Comments

  1. Girl Please says

    So they eschew the gay past that makes their magazine possible today and, more laughable, try to do so with a promo spot featuring the tweezed and polished, ‘flawless,’ young, mostly white boys that they are snubbing? Ridiculous.

  2. yonkersconquers says

    I get what they’re trying to do but ‘gay’ isn’t a ‘brand’ and this comes off as insufferably pretentious and elitist.

    Can’t they just say we’re against tackiness in all its blatant forms or summat? It’d be easier and less fraught.

  3. says

    yeah. let’s move away from all those grassroots activists and advocates and people who’ve fought tooth-and-nail to advance our culture to a place where we can get miseryguts homosexuals who don’t appreciate the hard work that had to be done for them to be the intentionally-disaffected lazybones that they are today.

    *massive eye-roll*

    LOOK. I don’t need abs. But this whole thing smacks of gay apologetics.

    What, pray tell, is inherently harmful about the rainbow iconography? nothing – except it’s “identifiably gay/queer” and that upsets those who still live each day in fear of Bigoted Straight People’s Meaningless Opinions.

    Yes – it’d be great for there to be (more) gay publications that aren’t white-worshipping muscle-obsessed nonsense.

    But this project reeks of it’s own half-baked self-importance.

    What is it? A magazine for gay men who refuse to address and then reconcile their own insecurities about being gay?

    i like the idea that this mag will, thank GOD, include some ethnic diversity, but their own mission-statement is a lie: just because we didn’t SEE abs doesn’t mean this didn’t still project a very specific BODY IMAGE – did y’all see anyone in that vid who looked like they DIDN’T have abs hiding underneath their layers of stylishly-sloppy clothes?

    gurrrrl, this is a university thesis that would get a B- at best.

  4. says

    “hey, you know how, like, other gays are all about abs and being vain? well, so are we. only we have a different wardrobe. but we’re so different. we hide our abs under a shirt that cost 120.00, but looks like it should have cost 5.00. and, like, we have edgy hipster haircuts, because no gay people in the alternative queer scene have ever done that before. we’re brand new. also, we hate rainbows. and you can tell that that makes us cool because the absence of rainbows in our lives makes us look so hip while we SULK around our stylishly empty apartments.”

  5. Paul R says

    I’m glad that we all seem to agree. That was a ridiculous ad for a supposedly non-looks-based magazine. Nearly everyone looked like a model. (Don’t get me wrong, not all models are evil.) Also a stupid name for a magazine.

  6. says

    does anyone else think this whole thing is by, and for, those guys who say “i’m a dude who’s into other dudes” because they’re not, frankly, man enough to just say GAY?

    and if their demographic is any indication, they won’t read the publication. because they’re not all about being gay.

    which includes not being all about things that are not all about being gay.

    oh lordy.

  7. Matt26 says

    I read all kinds of different newspapers, magazines, watch all kinds of tv channels and read all kinds of books. I like gay magazines with handsome, fresh looking guy with big smile and abs.

  8. B says

    I do have a problem with Out, Attitude, the Advocate, etc. they are way off base with this one. What, exactly, is wrong with a rainbow flag? They couldn’t even bear to say the word gay in their video either? No thanks. I prefer BUTT.

  9. UFFDA says

    Hey come on whiners. Every little bit helps. This isn’t going to hurt anyone. If it’s still too white or stereotypic, or ab conscious for you, start your own publication. Name it “Gay Flab”, whatever you want, just get out of the way until you do.

  10. says

    well, that’s the thing “justme” – if your source of identity is a negative one, and by negative i mean the “i’m not like those _______” types of mindset, you’re already setting yourself up for failure.

    this reminds me of something i was told by a teach in media class back in highschool: “Marilyn Manson is just a Backstreet Boy with a higher make-up budget and a darker colour palette”

    you can’t be against everything and then not specifically FOR something, or anything.

    and the other reality is that those who distance themselves from “gay culture” won’t ever embrace anything that then becomes associated WITH “gay culture”

    you can only be a contrarian for so long, then the things you’ve adopted get co-opted by others and you spend a few years being the typical “I like that before it was cool”-spouting fella, and then eventually you’ll have to either find something else, or stop caring what others think about you, your life, your lifestyle and your chosen communities.

  11. JustMe says

    Actually, although the little video seems way off base, the basic idea is sound. There are a very very large number of gay men who arent interested in going to pride, or sleaze pit clubs full of cheesy pop and drag queens. It doesnt make them less ‘gay’ or afraid. The term ‘gay’ has alienated a lot of these men, not because of internalised homophobia, but because its associated with the louder and more crass side of things. The simply dont identity with it. Frankly its the fault of the media.

    In the same way there are a lot of straight men who dont like football and going out to try and pull some half dressed slapper.

    Of course I expect to be shot down by certain people on here who think anyone not screaming about their homosexuality every ten seconds must be afraid or homophobic..

  12. JustMe says

    Not everyone who isnt ‘one of those..’ (as you put it), hates ‘those’ sort of guys. They just arent one and the problem is there isnt much out there for them.

    All the mags and blogs etc that they identify with are full of overt heterosexuality. Where are the sports mags or technology mags that arent full of females?
    Ive read a lot of gay mags over the years and the sports sections are poor and the tech sections are full of ‘fashion’ technology, not real geeky tech.

  13. mick says

    I think “Hello Mr.” seems a little off the mark considering the guys in the video. “Hello Boy” or “Hello Skinny White Boy” might be more accurate.

  14. says

    I’ll have to disagree, JustMe – the only one bringing up the “less gay” non-argument is THEM.

    “i’m not all about pop music and drag queens”, say the gay men who, frankly, don’t know what the heck they’re talking about.

    it’s like i said before, it’s their own idea of gay that they reject. not a cultural one. it’s their IDEA of it.

    in trying to make your point, you’ve actually reinforced mine. so, thanks?

    yes. they don’t want to be “gay” – that’s my point. rather than reconcile their insecurities, and get over them, they hide in them and seek further divisions. the “negative” i was talking about – they’re “not _______”, at the expense of actually Being Something. Or Someone.

    They have an “I’m not ____” Identity. Apologetics.

    as for your straight man analogy, you show me a straight man who insecurely spends his time telling everyone that he’s “not like those other straight guys” and i’ll show you a unicorn.

    you’re not being shot down for the reasons you thought you’d be. your argument is being shot down because it’s half-baked, decidedly unintelligent, and faulty.

    it’s not the media’s fault that they don’t identify with “gay” – it’s their own for choosing to blame Other Gay People for your own insecurities. And you are insecure. Your entire last post was Gay Insecurities Projected 101.

    there’s so much diversity in the gay communities that people can relate to. and the reason they’re not seeing it is not because “the media” doesn’t represent it, but that the cowards who say that nonsense give every excuse in the book to NOT stand up and represent themselves.

    rather that do that, they instead say “i can’t because those OTHER GAYS are too loud!”

    grow. a. pair.

    i don’t go to pop-music clubs and can’t remember the last time i caught a drag act. and yet i’m very much a gay man, and very much a part of our diverse communities.

    you can’t sit with your balls in the closet and complain that “your kind of gay” isn’t being represented. get your boys together and represent yourselves, for once.

    fat chance though.

  15. Hugh says

    Like a lot of you, I like saying something sassy and witty on the comments section. But come on, it’s not like anyone will remember this in a couple of days.
    Save yourself the effort it takes to fake some righteous indignation. Judging by how ridiculous it looks, riling you up is probably part of their plan.

  16. Derrick from Philly says

    “There are a very very large number of gay men who arent interested in going to pride, or sleaze pit clubs full of cheesy pop and drag queens. It doesnt make them less ‘gay’ or afraid. The term ‘gay’ has alienated a lot of these men….”

    Well, that’s ok, Justme. The problem arises when these Gay men who are not into “Gay stuff” show contempt for those of us who are. It becomes so easy for them to become judgemental–sometimes to the level of Gay-bashing.

    In your visits to this blog have you ever come across something called Rick?

  17. JustMe says

    I agree this seems a bit hipsterish. The guys that really need something to read are the average types, who are just average men, who do average things, but sleep with men, not women, and as such dont want the heterosexual spin that everything revolves around women.

    Honestly i think mags like Attitude and The Advocate ARE hipster already! If this new mags intention is to move away from them, then that video is completely unrepresentative.

  18. Francis says

    Kiwi is 100% right as usual. At the end of the day, if you intentionally seek to create distinction and divide as this magazine seeks to do, then you are at the end of the day separating yourself from the gay community. You don’t have to represent all facets of the community to be apart of it but this rebellious attitude of “Oh, I’m not like them” mentality is most definitely an unhealthy one. You’re declaring yourself as superior inherently and thus calling everyone else inferior.

    In fact, if you click the kickstarter page, the specifically state their magazine is directed to “men who date other men.” That says enough. This is not about being an individual, or representing a different part of the gay community. It’s not really even about looking for a different outlet that shares your feelings in terms of your sexuality, life interests and how you live as a gay man.

    No, it’s a rejection of the gay community. You can reject the gay community boys, but you’re still gay. They won’t even call themselves that, instead “men who date men”, but their damage doesn’t change reality.

  19. says

    so…they don’t want a heterosexual spin, but they don’t want a homosexual one, either?

    this is my point. these boys don’t know what they want. they only know what they don’t want.

    i stopped that nonsense when i was 17. i encourage anyone else to follow suit. life’s so much more enjoyable when you’re not giving excuses to avoid joining the human race.

  20. JustMe says

    Ok i think some of you are being rather aggressive about this and are yourselves being negative. Ita almost like you think you have gay right, and everyone else is ‘wrong’.

    Im an average guy, but i dont ‘hate’ the more flamboyant side of gay culture, and I dont believe most average gay guys do. We arent all ‘Rick’ (yes i have seen his posts). I like teh popular image of gay culture, but im not ‘it’ and im not attracted to it.

  21. atomic says

    I’ve never felt included in any subculture, especially gay subculture. And frankly, at this point in my life, I no longer see any reason to be. I’ve never felt like any particular group “spoke” to me or faithfully represented my identity.

    And through it all, I have never felt motivated to be different, or to set myself apart from others. I am who I am not because I feel the need to be trendy or exclusive, but because that’s just how my life has played itself out.

    I don’t begrudge these other gays their sense of mutual inclusion. I don’t demand that they NOT create their own societal niches. If they want to perpetuate a certain standard of appearance, style, status, iconography, and behavior, fine. But what DOES irritate me is how each group after the other does so while breathlessly proclaiming to be the voice of those who are not represented. First was the white, athletically-built gays. Then the bears (again, white) did it. Now the hipster gays are doing it.

    I find this sort of compartmentalization incredibly stupid, vain, hypocritical, and self-serving. It all reeks of the same image-consciousness, just with different images as the “ideal.”

  22. says

    Francis, i could BLOW you for that :)

    Yes. They can’t even say Gay. Until the insecure men who refuse to say it get over their issues and EMBRACE it, they will continue their own self-imposed Exile from the Great Kingdom of Gays.

    we’re not stopping them from entering. their insecurities are stopping them.

  23. JustMe says

    LittleKiwi, this is the problem, what is a homosexual spin according to you??

    To me its just that you replace the females with other men, nothing else is implied.

  24. says

    actually, JustMe, by your own words THEY are the ones who are “not gay enough” – because they (you?) refuse to identify as gay.

    we’re not saying “you’re not gay enough for not liking _______”

    THEY are saying “we don’t like _____, so we’re not gay. we’re just average dudes who like other dudes”

    i stopped saying that cowardly nonsense when i was a teenager.

  25. JustMe says

    Im more than happy to call myself gay, but like it or not gay doesn’t just mean homosexual to most people. The problem isnt really us, its other people who assume that means something that it need not.

    Ive been called a ‘crap’ gay because im not into fashion and cant give make-up tips. It doesnt make me hate those that are like that. Rather than attacking us, maybe you should educate the heteros that think we should. I certainly do.

  26. says

    …so, you, JustMe, need to read a magazine that has nothing “gay” in it, but in the place where there’d be female models there will instead be male ones?

    that sounds incredibly stupid.

    if you can’t say GAY then you need to work on it. nobody in the “gay” communities is distancing themselves from you. you’re distancing themselves from them, due to a refusal to check your baggage at the closet door.

    as long as the “i’m not like those gays” gays refuse to identify as gay, their hoped-for seismic shift in the world will never come.

    gay and proud folks aint gonna slink away into the darkness. so either come join us in the sun, or spend another few years complaining about it miserably, and anonymously, on the internet.

  27. says

    or, gays like you could take the advice i took, and the lesson i learned as a teenager: Stop Caring What Straight Idiots Think.

    seriously.

    you show me an “i’m not like those gays” homosexual and i’ll show you a boy who’s still looking over his shoulder every bloody day.

    i’m not particularly into fashion nor could i apply makeup to save my life. and yet, nobody has said i’m not gay enough. and if they did, i don’t think i’d care. i stopped living my life by other’s limitations a long long time ago, buddyboy.

    but you’re wrong – the problem isn’t that “other people think gay means ________”, it’s that insecure gay men care way too much about what those people think.

    take a lesson from the outcasts of society, boys. learn not to give a f**k.

    a gay magazine that’s not all about being gay.

    what is this, GOProud Monthly?

  28. says

    just to be as clear as possible:

    “men who date men”

    “multicolored flags waving in pride”

    text.book.

    this isn’t about being yourself. this is entirely about living in fear of what Straight Bigots Think About Gay People.

    and unless someone can, for once, intelligently articulate with specifics what is inherently harmful about Rainbow iconography then there’s no way around that.

    why do some gays hate the rainbow? because it’s “f@ggy” – or something. something the straight @ssholes in your life said, that you swallowed whole, and regurgitated. it’s like every intelligent poster has correctly called-out: this isn’t about expanding diversity, it’s about closing more doors, out of insecurity.

  29. JustMe says

    ‘…so, you, JustMe, need to read a magazine that has nothing “gay” in it, but in the place where there’d be female models there will instead be male ones?

    that sounds incredibly stupid.’

    Why does it? Your refusal to believe that there are well adjusted gay guys like that out there is stupid. Actually a mag like that would contain ‘gay’ things, the things being men who like other men, thats gay if you hadnt noticed..

    You keep saying that we are being divisive, but thats exactly what you are doing as well. You seem to have a chip on your shoulder about it and as such have no sense of balanced perspective.

  30. says

    you sound like you’re describing a porno mag, JustMe. no “gay culture”, just “men who like other men” uh….what? ok. wow. sure.

    and i don’t believe there are well-adjusted “gays like that” because well-adjusted gay men don’t base their sense of identity of self-worth on What Straight People Are Thinking Of Them.

    i don’t have the chip on my shoulder. my gay @ss has been Out and proud since highschool :)

    i can’t be being divisive because i’m actually not telling anyone how to be. they’re telling themselves, and others, that they’re “different” somehow. they’re not.

    the gays who don’t identify as gay are more than welcome to join us in the real world. alas, as homo genius (HA!) has just proven, it seems some grown men never got over their crippling fear of rainbows 😉

  31. Francis says

    There are zero well-adjusted gay men who actually refuse to identify as gay. In fact, just typing that, it’s an obvious oxymoron. If you’re well-adjusted as a gay man then why run away from saying you’re gay? Please.

    Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn’t add this………loving the BJ reference directed to me Kiwi :)

  32. JustMe says

    LittleKiwi you ARE telling me how to be. I have already said i dont hate any gay culture, but you are telling me I must ‘be’ it, whatever ‘it’ is (you havent defined ‘it’ yet). I am fairly average, but im not trying to fit in and i dont care what anyone thinks. You seem to think that any gay man that isnt displaying his ‘gayness’ 24/7 is deliberately hiding it. Why do you think that? Are you saying that its not possible to be a happy gay guy that is just average? Remember ‘average’ means in the middle, its not camp as christmas, or fake macho idiot.

  33. JustMe says

    Remember LittleKiwi, im not defending this mag, the more I read about it, the more I dislike it. The problem i have wit hyou is tht you dont seem to understand the diffeence between ‘anti’ (which this mag seems to be) and ‘not into’.

  34. says

    JustMe, DUDE, breathe and see with clarity – the gays with the chip on their shoulder are the gays who are verbally reinforcing a lie, to themselves and others, that they’re “not like those other gays”

    well-adjusted gay people don’t pay any heed to what some idiot thinks “gay” means, nor do they base their sense of identity on “not being” something to someone.

  35. I like the idea says

    Being gay is not just a life — it’s a lifestyle. It’s about time there’s a magazine showing gay men how to be gay and have lifestyle goals to aspire to.

    Rainbows are so overdone.

    We have arrived. Being gay is not just a journey, it’s a destination.

    (This mag will help you get there, Little Kiwi.)

  36. Not that Rob says

    @justme

    Average to what. Heteronormative standards? Guess what you’re gay which automatically makes you not average no matter how you act because the “average” person would be about 90% Herero.

  37. says

    actually, i’ve not told you how to be. if you insist i have feel free to copy and paste it 😀

    i’ve never once said what you claim i have. why? because i don’t believe.

    i also, as an openly gay and unafraid individual, know that there’s actually no such thing as “broadcasting your gayness” -that’s a meaningless buzz-term made up by gay cowards and repeated by their fellow closet-dwellers.

    of course it’s possible to be a happy gay person who is “average” (mediocre? unexceptional? boring?)

    you’ll know the happily-average people by their refusal to complain non-average gays and perceptions of gay. because they’re happy being average.

    i’m neither camp as christmas nor uber-macho. but i’m the furthest thing from average.

    i dunno. click my name, see my link.

    if you’re advocating for a gay magazine for those gay men who don’t have appreciations for the camp aesthetic (or wit, while we’re at it) then sure, i’m sure there’s a need. even boring people deserve reading materials! :)

  38. JustMe says

    Sorry, but you really do have issues LittleKiwi, you just seem to be reading whatever you want to into my posts because your responses to them do not make any sense.

  39. Markt says

    I side with JustMe over LittleKiwi on this. LittleKiwi in this tirade you appear to be nothing more than Rick inside out. Although you are clearly bright and I often agree with you, you are putting words in JustMe’s mouth so that you can screech in a self-righteous and sanctimonious manner.
    I also have never felt like I fit in with gay society despite being drawn to it. Of course I never felt like I fit in anywhere. At this point, except for a few important friends, I avoid gay society. Most of my time is spent with straight couples now. Most gays are becoming more like straights anyway. So what is this society except an interest in the one common denominator which is sex.

  40. JustMe says

    You tell me, you are asking that I do it otherwise im somehow a coward or hiding! Funnily enough ive been out for 23 years since I was 15, I suspect the only difference is that I have to actually tell people.

    People like you are a dime a dozen, being out is more important than being gay, you have lost perspective. Its all over your blog, all over your posts.

  41. says

    uh…JustMe, that’s the pot calling the kettle sparkling pink.

    i’ve not told you how to be. “gay” or otherwise.

    what, specifically, is “displaying gayness 24/7″? i have no idea what that means.

    is that like when someone says “i don’t need to tell people that i’m gay, and that doesn’t mean i’m ashamed of it”? 😉

    oh, and hey “I Like The Idea” – please share the URL to your own page so i can see what a truly empowered homosexual looks like.
    😉

    as for MarkT, what specifically is Gay Society?

    is it the bars in Chelsea, with are markedly different from the bars in the East Village, which are markedly different from the bars in Williamsburg, which themselves are different from the bars in the West Village and Harlem? is it social groups? if so, which ones? sports clubs? film clubs? book groups? pockets of friends who expand their spheres into different social and domestic hang-outs?

    you avoid “gay society” – wow. that’s healthy 😉

    now, articulate that with specifics. what are you specifically talking about? there’s more to gay society than bars and clubs. every gay man who lives in the real world knows this.

    i’ve not put words in JustMe’s mouth. He’s put ’em in mine. Namely, by insisting that i’m telling him to “be” something, which i’ve not done. if you feel i have, please copy and paste it.

    clarity, always 😉

    ok, so you never felt like you fit in anywhere, and that includes gay society. wow. good for you!

    does that mean that everyone else is the problem, and not you, since you can’t seem to find Your Place?

    that you, by your own words, are intentionally AVOIDING what you feel is “gay society” only proves my point for me. again.

    so thanks.

    you can’t avoid something and then complain about not being accepted, sugar.

    and it’s not the fault of other gay people that you gave up on finding a group or circle of Brothers to spend time with.

    i did the work, i did the hunt, i found my people.

  42. says

    oh, you live in a small town eh?

    i just think it’s funny that the people who complain most about the lack of diversity and the lack of Different Types are the very same people who give every excuse in the book to remain anonymous……

  43. JustMe says

    Get over yourself..

    You are completely delusional, there is no point in talking to someone that messed up and narrow minded. Clearly you are so invested in ‘gay culture’ (your version of it) that you dont even know what the real world looks like any more.

    You keep saying im avoiding gay culture then dont define what it is, even though ive already said i dont avoid it, only the club culture. As i said this magasine has it wrong, but no less wrong than you.

  44. says

    Specifics, please. what is “displaying gayness 24/7″ ?

    i wouldn’t say i’m terribly invested in gay culture. those who are so invested in it are, actually, the ones who are invested in distancing themselves from it.

    i’ve not said you avoid gay culture. that was MarkT.

    breathe, child. B R E A T H E.

    if you want people to change their perceptions of what Gay Means it simply requires one thing: more gay people to stand up to be noticed, to be counted, to be identified as gay.

    it’s that simple. easy? no. but simple.

  45. says

    Jaragon, that’s what I’m thinking, too.

    i don’t think this about “gay men who aren’t camp” as much as it’s “gay men who are boring and devoid of wit”

    which, unfortunately, there’s a market for.

  46. JustMe says

    Littlekiwi, the problem is you seem to think of yourself as some kind of roll model, yet throughout your blogs and posts ive not seen you actually DO anything terribly constructive. Its all self promotion, delusion and you are only lying to yourself. Im sure some of the 5 people that read your blog are mighty impressed, as are the 20 people that read other blogs that link to it.

  47. says

    enough people, especially younger ones, have written to thank me. so yeah :)

    i’m not much of a role-model, actually. but what i am is someone who refuses to hide.

    just think – if more gays “like you” were as visible as I am you’d have your very own community by now.
    😉

  48. John says

    Gay men are going to be ‘re-branded’ by Australians? Please. Let’s see, you mean the land that gave us Priscilla and what’s that homophobic prime minister with the crap hair cut’s name? Keep it down under, silly boys. When the brand is to be changed, you will be advised in due course.

  49. _MKAU says

    What a interesting response from a clearly interested forum of men!

    In releasing concepts like Hello Mr. to social media and web based forums you expect to get feedback of all shapes and sizes, and generally you look for support, but also, most importantly is the feedback. Positive, negative or indifferent. The circulation gets people talking and popularity (or lack there of) is crucial in birthing a publication into a extremely large and diverse world of magazines. So congratulations Hello Mr. You certainly have struck a cord within this community of readers.

    As a young (25) man I find Hello Mr. an exciting and creative idea that comes from someone who clearly has a massive passion and is wanting to share it with the world. (Does this make me a hipster?) Everyone is entitled to an opinion, everyone is also entitled to a choice. To read Vogue or to read Vanity Fair, To pick up a news paper or to visit a web browser for an online fix. There needs to be an option for EVERYONE. Be it your cup of tea or not. There is no right or wrong here, no one is any better and certainly not any worse for wanting to create a platform for a voice to be heard and for stories to be told, be it genre specific (indie, queer, alternative.. Or any other subculture people feel attached to) or not.

    So, Hello Mr. I look forward to having the option to pick up a copy of your magazine one day soon, and read it pleasure and with pride.

    C’mon guys show a little love, acknowledge good, with bad and let’s support each other in being happy, healthy men. (and if you’re lucky enough to have a six pack then kudos to you!! *wink* )

  50. says

    you can’t get to a post-gay world until every gay person first EMBRACES being gay.

    as long as the “i’m gay but i’m not like THOSE gays” mindset exists, which is of course a homosexual’s response to heterosexual anti-gay prejudice, then we wont’ get there.

    you can’t get to step 20 without taking steps 1-19.

    you wanna be post-gay? embrace gay, now. identify as gay. remove the stigma that gay = bad, or gay = One Thing Only. and to do that, every gay person has to Come Out, without apologizing for it

    truly. that’s the only way we’ll ever get to a “post-gay” culture.

    and it’s not likely to happen for another few decades.

  51. Gary says

    what you resist, persists…don’t be “against” abs…. just have a glbt lifestyle magazine that shows whatever you like. However, a print magazine aimed at a subculture within a subculture seems doomed to failure.

  52. David says

    The way to get to Post-Gay is to simply move one.
    I DO identify as gay. I DON’T carry around a rainbow flag with me everywhere I go and call people Mary or dress in drag or have all of my body hair removed or listen Barbara Streisand or Lady Gaga. I prefer going on hikes on a weekend morning over going to brunch. I don’t feel like I have to go to a gay bar if I want to go have drinks with friends. I don’t feel like I have to only have gay friends.
    Different strokes for different folks. It’s not that I don’t like being gay. I LOVE being gay. But I’m my own kind of gay and I shouldn’t have to subscribe to any stereotypes in order to be gay.
    Like the creators of this magazine said, if you want a magazine full of rainbows and ads for gay cruises, there are plenty of magazines like that that already exist. What’s the harm in having a gay focused magazine with a different voice?

  53. Michael says

    Here’s what I wrote in the Kickstarter comments section, and I still feel this way:

    “I donated because I’m all for this magazine starting, and when it comes out I’m sure I will love it and the men within. However, I also wanted to voice my annoyance with the language being used to promote it. From what you’re showing on the Kickstarter site at least, this magazine is not ending the clichés found in mainstream gay magazines, it’s just selecting new ones—a different subset of beautiful gay men to feature. You say we won’t find “idolized midsections of seemingly flawless men,” but all you’ve done is forego a specific gay clique, gym bunnies, for another, indie otters—and you feature a shot of idolized beautiful indie midsections on your Kickstarter page. This is a perfectly fine thing to do (I like indie otters myself), but your gorgeous men are not any more accessible or realistic to most gay men out there than the gym bunnies are. If you really want to “redefine gay,” and reflect “the depth and diversity of gay men,” you’re going to have to go further than this.”

  54. says

    Most of my gay friends are not cover or centerfold matterial, but you know what? They have long lasting relationships! I remember in the 1970s, Most of the gay guys in San Francisco were dubbed “Castro Clones”, they all had mustaches,Pendelton shirts with rolled up sleeves and form fitting Levis with bleached grothed area. If you dated one, you dated them all at the same time. As a photographer, I was choosy when I picked young men to be photographed.

    I always like guys who set their own fashon trend. The word “Dude” was not in their vocabulary, and they didn’t smell like the Colone counter at Macy’s, and they didn’t have to file for bankruptcy to get a hair cut! I bought magazines for their stories and not for eye food. That’s not to say I didn’t look for good looking guys, but th real ones had flaws that added to their character. I knew better not to pick up somebody in a dark bar that posed in soft lights. I liked going to nude beaches and didn’t have to guess who the real blonds were. Like Coca Cola, I liked the real thing!

  55. RC says

    To LittleKiwi: Yes, yes, yes and yes! In total agreement. The idea of bland, ambiguous men who live in the stylish empty houses who are so above the trash that is gay is already a very old and tired idea. Long live LittleKiwi!

  56. will b says

    Couldn’t wait to see this video, and found this generation’s version of plucked and tweezed: skinny, geeky, gorgeous. I didn’t see anyone over 40, anyone who couldn’t be a print model, anyone … just, happily normal. (now THERE’S a title for a gay mag: Happily Normal !)

  57. Bill says

    Diversity of any kind? Race. Age. Body type? They barely got latte colored. Plus more disturbingly, I guess anyone over the age of 28 no longer exists. 1 in 5 men now have eating disorders…unless you are a model for Hello Mr., then the number jumps to 1 in 1.

  58. andrew says

    @Justme: Don’t try to reason with an ideological terrorist like Little Kiwi. He doesn’t understand the basic concepts of diversity of opinion in an open democracy. He like Benedict XVI think they are infallible.

  59. andrew says

    @Justme: don’t be surprised if you see ridiculous post in your name on this site. That is one of the tactics that ideological terrorists like Kiwi regularly employ. I didn’t know that such evil existed on the left.

  60. RC says

    @WIll B: everybody’s skinny, geeky, gorgeous, a print model, nobody over 40. That’s happily normal? Guess everybody else who doesn’t fit that mold would have to be put away in camps somewhere – maybe before they’re gassed.

  61. John says

    Not gonna succeed, HORRIBLE name and horrible climate to start a magazine…it would be great to read stories about ‘regular’ gay guys, the nerds and gay men who don’t choose to make sex and physical looks their defining quality…but no would buy it unless there were pee-pees or men in underwear…even THIS site has a ‘model of the day’ so…gotta know your audience I guess

  62. John Freeman says

    Exactly – good luck with starting a print publication these days, and they certainly don’t want my money. The video made it clear that no one under 40 need buy the magazine.

  63. Wilberforce says

    Another flavor of ghetto culture, the group think, obsession with looks and bodies over brains and kindness and character, contempt for serious discourse, refusal to set standards to stop hiv, etc…
    There’s a lot about gay culture that is healthy and fun, which we can all celebrate. But there’s a lot that isn’t. Until we start to face the self-destructive aspects, we are going nowhere. And a new magazine like this is just another dingbat pacifier.

  64. john says

    as an over 50 gay who was around for fight that got us to where we are now. This whole consept is offensive. First off the whole add looks like its geared towards the twink and twenty something crowd that turn up there noses at everyone who isn’t perfect looking and spend all their time at circuit parties, the gym and bars, and who we rarely see on the picket and protest lines, the rallies and the voting booths ( no offense to those who do, you are loved and appreciated; if few in number you stand tall in courage) Quite frankly it looks like the same old thing recycled and add new faces. (kind of like the bars every decade.

  65. says

    “David” – i call your bluff. That you have to list, uh, Barbra and Gaga shows that you’re not “post-gay” at all – you’re still living to prove to yourself, and others, that you’re not like “those gays”

    i understand where you’re coming from. i was that way when i was younger. then i stopped giving excuses for my own insecurities.

    by pretending that you’re “forced to subscribe to stereotypes” you only prove me right. you live in fear of them, instead.

    man up.

  66. foobar says

    Why does ‘the gay community’ have such a hard time accepting that there are other kinds of gay men? Why are we required to blubber over Madonna, collect drag queen trading cards, know all the latest sound-a-like techno pop dance tracks, skip the cottage for Pride, call each other ‘girl’, and be 24/7 cheerleaders for trannies and the rest of the LBCDEFG alphabet soup?

  67. Diogenes Arktos says

    I think the video shows their prospectus to be a lie. They’re just trying to be new when they’re not.

    @Will B: Back in 1985 a Toronto-based publication called The Body Politic published a hilarious book by Richard Summerbell entitled, “Abnormally Happy: A Gay Dictionary”. I think that’s the closest you’re going to get.

  68. says

    FOOBAR – thanks for proving the rest of us right. You just showed, with your pathetic and hilarious laundry-list of things you’re terrified of being associated with, that it’s the cowards like you that have a hard time accepting other gay men.

    confident, secure and Out gay men are not only well aware of the diversity in our communities, but we actually celebrate it – together, without some wimp-factor act of “i’m not like THOSE gays..”

    so thanks. you do our work for us.

  69. TexRex96 says

    Past is prologue gentlemen, not destiny. While I agree the video is as pretentious as they gay vibe they claim to eschew, I like this idea a lot. Gay urban media is still, for many of us, too vacuous, tacky, and narrow. Its insistence on defining its gay audience is often cultist. Yes, there is a huge market for Hello Mr.

    Many commentators here seem extremely agitated by this idea. You’ve tripped over each other depicting would-be Hello Misters as closeted, self-hating, or any number of self-soothing pejoratives. What is really so wrong here? The idea of diversity in our community? Could it possibly be that many of you have vested so much of your identity into urban gay subculture that you take any retreat from it as a personal slam?

    Well folks, one of the freedoms we’ve won over the years is that to be our true selves and openly like what we like. In other words, a concept oddly dismissed by our most strident activists.

  70. Gary says

    RC; My oldest brother was at the inception of “The Body Politic” in Toronto, and its’ ending. Nice to see it mentioned. Rick passed away in 2009. It pulled no punches, and Ricky had a lot to do with that.

  71. Mary says

    I have enjoyed Kiwi’s posts on this thread and this is one of the few occasions where I side with him completely. The editors of this magazine aren’t just aiming the publication at a certain type of gay individual (this would be fine), but are deliberately attempting to redefine the collective image of gay men. This last goal implies that the image gay men have now is a false and/or damaging one – and this is a direct insult to gay men who DO fit the current image of what gay men are. Kiwi is right to be offended by their “I’m not like the REST of you gay people” theme. There was a way to market this publications without creating schisms in the gay community. The editors were asking for trouble.

    People often accuse Kiwi of insisting on uniformity within gay culture. But he is only intolerant of gays who chose to stay in the closet, and gays who post anonymously on the internet. He never implies that every gay man has to be a Kiwi-clone.

Leave A Reply