Educator: 16 Million Women Married to Gay Men in China

A Chinese educator estimates 16 million women are married to gay men in China due to social stigma:

Gay_beijingProfessor Zhang Bei-chuan at Qingdao University, an authority on AIDS and HIV, says that due to traditional family values in China, about 90 percent of homosexual men get married because of pressure to conform.

"But their wives are struggling to cope and their plight should be recognized," he said on Thursday…

…Xiao now runs a website called "Homeland of gays' wives", which has 1,200 registered users and provides support and advice.

"The website makes them feel they're not alone and empowers them to make the right choices," she said.
Zhang said that getting their voice heard was the first step to raising public awareness.

Image from a gay wedding held in Beijing a year ago.


  1. jtramon says

    What a shame. Not much different from the US and men who were or are ashamed of who they are. Because of the “pressure to conform”, or perhaps, more accurately a lack of courage to live their lives as gay men (out or not), they get married and have children. To “conform”.

    How many times have we seen that as they age, these self-loathing gay men suddenly decide to “find themselves”, leave their marriages and children behind leaving a trail of wreckage in their wake.

  2. W says

    The pressure to marry and start a family is much more acute in China than it is in most Western households. Seeing this from the perspective of self-loathing misses the point. Chinese values dictate that the family is more important than the individual, while Western values emphasize the individual over the collective. You can’t moralize everything using the same cultural lens because it fails to capture what kind of burden gays and lesbians live with in places like China.

  3. Caliban says

    China is going to be an interesting situation to watch. Thanks to their One Child rule, a cultural preference for male children, the use of abortion as a way to control your child’s gender (which is illegal, but still practiced), and sending female children to the West for adoption, China now has a HUGE surplus male population, men for whom there are no potential mates. In some areas the percentage of female births is 20+% lower than that of males.

    There have been several articles written about China’s gender gap and possible repercussions. Some articles claim there has been a rise in crime, particularly sex crimes, as a result and women being forced into prostitution.

    One obvious way of dealing with this gender disparity would be through a greater acceptance of (male at least) homosexuality. That’s certainly preferable to the historical method of dealing with a surplus male population, which was war.

  4. Buffy says

    Piggybacking on caliban’s comment here. I think the main obvious way to counter the gender disparity in China would be to to promote greater gender parity. Acceptance of homosexuality would also have to be part of the solution, but I think the main thing driving the current gender gap is the inherent sexism that values boys over girls.

  5. l boss says

    They should all be put on Antarctica so they can live their marry lives and atop lying to everyone.