1. Caliban says

    Here. Let me pre-empt the usual Dan Savage critics by saying:

    “OMG Dan Savage is an awful awful awful person who deliberately spreads Mumps wherever he goes and makes fart noises with his armpits at the dinner table!”

    So why don’t you have a nice cup of STFU and give it a rest for once?

  2. says

    folks, especially the Savage-haters, should actually read his book “The Commitment”

    one of his most beautifully illustrated points within it deals with the mythological “Gay Lifestyle”

    what is, after all, the “Gay Lifestyle”? Bluntly – it’s what the most recent generations of twenty and thirtysomething HETEROSEXUALS are choosing to do with their lives. Live in a city. Don’t marry young. Don’t have kids young. Get a job. Make money. Date around. Hook up. Keep a Little Black Book.

    yes, folks, i learned about the Gay Lifestyle from Sam Malone on “CHEERS”.

    gay culture and the gay scene(s) and the communities are nothing more or less than what you, personally, bring to it.

  3. says

    News flash 4 Caliban: I’d like to offer you a hot steaming cup of STFU along with a generous side of “get your nose out of Dan Savage’s crack.” It’s easier to see and perceive the world around you when you aren’t kissing ass! Never, ever forget that the majority of LGBT folk are not Dan Savage sycophants like you. We’ll call him out on his buffoonery (example: This most recent case of dumbass commentary facilitated by MSNBC)anytime we f*cking well please, darling, so you’d just better get used to it.

  4. says

    no. some gay men (like Stuffed Animal) choose, instead, to believe that all non-Christians go to Hell.

    because that’s totally empowered 😉

    some folks hate dan savage more than they care about LGBT Equality.

  5. Caliban says

    Stulted Animal? Bite my @ss.

    I’ve been paying attention and you have never ONCE have had a nice thing to say about a gay person or an ally, an initiative or an action. So f*ck you.

    I’ll never adopt your journey of self-abuse.

    You’re so pathetically obvious a 1st year psychology could diagnose you, so don’t be too impressed by your facile diagnoses of others.

    To put it short, I’d eat your f*cking lunch.

  6. Leo says

    Um…attempting to avoid the nuclear war between stuffedanimal and caliban, I’m going to timidly say that there’s WONDERFUL things he’s done for the community (it gets better), and then things that AREN’T so wonderful…which I’m apprehensive to mention here but will anyways. If you want to debate the points below, please don’t do so like those above as I’m nice and possibly persuaded to a different viewpoint. Thanks.

    1) The tone of his comments immediately post prop 8 struck me as that of someone slightly inwardly racist but able to disguise it now suddenly able to let those feelings loose…slightly…with the voting stats (albeit debated stats – CNN had it at 70% and NGLTF had it at 58%) as cover.

    2) Believes bisexuals should only date other bisexuals.

    3) Used jokes rooted in transphobia against anti-gay politicians.

    4) That blog spat with that woman centered around weight whose name I can’t remember right now that has a ton of followers.

    If you want to know why there’s still a LOT of people that have a problem with his pseudo-spokesman status, that scrapes the iceberg.

    He’s done many amazing things for the community, but he also has done things that aren’t so great, and I find a lot of his biggest followers toss off his mistakes with the pretty flimsy defense of his critics being the “PC police”. Really? Anyways, food for thought.

  7. TerryA says

    I religiously watch “Up with Chris Hayes” because it’s one of the most interesting, thought provoking shows on the air. Period. And that discussion is yet another example of that. And when Dan said “the marriage fight is over when we say it’s over, and it’s over when we win”, I practically applauded. And in spite of what SCOTUS may rule this June, we WILL win this fight.

  8. says

    another fun fact – Savage is no self-proclaimed leader, or voice for the community, nor our spokesman. as he’s stated many times.

    he’s simply a public figure who stands up, and speaks out, while others criticize him from the sidelines without ever offering to raise their own voices and visibility.

    he’s a spokesman by default. you want a new one? freakin’ step up and volunteer.

  9. anon says

    Dan has helped move the discussion past AIDS, which tied up things for 30 years. It’s not that AIDS isn’t important, it’s that it sucked all the oxygen out of the room for discussing anything else related to gay rights.

  10. Randy says

    Host is wrong. DOMA doesn’t ban marriage. It just doesn’t recognize it.

    Savage is also wrong. Romer didn’t uphold sodomy laws. That was Bowers v Hardwick.

  11. emjayay says

    Getting the Supremes case name wrong is the definition of “misspeaking.” (As opposed to when most politicians claim to have misspoken, like Romney with the 47%, which he meant to say. Of course, after claiming to wanting to be the president of all the people about a hundred times after that, he lost and then blamed his loss on Obama’s “gifts” to voters.) Anyway, no big deal. Can happen to anyone.

    I don’t get all the reaction to Dan. He’s not quite the attention whore that Dan Choi is (was?) but Choi did a lot of good getting the DADT issue out there, so who cares. Dan Savage is more than an activist -he’s not just a sex columnist, but a writer and editor. He’s not the be all and end all of everything gay, and doesn’t claim to be. He’s smart, funny, and generally right.

  12. says

    I take away two firsts with this interview… it’s the first time I’ve listened to Dan speak for more than 3 minutes without dropping the F-bomb, and it’s the first time I’ve listened to Chris Hayes without needing to do 3 lines of cocaine to keep up with his mouth.
    That being said, and in spite of the “oops” Romer/Bowers farce, I feel like I just watched one of the best discussions on LGBT cultural contributions/differences ever aired on television. In large part because of the two men in the discussion.
    Dan – in spite of my constantly nagging his ass – has my respect for his spokesmanship and his work for the community. I don’t always like what comes out of his mouth, and I’ve sharpened my claws on him for it. But the outcome derived from/by/based on his efforts and big mouth are worth occasionally feeling the need to cut a switch and go tan some ass.
    Chris – one of the most intelligent people I’ve seen in broadcast journalism in 40 years, and I love when he starts taking something apart – atom-by-atom – and laying it bare before you. Put him and Rachel Maddow on air together and it can be devastating. My only problem with the boy is that I’m so busy looking for the brake pedal I miss a third of the stuff that comes rushing out of his mouth. I was so happy to see that not happening here. Bravo, Cris! You should do champaigne on-set more often!

  13. billmiller says

    As most of us know, Dan Savage has been around for years, he was not elected as a spokesperson, but I do not see most of the rest of us taking up our cause(s)in such a manner as he has been able to do. I do not agree with a lot of what he or Faux ‘news’, Billy Gtahams son, or anyone else has to say, but I am not on the TV, are you?? Someone is much better than no one! I do not, however understand why people who hate homosexuals bother to look at this site or post….

  14. Zlick says

    Despite his misspeaking on Romer, one of the reasons I love Dan Savage as a spokesman, apart from the witty and righteous substance of what he says, is the very facile element that he never uses “uh” or “like” or any of those common speech impediments that really bug me in public speakers (e.g., Hillary Clinton, whom I love, can’t seem to manage two clear sentences without resorting to “uh” pauses).

    This was in fact one of the best Dan Savage talks ever. I love Chris Hayes, and I’m sorry I missed his show this past weekend. Thanks, Towelroad, for posting this interview.

    To all your rather pathetic Dan Savage haters: Um, yeah, not the perfect person. Some flaws, some mistakes. Now name me the BETTER gay rights public advocate. I double dog dare you.

  15. db says

    Leo, Dan Savage is a columnist and podcaster. His style is brash, outspoken and often vulgar. This is what his style has been for years. If you don’t like that–if you want him to be serious and polite you’re not going to like his columns or podcasts.

    1. His statements after Prop 8 were emotional and if they were racist it was directed at the black churches who got their memberships out to vote for Prop 8 and take away the rights of GLBT people in California. I won’t defend his statements but they were understandable.

    2 & 4. These were both addressed to specific questions from individuals writing in to his column. The first was from a bisexual who was dating a closeted married man. If you read what he actually said it makes more sense. The “fat issue” comment was in response to a man who was considering leaving his wife and child because his wife had put on weight. The blogger responding was very politically correct and very naive. But, again, the statement was in response to this specific situation.

    3. There have been a lot of complaints about Dan from transgender activists and scholars–but the fact is, he talks like the working and lower class transgendered people I first encountered. They referred to themselves and each other as “trannies” in a non-malicious way. He has had many trans people on his show but still deals with it in his irreverant way.

    But in all these cases–if you want someone who is going to be polite and politically correct Dan Savage is going to bug you. You won’t like him and you won’t change your mind. But it’s for those reasons that he’s valuable. He’s not Harvey Milk, he’s not Urvashi Vaid and he doesn’t want to be.

  16. says

    DB I think that was probably the best breakdown of our dear Daniel I’ve ever read. I think I’ll print it off and post it above my computer so the next time he opens his mouth and inserts both feet, a fist, his neighbor’s Chihuahua and Terry’s balls all at the same time I can look up there, read your post, and maybe… just MAYBE control my overwhelming urge to beat his ass ’till his nose bleeds. I love him for his work, and I really loved the video series of his tour of college campuses, but there are times to be brazen (I oughta know) and times to put a chastity be…. umm, I mean “rein it in.” I used to think Daniel may have been born developmentally disabled because he seemed completely incapable of realizing this fact. Then I saw this interview… and I thought, “Oh, my Gods and Fishes! The boy CAN speak without the F-word!!!” I was dumbfounded for all of a minute – and you’ve no idea what it takes to do that at my level of cinicism and jadedness.

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