1. Keith says

    Honesty and Integrity are the hallmarks of a solid marriage, and it is unfair to your wife to withhold the truth from her. You should sit her down and calmly tell her your truth, and that it doesn’t lessen your love or commitment to her. But you must also recognize that you can’t control her reaction, and you will need to respect her responses and questions to you once you have disclosed your truth. Only time will tell how this will modify your existing relationship, but you need to be prepared for all possibilities. And as the Littlekiwi mentioned, provide her additional resources and places to go where she can talk to other wives who have gone through this same process. You aren’t the first man to tell his wife this news, and you certainly won’t be the last.

  2. Bingo says

    Who’s this guy Penis?

    Did he say “bite it in the butt now”? Is that like “bite the bullet” but different?

    Note that the far north of Vermont can be seriously scary territory for a gay boy?

  3. Bob says

    There are LOTS of books, and, undoubtedly, online and in-person support groups for the wife.
    Of course, he has taken advantage of her, and she is delusional, both of which are not shocking in the Southern sticks.
    MY ADVICE: shut up, take care of what you need to, forgive yourself, and move on.
    OR: you can be a famous drama queen

    When you get to Maine, your kind of self-obsession will not go over well.

  4. Nelson says

    sorry, looks like another fame whore to me. She’s cute, white, and has a supportive family. i guess she got what she wanted. Her moment has arrived.. take a bow.

  5. Guy from DC says

    This video explains why no one ought to be married when they’re 19. If she or he thought that such a marriage was a good idea, they clearly weren’t ready. Sigh.

  6. Jeffrey in St. Louis says

    I think Keith already said it best, but be honest, be gentle — with her and with your self, and above all, take slow steps for a while.

    When a gay man comes out, there is every likelihood that he will enter a second (or, rather complete his first) adolescence. Adolescents (in general) aren’t known for thinking things through very well, and the impulse you give into today can be your regret tomorrow.

    Most of all: breathe.

  7. Caliban says

    In the divorce settlement she should demand a seeing-eye dog and a hearing aide because she’s obvious Helen f*cking Keller if she didn’t know he was gay!

    OK, that was a snotty thing to say, but c’mon!

    There are online groups for both gay people and their straight spouses. In places with large populations there may be physical groups. It’s a good thing they’re doing this now instead of 20 or 30 years from now.

  8. RK says

    Sick of these “types” and their internalized homophobia. They get married to women because they are weak nothing more. Dude, be honest! How is that for a start. And do you truely love your wife? Not sure about that either.

  9. Mark says

    20 y.o., from the South, and complaining about how difficult coming out is? Please, I’m 49, a child of the South, and faced much more resistance coming out 25 years ago. Stop whining, accept yourself, and *own* your decisions.

  10. Gigi says

    This cannot be real, can it? I’ll give him some advice. I’ve got lots of advice for him. We’d have to have a sleepover though. It’s kinds hands-on advice, if you know what I mean.

  11. Matt26 says

    She didn’t know? None of her family members nor friends told her? Well, she deserves someone who is straight.
    He needs to move on, stop talking to camera and start living a life of a 20-year-old gay man (but safely).

  12. Francis says

    Caleb, if you are reading this………first of all, call your ex-wife and basically say what you said in this video to her. Be honest with her. She may not want to hear it, but you have to do it before you move. You can’t simply leave her out to dry.

    PFLAG meeting sounds good, and really any sort of local LGBT support group will help, and a gay-friendly/gay counselor you can talk to, to clear your head, to help give your ex understanding. There are a lot of coming out support groups. There a few on facebook you should contact. There is a website called Again, Caleb, if you read this, go to that website and I think you’ll find things there to help you.

    I’m sorry for you and your wife but now that you’re out, it’s time to be open, be happy, be free and put your former life in the rear mirror. Once you move to Vermont, you need to just commit yourself to starting over and having fun. Your family accepts you, Vermont is an accepting state, you’re cute and you’re young. Live it up.

  13. David in NYC says

    I have been LOLing from this video for the best five minutes.

    Baby. You’re not even 21. Tell her, get a divorce and start your 25+ year quest for a decent husband like the rest of us.

  14. says

    what’s worth noting in these Christian Closet Case stories is the power of human prejudice over Godly judgment.

    they brazenly break the very-clear 9th Commandment in order to….sorta kinda abide by other barely-clear scriptural mentions of sexuality?


  15. Markt says

    I think he should find a christian guy who wants to do christian 3 somes with a christian married couple. Craig’s list probably has a dedicated search for that. Film it and score it (he’s a composer) and it could solve some future alimony problems. I’d watch – he is cute.

  16. Dan B Seattle says

    Dear video poster;
    Here are some recommendations: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays – PFLAG is a great place to start. There are groups all over the country, hopefully one near you in SC and where you’ll be in VT.

    PFLAG should know the local support networks.

    If you’d like to find a church do a web search for ‘Welcoming and Affirming Churches Vermont’, or SC. Many provide pastoral counseling for couples that would be valuable for you. They’re also likely to have many LGBT members. And they perform Same-Sex marriages.

    You’ve become aware that you’re not going to change who you’re attracted to physically and emotionally. Watch some ‘It Gets Better’ videos. There are plenty of stories of people who were married.

    Best of luck to you.

  17. EchtKultig says

    “I am Marcus. My wife is Michelle Bachmann. If it works for me, it should also work for you. Call me and we will have a “hands-on” session.”

    LMAO! Good one!

  18. jaragon says

    Hmmm first what is he doing babbling about his life on the internet? Doesn’t he have close friends or family he can talk to about this problem. His wife was obviously deaf and blind is she doesn’t know this guy is gay?

  19. NE1 says

    But seriously if he really loves her I hope he held off on having sex with guys while he was married because cheating is cheating. I also think this might be a joke?

  20. Rich says

    Advice on coming out to whom? He’s told his wife, told his parents. He’s getting a divorce and getting out of the South. Sounds to me like he’s covered all the bases.

  21. Diogenes Arktos says

    I agree it’s got to be a fake. He’s got very liberal, supportive parents – yet he got married to a very Christian woman and he’s only *now* coming out? His soon-to-be ex-wife is very Christian – yet they met and immediately moved in together for a year before their marriage? This just does not add up.

  22. says

    Aieee…GAWDZ! South Carolina, 19 years old, Closet case and a Live-in Fag Hag. Put them all together and you’ve got Honey Boo Boo on Crack. Be still my aching ueterus – another one has slipped my clutches and ended up in a world of sh*t. Alright, che’ – send me your address and I’ll send you a ticket. Once you get to Kansas City Mommie Dammit will fill you in on all the reasons why you’re f*cked in the head, and then we can spend the next three years cleaning up the mess you’ve made in both your lives along with the mess between your ears. You’d have been better off joining the Marines, little boy.

  23. DannyEastVillage says

    the kindest thing you can do is let her know that “it isn’t her,” that there’s nothing wrong with her that makes you want out of the marriage except the fact that she’s–a she.

    but I think she’s known a long time and is just waiting for you to be able to tell her.

  24. ThomT says

    They lived together for a year before getting married but he somehow thought that getting married would suddenly turn him straight? Sounds like he was listening to Michele Bachmann when she said “gay people can get married, they just can’t marry someone of the same sex”.

    If this guy is for real he is majorly naive and immature. That said, he is just one more in a group of many who have, for whatever reason, chosen to ruin someone else’s life because of their inability and unwillingness to deal honestly with the reality of their homosexuality.

    Many religious people fail to see the damage that these phony marriages do and continue to perpetuate this myth that somehow a wedding band will suddenly change your sexual orientation.

  25. billmiller says

    There is in our society way too much pressure put on men and women to marry. This kid here is one of thousands that are pressured every year! I worked 32 years in the steel industry, and saw it happen way too often!

  26. Chuck Mielke says

    Yes, people, there really are folks as clueless as this. He’s 20, for heaven’s sake — a mere infant!! He met his wife while in high school, probably experimented with straight sex (ick. ick.) and thought he’d get used to it — what is he likely to think when teachers, preachers, the media, and peers have told him what to expect for 18 years? His parents may be liberal, but they may also be conventional and uninformed about how to process a divorce. I think he’s unfocused in his request — he doesn’t need advice on coming out, he needs advice in coordinating his divorce and move to Vermont. He may, also, need advice on how to find supportive friends to be there as he works through a rather difficult series of situations.

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