1. says

    there’s much truth to it. i don’t know ANY comfortable straight guys who have a problem with Anything Gay.

    i have known many closeted, and semi-closeted, guys who take issue with Anything Gay, as part of their disguise.

    are all homophobes Homosexual? No. many are. the others are simply pretty-much-straight guys who are wholly confused and terrified by the fact that they’re NOT repulsed by male-male sexual contact.

    you show me an anti-gay straight man and i’ll show you a guy who enjoyed his ‘teenage experiences with other Straight Guys’ a little bit too much for his own liking, and who’s adamant in never letting anyone know it happened.

  2. Matt says


    You are so right! A female friend of mine that I have known for years has one of the coolest husbands I’ve ever met. He’s so secure with himself he could care less that I’m gay; he treats me like just one of the guys.

    In contrast, the guy in high school who called me a fag in front of all of his friends came to my work two years later, hit on me and asked me out.

  3. says

    Matt, been there buddy!

    people who are comfortable with who they are, and what they are, dont’ take issue with anyone else who is different.

    “straight” guys who can’t stop talking about how much they’re disgusted with gay guys are exposing this reality about themselves.

    same goes for gay men who can’t stop talking about how disgusted they are with, well, the same type of gay men that those so-called “straight” bigots take issue with.

    it’s pathetic.

    anti-gay women are like anti-Choice women. they’re not empowered, they’re not strong – they suck up to the men they’re slaves to in order to win tolerance.

    “Good for her! She knows her place!”

    that’s why the only women who think Palin and Bachmann are role models for young women are the bored housewives whose husband’s demand oral sex with a closed fist. yup.

  4. GregV says

    I agree, Little Kiwi, and back when I was closeted and 100% of my friends identified as straight, I saw it play out again and again and again.

    My straight-identified male friends who had no discomfort talking about gay people or being with gay people were the ones who showed no signs of conscious or unconscious sexual interest in me or any other men.

    Any straight-identifing male friend I ever had who were very homophobic would eventually cross some sort of line.

    When we’d be on vacation, the open-minded straight guys could share a bed or a tent with me and never once would have an “accident”. But, “oops,” the violent homophobe’s hand would accidentally end up caressing my body; he must have thought I was his girlfriend in the dark, har har, what a silly mistake — just don’t tell her. (Hmm, and his side of the bed would have evidence of a nocturnal emission the next morning.)

    That’s just one example among dozens I saw, but I saw the pattern over and over, and there were signs from every homophobe I ever knew of an intense sexual interest in men which obviously terrified them.

  5. Mary says

    “are all homophobes Homosexual? No. many are. the others are simply pretty-much-straight guys who are wholly confused and terrified by the fact that they’re NOT repulsed by male-male sexual contact.”

    On a serious note, glad to see that you realize not all “homophobes” are secretly gay. You seem to be developing more realization that people don’t all fit into categories perfectly – this is good. Your second comment may have some truth to it. A lot of us on the “anti-gay” Right are no longer offended or repelled by seeing gay or lesbians kiss, whether on screen or in public. In fact, it’s starting to look……well,..normal (there, I said it!) I understand this new reaction as what happens when a society changes slowly and new forms of behavior become acceptable. You’re no longer shocked by something that would have disturned you years earlier. But there is a long history on the cultural right that says that being “desensitized” to certain behavior is proof that you’re on your way to accepting that behavior. Straight men, particularly straight right-wing men, may be worried about their own sexual preferences if seeing two men kiss doesn’t bother them anymore. I personally am at the point where I can even view displays of affection between a gay or lesbian couple and think they look downright beautiful together. A lot of us don’t quesion our sexuality over this, but often feel “WTF? Am I supposed to find this beautiful?”

    We live in confusing times.

  6. says

    One one hand, studies have confirmed this, so it’s probably true. On the other hand, I am sad that that I now have to be lumped with these self-hating closet-cases. Can’t the straights keep em?

  7. says

    anyone remember those dudes who, if a nude or semi-nude male was shown in a film, would vocalize how “grossed out” they were by that male nudity?

    yeah. i wonder how those poor guys deal with changing in gym lockerrooms, or looking in a mirror, as the sight of fellow males makes them get grossed out. i also wonder how they’re able to enjoy pornography, which even at its “straightest’ contains men, often many men, in states of high sexual arousal.

    they doth protest too much.

    keep telling us how gross you think it is. maybe one day someone will believe you.


  8. anon says

    I think there was one small study done, but not a large follow-up, so the conclusion are still largely anecdotal. It’s probably on the right track, though.

  9. Rick says

    No, no, no.

    The actual TRUTH of the matter is that virtually ALL people have SOME degree of sexual attraction to both men and women. A DEGREE of bisexuality is the norm and this has been confirmed through the works of virtually all serious behavioral scientists who have studied human sexuality, from Freud through Kinsey through Masters and Johnson and on down.

    The real insecurity is with those of you who want to place everyone in either a “gay” or “straight” box because sexual ambiguity terrifies you, given that it implies that everyone has some degree of choice in their sexual activity–which is inconvenient (or so you think) to your political goals.

    Bottom line is you would find some degree of arousal in most men if they were exposed to gay porn, regardless of whether or not they were homophobic in their attitudes…..the two traits actually have nothing to do with each other and the degree of homophobia in a man is less a reflection of fear of his sexual proclivities than it is a reflection of his cultural background.

    And this is reinforced by the fact that even many men who do not approve of lesbianism socially are nevertheless instinctively turned on by girl-on-girl sex.

    Which brings us back to the real solution to homophobia–namely to change a male culture which discourages all men from emotional and sexual intimacy with other men and pushes them to devote themselves emotionally and sexually to women, instead.

    Change that culture and we will liberate all men and the whole concept of “gay” and “straight” will fall by the wayside, as they deserve to…..even though THAT development will threaten deeply the identity of some of you, particuarly those of you who see “gay” as an excuse for effeminacy and cowardice.

  10. says

    show us, RICK, via your own youtube video or webpage exactly what specific work you are doing to give a Face and Name to what Gay can mean in 2012 in the USA.

    Now, we all know Rick is a pathetic troll with no testicles, but this latest ramble of his was hilarious in pointing that out.

    “effeminacy and cowardice”? hilarious, coming from a man so insecure and Closeted that he can’t even show himself and the “manly gay example” he pretends to be.

    it’s textbook – insecure homosexuals like Rick will furiously defend their right to be Closeted and yet cannot stop screaming, from the back of their closets, about how ‘weak’ ‘effeminate’ guys are.

    they’re not the ones living in the Closet, though. it’s those self-styled masculine men who don’t have the BALLS to be Out that have only themselves to blame for their insecurities.

    i don’t know any gay people who see being gay as an excuse for being “effeminate”

    i do know countless cowards, however, who use “those gays are effeminate!” as their excuse to live utterly pathetic closeted lives as adults.

    will RICK prove me wrong by providing the URL where he shows us all what a big strong example of a man he is? of course not. he’s not one.

  11. says

    to add to the main thesis of this video, i don’t know any secure and masculine gay men who take any sort of issue with “effeminate” men.

    why? for the same reason i don’t know any secure straight men that take issue with gay men.

    if you know who you are, you don’t mind those who are different.

    if you can’t stop throwing negative attention toward ______, it’s most likely because you’re more _______ than you’d like to think.

    wanna see an example? check this out:

  12. says

    And once again, Rick ruins a totally valid argument by injecting his own personal brand of pseudo-machismo into everything. It is not these effeminate men who are insecure and cowardly, Rick, it is you. You are too threatened by the fact that some people have the courage to express themselves freely without living in constant fear of how others will judge them. The solution isn’t to pretend that there’s something wrong with them, the solution is to grow some damn balls and accept who you are! You’ll be happier, instead of this bitter husk of self-loathing that you are now.

    How can an adult be so solipsistic (and narcissistic) as to think that EVERYONE should be a reflection of himself?! People are different, deal with it. Being more overtly masculine does not make you any better than anyone else, and effeminacy is not indicative of a lack of masculinity. I have known many effeminate men who are wonderful people and could benchpress your self-hating ass.


  13. says

    if “effeminate men” were the weak ones then they’d all be Closeted, and thus the only Out gay men would be the apparently “masculine” ones, and thus Gay and Effeminate would not be in any way linked.

    weakness is not defined by where you fit in in some big old spectrum of perceive masculinity and femininity.

    if you’re not Out, you’re not masculine. there’s nothing masculine about being a little boy who gives excuse to continue hiding.

  14. Rick says

    “I have known many effeminate men who are wonderful people and could benchpress your self-hating ass”

    LOL. Yeah, they can benchpress a ton, are ripped and muscular……and STILL run from fights when confronted by “straight” men half their size.

    Why? Because they have been so psychologically damaged through the internalization of homophobia that they really are afraid that they will get their butts beat by a puny, little guy simply because they believe that his heterosexuality makes him of superior masculinity to them.

    And that is really, really tragic–it is all in their heads and all they have to do to overcome it is make a determined effort to do so..

    Embracing such a damaged psychological state as a form of “diversity” and natural behavior only prolongs the problem, both for such individuals on a personal level and for all gay people at the group level

  15. says

    and once again, remember that Rick is saying this when he himself is a completely closeted grown adult men.

    gay men who complain and insult “effeminate men” are the exact same thing as self-professed straight men who can’t stop talking about how disgusting gay men are.

    i’m actually happy he logged onto this thread to prove the rest of us right.

  16. No kidding says

    “If you’re homophobic, you’re probably gay.” OK, then the best way for a straight man to prove how straight and self-confident he is, is to kiss a gay man in public.

    But not enjoy it too much. Just a little. And not too often. And not too many. Just the occasional piece of fruit.

    I suggest every straight guy find himself a gay guy he can kiss in public just so people won’t suspect him of being in the closet.

  17. says

    Cowards are cowards, it is not related to how effeminate they are. Just because you would “run from a fight when confronted with “straight” men” half your size does not mean others are the same way. These thoughts are not reflective of anyone but yourself so stop projecting. I’m quite saddened by how you turned out. You worship masculinity because you’re insecure about your own, and it causes you so much anguish.

  18. jason says

    What on earth has male sexuality got to do with porn? Porn is about voyeurism, not experience. Human sexuality is about experience. Stop using porn as a measure of human sexuality.

  19. says

    Winston, you forget that Rick is such a wimp, and SO terrified of all straight men, that he’s not even Out, and he’s freakin’ OLD.

    always the same thing, eh?

    the closeted guy who keeps insisting that the Out guys are the weak ones. yeah. because that makes sense 😀

    If Rick believed even half of what he preached he be putting out a URL to his own videos showing what a strong, empowered, masculine gay male role model he is.

    Rick has not done this, for two very specific reasons.

    1. he’s not Out
    2. he’s not the masculine man he wishes he was.

    if he was he’d have proven it.

  20. says

    @littlekiwi I’m tempted to wish people like Rick would NEVER come out. I already have to be lumped in the same orientation as Rentboy Rekers and Jeffrey Dahmer. And now Rick too? Don’t I deserve nice things?!

  21. says

    We all knew most homophobes were gay. thats not news to any gay men

    They resent that gay men are confident and comfortable enough in their own skin to be out, to be happy and to have HOT gay sex and not be ashamed of it. those are all things the closeted homophobe can’t relate to. So they take it out on those of us who are well adjusted, gay, and make no apologies for it. It’s their pathetic sad cycle. We continue to live our lives as we wish.

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