Comments

  1. Hollywood, CA says

    The most important customer is “YOU,” Mr. Darden! Congrats for sticking up for yourself, your partner, and your community! I hope more people can follow suite. I also hope that your community will jump in to take the place of your lost business.

  2. paul says

    I would have continued to cut her hair but charge her double….that hairdresser WILL be able to marry eventually and he should make her contribute to his fabulous gay wedding !!!but no way should she be invited to the reception.

  3. Paul B. says

    Yes Antonio, YES! If we stopped doing their hair, makeup, homes…styling their lives for them so they don’t look like white trash…they would acknowledge us & our relationships. Those beeches on “The Five” would look like lumberjacks under all that gay artistry.

  4. B-rod says

    KUDOS to this guy. That’s the way to do it.

    I’m tired of all these conservatives who interact personally with gay people all the time, who think it’s ok to spit in our faces while asking to provide them services. Ain’t gonna work anymore.

    Let them know who they are hurting and who they discriminating against – personally.

  5. Paul says

    I applaud you and all who take a stand as you have. It’s your shop and you can refuse service to anyone you see fit.
    Why should anti-gay folks be the only ones able to boycott gay or gay friendly businesses.

  6. says

    classy response always. You all assign the word “hero” way too easily. There is nothing heroic about cancelling a hair appointment. If anything, its bad business.

    What if the Governor of Washington state went into her salon and her hairdresser refused to cut her hair because she only believed in “traditional” marriage? Would that person be heroic? No, of course not..you all would gasp and clutch your pearls and demand that the business be burned to the ground. Hypocrites and Arm chair quarterbacks.

    You are in the service industry, provide the service or find a new profession.

  7. says

    The Governor will never be pretty again. Here’s hoping all gay hair stylists, cutters, colorers start using their own powers of persuasian to ensure same-sex marriage gets passed. If one non-supporting Republican, female or male, comes into a gay man’s shop, turn them around and usher them out the door! Let them walk around ugly because they are the ugliest people of all! LOL!

  8. says

    the culture will shift when people give it a reason to shift.

    for too long people became pariahs for being LGBT. it’s kept the Closet Culture going.

    we’re finally getting to a place where being anti-LGBT will make a person the pariah.

    people care about “what others think” – we need to use this to our advantage.

    anti-progressive bigot? sorry – you’re gonna feel the sting of being an outcast. the good news? all you have to do to avoid such a sting is to be a decent human being.

  9. says

    Lisa, it’s his time and business, if he wants to withhold styling for the bigot masquerading as the governor of NM that’s up to him and who are you to tell him who he has to work for? I agree with the comment STFU, please do so or someone may start thinking they have the right to tell you who to work for.

  10. ChristopherM says

    Sigh. Lisa, if you can’t tell the differnce in behavior between someone who advocates for equality and someone who actively opposes it, you need more help than we can give.

  11. Pete n SFO says

    Hang on a moment, folks… Are we all okay w/ folks refusing to cut a gay persons hair b/c they don’t agree w/ their views? Or refuse them whatever service is their biz?

    Equal treatment cuts both ways- no pun intended. He should have just given a bad haircut & sent her on her way.

  12. Mary says

    I support Mr. Darden’s right to refuse service to any potential customer. Even though I agree with the Governor’s position on gay marriage, to LGBT people and their allies her position is akin to that of a segregationist’s position 50 years ago. In light of this view, it’s surprising that Mr. Darden can even remain civil in responding to a request for an appointment from the Governor.

    However, realize that this treatment works both ways. If Darden has a right to refuse the Governnor an appointment, then why shouldn’t a wedding boutique owner refuse to sell a wedding gown to an engaged lesbian? And I’m really saddened to see anyone here advocate that the Governor’s hair should have been ruined intentionally as spite. A similar comment was aired on Free Republic recently. A person advocated that a reception hall owner forced to host a gay wedding reception against his will ruin the event by making the food bad and unleashing rats to run around the hall.
    I never heard of anything so warped in my life.

    The culture wars are really starting to get scary. Now you see why I worry so much about backlash. Each side is capable of actions that could lead to violence on a larger scale (I say larger because I know that there are already violent acts commited by bigots against LGBT people.)

  13. says

    Well, the good governor obviously directly discriminates against gay people so she shouldn’t be too surprised or upset when gay people discriminate against her. Those who discriminate have little cause to complain when given a taste of their own medicine. I don’t know the specific non-discrimination laws in NM, but it’s unlikely she’ll put up a fuss since it would only cast her in a bad light.

    Those who say, well, what if someone refused to cut Gov. Gregoire’s hair because they disagree with her support of equality, or refused to sell flowers to a gay bride? But it’s not the same. In those cases the merchant would be discriminating against someone who hasn’t discriminated against them. They’d be discriminating just cause they don’t like them. So, rather a misguided comparison.

  14. Kenneth says

    Sorry Mary, but you have no place here and your opinion is not valid in this dialogue, as you openly profess that you are somehow superior to the LGBT community. However, to you and all the others saying that this goes both ways, no S*&% that’s the point exactly! Straight businesses, doctors, lawyers, and public servants refuse gay people every day. Finally a gay business owner is turning the tables. He is putting his money where his mouth is…respect the LGBT community or do business elsewhere. Just like the straight bed and breakfast owners, the bakers, the dress-makers, and other businesses who have been in the news of late for refusing to serve gays or lesbians, he is telling his Governor, “this is what it feels like to be denied.” The sooner more gay business owners take this tack, the sooner people will see that what they have been doing is wrong,

  15. Mary says

    Kenneth, in case you didn’t read my post carefully, I was SUPPORTING Mr. Darden’s right to refuse the Governor service. I was only saying that there needs to be consistency in the laws. And are you attempting to throw me off Towleroad by telling me that I have “no place here?” I think Andy and Brandon are the ones who make that decision – and I’m grateful that they tolerate my presence.

    I try to be respectful of the gay community and explain how things look from the perspective of some of us on the cultural right. Communication between people of different ideologies is a good thing and we should encourage it. I don’t feel that I am “superior” to anyone – gay or straight.

  16. says

    well, you’re not Mary. You’re markedly inferior, in intellect and in character.

    this is not a case of “well, it goes both ways” – one is baseless bigotry, the other a response to baseless bigotry.

    anyone who can’t see that should do us all a favor and get their tubes tied.

    people won’t be as proud of their bigotry when they realize that it’ll harm them.

    and they deserve to be living fear, frankly. We have to Come Out and risk being the target for anti-gay nutjobs every day of our lives. time for them to see how it feels.

  17. says

    I’d just be careful to keep your marriage equality views to yourself, Mary, if you go to a gay hairdresser or you might emerge with a Maggie Gallagher bob, and that would be tragic. And you know I’m only giving you that friendly advice because, deep down, I know you’d love to catch the bouquet at a gay wedding. You might wear a bigotry dress but your secret tolerant slip is showing. Fix yourself, girl!

  18. Kenneth says

    Yes, I did read your comment Mary, and no I am not trying to throw you off someone else’s site, just calling BS on you. You come onto a blog that addresses the concerns of a community of which you are obviously not a part and say openly that we don’t deserve equal rights to yours. You said it above and I’ve seen you post it on more than a few other occasions…”I agree with the Governor’s position on gay marriage.” Saying that you agree with the Governor’s position is the same as saying the LGBT community does not deserve the right to be equal. Perhaps you don’t realize it, but that means you believe that we are not equal, we are by your assertion, inferior. Therefore, on this site, your opinion is of NO value. Sure, you are entitled to it, but you know the old saying… opinions a@#holes…
    Even more insulting, Mary, is that you go so far as to compare our situation to the civil rights causes of the not so distant past and still come to your appalling conclusion. Your statement “Even though I agree with the Governor’s position on gay marriage, to LGBT people and their allies her position is akin to that of a segregationist’s position 50 years ago” is no different than a white person saying “while I don’t agree she should have a seat at the front of the bus, I support Rosa Parks’s decision to not give up her seat to that white man.” That, Mary, is disgusting, bigoted, and offensive. So while I have absolutely no right to tell you to get off this site, be certain I have every right, and will continue to exercise that right, to call you out on your offensiveness.

  19. Mary says

    I actually didn’t give this issue a whole lot of thought before I posted – my fault. It’s true that refusing to serve someone for reason A may be perfectly legit, while refusing for reason B may not be. The point is that while I sympathize with Mr. Darden’s desire to not do business with people who he feels are hurting his interests, this claim can be made by others and may lead to more lawsuits and more trouble overall. The lawsuits get tiresome for the public to hear about. And with the gay community winning more and more legislative and court victories all the time, now may be the time to ease up on these kinds of conflicts and give the losing side time to get used to the change. Not because they deserve the graciousness, but because it will make things easier for YOU in the long run. It might even get some of on the losing side to discover that they have a “secret tolerant slip!”

  20. Patric says

    It should be noted that not only is Martinez most definitely opposed to equal rights for LGBT people but that she is almost certain to be on the short, short VP list of whichever clown gets the Republican presidential nomination. As a woman and a Latina from a swing state, she could help with what are sure to be some of the ticket’s biggest vulnerabilities.

  21. anon says

    Kiwi (and others), I agree with you on almost everything you post. I disagree with Mary’s position and Rick is a pathological misogynist, but I find your treatment of them rather… mean. I don’t think you are a mean person, or that you really want to be. Yes, they are wrong. However, I don’t think anyone ever becomes “more right” by being berated. Mary is here, I think, because of that slip of hers. Ply her a little bit with love and kindness and see if she doesn’t strip down more than she would otherwise. She might not deserve your love, Kiwi, but YOU do. For your own heart. You can still tell her she’s wrong without being nasty.

  22. Tom in long beach says

    I think mr. Darden made a good point. For too long many of us have been uncle toms… At some point you just cannot do it anymore. As for us being told to be tolerant….
    Sad that a Latina would choose not to be on the side of equality… Most likely will back up her ignorance by quoting some Catholic bishop or cardinal…

  23. DrMiket says

    A very cool idea. All the hairdressers who service the wives of the GOP candidates should do the same. Can you imagine Newt’s third wife without her stylist? And how about all the interior designers that Mitt needs for all his homes?

  24. Book 7 says

    Good for you!!! That’s putting your money where your mouth is! I wonder if she gets how it feels to be discriminated against for who you are?
    Although… I would have had her come in one last time, and given her an irreparably heinous haircut.

  25. David says

    The quality of Towleroad is lessened by the vitriol expressed in these comments. By extension, its value to me is also diminished.

    I am a daily reader of this site and my sentiments echo those of Anonymous above: Disagreement is acceptable, attacking and name calling is not. Dial it back. Use your language to explain your point and convince us, if necessary, that yours is the correct way to consider the matter.

    This type of strident and immature behavior reflects poorly on the individuals who submit these posts, and it reflects poorly on this site.

  26. Daymon says

    YES!! I’m so proud of you!! We need to stand up for ourselves and start FIGHTING BACK!!Listen, gay marriage isn’t even enough! It’s NOT recognized by the federal government and we get NO TAX BREAKS, nor federal benefits!! REPEAL DOMA!!! gays are being killed and hung around the world. USA is NOT setting an example by “Kind of” recognizing us. WE’VE HAD ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

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