Former NFL Player Kwame Harris Charged with Attacking Ex-Boyfriend

Kwame Harris, a former offensive tackle for the San Francisco 49ers and Oakland Raiders, was scheduled to appear in court today on charges he attacked his ex-boyfriend in a dispute over soy sauce and underwear, the Daily Journal reports:

HarrisHarris, 30, is charged with felony counts of domestic violence causing great bodily injury and assault with force likely to produce great bodily injury in the Aug. 21, 2012 incident. He has pleaded not guilty but was held to answer after a preliminary hearing last fall. He is due back in court today for a pretrial conference to either settle the case or confirm a jury trial hearing.

The man, Dimitri Geier, is also suing Harris civilly for assault, battery, false imprisonment, negligence and both intentional and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

Harris and Geier were no longer involved when the fight took place, according to Harris' attorney:

Harris was to drive Geier to San Francisco International Airport but instead became upset when he poured soy sauce on a plate of rice, according to the suit filed in San Mateo County Superior Court. The men argued for approximately seven minutes and Harris said he would no longer take Geier to the airport, the suit states.

As the men left to remove Geier’s belongings from Harris’ car so that he could instead take a cab, Harris tried pulling the other man’s pants down and accused him of stealing his underwear, according to the suit.  Geier unsuccessfully tried pushing Harris away but the bigger man shook him violently and punched him in the arms, the suit states.

Harris was arrested at his home following the fight, which sent Geier to the ER.

Harris' attorney says his client was acting in self-defense and claims Geier's suit is an attempt at extortion.

Harris has never publicly said he is gay.


  1. says

    soy sauce and underwear.

    SOY SAUCE. on a plate of rice.

    i’m sorry, i’m trying to picture this all going down and all i can imagine is the side-eye likely being given by all witnesses.

    SOY. SAUCE……


  2. Derrick from Philly says

    I know domestic violence (or ex-domestic violence) is not funny. I shall not laugh at this. Lord, help me not to laugh at this….please.

    You know, plenty Gay guys played highschool football–especially down South. Why wouldn’t they play in college and go on to the pros? Not surprising he’s Gay…or something or other.

  3. says

    soy sauce is the new HIV-disclosure.

    no fats, no fems, no soy sauce.

    and all this time i thought it was simply a food-analogy for racism…

  4. Diogenes Arktos says

    When your attorney makes you look like an @ss, it’s time to find a new attorney.

    Last straws are sometimes quite ridiculous.

  5. simon says

    They never serve soy sauce rice in Chinese or Japanese restaurants. It must be a special treat.

  6. Mike in the Tundra says

    I can just hear part of the explanation – “I’m not gay, but my boyfriend is.”

  7. Rick says

    Soy sauce argument followed by attempt to steal underwear. YES, IT HAPPENED IN……SAN FRANCISCO.

    Seriously, though, it would be nice if a former NFL player could come out and it not be through a criminal charge (as in this instance), dying of AIDS (Jerry Smith), coming clean about prostitution and drug abuse (Roy Simmons), or some other calamity…..I guess Esera Tuaolo’s case was fairly clean… was Wade Davis’s, but he was a fairly obscure player.

    Oh, well, maybe when the culture of effeminacy has been eradicated, but probably not before then.

  8. says

    Playing without a helmet obviously, I just wonder who’s going to play him in the movie “Underwear Theif”? In cases like this, I’m glad that all gays do not come out of their closet while playing… as for the soy sauce… it does leave a nice after taste depending on what you put it on! Chances are he was not gay when he first came to the 49ers… butt changed after tail-gating with those fans with the nice Pom-Poms!

  9. distinguetraces says

    If you know yourself to be an idiot certain to be involuntarily outed in an embarrassing manner due to the out of control way you live your life, would’t it make more sense to out yourself in advance, while you can still do it with some dignity.

    Of course, the flaw in the logic is that idiots may not know themselves to be idiots.

  10. Rick says

    I just realized that there’s no such thing as a culture of effeminacy. There’s only a culture of gay men who are unafraid of coming out and being visible members of society, and men who are afraid of coming out and being visible members of society. I’m part of the latter. Many of us pretend there’s a culture of effeminacy as an excuse to not be real men and stand up to be counted. But, as I just realized, that makes no sense. I mean, if we all came out then it would end that non-existent culture, right? Yes.
    So, there we have it. I just learned something. There is no culture of effeminacy. There is only a Closet Culture, and effeminacy is the excuse that fully-grown adults like myself use to justify our insecure fears about coming out.

    I apologize to everyone for the stupidity I have shown, and for my own cowardice. I should rightfully be showing myself as a visible and strong masculine gay man, to end the culture of effeminacy I’ve so often railed against, but I just realized that it’s a completely fabricated culture. It doesn’t exist. It’s just something closeted adults like to tell ourselves so we don’t feel quite as weak and insecure as we know ourselves to actually be.

  11. Rick says

    To give some insight, as soon as I saw my own words I realized how stupid they were. Wouldn’t all those sports players coming out put an end to the culture of effeminacy I’ve so often talked about? Yes. But, as I myself am not out yet, I realized that what gay men like myself have been doing is not just cowardly, but is in fact the very reason for the culture we like to pretend exists, that we then choose to complain about. Football players and men like myself can’t sit and wait for others like us to come out, nor for the men we consider to be effeminate to go away. We have to come out ourselves and be the visible change that we want to see. But that’s the problem – it’s too hard.
    It’s a lot easier to do what I’ve wasted more than 50 years doing, which is to hide and blame everyone who isn’t hiding for my own problems.
    I just realized this when I typed this sentence: “Oh, well, maybe when the culture of effeminacy has been eradicated, but probably not before then.”

    How could I have been so stupid? How could I be so stupid as to believe that a non-existent culture would need to be eradicated when the truth is actually as simple as nearly every gay person already knows: nothing changes unless we all come out.

    I myself will never come out. But I do apologize for all the shameful projections of my own insecurity that I have lumped onto others. It’s nobody’s fault but my own that I’m not yet man enough to come out.

    Well, it’s partly my mother’s fault. She was a fem and also a woman, and I’m not too keen on women. Women shouldn’t be allowed to be mothers.

  12. jason says

    Kwame might be bi. Just because a man has a relationship with a man, it doesn’t mean that his relationships are reserved for men only.

    Yes, Virginia, many men DO have genuine relationships with men and women at different times in their lives.

  13. Rick says

    I think some people didn’t both to read the linked article–this was neither about soy sauce, nor underwear. It was a case of assault,resulting in serious injury. The complainant had to have surgery to repair a broken orbital socket. Harris’ attorney responds, however, that his client was physically attacked, and that the punch was in self-defense.

    Is it fun to mock and minimize what happened because these men are African-American? Because they’re closeted? Because they’re tenuously linked to the NFL?

    All the cowardly, self-loathing, pus-oozing Rick-soundalikes come to commment.

  14. Sean says

    “Harris has never publicly said he is gay.”

    And is now relieved of that responsibility in the most humiliating way imaginable.

  15. CPT_Doom says

    Having sustained the same kind of injury after a gay-bashing – an orbital blow-out – along with other broken bones (the bashers hit me in the face with a brick), I know it is nothing to laugh about and Geier could have permanent damage as a result. That being said – soy sauce and underwear? I am going to guess this wasn’t the smoothest-running relationship when it was happening, ’cause there are some major unresolved relationship issues here.

  16. Rick says

    Well, thank you Seattle Mike. I just realized as I saw my own words how utterly ridiculous they were. You’ll have to forgive my years of endless prejudice and unintelligent rhetoric that I’ve plagued these boards with. It’s been very hard for me to accept that those effeminate men that I was brought up to hate are actually stronger men than I am, and that I need to live as fearlessly as they do if the world I want to see is to ever become a reality.

    I cannot believe that I’ve been blaming a culture of effeminacy when the reality is that those men I’ve been conditioned to hate are doing what I, and many other men, should be doing. Which, of course, is to live our lives openly and proudly with no apologizing for who or what we are.

    It’s going to be a very hard habit for me to break. I may even retire a few of my internet aliases, to boot.

  17. David Hearne says

    I have difficulty caring about this, or Taiwano, or Florida Superbritches, the Kardashians, or some whiny poet who performs at the inauguration. Surely the gay community hasn’t come to this.

  18. iban4yesu says

    I myself get upset when I see someone pour soy sauce on rice, but I don’t hit them!
    Erm… I mean, spanking is not same as hitting, is it ?
    Well, I somehow to learn how to teach them the right way to eat rice ! LOL

  19. Henry Holland says

    How pathetic that BullyKiwi spends all his time on here screeching “Show the URL! PROVE that you’re gay by showing your blog URL!!!!!” but resorts to using Rick’s name to spout even more of his nonsense.

  20. Rd says

    Shut up Rick… The gay community doesn’t want you.. I say that as a man who doesn’t “act” masculine or effeminate.. I am me, and I’m too old to put up with losers like you who constantly need to push other people’s buttons in order to feel ‘valued”… If you want your hand held, try asking that poor woman who gave birth to you.. When are we going to stop catering to these ‘damaged’ men who can’t seem to get over the fact they grew up gay? I, for one, am sick of allowing these people to constantly whine about how life has been hard for them.. It was hard for us all, but we dusted the chips off our shoulders and got on with life… Try it…QUIETLY

  21. Bill says

    @David Hearne: I wouldn’t care about it either if I hadn’t been to that restaurant. Can you imagine a nearby fight just as a waiter is handling the final step in preparing sizzling rice soup? The possibility of someone crashing into the waiter and having boiling liquid splattered is, shall we say, disconcerting. Same for any dish that requires flames at the table (think “hot pot”).

    I’d say throw the book at the guy – his fight could have injured people just sitting there eating dinner. If they had to fight, they could have just spent 5 minutes or so and walked over to Burgess Park, or they could even have held the fight right outside the police station, which is near that park, to save the police the effort of driving over to the restaurant to nab them.

  22. UFFDA says

    PAUL -that’s KIWI for you, he does it all the time with RICK, the one man he is most intimidated by. He does it to me and others as well, one of the reasons we call him Frankenfag, utterly disfigured by his laughable parasitism.

  23. jason says

    A man gets his eyes bashed in and all you ditzy queens can talk about is the sexuality of the alleged assailant. You truly are screwed up as a community.

  24. Big doc says

    Now this is just sad. I see the aftermath of excessive violence all to often in my line of work(ER doc). I don’t know the size of his ex, but him being 6″7 and 300+ pounds, he could’ve easily killed his ex, and for what? What a disgraceful way to come out. But hey, us gays are the same anyone else. Maybe even more embracing of macho things trying to prove that we’re real men. If homosexuality wasn’t shunned, and gay people wasn’t forced to live in a lie, it would all be so much better. I know that i would’ve been much worse of a person if i weren’t out. Anyhow, I do hope that it works out for the better for everyone involved.

  25. Bill Michael says

    I am told that the Chinese don’t pollute their rice with soy sauce. It’s considered in poor taste like putting catsup on your T-Bone Steak.

  26. millerbeach says

    This whole thing is dumb beyond belief. You are going to hit someone for putting soy sauce on your rice? Why are you putting soy sauce on someone else’s food? Let THEM season their OWN food. It works much better that way. Underwear? Gay men arguing over underwear? OMG! Like we don’t already have three drawer-fulls of underwear at home! Let him keep the stupid paid he is wearing! Pulling down his pants in public is a no-no, unless it is Pride Weekend, or if you are in a sleazy gay bar…then, it is perfectly o.k.

  27. simon says

    Bill Michael:
    It is quite OK to put soy sauce in when cooking Chinese food like fried rice but poor taste putting it directly on rice. Chinese restaurants don’t serve soy sauce rice because it is considered as cheap. The taste of rice is quite bland. That’s why Chinese dinner usually consists of rice accompanied by other dishes which are more tasteful. In poor families, they can’t afford the other dishes and can only mix rice with soy sauce to survive.

  28. simon says

    Of course I mean ancient times. Soy sauce was cheap and mass produced. It is not the same as what you buy in supermarkets nowadays.

  29. dcinsider says

    At least they were arguing over something important. Soy sauce is VERY HIGH in sodium, so I understand that argument, and NOTHING pisses me off more than stolen underwear.

  30. andrew says

    Once again we see the malevolent Little Kiwi posting things in his arch enemy Rick’s name. The man is a psycho!!!

  31. andrew says

    Do you think that we will hear from Art Smith, Scott Johansen, 2Dads, Greg Cali, USC Trojan Fan, Klein and all the other Little Kiwi sicko aliases on this issue? We can only hope and wait to be mused.

  32. Derrick from Philly says

    Little Kiwi’s strategy of doing a parody of Rick on this blog is appropriate and effective. Why? Because Rick’s beliefs are f.cking evil. Not just right-wing, White supremacist and misogynistic, but plain evil. His beliefs hurt people–hurt Gay people.

    The only way to counter Rick’s comments is to ridicule those comments– to point out the absurdity of what he believes. The idea of some “masculine movement” to undue the “culture of effeminacy”. He’s full o’ pure sh.t. Fifty-four years old and talkin’ such sh.t. He oughtta’ be preparing for the graveyard (or crematory) instead of trying to make Gay men feel bad about being themselves.

    I can’t go after Rick the way Little Kiwi does because I do have some of the “stereotypically queeny” traits that Rick rants about. Traits that I actually like about me(and have paid the penalty for ). But Rick ridicules and insults Gay folks in general. Haven’t y’all noticed that?

    Little Kiwi’s parodies of Rick illustrate what is at the core of Rick’s philosophy: hypocrisy, racism and intense hate.

  33. jamal49 says

    I’m surprised at how some here think this is funny. Yeah. I get it. Soy sauce and underwear. Funny. But, the part about Harris beating the guy up? Not so funny. Guess some y’all have never experienced such a thing. Ain’t funny. Not at all.

  34. DB says

    I met Kwame once at a Super Bowl party here in San Francisco. He was quite nice, friendly, and unassuming. He is also extremely attractive and huge. He is not closeted but rather is open with his friends about being gay. Hopefully this story is not true.

  35. andrew says

    Derrick From Philly: Don’t be surprised if after getting in bed with Little Kiwi, you wake up with fleas. How far does your tolerance of Little Kiwi’s hateful and vile posts go? Do you approve of the posts where he talks about Rick rimming his father? All is not fair in love and war and Kiwi does more harm to progressive causes than morons like Rick are ever capable of doing. Kiwi is a psycho

  36. says

    as long as pathetic grown-adult and anonymous trolls spew their misery and hate from a place of cowardice, there will be those who live their lives unafraid who will call out their shameful idiocy.

  37. Dee Vee says

    Thank God it wasn’t over something as serious as squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.

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