Christmas | Drew Barrymore | Keanu Reeves | Towleroad Guide to the Tube

Towleroad Guide to the Tube #1271

KEANU AND DREW: A song from the 1986 classic Babes in Toyland.

TERRIBLE: Presenting part one of what is universally regarded as the worst movie ever made, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.

'THAT'S A CHRISTMAS PRESENT': Better Off Dead translates strange American customs.

TWO SIMPLE WORDS: May your holiday be less stressful than John McClane's.

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  1. OMG Pia Zadora was in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"!

    Posted by: Manny Espinola | Dec 24, 2012 7:45:36 PM

  2. Back in the 60's I got the 45 rpm record (that's an audio storage medium, kids) of the theme song from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at a school rummage sale. It was priced at 10 cents, but nobody bought it and they were going to throw it out so I got it for free. Now it's worth $50 bucks or so on eBay, but I think my brother destroyed it.

    Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen | Dec 24, 2012 9:27:39 PM

  3. I've seen Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (on TCM) and I agree it's pretty bad. But it's not the worst.

    Even among holiday specials, Christmas Comes to PacLand is worse.

    Among films more generally (including shorts, videos, and TV movies) I offer: The Mangler 2, Fire Serpent, Madea's Class Reunion, The Killer Eye (a David DeCoteau film), Jaws: The Revenge, Boys Beware (one we should be familiar with here), and Cybermaster.

    Posted by: Randy | Dec 24, 2012 9:46:35 PM

  4. Aw, there are many, many movies that are worse than Santa Claus Conquers The Martians.

    Posted by: Eric | Dec 24, 2012 10:55:53 PM

  5. Awww, "Better Off Dead" was such a gem. I laughed myself silly. Yes, I rmember Santa Clause and the Martians. As a little boy, I thought some of the Martians were "hot".

    Posted by: Bill Michael | Dec 25, 2012 2:17:41 AM

  6. Well, I mean if it was Suspicion of Grand Cookie Larceny...

    Posted by: Marc C | Dec 25, 2012 4:01:23 AM

  7. You sure have a gift for writing such great articles! Thank you!

    Posted by: essay writing service | Dec 25, 2012 4:42:09 AM

  8. Better Off Dead is a classic. My favorite John Cusack movie!

    Posted by: Dave In PA | Dec 25, 2012 11:18:51 AM

  9. Did the same guy who just wrote, "...regarded as the worst movie ever made, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians...." also write, "... the 1986 classic Babes in Toyland"? CLASSIC? Too much eggnog this Christmas morning?

    Posted by: jeffreychrist | Dec 25, 2012 12:36:27 PM

  10. Oh how many of us watched that whole damn clip thinking the still was Joan Crawford ala Mommy Dearest. There was a Christmas scene in that movie.

    Posted by: NE1 | Dec 25, 2012 1:35:58 PM

  11. @Manny Espinola....I noticed Pia Zadora's name on the credits as well. Probably the best actress in it,which doesn't say much LOL

    Posted by: Goodcarver | Dec 25, 2012 9:50:30 PM

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