Comments

  1. Rick says

    Just look at the guy. Do you seriously think he would not be ridiculed on a regular basis in the absence of a video? And how can you say the video was “mocking” if the teacher’s motivation was unclear?

    Look, if you look and act like a freak, you are going to be ridiculed, regardless of sexual orientation, and I personally am thoroughly sick and tired of such freaks trying to use their sexual orientation as an excuse for their freakish behavior and claim that their sexual orintation is the cause of their being ridiculed when it is really just because of their freakishness.

  2. Rick says

    P.S. I think it would be hilarious if another gay student at the school would pin him down and cut that hair thing off the back of his head a la Mitt Romney, just to make the point that this is NOT about his sexual orientation.

  3. Rick says

    And I also hate women because I was forced to felch my mother. While Diana Ross records were playing. Which is why I hate blacks and divas, too.

  4. Rick says

    Shut up, Mateom. I’m a real masculine man, and you freaks and fems are the reason I had to dress up in blackface drag for my dad. If you fems just acted like real men he’d have let me blow him while dressed as a real boy, which is all I ever wanted.

  5. says

    Rick, so it’s OK to ridicule someone if you determine them to be “freakish” looking? Tell you what. Why don’t you post your photo on here and let’s see if anyone will determine that you look freakish, stupid, gay, redneck, or just plain ugly! I bet after about 5 or 6 comments you will have had enough.

    Anyone can come up with an “excuse” to be hateful. Let’s put the teachers face up on the white board so everyone can see just how much of an angel she looks like. . . . and call her out for her own ignorance.

    People like you and the teacher need to step in other peoples shoes once in a while and get a reality check on just how ugly and hateful people like yourself can really be.

  6. MarkUs says

    Mother Superior (Maggie Smith) is flabbergasted : “A person like that is not inconspicuous! A person like this is meant to stick out!!”

  7. Rick says

    I am a real man and nobody can tell that I’m gay and if this freak just did what I do and pretended not to be gay then everything would be fine. It’s because of freak fems that I shart every time I walk. That’s why I’m on here every day – I can’t walk. Because then I shart.

  8. Rick says

    No, you fem freaks need to stop acting like goddamn freaks. Just like blacks would be treated better if they wore makeup to look more white.

  9. NullNaught says

    @Rick
    This is not an attak. I am reaching out to you. If your story is true, and I have no reason to believe it is not, then you are suffering from PTSD. You sound as angry as I used to be. You need to seek psychotherapy and medication. If you do not, you run the risk of ending up in jail or prison. That you are advocating someone assault this child frightens me. Please seek help.
    Also, don’t vent here, because it is bad for you. You are being attacked for being mentally ill; it is upsetting to watch both sides.

  10. Brian in Texas says

    The troll that impersonates Rick is really annoying. I don’t always agree with Rick, but I welcome his opinion. There is room for different views.

    Lets be honest. He would get ridiculed for that hairstyle regardless if he was gay or straight. Not that it’s right, but you can’t deny that fact.

  11. MateoM says

    Brian in Texas: you say that as though it’s an inevitability. Maybe if this country out greater emphasis on treating others with respect, looking a certain way wouldn’t guarantee you ridicule. Human beings aren’t inherently cruel. They have to be taught that.

  12. MateoM says

    I meant “greater,” not “out.” Damn spell correct.

    Also, Brian, the only opinions that Rick ever has are that non-masculine gays are a nuisance, that women are awful, and that people of color are suspect. I’m only willing to put up with contributers who are willing to deliberate. Rick only comes here to post his vitriol, and then ridicules those who disagree with his hate speech.

  13. Brian in Texas says

    @Mateom

    I agree humans aren’t inherently cruel, but in a high school setting you are dealing with kids from 14-18 yrs of age. These are not responsible thoughtful adults.

  14. MateoM says

    Brian: true. That being said, I was more condemning their parents and authority figures for instilling such a fear and hatred of difference in them.

  15. MateoM says

    Guys, Rick’s a very sad creature. He seems to have no love or joy in his life. He just want to make everyone around him feel as bad as he does. It’s pathetic. He’s literally incapable of reconciling the sources of his suffering. He’s a deluded, self-loathing person. Just ignore him. He’ll have to face his demons someday. Don’t feed his addiction to misery.

  16. Dale says

    Wow, @rick sounds like my grandfather. Ridicule someone is different. Romney had the same attitude and he ended up assaulting a student with his posse by forcibly cutting the boys hair. Maybe @rick would rather condone the same behavior?

  17. Brian in Texas says

    I read this blog daily and have never read anything “hateful” from one of Rick’s comments. Yes, he has a certain point of view that is not popular with a lot of other readers on this site. But, so what? There isn’t room for different views? Ironically, the only hate, bullying, and trolling I see come from those who want to silence his opinion.

  18. Jay says

    Then you, Brian, are either a willfully ignorant idiot or are a troll yourself.

    Truly.

    It’s not about different views, it’s about inherently prejudiced ones.

    The solace we can all take is knowing that Rick will die in the Closet he’s never grown the balls to exit. And he won’t be missed. By anyone.

  19. NullNaught says

    @Brian in texas
    If I subtract the 4 posts you recomend, then I would have to retract the part about jail or prison ready and my fear over his suggestion of assault. The rest more or less stands. If his experiences are what they say they are, then almost certainly he is suffering PTSD, he is being attacked for being mentally ill, and he needs med.s/psychotherapy rather than to be ridiculed for venting here where it is painful to watch both sides.

  20. NullNaught says

    @Brian in texas
    Are you being disingenuous about Rick not saying hateful things? Don’t you see useing the emotional word “Freak” repeatedly in his first post was hateful? He is hopeing people who look like that are reading his post and feeling hurt by it. If that was not his aim, he could have used less angry/hateful emotionally-charged words. such as “his failure to conform” or something less awkward.
    Is it not so?

  21. MateoM says

    Brian, are you another alias of Rick? You seem blissfully ignorant to his constant femmeaphobia, misogyny, and racism. Maybe you’re just new to this blog. Putting down blatant hate speech is not bullying, just as calling out Tony Perkins for his anti-gay vitriol wouldn’t be bullying. When someone goes out of their way to routinely insult others without provocation, they are bullying.

  22. Brian in Texas says

    @ NULLHAUGHT

    He’s certainly not politically correct, but he’s just pointing out the circumstance that if you look like that in high school there is a high chance you will be ridiculed. Regardless of sexuality. He wasn’t saying that it SHOULD happen.

  23. Francis says

    Rick is desperate for attention. Don’t give him the pleasure.

    The teacher who intentionally showed the prom video in class has to have their name released. And then she needs to be immediately suspended until full information is gathered regarding this situation. We cannot allow this bigot to simply get by with discrimination without even acknowledging who she is. Hopefully the name is released, I tried looking on the web and couldn’t find out who exactly is the culprit of this horrific offense.

    I’m glad Jared has a supportive family. Hopefully they look into suing the school board and bigoted teacher if they realize that attempting to diplomatically handle this incident ends up going nowhere.

  24. Munro says

    I remember being in High School and coming out of the closet at 16, being captain oof my swim team and relatively more adjusted than the only other gay guy in school who would wear makeup, heels, purses, and horrible womens clothesand jewelry.

    I remember being super embarassed about him, and hating him because I felt as though I was changing minds and hearts for being a kid who happened to be gay, whereas he was THE GAY KID. I am not and was not self hating, but I think that the rainbows, glitter and house music sometimes distracts and takes away from our legitmacy as a subculture. I know i’ll probably be told to STFU, but I’m no Rick and I know what I’m saying is true.

    Kids are going to be picked on and bullied. Idk if tracks and eyeliner is the best for your (identified) male son to wear to high school??

  25. rayrayj says

    Whether it is “the real Rick” or someone else I can’t say but the person writing as rick appears to be an ignorant ass who rather than making logical points attempts to bully and intimidate others in order to shut up those who disagree with him. Seriously, no one knows you’re gay? I guess if you only have sex with women no one knows. If you have sex with men… mmmm sorry someone probably suspects. It is really difficult to appear straight when you’re having sex with another man.

  26. says

    Munro, I’ll call your bluff on that story, 100%.

    I. Call. Your. Bluff.

    Your stance is the stance of an apologist coward, and if you were anything resembling a real man whatsoever your pathetic @ss would have stuck up for that glittery kid rather than you feeling you needed to distance yourself from him.

    If it was a true story. Which it isn’t. At all.

    Ten bucks says you cant’ put a face and name to your “story”, either. You guys never can.

    And Brian, you showed your true colours today. Dunce.

  27. NullNaught says

    @Brian in texas
    It is more than politically incorrect to use the word “Freak” repeatedly when he knows perfectly well that people who look like that are likely to read these comments. He is being overly emotional in his presentation. I cannot agree with you that this is not angry hurtful speach. He is throwing emotional bombs with language like that. If this were not intended, he would find a less hurtful way to express himself – I know. I used to do that. I was very angry at one time. It still leaks out on occasion. I can recognize it in him because I have been there. If he really hates women, that is another indication of the exact same thing.
    If he is being impersonated here, the person who is doing it has control issues; that person needs to seek councilling/med.s as well.

  28. says

    prove it, munro. after all, you’ve been “Out” for ages and have no problem with people knowing you’re gay. so prove it.
    ten bucks says you won’t. online liars love to boast, and run away when they get called on it. always.

  29. NullNaught says

    @Littlekiwi
    I think munro gets it. You don’t like free speach. You are tying to shut him up by cyber-bullying. Move on you hateball.

  30. Brian in Texas says

    Whether Munro’s story is true or false (and what would he have to gain to make up that story?) is besides the point. The point being made is this Pennsylvania student would be made fun of in a lot of high schools simply for his hair style choices, not for his being openly gay.

    Does that justify his being bullied? Absolutely not.

  31. Paul says

    I hope the teacher’s name is released so they can have the pleasure of knowing what it’s like to be ridiculed in the public eye.

    Also, Rick and Brian have cooties.

  32. says

    I love free speech. That’s why I’m offering him the opportunity to exercise it and prove me wrong. but he won’t. because he made it up.

    he has the same thing to gain that rick (and now brian in texas) have to gain by coming on here to spread their own b.s. – you convince yourself that your lives aren’t a complete failure because you came onto a messageboard and told a lie, from a place of anonymity.

    munro’s story is not only false, it’s a COWARDLY false story. “hey, i was, like, a jock and i was changing minds and like, this, like, really femmy gay kid was, like, embarrassing to me”

    that’s the sadly hilarious thing about the fake story – not only is it a complete lie, but it’s a complete lie that still makes him sound like a wimp.

  33. NullNaught says

    @Littlekiwi
    No doubt you think you like free speach. You are actually attempting to silence people like your freind TJ who post anonymously. By attacking those who post anonymously, you attempt to silence them by “shaming” them for something they should not be ashamed of. Anonymous posting allows a person to speak their mind freely, instead of feeling intimidated by having their words associated with themselves. People who say things that upset others are often assasinated. Speaking anonymously allows one to be free of such fears.
    You have control issues, in that you can’t tolerate people expressing opinions which differ from your own. You badger them and call them names. This is not an attack; you need to seek counciling and med.s. You are not a well person.
    Good job at not reading my posts. You are just the absolute monarch of self-control. How long did you hold out? 3 or 4 days? Pu$$y.

  34. MateoM says

    Munro, straight-acting means just that: acting straight so that people don’t think you’re a queer. You didn’t win hearts or breakdown stereotypes, you hid your orientation until you got caught. And since you had the same personality ( a facade of heterosexual masculinity), people just excuse your gayness. It’s easy to get away with something if you actively keep people off the trail of discovery.

    You were a popular jock in spite of who you are, not because of who you are. There’s a difference. I’m sorry you never felt it was okay to let your freak flag fly. Have fun not ruffling any homophobic feathers.

  35. says

    Exactly, Mateom.

    There’s nothing noble about distancing yourself from an “outsider” in order to win the tolerance of the people you blended in with.

    That fake story might as well be saying “i was black, but i wasn’t one of those blacks who listened to rap, so i wasn’t made fun of”

    congrats. you passed for white and didn’t have the balls to stand up for the kid who didn’t. coward. well, i mean, if the story was true. which it isn’t.

    oh, and people who post (actually, it’s “boast”) anonymously are already ashamed of themselves. that’s why they don’t put a face to their comments. and then they give cowardly excuses for being cowardly. *yawn*

  36. NullNaught says

    Evidently TJ is ashamed of himself because he posts anonymously. Evidently everybody who posts anonymously is ashamed of themselves. What a crock of $hit. What lack of perspective. How terribly irrational. Kiwi, gets some F*cking help.

  37. Rovex says

    Hang on are we saying that you cant be average and gay? Are we saying you HAVE to be a mincing queen? Thats the impression im getting from Mateom and Littlekiwi here.

    Its not straight acting, its being average. The only reason some (most) gay people ‘pass as straight’ is that people have a mistaken impression that average means straight. It doesnt, it just means that they are average, some average people are gay.

  38. David Hearn says

    OK, so Rick is a meanie. But what he said about Swank is inarguably true. Basically, being a freak is a demand for attention whether it’s as a campy pseudo drag queen or some ghetto trash thugling wannabe. If you walk into a high school wiff gole teef and you Eminem thang going on- do you think that anyone is going to care if you are gay or straight? Of course not, you’re a cartoon and they will mock you.

    Having said that, it’s never OK for a teacher to facilitate or lead that.

  39. NullNaught says

    TJ posts anonymously. If it is cowardly and self-loathing to post anonymously, then TJ is a coward. You can’t have it that posting anonymously is bad, but posting anonymously as TJ is good, idiot.
    Littlekiwi is anonymous because he can’t prove he is who he says he is. This has been pointed out to him and he is too stupid to get the point.
    Littlekiwi said he was going to permaignore me on one occasion and that he was never going to read my posts again on another occasion. He betrays knowledge of what I am posting in his posts. He has a crush on me. Sorry littlkiwi, I don’t do hateballs.
    Littlekiwi comes on here to beat up people he views as less politically correct than himself. He chooses what he thinks is the most politically correct position he can, in order to beat up on others. He is beating up on them, because he never says anything in a corrective way. He always finds the most hateful disrespectful thing to say to a person SO THAT THEY WILL NOT CHANGE. He doesn’t want them to change; then he couldn’t beat them up any more. This is because he is a sadistic cyber-bully. Judge for yourself if what I say is not true.

  40. says

    What is this “freak flag” that everyone is waving? It’s quite simple that if you deviate, even in the slightest, from what is considered the “norm,” then you will be a target by those who have nothing better to do with their time, or who are extremely insecure with themselves. Those who attack are mere followers and cannot venture out of their comfort zone, ever. Those with a strong sense of self, like Jared Swank, are leaders because they do not have a problem showing their true selves to the world.

    Further, we as a community, LGBTQ, must work on eliminating our lack of internal cohesiveness. It is this internal divisiveness that our enemies from without relish as a means of never getting any of us to work as a whole toward equality and full civil rights.

  41. Rovex says

    Its a nice sentiment Sean, but you will always get the fems that hate the average acting guys because they think they are faking it to fit in, and you will always get the average acting guys who hate the fems because they think they are faking it just to make a scene and antagonize. Both are right on occasion, but not most of the time.

  42. MateoM says

    Rovex: Munro insinuated that he was a popular jock prior to coming out. If he wasn’t correcting people who presumed he was straight, which the emphasis he places on his own butchness indicates, then he was purposely cowering behind presumed heterosexuality. I’m boring and mostly average. But I’m out and proud and am quite vocal about what I am and where I stand. I can’t control what strangers on the street think I am. But I won’t lie to people to avoid confrontation or to avoid offending others.

  43. Don says

    I’m amazed at the number of people who say his looks get him picked on. First of all, this is a free country and people can dress how they want. Sure, kids can and will be cruel but this wasn’t about kids calling names, this is about a teacher holding this student up for public ridicule because he dared take a transgendered student to the prom and enjoy his night, you know, the way all the straight students did. Apparently this was such a crime that this teacher deemed it worthy of this destructive level of punishment. And for those of you who have not so skillfully written between the lines that he deserves what he gets for looking and acting femme, may I remind you (if you are gay) that if it wasn’t for the drag queens at Stonewall we might still be cowering in dark seedy bars for fear of getting arrested just for being gay, and may I comment to you (if you are straight) that looking down on a man for looking and acting femme pretty much makes you a complete jerk because who are you to say how a man should dress and act. Thank you.

  44. says

    nope, rovex. not even close. nobody is saying anything about “mincing queens” except for the insecure self-haters. there are plenty of gay men out there who don’t embody certain things that ignorant bigots deem “stereotypical” – the difference is they have integrity and balls and in no way denigrate, nor distance themselves from, the gay men those bigots choose to mock and belittle.

    duh.

  45. NullNaught says

    The people who seek to enforce gender roles are the same people who seek to enforce speech, racial and other norms as well. They are people afraid of their own urges. They are afraid of behaving themselves in a way that they see others behaveing. They create a deceptive facade in the first place and find the behaviour they witness as threatening to their own self-control.
    They need to deal with their own problems rather than trying to correct behaviours that are quite natural.

  46. Ben says

    Rick,

    I have posted at Towleroad previously that I generally agree with your view that being gay should not be equated with being effeminate or weird. I also agree that too much of the gay culture is created by people who have an interest in equating “gay” with “weird” or “effeminate” and these gay cultural players foist that image on all of us.

    So please listen to me, as a supporter of yours: You are not going about this the right way. If you want to persuade people, you do not minimize or excuse bullying by a teacher. You do not post flippant remarks about racial groups. You do not use needlessly inflammatory language.

    Remember, you are in a cultural war within the gay subculture and those who shape gay culture and push the “gay as effeminate/weird” theme have more influence than you, a lone commenter at Towleroad. So you have to be mature and persuasive and under no circumstances can you appear to condone bullying, even if the other side is expert at bullying dissenters.

  47. BobN says

    “I am not and was not self hating”

    Well, good for you. You just hated the fem kid who, probably, couldn’t help it. Again, good for you…

  48. Michael Lederman says

    Talk about hypocrites if the teacher had taken video of two normal students dancing no one would say a word but take video of two deviant (other than norm) students dancing and show it and your a homophobe. While on the topic why is it every time someone shares an opinon that doesn’t go with the GLBT party line they have to be labeled homophobic? Homophobic is fear of gays no one I know is afraid of gays they just find the lifestyle distastefull.

  49. Michael Lederman says

    Talk about hypocrites if the teacher had taken video of two normal students dancing no one would say a word but take video of two deviant (other than norm) students dancing and show it and your a homophobe. While on the topic why is it every time someone shares an opinon that doesn’t go with the GLBT party line they have to be labeled homophobic? Homophobic is fear of gays no one I know is afraid of gays they just find the lifestyle distastefull.

  50. Francis says

    Michael Lederman back again to lend his anti-gay views.

    Michael, the definition of homophobe is:

    Irrational fear, aversion, discrimination against homosexuality/homosexuals.

    Since gay is not a lifestyle, thus finding a sexual orientation “distasteful” irrational, you are a homophobe. Being homophobic results in you being labeled as such. If you don’t want to be labeled homophobic, don’t be homophobic.

    As for some of the others here, no-one saying that all gay men should act fem, or not follow whatever gender expression that fits you. If you’re more masculine or average acting, that’s totally fine. But we should SUPPORT our gay brothers and sisters who do not fit societal gender expectations. Period. They’re still one of us. Which is what I see far too many gay men, mostly, not recognize. When you look down on a gay man for not being masculine enough, you’re no different than the homophobes who look down on us. That’s it…….no excuses for it.

  51. says

    Just want to say I wasn’t a popular jock by any means! I completely stopped caring about what other people thought when I came out at 16. I realize my experience isn’t everyone’s, and that it is kind of unique. I stopped being teased about being gay AFTER I came out and was honest with everyone. I was really IDGAF-ish/flippant about it so it wasn’t a big deal.

    Don’t get me wrong, I had my moments. Reading poetry about my boyfriends to my creative writing class, reminding my history class/teacher that gays were in the holocaust, all to the dismay of my very southern instructors.

    Kiwi, REALLY shocked at the hostility. I usually am very TUNED IN to your comments, and even take my time to read them slowly because your so spot on most of the time. I was and am being completely honest about MY experience as a gay high schooler. It is what it is. Just because it doesn’t line up with what you experienced, doesn’t mean it can’t happen. I have to ask: were you that glittery kid?

    Also, you asked to see my face, click away. 😉

  52. Walter Fletcher says

    @Rick “Look, if you look and act like a freak, you are going to be ridiculed, regardless of sexual orientation, and I personally am thoroughly sick and tired of such freaks trying to use their sexual orientation as an excuse for their freakish behavior and claim that their sexual orintation is the cause of their being ridiculed when it is really just because of their freakishness.”

    What you call freak, I call his style. Who are you to judge the story here is he was subjugated to ridicule by a trusted teacher and his fellow peers. The teacher was in the wrong for what she did and all you can focus on is how he looks, not that much different from the teacher are you?

  53. LocalGuy says

    Debated on doing this…but I am a local so here goes

    Teachers name is Amy Hummer. Her husband is the football coach, and her father is on the school board, don’t expect much action.

    Everyone knew this kid was bullied, and any teacher with a functioning brain would know that showing a video of him With a transgendered date would only increase the problem.

    For those commenters claiming that the kids looks were the cause of his being bullied….there are always many factors in a situation like that, but a TEACHER should have the brains to not make the situation worse.

  54. says

    I don’t know where some of you are from, but a guy having long hair is not really “freaky” anymore. Maybe you are from 1953. I have no idea. Regardless, this boy or any other does not have to put up with abuse at school. There’s no excuse.

  55. Ben says

    Her last name is Hummer? Lol. If that’s so, you’d think she would have developed some empathy given the amount of ribbing she takes for that.

  56. Derrick from Philly says

    MUNRU,

    I’m sure that you didn’t do this but often the Gay guys who are ashamed of us non-gender role conforming Gays JOIN the gay-bashers against us. That’s what LITTLE KIWI has been trying to explain all these months about people like RICK.

    It is terrible to an highschool aged Gay kid or Transgender kid when other Gay people join in the gaybashing. In my case, it was/is unforgivable. There are Gays who bashed me– who didn’t come out until after highschool. I’ve hated them for almost 40 years now. Of course, some of them died during the Epidemic…I don’t have to hate them anymore.

    And no, I’m not going to any therapy to get rid of that hate. It isn’t that unhealthy–just bad humiliating memories, that’s all. I can continue to live with it. I aint missin’ nothin’.

  57. Derrick from Philly says

    MUNRU,

    I’m sure that you didn’t do this but often the Gay guys who are ashamed of us non-gender role conforming Gays JOIN the gay-bashers against us. That’s what LITTLE KIWI has been trying to explain all these months about people like RICK.

    It is terrible to an highschool aged Gay kid or Transgender kid when other Gay people join in the gaybashing. In my case, it was/is unforgivable. There are Gays who bashed me– who didn’t come out until after highschool. I’ve hated them for almost 40 years now. Of course, some of them died during the Epidemic…I don’t have to hate them anymore.

    And no, I’m not going to any therapy to get rid of that hate. It isn’t that unhealthy–just bad humiliating memories, that’s all. I can continue to live with it. I aint missin’ nothin’.

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