‘That’s So Gay’ Hurts Youth, University Of Michigan Study Finds

SirIanResearchers at the University of Michigan recently surveyed 114 lesbian, gay and bisexual students to see how the common phrase "that's so gay" has impacted their psychological lives.

The results are unsurprising:

Data suggests gay, lesbian and bisexual college students who heard “that’s so gay” more frequently were more likely to report feeling isolated and to suffer negative health symptoms, such as headaches, poor appetite or eating problems.

Practically every respondent reported hearing “that’s so gay” on campus at least once in the past 12 months. Nearly half of the students said they’ve heard the phrase more than 10 times within the year. Only 14 respondents—or 13 percent—hadn’t heard it at all.

Hearing the phrase more often was found to increase students’ risk of health problems and feelings of isolation.

The study's author, Michael Woodford, suggests that the phrase "that's so go" simply exacerbates pre-existing low self-esteems. "Given the nature of gay-lesbian-bisexual stigma, sexual minority students could already perceive themselves to be excluded on campus and hearing ‘that’s so gay’ may elevate such perceptions,” he said, according to Detroit's local CBS affiliate.

"'That’s so gay’ conveys that there is something wrong with being gay. And, hearing such messages about one’s self can cause stress, which can manifest in headaches and other health concerns."

The study, called “That's So Gay!”: Examining the Covariates of Hearing This Expression Among Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual College Students", appears in the latest edition of Journal of American College Health.

Comments

  1. C.R says

    As a black gay man, nothing infuriates me more than the phrase “that’s so gay” seriously, I could be not tell you how offensive it is, on so many different levels. My grandparents didn’t fight racial injustice so their grandchild could grow up and hear “that’s so gross and gay” as a common phrase. It’s a vile way of speaking and needs to be called out everytime someone close to you says it.

    I can tell you I’ve changed many a minds and helped them see why it’s offensive by just simply pointing it out to the person. They instantly ‘got it’
    I suggest others do the same for those around them that use it.

  2. lazerlightbeams says

    I mean, I guess in junior high and somewhat of high school I heard people say that, but does any self respecting grown adult…beyond the age of 18 REALLY still say “thats so gay” I mean that’s pretty pathetic if they do. My straight friends seem to hate that phrase more than I do, and I really resent it.

  3. Myles says

    I remember in highschool when friends said it (agreed, haven’t heard anyone around me even slip up and say it in years) I’d automatically find a trait about them and say “I know, it’s soooo idiotic ditzy cheerleader. yuck!!” and they’d really quickly grasp why it’s stupid, insensitive, and lame to use a phrase like that.

    And you can’t hide behind the “oh, but I didnt mean gay, and you know I have no problems with gays”….FAIL. If you didn’t mean gay, don’t say gay as a negative word. There’s many a thousands of words in the english language to replcae it with and just as easily get your point across.

  4. Scott Johanesen says

    Sorry, I got a zero tolerance policy with that saying ‘that’s so gay’

    Something about it really creates an emotion out of me. I think it’s ugly and the epitome of ignorant, but what I hate worse is when people act all innocent and shocked that some gays could take offense to it. Really clown? Own up to your careless words and ignorance. Just own it.

    Luckily for me, I honestly, truthfully don’t know anyone close to me who says it. And I don’t think thats by accident either.

  5. says

    You can’t seperate “that’s so gay” and being gay. It’s a pejorative saying that’s meant to be offensive toward gay people, or suggest being gay is lame. There’s no two ways around that. There just isn’t. If you really meant to say something was lame, you’d say lame. You said gay specifically because gay is connected with being bad. Just like when you say ‘retarded’ and pretend it’s not meant to be AT ALL associated with mentally handicap individuals, that’s a bold faced lie too. You say retarded because you meant to say stupid. It’s all just ignorant, and unless corrected, just breeds ignorance.

  6. Texan Blues says

    “Eww, stop being so Hispanic. That’s soooo hispanic. Don’t be hispanic. That’s so hispanic”

    ^ Offensive? uneducated sounding? ignorant? So too is substituting the word gay for hispanic in every sentence above. Try it and see how flawed it is to accept this ‘figure of speech’ and how dangerous it is to not educate our friends when they do flippantly say it.

  7. B says

    I honestly, sincerely can’t imagine hanging around with someone who goes around saying thats so gay, meant as a negative, and be able to sleep in my own skin at night. I’d feel like a dang sell out. For real. I mean, I wouldn’t hang out with someone who wasn’t Lebanse and took digs at peeps like me who are from lebanon, so why would I be ok with someone who goes around saying thats so gay, meant as a negative, right next to me: a gay dude. would make no sense.

  8. Amy says

    I agree with one of the posters above. If you hear someone say it, just find a trait about them, be it their hair color, ethnicity, background, religion, and substitute it for gay, and see how they appreciate it. Thats always been a very perfect way of illustrating why many gays and lesbians take issue with that saying.

  9. Miguel says

    Why would any intelligent person say something not only offensive,but incredibly stupid?I’ve witnessed idiots referring to inanimate objects as “gay”.How is a car gay?The next time i hear a moron use this idiotic phrase,i think i might lose it.

  10. jason says

    Young women are often guilty of using this appalling phrase. They use it in a derogatory way. So much for the notion that women are gay-friendly. I, in fact, find that women are amongst the most hostile people around. They fear us because we represent a competitive threat to their ability to pick up men.

    Interestingly, gay guys use the phrase too. Usually it’s the queenie ones who do it. While they’re saying it, a purse usually falls out of their mouths….

  11. cdubois says

    I think words evolve and very few people who say “thats so gay” are thinking derogatory thoughts about gays and lesbians. Just as gay meant happy for years then morphed into a term for same sex attraction, it has now, for a certain segment of the population, morphed into something outside the lgbt community. The problem with eliminating certain word usage is that who gets to decide? The example of “that’s so Hispanic” or any other substitute is flawed logic as is those words have held a very specific definition for 100’s of years unlike the word gay whose usage by the gay community didn’t become prevalent until the late 19th century. Lastly, I find you give people power when you start taking offense

  12. Kyle says

    @CDUBIOS

    Nice try but epic fail. 99.999% of gay people will fight the phrase ‘that’s so gay’ with great passion. We’ll call you bigoted for using a very bigoted phrase. Don’t like it? Hurts you to be called the bigot you are? Awww, thats too bad now. Might wanna think about that next time you spew bigotry and try to decide for others what they can’t be offended at. Nice try though.

  13. Falcon says

    CDUBOIS,

    That was some serious pretencious, psuedo intellectual bull and you were probably cracking up while you wrote it. There’s so many holes and flaws and hypocrisy in what you just wrote that I can’t even believe that you wrote it with a straight face. Again, I’d bet you were cracking up the whole time you wrote that pretencious hog wash. Hog wash decorated with fancy words is still hog wash.

  14. SnowFlake says

    @cdubois

    People like you are so transparent. You go from story to story tellings gays to not take offense to blatant homophobia, why? Because you want us to be complacent toward homophobia. Your ilk would love nothing more than the complacency and indifference of gays toward homophobia. When you homophobes try to pass off your homophobic speech as something that should be accepted and not seen as offensive, that’s when we know you’re getting desperate. Do you really think todays gay community is so weak that we’d accept a disgusting phrase like “thats so gay” as acceptable speech without calling out those who say it? Seriously, you clearly don’t know the very unapologetic and active LGBT community of 2012. We grew a spine a long time ago.

  15. frank says

    Of course those who use this phrase an love using it will attempt to sell you on the idea that it has nothing to do with gays. It has everything to do with gays and for me, the comment ‘thats so gay’ is single handedly the most homophobic saying by monsters in society. I agree with others. Zero tolerance policy, and if I hear it, be prepared to hear my freedom of speech and thoughts about it.

  16. Paul R says

    @CDUBIOS: I’m pretty much on your side. One of my brothers, who is also one of my best friends, says this kind of thing a lot. But his wife is named Gracia and he calls her Gay as a term of endearment. He’s gone to tons of gay bars with me (way more than straight bars, as did his girlfriends 15 years ago). He’s messed around with men. Some people just don’t watch their language carefully and are of an age where the semantics of certain terms and phrases have lost meaning.

    Do I like it? Of course not. Do I let people’s use of poor language affect my life? Absolutely not.

  17. Jeannie says

    That the ignorant phrase -thats so gay- could even attempt to be falsely justified as anything but homophobic shows you perfectly what kind of homophobic society we live in.

    Thankfully, most educated people don’t use it. And I agree with others, I honestly don’t hear a single soul outside weird teenagers say it.

    But make no mistakes about it. It’s a gay slur, derived from an anti gay intent. To even suggest otherwise is both laughable and disturbing. To believe it is the epitome of homophobia.

  18. Awardgoldenist says

    I’m not even going to address the clown who’s trying to justify this phrase. And then claim that substituting other demographics in place of gay isn’t appropriate. Educate yourself you foolish clown. There’s been many a derogatory phrases aimed at other demographics in decades past that have been now shunned by society. Very similar to “thats so gay” they too made a pejorative of another community all while arguing “oh, we dont mean To offend you Indians/blacks/latinos, it’s just a figure of speech”
    Speech does change. It changes for the more tolerant when the group most discriminated in society demands the shunning of derogatory speech aimed at their people. Yesterday it was the commonly used anti black phrases, native american phrases or jewish phrases. Those are shunned today because said groups took a stand, challenged and educated. Same is happening and will continue to happen with the GLBT community and usage of phrases like ‘that’s so gay’
    If that bothers you, that’s not the gay communities responsibility. Go inward and do some soul searching and ask yourself why discontinuing using an ignorant @$$ phrase that cuts and offends so many being discouraged from being used upsets you so much. If you can’t live with not saying ‘that’s so gay’ you desered to be called out for the bigot you are.

  19. Gratit Gracious Pete says

    Anyone who defends these terms is contributing to societal homophobia, some without realizing, some realizing so but being too lazy to do or say otherwise. But it all boils down to homophobia, and that we live in a society where the feelings and respect for gay people is directed as silly and “they need to get over it” (mind you, we’re the ONLY group who is told this) just reaffirms how deep rooted homophobia is in our society.

  20. Troudes says

    @ Paul R

    That’s really a shame. Shame on your lack of commitment for many reasons. Do you realize you’re inadvertently excusing homophobic phrases by not caring enough? Did you bother reading the study above? seeing how this phrase HURTS young gay children and even grown gays who endure enough legislative discrimination as it is. To have a commonly accepted phrase like this just heightens more disdain. How you couldn’t connect the dots is mind boggling, and speaks volumes on your (lack of) character. That may be harsh, but so too is having a brother knowingly make slurs (yes SLURS) at gay people and saying you essentially couldn’t care less to make him see differently because he goes to a gay bar with you. Wow. Just….wow.

  21. Homo Genius says

    The first thing is that no one says this anymore… the trend came and gone. I mean its really over the hill as memes go

    But my most important point is, I picked it up from the gays. Gays were using this long before high school kids in Ohio. It wasnt until years later when Celebrities in California got all uppity that anyone even questioned it.

    It was also fun to use it as a “dozens” game. Thats so gay. That Liberace gay. Thats richards simmon on viagra in a bathhouse gay. Thats Marcus Buchanan gay.

  22. Cali Greg says

    Paul R,
    That’s lovely that your brother goes to a gay party or hangs out with gay people, but that still doesn’t excuse a prejudice driven statement he makes that is not appreciated by most gay people, and most directly affects gay people. How? It intentionally states gay as a pejorative. And you really can slice it however which way you want, saying That’s so gay as an insult IS offensive to gay people. That you can’t recognize that, or choose not to, is fine. But to tell other gays to not be offended is where you’re being sadly idealistic. We have every right to be offended and reactionary toward speech that directly takes aim at us. If it didn’t. it wouldn’t have gay in it. He’d be able to perfectly make his point, or joke, or comment without the need to drag gays, which that phrase does, in his sophmoric speech. When you do, you open yourself up to criticism.

  23. cdubois says

    I can count on my one hand how many times I’ve commented on a towleroad article, so I would hardly consider that trolling. After today I doubt ill make this mistake again LOL! Further, almost every argument against my opinion includes name calling and a childish unwillingness to look at view antithetical to your own. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything, especially not on a message board. Just putting another point of view out there. Bottom line is this, name calling, sarcasm and rudeness aren’t a substitute for reasoned argument. No one should be called a name just because they hold a view different than your own, that’s the fastest way to make yourself look silly while further illustrating you lack of reasoned logic.

  24. Proud Nerd 81 says

    In a climate where gays are being fired for being gay, their civil unions are being stripped of them in some states, where they are the most targetted hate crime group, and our gay youth are killing themselves left, right & center, I genuinely don’t see how any rational, logical, compassionate soul could justify the usage of this phrase. That GAY people would condone their friends or brothers using it just validates a point many have reiterated. In order for our equality to truly progress, first comes respect. People have to RESPECT us. What kind of foundation are we setting for our next generation when we have members of the gay community encouraging the usage of those kids using terms like “thats so gay” in negative manners? How do you ever expect some of them to grow up and not associate gay with a negative connotation?
    I mean these are basic logical fundementals that don’t require massive critical thinking.
    We set the example.

  25. says

    Paul R,
    Your writing, and how flippant you treat this, amidst the battle cries of many on here with heartfelt personal ties to this phrase, remind me of the kind of gays in school who were bystandards to bullying, so long as the bully sat next to them in the lunch table and they felt like they were accepted, they really couldn’t care less about the emotions of anyone else. You may have acceptance by your brother, and that may be all you’re concerned about, but for the vulnerable gay youngin’ who may face enough ridicule in his daily existence, who happens to overhear your brother make one of his gay digs that you say he uses often; that child could get hurt by that. Emotional by it. Or yes, even offended. He doesn’t have the luxury of knowing your brother, but he did have a glimpse in your brothers lack of consideration.

    That could all simply be avoided if your brother would take the very effortless task of considering the thoughts of others. Ofcourse you’re rebuttal will be, well those anti gay words don’t offend you, so if they don’t offend you then why should they offend anyone else. And that’s where we run into trouble. When we tell an entire segment of population, who is already persecuted enough, to turn off their emotions completely and not react, or adopt YOUR very same reaction to all things that concern them, then you’re really creating a space where you are attempting to tap into people’s emotions and dictate how they should feel about very raw subject matters that inherently affect them. That’s not realistic. But having a quality conversation with your brother explaining the ramifications of that phrase is realistic. But again, that would require you caring for more than just how he treats you.

  26. says

    @CDBUOIS

    But my friend, the very thing you perceived as name calling directed toward you which you take offense with, is the very thing you yourself are doing by defending phrases like that’s so gay. For many gays, that’s phrase in and of itself is hurtful and insulting too. You boldly told gay people that they don’t have any justifiable reasoning in having an emotional attachment to a phrase many of them have been hurt by, or have a long negative history of hearing. You, in a rather dismissive way, gave them the cold shoulder on hearing them out and their hurt behind this phrase. You also tried to sell them on the idea that the homophobic people in their surroundings who used this phrase were not at all coming from a homophobic head space, and that this phrase that seems to deeply resonate and hurt said gay people, is something these gay people just need to accept and get over.
    Then in a most ironic fashion, you respond by calling foul because you felt personally insulted by the response you got. In a most respectful manner, how could you not recognize the blatant hypocrisy in your own actions with your own two posts above?

  27. Nike-Kid says

    CDUBOIS…
    Huh? ur sitting here telling gays to not be insulted by insulting speech and basically we just gotta accept “that’s so gay” as a way of speaking, but then you call others out on not respecting you? wait, how come your emotions trump others? you basically perfectly just represented the camp that uses this phrase. they really couldn’t give two rat ish about others feelings, but they themselves will grab a whistle and call foul if they feel disrespected. you couldn’t even practice what you preach for five minutes on here dude. but most peeps who go around saying “that’s so gay” usually don’t. so I’m not surprised.

  28. Jim says

    Honestly? growing up the kids who did bully me DID use this phrase all the time. In my life, those who have been most hateful and bullied me used it without any care. Which isn’t surprising. I mean, someone who uses this phrase knows what they are saying. they knowww a gay person nearby can hear it and can be hurt by it, and they couldn’t care. so it’s not surprising in my life that those who showed compassion for me have never used this phrase, and those who really don’t give a sht about gays used it with pride. I don’t think it’s cool to say, because I know too many people who are effected by it and have been in the past, myself being one of them.
    you try being raised in an environement where everyone says you’ll burn in hell for being gay, and then you have to constantly hear your peers reffer to horrible things as gay. not right.

  29. Deteor says

    We wouldn’t tolerate this speech or phrase or even mentality of carelessness to the feelings of other minority groups. I mean, I can’t imagine any other demographic where a phrase similar to this would be accepted.

    And the idea that gays need to play stupid and pretend it has nothing to do with them. I mean really now, THAT is even more insulting than the phrase. It has everything to do with gay. gay being lame, being gay = bad, and it always will and that’s exactly where the saying stemmed from. Thankfully, it’s not a popular phrase anymore. But to even pretend it’s anything but a foolish, ignorant, and homophobic thing to say is to basically request people to turn off their brain cells and play stupid.

  30. Duration & Convexity says

    It’s always been amusing to me hearing people defend this phrase or those who use it. I always find myself chuckling, because they are usually such elaborate, whimsical, creations that almost rewrite the entire phrase, and you’d think the actual phrase was “that’s so amazing and gay”

    I mean really now. Just say what it is and keep it real. It’s a phrase that itself, in a most literal way, suggests being gay is undesirable. And those who use it really couldn’t care how the phrase affects gays who hear it. Some may actually get enjoyment of the annoyance it causes gays, and again, they couldn’t care less. No need for fancy novels, and fabrications. And no need to pee on the collective LGBT leg and say it’s a rainy day outside.

  31. cdubois says

    @Charles Jalensky Very eloquent and persuasive! However I don’t view it as hypocrisy. Calling someone an idiot or clown directly is different than hearing a stranger say “that new Adam Sandler movie is gay.” One is a direct insult while the other is a PERCEIVED insult based on the point of view of the listener. Without knowing EXACTLY what the thought process is of the speaker how can we assume he or she has negative feelings towards gays? I understand the phrase is offensive to some and I think if someone’s words offend, you should by all means educate them in a respectful, well-reasoned manner. My trouble lies with the assumption that every person who says this has derogatory or negative intentions towards me.

    @Nike-kid My feelings certainly aren’t hurt by anonymous posters. I would also like to point out that I am not attacking anyone or calling them dumb for their thoughts, just giving an alternative point of view. There is a HUGE difference! I just wish the level of discourse on message boards was elevated. A place where everyone could give an opinion without being PERSONALLY attacked. We are gay, we’re better and smarter than that :)

  32. Sam says

    Right up there with ‘no homo’. One of my friends uses that phrase and it definitely annoys me.

    There are lots of straight guys that are very insecure with their sexuality. The fact that you can’t even acknowledge when a guy is good looking is sad.

  33. Sam says

    Right up there with ‘no homo’. One of my friends uses that phrase and it definitely annoys me.

    There are lots of straight guys that are very insecure with their sexuality. The fact that you can’t even acknowledge when a guy is good looking is sad.

  34. cdubois says

    just a thought… what if we as a community flipped it around? Let’s start using it in a positive context! “That new Audi R8 is so gay!” or “I love your shirt, it’s so gay!” or “girrrl, who did your hair, totally gay!” LOL I think that would go a long way to satisfy everyone! : ) Just trying to bring some much needed levity to the convo! But seriously, I love you guys and I hope I haven’t offended anyone. Just putting thoughts out there!

  35. Paul R says

    The simplistic assessments of my intellectual capacity make me laugh. Here’s a hint: words aren’t what hurt people. Violence hurts people. If someone threatens you, fight back. I don’t give a damn about what people think or say about me. I came out almost 30 years ago, when I was 12. I’ve fought plenty of battles. Why would I consider “gay” an insult? It reflects on the speaker, not me.

  36. Just_a_guy says

    @C.dub: Paul’s right in that ur use of gay that way or “that’s so gay” that way makes YOU look bad. And most people would never tell you that to your face; they’ll just silently judge you for your bigotry. If its not a situation where I can realistically call u on it, you better bet I have judged you as a bigot; your loss I guess.

  37. Brian says

    I just told my straight friends that their fantasy football league is totally gay, they found it funny and so did I.

  38. cdubois says

    @just a guy. Um… I dont recall saying I use the phrase. Look at my comments. The core of my argument is that when you assume you know peoples intention you can end up writing them off without just cause. judgement is for God, by judging me without fully knowing my point of view or aim its really you who is losing because you are marginalizing people based on isolated aspects of their speach rather than their full being

  39. Joles says

    Any grown adult who uses this phrase is chemically imbalnced and trying to fight their age. it’s ignorant speech and deserves to be called exactly what it is

  40. C.C says

    no excuse for saying that’s so gay.. If you know it has the potential to be divisive, why say it? to be a tool? well, then dont get mad when others call you a homophobic tool for your chosen antics

  41. Majaflom says

    Ironic that the 2014 Gay Games in Cleveland have adopted “That’s So Gay………….Games” as their slogan. Hopefully, somebody in Marketing will read this study.

  42. GregV says

    “Why would I consider “gay” an insult?

    @Paul R: It depends on the context and tone. If a friend, for example, points at two community center buildings and says “That one is Jewish and that one is gay,” I would hope they are redering to the respective focus of the teo centers’ outreach programs. If neither building has anything to do with Jewish or gay people and what they meant that the former is “greedy” and the latter is “ugly” then of course they are attaching offensive connotations to the words they use.

  43. says

    So “that’s so gay” isn’t really homophobic.
    And “white trash” isn’t racist.
    And “Jewing somebody down” isn’t anti-Semitic.

    I suppose I’m not really amazed at all that people who are supposedly gay are willing to collaborate in their own oppression. That’s the way privilege and hegemony works.

    It’s still sickening.

  44. Francis says

    The whole that’s so gay/no homo phrase has died down the last couple of years, luckily. I think it’s because although some people may still use it, most recognize the term is completely immature and ignorant. Especially given the phrase is almost always used in a negative fashion. I can handle the phrase that’s so gay used in jest. But it’s rarely used that way. It’s used in a way to indicate something is bad/distasteful/negative. The reason for that is homophobia, pure and simple, so anyone here saying this isn’t a big deal needs a reality check. Homophobia is homophobia. And especially when the homophobia is this blatant, there are no excuses.

    The fact many straights will say “get over it” “stop being so oversensitive” or “it’s just words” shows the lack of respect many of them have towards non-heterosexuals. If you know this phrase causes offense to many, gay and straight, that alone should be enough to prevent one from using it. Straight who go OUT OF THEIR WAY to defend and use this term are disgusting. Gay people who do so, in my eyes, are simply desensitized.

    Cdubois, using the word gay as in “this movie is gay” when there is no gay content whatsoever in the movie, is using gay as a means to label something negatively. The person using the term can be oblivious to that but it doesn’t change the fact that, yes, it is an offensive phrase. Hell, the fact many straight people realize it’s offensive should be enough for us.

    I hear this phrase a little bit, not too much. What’s interesting is that it’s actually people in the 16-28 age group, there or there about, who get the most offended regarding this phrase. I see A LOT of straights and gays over 30 defending this term.

  45. andrew says

    Lgbt youth today have so many outstanding LGBT role models in so many different fields that these silly little slogans should have less and less impact I don’t want to see our youth live as victims. We need to teach them to physically, intellectually and spiritually kick homophobic a$$. Be assertive, out and proud as soon as possible and that is usually sooner than many individuals think.

  46. says

    Cdbuois- and Paul R
    Your asses would be the first to go livid if someone used anti racial slurs. So dont even play. Paul r, your brothers wife named Gracia wouldnt appreciate someone using terms like sp-c around her, an he’d be offended if that word were uttered in her presence, thinking less of the person who said it, and dont you ever tell the gay community what we are allowed to find insulting or flattering. In ur little mind, you simply convince yourself homophobia is acceptable. Dont be surprised when we dont agre

  47. ConfettiJackson says

    You know what homophobia looks like? When people use HOMOPHOBIC sayings like “that’s so gay” then demand you
    A.) Not react to it
    B.) Not judge the character of those who say it
    C.) Pretend it’s not homophobic

    That’s the face of the new homophobia. Get YOU to be ignorant, blinded and even accepting of it.

  48. Ruben says

    I’m glad people are rejecting the use of ridiculous and heartless phrases like this directed toward the LGBT community. That soul and spirit is exactly what we need. Where we request respect, because rights only come after respect and guess what, there is zero respect behind the statement ‘thats gay’ in a negative context. None

  49. millerbeach says

    I had a student use that phrase in my presence a few years ago. I called her out on it, in front of all the students in the class. She began to cry. I stopped right there and said, “With those tears, now you know how I feel”. You could have heard a pin drop in that classroom. I doubt she ever used that word in that context ever again. I pray I changed a few minds that day.

  50. Paul R says

    Can I clarify that I’m not advocating or even condoning the use of this term? I’m simply noting that decent people sometimes slip up and say stupid things.

    I’m probably the most P.C. person I know. It annoys people. I’m also a writer and editor, and know that good people sometimes slip up. For the record, I contacted my brother about this today, and he apologized and vowed never to say this again. And for the record, previous poster, my sister-in-law Gracia isn’t remotely Hispanic.

    It’s an absurdity to claim that I’m embracing homophobia. Next you’ll all be claiming that I vote Republican. And again: calling someone or something gay is far different than using a racial slur.

  51. says

    How is it that guns, knives and fighting have zero tollerance rules and hateful words are disregarded? These words that are being allowed to slip by are leathal. They cause depression, drug use and in some cases death. Children should feel protected in their learning environment. There needs to be a zero hate policy in place.

    Shirts Out Loud dedicates themselves to help fighting ignorance and hate through education. Support our cause in colaberation with this post and wear our That’s So Gay T-shirt. If we wear enough shirts soon the message will get across clear. ‘That’s so gay’ is offensive!

  52. R Kelly says

    Tell you what, I’ll stop using the phrase when you can tell me the entire history of the term “gay”

    If you take offense to the word, used in an entirely different context that of what I am using it in, then I will explain my stance, and if you persist, I will calmly tell you to go cry somewhere else.

    I’ll give you a hint, the original definition of gay was a negative thing. It had nothing to do with sex.