1. says

    That speech was an awful, rambling mess! And Jodi was super bitter throughout it. A reasonable person might be confused by exactly what she wanted to convey.

    I like her a lot less right now.

  2. Shannon says

    Some of these comments perplex me. She stated that she came out at an early age to those she was close with, but honered her privacy because she has been in the spotlight her entire life. She said she is not “Honey Boo Boo” and that her ‘real life in the spotlight’ was reality enough. She then went on to thank to co-mother of her two boys, calling her “my co-parent, ex-partner of 20 years,and love her life, her sister friend and something else. It was clear that they had been together as life partners, but no longer are. How much clearer could it be.

  3. DeaconMac says

    I watched Foster’s whole speech and didn’t see or hear anything that sounded like a coming out speech. She “came out” as “single,” not as a lesbian, though she toyed with the audience a lot, leaving no real doubt. Here’s the way the LA Times put it: “…Jodie Foster, who took to the stage to give a … retirement speech? A coming-out speech? It was hard to tell. She was receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement when she ramped up to confess that she was single … and seemed to sidestep directly addressing any questions about her sexual orientation. “

  4. Toto says

    I agree that the coming out was not quite as clear as it might have been. However, given the context of the speech in which she introduced the male co-parent of her children while also noting quite dramatically that she’s single, I’m realizing she did, in fact, come out. I’m looking forward to reading a transcript of the speech because when she asked the audience for some whooping-it-up when she dramatically announced she’s… “single”, some of the audio that came next got bleeped, at least on my television set.

  5. OKCRefugee says

    No she did not come out. She said that her love life is basically the only thing she has left that isn’t public, and that she would like to keep that private. Watch it again.

  6. says

    The co-parent of her children is female — a waoman she dumped several years back when she ran off with Melanie Mayron’s girlfriend. Apparently they’re no longer a couple. But who knows what in hell Jodie was saying.


  7. Bill says

    She’s a disgrace. To come out she should actually “come out” and admit that’s she’s gay, not that she’s “single.” She’s a real disgrace to our community. Will never watch another of her movies.

  8. Toto says

    As a testament to the confusion layered into the speech, I’m getting the sense, by reading the comments above, that she was thanking a female co-parent!! I didn’t see a woman on camera at her table during that part of the speech–only shots of her sons.

  9. Bill says

    David, Can’t agree with you move. It felt like she was just standing up there making fun of anyone who was actually “out of the closet” and equating us with Honey Boo Boo. If she wants a private life, perhaps she shouldn’t accept awards (undeserved) on national TV.

  10. AZEXPAT says

    I thought her speech was honest, and moving, and said what SHE – and not the bitter YOU – wanted her to say. She didn’t and doesn’t owe YOU a goddam thing.

  11. Bill says

    Agree that she doesn’t owe us anything. However, she is receiving an award for her work in film and makes the entire premise of her speech about whether or not she will come out…and then doesn’t, and belittles the coming out process. She should have just said “thank you” for the award. She came across as a crazy, drunk nutcase.

  12. Jeff Kurtti says

    Perhaps people are too young, or perhaps forgetful. Jodie Foster’s highly-sensetive desire for utmost privacy has a simple two-word explanation: John Hinckley.

  13. WebHybrid says

    I’m with REMOTEPATROLLED and ISAIAH: she’s angry. Very, and always. Personally I have tried and tried to like her, for decades – just can’t. She’s absolutely charmless, and painful to watch. Consider: apparently her dearest friend is the ugly-inside-and-out Mel Gibson, who BTW looked lobotomized on this broadcast.

  14. Karen says

    She didn’t come out. She told the media and the idiots that think “you must come out publicly” they should mind their own business. Entertainment websites are masquerade as being enlightened but are the biggest homophobes. Shame shame shame.

  15. topher says

    Jeez, I as so amazed at her oral skills and at the structure of the speech. Completely flabbergasted, thinking this woman is just the most amazing speaker ever to exist (I know she’s the most intelligent actress out there anyways), and feeling disappointed I would never get to fully understand such amazing mind, but then I realized she’s reading the speech off a teleprompter. Man, that quickly calmed me down! A beautiful and intelligent and elegant speech – exactly like her.

  16. ElCid says

    What a lot of bitter people in here. Her speech was honest. She did come out. Even me, a non-native English speaker, I understood what she meant to say. She even made a reference to her past-girlfriend. She was nervous, but what the hell! She is entitled to be!
    I don’t appreciate a bunch of gay-men perspiring bitterness just because she did not speak like your fantasies would be.

  17. bobbyjoe says

    So she wants to berate everyone for invading her private life while picking the g-d-mned Golden Globe awards as her moment to make a weird self-pitying, oddly hostile spectacle of her coming out?

    Yeah, nice try, Jodie, but you could have come out in a much classier way at any point in the last decade without doing it on a worldwide broadcast.

    Wow, when Mel and her hang out it must seriously be like the densest Neutron star of crazy.

  18. AngelaChanning says

    I give her credit for getting up there and giving it her best shot. Sometimes we expect actors to always be polished and when they wing it, sometimes it does not always work. I did get a sense of frustration on her part and felt like she was giving us a lecture for a few seconds. It reminded me of Meredith Baxter’s coming out…a little on edge.

  19. melvin says

    The award honors her work in the film industry. That is all. It is not an award for transforming society. It is not the Nobel Peace prize. Jesus H people, it is an industry honoring one of its own. As for Mel Gibson and all the rest of this nonsense, I have friends who do not quite see things the way I would like them to. Do you not? Because she has been on the screen, it is tempting to feel that we know her. We don’t. We are not acquainted at all. There are real things to worry about. Jodie Foster’s failure to say precisely what you would have scripted for her is not one of them.

  20. Kyle Childress says

    I watched her the first time and thought she was flippant, but I rewound and watched it again and it was extraordinarily touching. She’s welcome to the tribe and well done her.

  21. bobbyjoe says


    I have friends who don’t always see things the way I see them. But I don’t have any friends who have frequently been caught making incredibly racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic comments over and over and over again. Or who have pretty damning evidence that they’ve engaged in domestic abuse. I guess that’s where me and Jodie Foster are a wee bit different.

  22. marc says

    I think it was a well crafted speach given in her own unique and forceful way. It did sound angry and hostile. Unsure if it’s because she didn’t want to give it or is this simply the role she plays as a card carrying lesbian. Many are hostile by nature so I’m going with that.

  23. ElCid says

    Oh yes. Because we are the one to judge whose attempt to come out is lame and whose isn’t. Absolutely nonsense.

    People should accept that everyone is different and in the same way we ask to value difference we must value it in return. She did it the way she knew. I thank her for being brave and do it (maybe not like rock star, like apparently most people here think they are), but like a human being.

  24. LIZA says

    There are some real bitter nellies on here who’s own standard of coming out is for people to stand up and say “I’m ____ and I’m gay”, like they are at some 12 step program. Any other way is not good enough for them. They demand it be done THEIR way, not the way the person who is coming out wants it. It’s their way or the highway. For example, Anderson Cooper. People here hounded him to come out, when he did it STILL wasn’t good enough for them (he didn’t do it soon enough, what has he really done for gay people?, blah blah). Get over yourselves.

  25. bill says

    If she couldn’t come out as proud, why the need to ever bring up her sexual orientation in the first place? Just say “thanks for the honor” and move on. She brought on the criticism by equating coming out with a Honey Boo Boo reality show . No need to show embarrassment over her orientation. Her speech was nonsense .

  26. DG says

    I’m getting a kick out of those calling her bitter and angry. One only has to read through some of these comments, which stand as examples of what she’s had thrown in her face for years, to see why.
    For anyone who actually paid attention to what she was presenting, both verbally and non-verbally, it was very moving (as evidenced by the reactions of many in the audience.)

  27. MikeInSanJose says

    I’m really confused and disappointed by some of the comments on this thread. Congratulations on living up to the bitchy queens stereotype.

    She has spent her entire life entertaining us and owes none of us any explanation for how she’s lived her personal life. Her speech wasn’t polished and choreographed enough for you? oo Bad!!

    As she said in her speech, she’s been out to the people who were close to her, those who were actually a part of her life, but now she realizes that she’s required to share the intimate details of her private life with a press conference, a fragrance, and a reality show.

    I’m embarrassed for those of you who feel the need to critique her so harshly for what must have been a pretty difficult and very public coming out. And I feel sorry for you. May you get exactly what you give.

    So y’all be sure to post the links to the YouTube videos you’ve posted of your own coming out speeches at the Golden Globe Awards so we can rip you to shreds right back….

  28. GregV says

    We were watching the Golden Globes live when I saw this on Towleroad snd told my partner: ” Wait! Rewind the PVR! How did I miss what Towleroad says that Jodie just said?!”
    Well, a few seconds was either bleeped out or had bad audio, and unless she came out as gay there, she certainly didn’t say so in the speech that is posted here.
    She prepared everyone for “a confession,” and the confession is….. “I’m single.”

    No one could know for sure from this speech alone whether Jodie is gay, straight or bisexual, because she did NOT identify her orientation. On the contrary, one could come away from this speech with the impression that being single is her big secret that she’s had trouble admitting in an industry that loves gossipping about everyone’s personal details.

    In 2007, she mentioned Sydney, but it wasn’t clear to the viewer whether she’d enjoyed Sydney, Australia, or Sydney who was some person or another who’d helped her along. This time, the term “soul sister” is the only hint that suggests (to only the most attentive viewer who might notice that one gender-specific word in the whole speech) that Sydney is a female.
    I can imagine the grandmothers living in Peoria saying, “Oh, how nice that her loving sister helped her raise her kids when she couldn’t ever find a husband!”

    This is not a criticism of Jodie Foster but of the misleading description of what she supposedly said.
    I can fully understand why she wants some of the privacy that most of us take for granted.

  29. Dback says

    Whatever happens now, my initial impression of her–forged some 35 years ago–still stands: this is one talented, tough, smart, and cool chick.

    She has had an extraordinary life, and has gone through fires (Hinckley, being raised by a single parent, being in a glass closet for 2 decades) many of us can’t begin to fathom. Her speech may have read as “snarky” only because a lot of us can’t begin to keep up with the leaps of her Yale-educated mind. (Did I mention that she dubs her own movies into French, as she’s fluent?)

    I raise my glass to you, ma’am–no matter what anyone says, I’ll always regard you as the Last Great Dame out there. (Though I’m feeling pretty bullish about Jennifer Lawrence.)

  30. mikey67 says

    She doesn’t owe US anything. But maybe she could think beyond HERSELF and actually, really come out and stand up for the kids out there who are still confused and scared and in need of a helping hand. Her speech was appalling. I’ve lost all respect for her. To broach the subject and then not even follow through? She’s a disturbed woman.

  31. Martin says

    Seriously, I have to agree that a lot of posters in here are RIDICULOUS…..Privacy is a gift that people don’t want to give anyone anymore…It is Pathetic that she is being judged by some “queens”…that she seemed Bitter and Angry…. she was nervous and kinda scared because she had to make a speech and she has lived a Successful Private life ~~~only disappointing thing is her loyalty to asad Bigot like Mel Gibson, but its her business,,, Love ya, Jodie…. Please dont ccompletely QUIT acting… you aqre one o the Greatest !!!!

  32. says

    Go Jodie. You became a star before stars came out. Yes, your speech became a little bitter in the middle, but you brought it back and acknowledged your life partner who helped raise your kids, even though the two of you are no longer together.

    The real bitter ones are the ones who expect you to act in a way that’s not true to yourself. Screw them.

  33. ElCid says

    @ Bill:
    “If she couldn’t come out as proud, why the need to ever bring up her sexual orientation in the first place?”. She didn’t do this to give you a sense of pride Bill.

    She did it for herself and her family. Her kids seemed happy and proud of their mom. She looked very proud to me if you ask me.

    We have to accept and tolerate. She did it well.

  34. AriesMatt says

    The only reason I knew what she was talking about was because I (we gay folks) already knew she was gay. I was watching this with my elderly parents and had to explain to them what happened. Regardless of “how” she did it, she DID it and on NATIONAL TV LIVE! Good for her! Now she can truly be herself and get rid of all the speculation.

    I wish her a happy and fulfilled life (more so than she already has)!

  35. Al says

    She mocked those who actually came out before her, and put their careers on the line, making it as though they shouldn’t have had to. Jodie, go away, and shack up with your real partner, Mel Gibson.

  36. Jake says

    I find it ironic that those of you watching the Golden Globes to see actors and directors win awards for their performances and couldn’t understand a highbrow coming out speech? Yeah okay.

  37. Tom221 says

    Good for her. She did a great job handling that. Obviously very nervous, as I’m sure it pissed a lot of people off. Esp. the still closeted celebrities.

    But, wtf is up with the audio dropouts???

  38. Randy says

    I am so over famous celebrities complaining about their lack of privacy. You’ll notice that it got a big round of applause from the audience, many of whom are famous actors.

    Look — if you want to be a big movie star, a lack of privacy is part of the job. It’s one of the reasons you earn millions of dollars for a movie role.

    There are thousands of actors working and toiling that few people know exist, and they have privacy. But then, they aren’t earning millions of dollars working the community theater circuits.

    If privacy is so important to you, Jodie, here is what you do. You quit Hollywood and move to another part of the country. It’s actually quite easy to do — many other actors have made the choice. But you can’t have your cake and eat it too — you want all the trappings of a major movie career, but you don’t want all the hassle. Imagine a garbage collector saying he wants to collect garbage but shouldn’t have to deal with all the smells. You don’t like, then change it!

    You always have a choice, Jodi — go quietly in to the night, or be a big hollywood muckymuck If you want the million dollar roles, then you have to feed the public.

  39. David says

    She came out in her own way to the Globes crowd and she is entitled to do that – I heard a fierce need for privacy up front before acknowledging the loves in her life – I applaud her honesty and gutsiness. After all the expectation buzz has died down and people listen to what she really said, I think more people will support her. She was stunning!!

  40. Lawrence says

    What I heard from Jodie Foster was “I’ve been deeply closeted to the public all my life and for some reason I feel the need to come out now, albeit in a coy and semi-resentful fashion. Oh and I’ve already been out since I was very young but not to the public where it could have helped thousands of struggling LGBT kids. But yes I’m loud and proud and oh yeah what about PRIVACY?” Privacy is one thing, but actively hiding is another matter altogether. Let’s not try to pass one off as the other, it’s just insulting.

  41. Lane says

    All I will say on this is she is from a different generation. Actors/Actress under 35 are living by a different set of rules and know that if you want to be popular and sell tickets for movies/music people have to want to follow and buy into your mystic. No one goes to watch movies like Twilight because they think it is a good story; they go for the actors/actresses in it. These days there is no such thing as privacy because of social media and everyone having a camera on their phones. Before social media the only way to really come out was through print media. Now we have the web and social media and younger generations use it get their message across. Actors starting out who are really private and do not use social media or carry favor with gossip blogs/magazines will not be cast as a lead gay or straight for a project because it is feared no one would show up or watch.

  42. Joey Y says

    Looking at the rude comments on this board shows something REALLY shameful: living up to the basest bitchy stereotypes. Shameful, and embarrassing to me as a gay man to even be associated with such garbage.

  43. FunMe says

    I don’t understand Jodie. They love her here in Hollywood. She has great respect as an actress and more. WHY in 2012 is she still SCARED? Yeah she sort of came out, but really, she just showed her fear and NON bravery. I understand those just starting their acting careers, but Jodie has been around for a long time in the acting profession with great success stories. Why would she care about coming out as a lesbian?

    It’s great she’s sorta coming out … but seriously. At 50 years and with so many years in the acting profession, and still she’s scared.


    Hope one day she will finally be true to herself and be free to just be herself.

  44. AriesMatt says

    I have to re-post this comment from Brian in Valdosta on JoeMyGod, who perfectly articulated how I feel about this event:

    “I hope that each person leaving a comment here tonight (and afterwards) doesn’t forget that everyone has his/her own personality, and Jody’s is obviously a very private one. She was thrust into a very public life at a very young age and made her way the best she could.

    I thought that the speech was lovely and heartfelt and poignant and as publicly personal as she could manage, and I am thankful for it. It was obviously not easy for her. Let’s cut her some slack.

    Yes, I want to commend the courage of people like Ellen DeGeneres and Neil Patrick Harris, and Rosie O’Donnell and Ricky Martin and Rupert Everett, … and Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly who were really out in front. All those people – and so many more – helped pave the road on which Jodie was standing today. But here is Jodie Foster at age 50 today in 2013 making a very public declaration, and I salute her.”

  45. mark says

    Unfortunately looks like Jodie just made herself a relic of a bygone era in which stars are overly limited by cultural homophobia.

    She could have used the moment to take the focus off herself and celebrate how different things will be for the up and coming generation.

    That would have allowed the audience to celebrate her status as a pioneer.

    They seemed poised to do that…even waiting and disappointed to have missed the chance.

    So she missed the moment….this opens the door for younger women like her who are out to move onto the scene.

    In her favor….there is always tomorrow…and not every performance has to be award winning.

  46. nonapologies says

    I like Foster. I love her as an actor.

    This speech was a rambling mess. The people here claiming it was “complex” are delusional.

    The main problem with the speech is not that she came out. I am glad she did that. Its not even that she asks for privacy. That’s also fine.

    The main problem with the speech is that she attacked the coming out process as somehow bad.

    That there is something wrong with it. By extension that we should hide it. We forget. But half this country still doesn’t like gay people. In fact, in most countries in the world, the majority doesn’t like us.

    The problem with the speech is context. She seemed unaware of it outside of her own bubble. I don’t see why she needed to come out in such a manner.

    I assumed she was smarter than what I just saw. I will still watch her movies, because she’s talented.

    But she really did make coming out seem like a bad thing. That “privacy” here still means gay. I doubt any straight person thinks of their orientation as private. What’s private is who she’s dating. Not the gender of who she’s dating.

    The whole script: coming out equals invasion of privacy. Its foul. Its wrong. Because it suggests there is something wrong with being gay. I will take it was just messy, hopefully, because she really hadn’t thought through what she wanted to say even if it was written down. Because she didn’t understand what it means to some kid out there who is watching her on tv come out in such a messy way.

    Glad she came out. could have been done much better.

    You can all go back to pretending there wasn’t a problem with speech amongst those of you (some of whom read like publicists by the way) making such claims.

  47. EchtKultig says

    I really don’t give a hoot about Hollywood’s cult of personality. But I’m not a “bitchy queen” to point her whole speech has an undercurrent of pain and anger, and to inject a sort-of coming out into it didn’t help matters. She thinks she’s making fun of society but she’s really making fun of herself. Her awkward hamminess made it seem like an SNL skit from the late 1990s or something.

    I think it’s all about the follow up, now. She could make this whole thing seem less ridiculous now – and I’m not sure she has any interest in doing so – by appearing on Ellen, perhaps, with a follow up interview.

  48. EchtKultig says

    Nonapologies I hadn’t read your comment when I posted from page 1 but reading it now, it seems to dovetail with what I said. She thought she could somehow deconstruct the whole notion of coming out, but it backfired. Either say “I’m lesbian and because of my desire for privacy, I haven’t been able to say that until now” or don’t even go there.

  49. toomanybooks says

    @nonapologies: I didn’t see it as her attacking “coming out.” She said that she came out years ago, to the people she knew. She didn’t feel that she needed to share this with the people she didn’t know. And the thing is, if she *were* straight, we wouldn’t care as much who she was in a relationship with, and it wouldn’t be a big deal that she wanted to keep her relationships private.

    Not that I don’t understand the importance of being a public figure and being out – I absolutely do and am generally of the opinion that visibility is important, etc – but we should give her the same respect of privacy we give boring heterosexual actors, as she has never wanted to be an activist or spokesperson, and not every gay person is that/wants that.

  50. iban4yesu says

    @ Randy,
    The best comment so far!
    Why are you gheys so besotted/enarmored w/ Hollywood like this?
    It’s not a redundant question.
    As we speak, so many homeless gay youth who got kicked out of their home for being who they are, are selling their asses for a few bucks just to survive, and these people are getting millions of dollars for what? :
    “The Brave One”: Guns are the answers. Revenge, getting even with more violence.
    “The Silence of Lamb”: Trannies are evil.
    “Sommersby”: Totally pointless, unnecessary remake of the perfectly fine The Return of Martin Guerre.

    For a good part, her speech is mixed with so much of the sense of entitlement, and resentful. It kinda overshadows the later personal thanks AND the drive-by coming out part.

    Just equally impressive! I totally concur!

  51. JDF says

    Sorry, Toto: Foster introduced her *female* co-parent, who happens to have a male-sounding moniker: Cydney Bernard.

    I’m also with Remote Patrolled, it’s disheartening that she seems to find the act of coming out publicly so distasteful. It felt to me that she was filtering this “announcement” (or whatever she meant it to be) through a lens of 50 years of internalized homophobia. It didn’t help that her bosom buddy, Holocaust-denier anti-Semite Mel Gibson, sat there gazing up at her like an infatuated drunk. He looked absolutely terrible.

    After watching the speech through 3 times, I’m torn between admiring her for being such a human mess of contradictions and wanting to say “if your privacy is so important to you, shut up and sit down and stop courting attention.” It sure reads like a moment with which Foster felt true ambivalence; I’d love her to be a rainbow-flag waving gay champion–and fully understand that was never her job to be that for me or anyone else.

    Fascinating television, but nowhere near a revelation any of us should be crowing about.

  52. FunMe says

    2 great posts:

    – Randy | Jan 14, 2013 12:33:32 AM
    – NONAPOLOGIES | JAN 14, 2013 1:24:37 AM

    Jodie did herself an disservice by criticizing others who came out and doing a half “coming out”.

    She got an an award. She should have simply said “thank you for honoring my work”. Instead, she went deeper in the closet with her half coming out and criticizing other who have been BRAVE to be themselves.

    Jodie is a disgrace. Yeah, she doesn’t owe me anything, and I and others do not owe her anything either as we will NOT watch her movies she stars or directs. She wants to be private? Chose another profession. Gosh, she is a disgrace!

  53. johnosahon says

    All you haters need to STAND BACK, Jodie has finally come out, which is what you all wanted, and the first thing you do is criticize instead of congratulate. Which person (whether celebrity or the average Joe) has ever come out in the “perfect” way? From Ricky to Patrick all were rumored and never came out until they were comfortable (heck all pretended to be straight, they had fake girlfriends, even your heroes Ellen and Rosie covered by talking about how they wanted to sleep with Tom Cruise), leave the woman alone, CONGRATS to you Jodie for coming out on your own terms

  54. Paul R says

    It’s completely beyond me how anyone finds this speech angry and argue that she didn’t come out. How do you take issue with the line, “I don’t want to give a big coming out speech”? Would a straight actor say that? It means, I’m gay and I don’t want to talk about it all the time. How many straight women thank their female partner of 20 years?

    Some of you need to work on issues of your own.

  55. sara says

    I agree with @nonapologies. I was in the next room when I heard her on TV and my reaction was, what’s Jodie Foster so angry about and how much was she drinking anyways?

    I’m glad that Towleroad could figure out from that rambling mess of a speech that she came out because I also thought that she was just attacking the coming out process.

    I thought her speech was incomprehensible and inarticulate. Instead she could have done as Michael Musto suggests: “All I can say is I love Jodie’s work and understand the pressures she’s been through since child stardom. Also, I’m glad she never faked an opposite-sex partner or tried to convince the public she was straight.

    But instead of this cockamamie speech, she could have just said “Yep, I’m gay.” Twenty years ago.”

  56. Devonasa says

    I’m not understanding how she is scared, or being held back?

    Does her family not know? Does her freinds not know? Does her co-workers not know? Is she pretending to date men?

    Everyone in her life who matters to HER, knows. She has a family, she had a female partner..her saying “I’m Gay” doesn’t strengthen that, nor does her not saying “I’m gay” belittle that. The same people that are being callously bitter about her speech are the same ones who complain about the “I’m Gay” covers on People Magazine, or Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka being so open about their relationship.

    There was NOTHING in that speech that lead me to think she was anything other than gay.

  57. sara says

    If your viewing and listening audience cannot determine what you’re trying to say, then you’ve done a poor job. This does not mean that anyone is attacking poor put upon Jodie Foster. But if that was her coming out, then she did a piss poor job of articulating it.

    You have news outlets like the LA Times writing: “One of the most stunning moments came courtesy Jodie Foster, who took to the stage to give a … retirement speech? A coming-out speech? It was hard to tell… Even backstage, talking face-to-face with the media, she was cryptic about what, exactly, she was trying to say with her speech. (Memo to Foster: Nothing will destroy an attempt at privacy like telling the world you want to keep your life private.)”

  58. notice says

    I think that anyone who hears that speech and thinks it sounds angry is nuts.

    This is a lovely heartfelt speech.

    Do you think her “anger” moved people to tears?

    Duh get a grip.

  59. notice says

    After reading more posts is seems clear people posting mostly just have a comprehension problem.

    Jodi was first explaining the context of what it is to be in show business your entire life. Being in the public eye from the time you are 3 makes it a little hard to determine when to come out. Growing up in the 1970’s also made it hard to come out if your were a public figure. Being a public figure made her value privacy even more. For whatever reason she felt the need to explain and justify herself to all the angry gay people who have always wanted her to come out. But even that wasn’t enough for the haters. I personally thought it was a lovely insight into her reasoning for keeping her sex life private for the first half of her career. Clearly she now feels there is enough public benefit to justify coming out and sacrificing more of her privacy. She wants her sons to be proud of her and know that she isn’t ashamed to be a lesbian. Sorry for all the slow people who can’t understand humor and obvious words like her referring to herself as having “come out to her family and friends a million years ago…”

    What are you a bunch of ignorant 3 year olds?

  60. Ryan says

    I’m having a hard time understanding how people missed the coming out part. She said, “I hope that you’re not disappointed that there won’t be a big ‘coming out’ speech tonight because I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago…” Then later, she said, “I am so proud of our modern family” when talking about her two sons and Cydney. Are people really so thick that you have to spell it all out for it to have happened? I guess if you don’t have a “Hey everybody! I’m gay!” moment, some people won’t be satisfied. Hell, even if she had said that, you’d have people here complaining that she waited too long, “we already knew *yawn*,” etc. etc.

    I didn’t think she sounded bitter or angry, just nervous.

  61. FunMe says

    One more time, you don’t want to come out. DO NOT! But don’t go around criticizing others who have come out and are SO HAPPY to be themselves and go back to the business of JUST BEING.

    Jodie palls around with homophobes like Mel Gibson. That speaks volumes on whom she wants to be associated with.

    Look, she’s 50. OK, so that means when she was born in 1963 and she was 21 in 1984. Now that was a time when for gay MALES it was hard because of AIDS. But for female lesbians, what problem were they having? Come on Jodie! You could have simply thank the Golden Globes for your award and say you were very happy for everyone in the “industry” accepting you for who you were. Case Closed.

    But nooooooooooooo! She had to go around criticizing BRAVE GLBTs who came out before her. She really is a disgrace. She could have been someone who said she is glad or who she is but as an “entitled” Hollywood gal, she thinks she is better than everyone else. I am SO over her. Again, she doesn’t owe me anything, and no one owes her anything … i.e., NO ONE should go to her next movie anyomore.

    Geez! This was her time to shine and she messed it up!

  62. Buster says

    What nonsense you people write!

    Jodie Foster owes you NOTHING! Like every other person in the world she has the right to come out loudly, privately, ambiguously or not at all, regardless of what benefit her being “out” might offer to others.

    Between the emotional abuse of childhood fame and the nightmare of having her college years twisted by a man who shot the President to try to get her notice, by the age of 20 she suffered an extraordinary degree of public “fame” based entirely upon the actions of other people. It is idiotic to to suggest that as an adult she might have reasonably chosen to make MORE of her life public.

    And until YOU start winning some major televised awards, frankly I have no interest in your opinion about what an “appropriate” acceptance speech should be.

    Sure – I found her speech to be odd, nervous and seemingly poorly-crafted and poorly performed. (Frankly, I’m not sure that she was speaking to the viewing pubic – it may have been a speech that was directed more to her friends, colleagues and family.) But I generally like Ms. Foster and hope that she went home happy and satisfied with what she said. If you don’t like her, you can hope the opposite. Other than that, it really doesn’t matter what we think.

  63. Ryan says

    She isn’t dissing anyone who publicly came out specifically. She is alluding what “celebrity” now means in general. She hinted at reality shows (hence the Honey Boo Boo reference), releasing a fragrance, etc. She’s going after people like Kim Kardashian who take their 15 minutes of fame and run with it, oversharing every miniscule detail about their personal lives on TV and in 140 characters on Twitter.

    Based on this reaction, it’s amazing to me that anyone would want to come out. You’d think the LGBT community would embrace her for doing so in her own way, in her own time, when she was ready. Instead she’s being attacked and called names because people here aren’t satisfied with her wording, or her timing, or what she may or may not have implied about other LGBT celebrities.

  64. FunMe says

    RY RYAN … oh SHUT UP with your stupid “she doesn’t owe you anything”. Yeah, and we don’t owe Jodie anything, meaning we will NEVER watch any of her stupid movie anymore!

    Jodie had a chance to shine, but once again, as an ENTITLED Hollywood “queen”, she decides she is better than anyone. “F!” her … she can go on and be friend with the HOMOPHOBE Mel Gibson … WE. DON’T.CARE!

    Let her “pall around with Hollywood homophobes” … she doesn’t owe us anything. AND we don’t owe her anything either. I.E. we will NOT go to her movies anymore!!!!

  65. LIZA says

    @RYAN: You captured exactly what she was talking about in regards to what we view as a celebrity and what it means to be “famous”. The Honey Boo Boo’s and Kardashian family have really added nothing to our world. Why are they famous?

    Most of you forget her history. When a nutjob tries to kill a prez (and injures many in the process) just to get your attention, you tend to be little reluctant to be in the spotlight all the time, especially when it comes to your family and your personal life. Get a grip guys. People come out in their own way, not your way!

  66. LIZA says

    FUNME: why don’t YOU shut up and get over your bitterness. Who made you judge and jury? You are so angry over nothing in the grand scheme of things, it’s an awards show speech! She kind of proves her point about celebrity…you are so mad at her because she is famous and doesn’t live up to your standard. Get over it. Plus, who cares what a b*tchy, angry little queen like you thinks? Boo hoo, you won’t watch any more of her movies, I’m sure she doesn’t give a flying fig about that. Nor do we.

  67. Buster says

    FUNME, I very sorry that Ms. Foster disappointed you tonight. I’m quite certain that your sense of how she should run her life is something she thinks about often. Perhaps, with a little luck she will eventually learn how to “shine” for you. If she gets good at that, she may even start to win some awards!

    As for her friendship with Mel Gibson … well, from the press reports he sounds like a unhappy, dull-witted bigot. (I deliberately avoid his films.) But few of us are completely evil or completely good, and it’s nice to know we live in a world where even silly bitter dull-wits have people who care about them. I mean, I bet YOU have friends, right?

    PS – In your earlier post you referenced the role of “female lesbians” in Ms. Foster’s generation. You may also want to consider the effect of the fact that Ms. Foster is both a “white Caucasian” and a “middle-aged 50 year old.”

  68. V-8 says

    just like with Anderson Cooper, damned if u do it, damned if u don’t…

    no matter what she did, this thread would have as many negative comments, because some people cannot just be happy, for others or themselves…

    with people like u, I’d wait to come out too…

    I think she did a great job, and wonder if she cursed during the bleeped section, like they bleeped Ben Affleck….

    Jodie, I love u…. I still remember a spring day in NYC, Chelsea to be exact, u were walking ur dog and I literally ran into u as I chatted with a friend… I apologized and u touched my arm lightly and smile and said no problem, and I thought “what a lovely woman”…. and then my friend was like “OMG, that was Jodie Foster” (and if that was u, which I am 99% sure it was, u were walking with a woman friend)…

    that is how I see u, as beautiful and kind and light….

    if anyone has ever given a speech in front of a large crowd of ur peers (as I have), no matter how many times u have done it, how prepared u r, it is a nerve-wrecking experience… may u be as successful one day to experience what she experienced…

    well done, Jodie, thank u and congrats!

  69. Bill says

    What she said about her mother and her family was very moving and real A few queens on this site should take note of that rather than their disappointment in how she expressed her sexuality.

  70. John says

    Jodie Foster is a tremendously talented actress who I revere and respect, and even more so enjoy as an entertainer and actor. I was baffled by her rambling and almost incoherent speech, but I am certainly not anyone to judge.

    She looks amazing, and I very much hope to see her in new movies in the future. I really do not care if she is a lesbian, as I will never sleep with her. If she wishes to be a definitive part of the gay community, she need do no more in my eyes, but it would be nice if an actress of her stature would have the ability to politely and succinctly articulate herself and be more clear if she is telling us she is gay.

  71. stephen lucas says

    Jodie has always been about Jodie. I don’t necessarily think she has to be an ambassador for the cause but others have been less selfish than her. If Jodie were to retire and never be seen again, I wouldn’t miss her.

  72. ratbastard says


    Why the hate? Because they’re angry, nasty, smug [censored B-word]. The biggest issue I dealt with as a young gay man [teenager] was trying to deal with and get along with the large number of gay men [see above description] who are so prominent in the gay ‘community’. They’re literally like a clique of nasty teenage girls in a suburban high school. I’ve never had a personal problem with being gay, but I’ve always and still do have big problems with the large number of [censored B-word] in the so-called gay ‘community’, and among many of the gay men trotted out before the general public as representative of gay men. For the longest time when I was a kid I though I was the only gay guy who wasn’t fem, campy, [censored B-word], into sh*tty tween ‘music’, obsessed with gossip about female celebrities, a fashionista, … I was a regular guy who was gay. There are few if any human beings more capable of nastiness than a certain type of gay male [censored B-word]. If you’re that type, a big F.U. from me. Funny thing is when I was a rough and pretty young twink [and still do today to an extent but phuk I’m in my mid 30s now, ancient by gay standards] I had to beat these mother effers off with a 2×4 … most may hate ‘str8 acting’ guys, but they sure are obsessed with festishizing them.

  73. paul morgan says

    maybe my dog heard it but i missed a lot in this speech? let me begin by saying i have adored this woman for years and have often been in awe of her profound acting ability, however, in the wake of a painfully awkward speech at the Golden Globes, i have to ask, “where’s the uber confident Jodie Foster of years past”? was all that bravada simply an act? was her public persona a mere pantomime of an accomplished professional with unwavering self confidence? more importantly, what has become of her lifelong commitment to her “privacy”?

    i suppose one could spin her past behavior as a matter of personal “privacy”, but if so, what has changed? why come “OUT” now? why not continue to keep her ‘dirty’ little secret ~ for indeed, she seems to have believed there was something unsavory, or unmentionable about the woman who she had shared her life, and with whom she has borne and raised children? where’s the mention in her glib, self conscious speech of the larger picture of persistent prejudice, abuse, and injustice that people less socio-economically elite than she suffer ever day, in every corner of this country?

    we get it Jodie, you like you! you really really like YOU!

    as for me, you can keep your damn dirty secret if it’s been so important for you to hide your true identity, camouflaged as it has been, in a calculated public web spun of tacit lies and subterfuge all these years. did the partner she professedly loved, her “soul mate” – deserve to be treated like a dirty secret? in contrast to her, and other LGBT artists in her ‘industry’, no one has ever accused carny royalty cohorts Benifer or BradJolina of “rubbing their sexuality in our faces”. by contrast, their most important personal relationships are celebrated, or more appropriately, simply taken for granted. THAT is the difference. THAT is the problem. THAT is the essence of our collective struggle for LGBT civil rights and basic human dignity. in what is widely speculated as both a coming out AND retirement announcement, Ms. Foster is risking precious little in her rambling and cryptic stage soliloquy.

    gone is the inimitable steely resolve and gracious composure that once unsuccessfully masked a not so subtle superiority and arrogance for her peers. in it’s place, we see a chicly coiffed, sartorially splendid but nervous, uncertain, stumbling, and vaguely neurotic woman who inexplicably takes pot shots at the courageous men and women of principle that came OUT before her ~ brave men and women, who in so doing, risked their careers, and courted the most vehement public backlash!

    the ever gracious, generous, self effacing, yet endearingly courageous Ellen ‘Degenerate’ made herself the target of ridicule, attacks, and salacious slander for the entire Conservative Christian hegemony. in coming out, she also never took a pot shots at other people! does Ellen have a fragrance? does Neil Patrick harris have a reality show? is Wanda Sykes personal life and family a joke? while the extraordinarily talented Foster was feathering her own very ‘private’ lavender nest, others were doing the heavy lifting in the fight for her and her lovers rights, and civil liberties.

    maybe Jodie Foster should have rehearsed this speech in front of someone slightly more coherent, less phobic, more emotionally stable, more self aware, sober, and lucid than Mel Gibson?

    epic fail. stunning disappointment.

  74. Oliver says

    from the NYTimes:

    In one of the evening’s few moments of free fall, Jodie Foster, receiving the Cecil B. DeMille award, sparkled, rambled and lost sound briefly, perhaps blipped out, just as she was making a remark about her private life. “I am, ah, single,” Ms. Foster said after a buildup promising a big revelation. She turned it all into a plea for privacy, and a promise to continue making her mark. “Jodie Foster was here, I still am,” she said. “Here’s to the next 50 years.”

  75. AJ says

    It was a bit rambling and messy. You could tell she was nervous. I still found her words extremely heartfelt and the award was well-deserved. I did not find it bitter at all. She has never NOT been famous. I can’t imagine that. And for the most part she has handled it with more grace and dignity than any other celebrity alive. Kudos to her. And the haters can bite me.

  76. Rae says

    Jodie has always talked about her children. She’s always talked about her mom. I remember seeing pictures of her with the children on a beach in Hawaii while she was with Cydney–who was conveniently left out of the photos. If privacy was truly what she wanted she wouldn’t have talked about her kids and mom, or allowed the kids to be photographed. While I’m happy she came out, I’m really tired of closeted celebrities who scream “privacy” when it comes to their sexuality, but then talk about everything else.

  77. Lars says

    That was an awesome speech, actually. Far better than the usual awards-show laundry list of thank-yous. And far more creative and impactful than the now-rote proclamation of “I’m gay” on a magazine cover.

    Congrats to Jodie, for doing things HER way. I gotta respect people who take a principled stand, and decline to align themselves with someone else’s program. Shows a true artistic impulse, in my opinion.

    And no, she wasn’t disparaging gay people who choose to follow the more ordinary formula for coming out. If anything she was mocking people who sell out their private selves on reality television.

  78. bALAN says

    I was most confused by her propping up of Mel Gibson, a devout homophobe. Altho he got train-wrecked and needs help from someone, you do have to wonder if Jodie enlightened his bigoted views.

    as for Jodie and her privacy, I’m positive John Hinkley forced her to hunker down and avoid this culture’s “need-to-know”.

  79. ChristopherM says

    Eff her. I hope Jane Lynch, Neil Patrick Harris. Zachary Quinto and all the others she so rudely compared to Honey Boo Boo tossed their drinks at her.

  80. Graphicjack says

    I’m surprised that out of maybe 75 or so comments, only five that I noticed reference John Hinkley, which I believe is the main reason why Jodie has been so wary of leaving the glass closet. Actors like Cruise and Travolta, with their fake marriages, are far more damaging and pathetic to anything Jodie’s ever done. She’s never pretended to be straight, she just couldn’t come out. And why is that? One – yes, it could very likely have damaged her career… She was big in the 70s and 80s especially when people disapproved more of gay people. Is that noble of her to hide? No, but it must have been much more pressure to stay closeted back then, and that pressure lingers. However, if it was only this that stopped her from coming out, I’d criticize her, mainly because at present day she rarely directs or stars in films anymore, and it seems an easier time for celebrities to come out, as it doesn’t seem to affect their careers.

    But let’s not forget the second, very powerful reason, she didn’t come out, or talk about her private life much at all – John Hinkley was a madman who shot Reagan and others in a desperate attempt to get Jodie to fall in love with him. Can you imagine what that must have been like for her??? She must have regretted her career in the first place that it could attract such nutcases to impress her… Then think of all the press scrutiny, when she was at Yale trying to study. Can you possibly imagine what that might have done to her, and why she’s hate the press and the cult of celebrity?

    Frankly, for any other sports star, movie star or other celebrity, I’d say, suck it up and come out. For Jodie ONLY, I’ve said, don’t worry about it dear, I understand. Madman assassin = free pass to the closet. No questions asked. Everyone just calm down, give the girl a break and even if the speech was confusing, be impressed that she did her best considering her whacky life.

  81. BETTY says

    To all those demanding Ms. Foster live up to your standard for coming out…please share your coming out extravaganza with us. Just because Jodie did not come out on the cover of People magazine for your own personal gratification you get your prissy panties in a bunch! If someone doesn’t confess to you in a worldwide press conference you take this as an afront to your sensibilities. Get over it. She is a notoriously private person (for good reason). Yeah, she never did a People cover story proclaiming her gayness, but she also didn’t hide it. This isn’t the first time she mentioned it at an awards show.

    @ChristopherM – those stars you mentioned all came out after being in the closet for most of their careers too (it was also no secret that most of them were gay). So, why do you give them a free pass?

  82. ChristopherM says

    Betty because they did come out without being coy about it. And Jodie got on stage last night and insulted them all by comparing them to a reality show mess. It was incredibly rude, and Jane Lynch looked like she was PISSED. I don’t blame her at all.

  83. AZEZPAT says

    @GRAPHICJACK: No, they can’t imagine anything beyond their pettiness. Being famous and in the entertainment industry apparently equals famewhore celebrity. Celebrities, in the era of Kim Kardasian, are nothing unless we get to see them having sex (or, at least, we get to hear about who they have sex with). Celebrities are for public consumption, and the cannibals on this blog are feasting. If they don’t behave exactly how we want, we trounce them as we misinterpret and vilify them. And they wonder why Foster treasures privacy…

  84. SoSeriouslyY says

    I love that she thanked her Mother and hoped that she would hear that she loved her. As someone who’s lost loved ones to Alzheimers, I can tell you it is a great pain, to have their body there when their consciousness is elsewhere, forever.

    I’m sorry she’s single, it’s tough when you’re 50 (and famous) to find true love. I hope she finds a great love. She certainly deserves it (a lot more than she deserves a lifetime achievement award – though the way Hollywood treats women it might be more honest to give them to any woman over 40).

    Thank you for your amazing work, but I don’t want to say goodbye. I want to say: Nice to see you, come on in, you’re welcome.

  85. BETTY says

    @Christopher: Jane Lynch always looks like she is pissed.

    Oh, it’s about coyness? Not as some people go on about on here “living a lie until they got rich and famous” like Jane, Doogie and Zach did? Look, everyone knew Jodie was gay, she didn’t hide it. Just because she didn’t proclaim her sexuality on a magazine cover or during a sit down interview with Barbara Walters she is less worthy of your approval and the approval of the whiny schoolgirls commenting here?? Got a wakeup call for your buddy, she doesn’t need it. Now go back to class before you get detention mean girl.

  86. ChristopherM says

    @Azezpat: I call BS on the privacy claim. You can’t trot out your kids, talk about your mother and then claim you want privacy when asked about being a lesbian. It is as disingenuous as Anderson Cooper when he would plead for privacy after having written a book about his brother’s suicide.

    Betty, you make that remark about Jane Lynch and call ME a mean girl? Trick, please. When someone only claims privacy over one portion of their life like she does, it implies shame, as does this business where everyone knows but she refuses to actually say it. I work with LGBT teens who because of bullying and isolation are up to seven times more likely to attemp suicide. Frankly, I couldn’t care less if she comes out. But I will always call out people who reinforce the image of shame that closet cases like her do.

  87. David says

    I’m sorry but she is a hot mess. There are plenty of out actors who did not hold a press conference or have a reality show and it’s rude to those pioneers to imply as such. And no one thinks a straight actors privacy is being breached if you simple know that they’re married or are dating someone of the opposite sex. Her whole mind set is in a completely heterosexist double standard.

  88. BETTY says

    Umm Christopher, it wasn’t a jab at her, that is the way she looks, that’s her shtick.

    Celebrities owe you nothing. There are plenty of gay leaders or examples in your local community who you can point to who set the benchmark for coming out and living to YOUR standard. You expect too much of those in Hollywood. Here is a thought, why don’t YOU set the example for those kids?

  89. EricD. says

    Man alive, you guys with the negative comments take PETTY to never-before-seen-heights. I thought that her speech was heartfelt and moving. She was acknowledging being gay, and she was not hedging around it, she just said it in her words. Get a life.

  90. ChristopherM says

    I do Betty, but when there are people in the media acting as though being queer is shameful, it is difficult to combat those messages. If she can’t be productive, she should have just gotten up there and thanked them for the award instead of acting like she took a hit of acid with a cat tranquilizer chaser giving her non-coming out speech.

  91. says

    to Betty’s point – everyone criticizing Foster is more than free to provide the URL to their own page, or youtube video, where they can put their own face and name to What Gay Is, in hopes of inspiring not only our youth, but the non-gay folks in our world who need to see more “representations” of us.

    yes, i understand and agree with a great many of the arguments about “eliteness” or “social rank”, and the security a high-financial standing can afford people. a Big Safety Net, if you will.

    but if anyone commenting on here is not yet able, as an adult, to themselves put a very visible and public face out there are an LGBT person, you might want to think twice for criticizing Foster.

    you can’t be mad at her for still dealing with, and grappling with, public perceptions of Identity when you’re still in the same boat.

    if nothing else, i’m glad this speech happened as it will hopefully open up a greater dialogue about Coming Out in different social classes, with varying levels of privilege.

  92. BETTY says

    Christopher: are you looking at the same video?! Jane has a smile on her face (at 3:10 in the first video above). She does NOT look like she was pissed! If you see that as a look of being pissed, maybe you need to look inward at yourself. Or, just quit making things up.

  93. BETTY says

    YUPP maybe stereotypical, petty and childish comments like that were one of the reasons she didn’t make a big deal about her sexuality. Who wants to deal with buffoons like you? Maybe, just maybe she wanted to be known for her accomplishments and her body of work? Actress/director Jodie Foster, not “flannel loving, carpet munching, lezzie actress/director Jodie Foster” as ignorant buffoons the homophobes of this world will see her.

  94. BETTY says

    @STEVE and others: why does she have to say the words “I’m gay”? She is not standing up at some AA meeting with a feeling of guilt and shame admitting she has a problem! Why do some gay people need a drama queen confession? She isn’t being interrogated and admitting a crime. She’s gay. Old news. In the speech last night she said she came out to her friends and family years ago, she also confirmed she had a girlfriend for some 20 years…what more do you want her to say to prove she is a lesbian? Those two words? As if using only those two words is the only way you can truly come out? She proved it last night in her speech that you can come out YOUR OWN WAY. Honestly, get over yourselves. No wonder she didn’t make a big deal about her sexuality, you guys are drama with a capital D.

  95. Yupp says

    LOL. Okay, okay, Betty. It WAS childish. But everybody’s making such a big deal over this. She’s hardly been in the closet. And actually, I didn’t watch it (I’m surprised that many people DO watch those dumb award shows where all those self-congratulatory people are clapping for themselves), but I think (from the photos) she looks great.

  96. coexxi says

    I think the speech was beautiful. She seemed a little bit nervous but not angry. Everybody knew for years that she is gay. She never lived a lie.

    And really: I hate it when people claim that actors who are famous have to “give up” their privacy. Some are obviously giving it up, show up on hotspots and appear wherever there is some smoke. Other you only see when the promote something. And it is their right! To be angry at the ones who don’t want to give this up has a stalkerish note.

  97. Alfred says

    I’m in the group of people who didn’t agree with her speech. It is not about me judging her manner of coming out. I am not saying she should come out ala Lance Bass or via any reality program. She was the one who started pointing finger. She was the one who mentioned Honey Boo Boo and reality show. She was the one who didn’t want to conform to public expectation on how to come out and she bloody blamed it on the rest of us. It’s fine if she wanted to stay true to her privacy and shut up about her sexuality. People wouldn’t have “attacked” her if she didn’t mock others’ coming out at the first place.

    I’d like to also point out that it’s a room full of class-A actors and actresses – therefore squeezing out tears and being emotional aren’t exclusively being touched but just auditions. And if you’ve missed it, there were people who were dumbfounded too.

    Also, actors aren’t paid millions for their acting skills. Just look at how the world’s best actress, Meryl Streep, is paid compared to Julia Roberts or Jennifer Aniston.

    The biggest incoherence of Jodie’s speech was how she wanted to be seen and understood deeply (her words exactly). Unless she’s gonna pull a Kris Jenner by timing the publishing of her tell-all autobiography, defending privacy is the furthest thing away from being seen and understood deeply. You’re an actor – we won’t be able to understand you coz all you do is play characters but yourself. It is through gossip magazines that we know you in private!

  98. BETTY says

    To the Christoper’s and Paul Morgans of this board:

    “Foster explained that her delay wasn’t based in shame, but in the fact that she came of age when there was a larger premium on privacy.”

    In other words, as opposed to today where the Honey Boo Boo’s, Kardashians, Lohan’s, Spears’, Jersey Shore, Kate and her brood of 8 and the rest are exposong everything in the name of fame. That was her point.

    She’s gay. We’ve known for a long time she is gay. Now it is “official”. Get over it.

  99. DAN says

    Some of you guys here are like that one distant friend who, when you finally tell her/him you are gay, they make it all about them. “I always knew you were gay but I’m pissed you didn’t tell me sooner!!!!” Well guess what? I told you when I WANTED TO TELL YOU. It’s not up to you to make that decision.

  100. says

    I don’t disagree with a lot of what she said. I think a more nuanced and discerning discussion of sociological specifics; of privilege, of safety, and of “social class” are very much needed in this discussion about Coming Out.

    one need not have a press-conference to be openly gay.

    just like when some guys say things along the lines of, uh, “Why do say i need to tattoo rainbows on my face and scream I”M GAY from the rooftops!”

    nobody is saying you have to do any of that. i’m as gay as the day is long, and i’ve never tattooed anything on my face nor screamed ‘Im GAY” from any rooftops.

    what I am is Out, and from the place of privilege I was lucky enough to be born into i’ve made a very conscious choice to not let any opportunities pass by when I can put a Face to What Gay Is.

    not everyone will choose to do this. some will live with varying “levels” of Outness. some people consider themselves Out because the people they know in their immediate day-to-day life know. some people consider themselves Out because they’re Out to the guys they secretly have sex with in part of their double-life.

    Foster acknowledged this years ago, publicly. sure, she didnt’ say “i’m a lesbian” – and her not doing so raises many valid questions, for both sides of each argument.

    what we don’t say is as telling as what we do say. our inactions oft speak as loudly as our actions.

    i remember years and years ago, after I’d Come Out, suddenly being aware of not wanting a certain group of people to “know” – mainly because they’d hounded me with anti-gay slurs as a child.
    why? i was still caring far too deeply about their perceptions, and the fury of “them being right” about something that had upset me for so long. not wanting to “lose” a battle I could never win in the first place; the irony being that being proud of being openly gay i was in fact winning. but try telling that to me at 21.

    Foster is a brilliant intellectual. Her mother, it sounds like, is in the final chapters of perhaps senile dementia. foster’s brother released a grubby tell-all years ago, Outing foster as lesbian or possible bisexual. i can understand her need to control aspects of her public perception. i may not agree with them, but i can understand them.

    we all carry with us the baggage of our own experiences, and if nothing else i hope this speech of hers opens a great dialogue for ALL of us.

  101. RobF says

    That was coming out? Did I miss something? I just thought it was a frickin’ weird wandering mess of a speech by any standard.

    I love Jody, but that speech was terrible and it certainly was NOT a coming out.

  102. StillMarriedinCA says

    For those who say she was already out and “everyone knew she was gay”–why did she come out last night then? Clearly she didn’t think she was out already…to the public.
    What is so very uncool is to make fun of others who have come out before. She basically equated coming out publically with being Honey Boo Boo. According to her it means having a reality TV show and a fragrance. NONE of the previous brave celebs who have come out have done any of those things. What they did do was come out (with varying degrees of dignity) by being unafraid of saying the words “I’m gay” and giving young struggling LGBT kids another reason not to kill themselves.
    She thinks the only options are be closeted or be Honey Boo Boo? There are several other options in between. She seemed bitter and hostile to those who have made it possible for her to come out now.
    And to equate acknowledging your orientation with a loss of privacy smacks of shame and embarrassment. How many straight people do you know who refuse to say they are straight for fear of giving up too much privacy? Who deliberately refuse to thank their partner (until fairly recently) when they get an award because it lets the world in on too much of their secret life?
    She doesn’t have to come out according to my wishes. But she deserves criticism for mocking others who were a lot braver than she.
    And don’t assume that the folks on here are asking her to do anything that they haven’t already done. I came out in 1978. It wasn’t that hard and I never regretted it for one second. She has had at least 20 years of a much better atmosphere.
    And last thing: don’t bring anti-semitic, homophobic, assh*le Mel Gibson as your date if you have any respect for yourself or others.

  103. BETTY says


    “For those who say she was already out and “everyone knew she was gay”–why did she come out last night then?”

    Actually, according to some on here she didn’t truly come out yet. It’s not enough for them. They don’t think she has really come out until she says “I’m gay”. Others, like me, thinks she just confirmed what we all knew and what she has already adressed, yes, she is gay. As she said: “I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago, back in the stone age.”

    It’s something we already knew since she made no secret about living with a woman for 20 years. Didn’t hide it from friends and co-workers. She also confirmed it when she made that awards show speech acknowledging her lover 6 years ago.

    It is some on this board who expect her to do some dramatic coming out experience culminating in the words “I’m gay” at a national press conference. Her point with her comments that you object to about the way others have come out is that she doesn’t have to, or need to do a public coming out just so you guys can be happy. She has lived her life as a lesbian, has already let us now that (again, 6 years ago), YOU are the one that wants more. She wasn’t criticizing people who have come out before her, she said celebrities don’t have to make every detail of their life a spectacle like the reality shows she cited. Not just coming out, but their personal lives in general. Did you not understand the quote?

  104. Mary says

    Damn it, Kiwi, that last post was beautiful. I don’t care if you aren’t going to respond to me or if you think I’m a bore – I’m still saying it! When you ease up on the anger and venom-spitting, your posts are one of the main pleasures of visiting Towleroad.

    Jodie probably made the right decision in not being so openly gay during most of her career. Has anyone here commented yet that once an actress passes 35 she has limited options to choose from in the roles she’s offered? Also, Jodie always played the tomboy, then the cynical fast-lane woman. Being seen as “a gay actress” (rather than an actress who happens to be gay) would have limited her even more.

  105. Mary says

    As for Jodie supposedly making fun of other gay people’s coming out stories being super-vocal – it may be rude or snarky, but she’s always had a streak of this in her, even as a teen and young woman. As a young teen she said that Shirley Temple “made me barf.” When Hinkley mentioned her in relation to his attempt to assasinate Reagan, she said “Why me? Why not Brooke Sheilds?” Tact was never her forte. I don’t think she’s nearly as much of a rebel as she imagines herself to be, but my point is that she’s famous for these off-the-cuff remarks that are a bit mean..

  106. JUSTaThought says

    And there you have it. The people who have no problem with Jodie’s speech are in agreement with Mary, Ratbastard, and some of the other regulars on here who are always on the wrong side of every issue. The people who, if we took their advice, would set gay rights back decades and would banish anybody who doesn’t conform to their ideal of “straight acting” from the city streets. The folks who always stand on the side of, and make excuses for, those who are in the closet. I rest my case.

  107. jamal49 says

    Amen to the “privacy” shout-out, Jody. In this YouTube, cellphone-cam, TMZ-stick-your-nose-in-everybodys-business age where privacy is an old-fashioned, even quaint, commodity, I am glad that you decided to confront with grace and eloquence all the Michael Signorile wicked witch busybodies of the world and give them a rhetorical slap across their bitchy little faces.

  108. says

    Or perhaps, “Justathought”, people are allowing room for nuance.

    at the end of the day, this is what i’m dealing with most when i think about Foster’s speech: the privacy she values is a luxury not all LGBT people are so lucky to be afforded.

    the lesbian in uganda. the effeminate gay boy in small town america.

    through the privilege of Privacy and the Ability to “Pass” the anti-gay targets are placed squarely between the shoulders of those who cannot, or will not, “blend in”.

    i’ve been reading a lot of different varying opinions on Foster’s speech today.

    I also read a piece about Growing Up Gay in Iran (everyone – do yourselves a favour and read it)

    some people will continue to greatly value their own privacy, whatever that may mean to them.

    others will think about how much they could help other people by no longer thinking about keeping their orientation a “private thing”

    rather than spend any more time thinking about whether or not Jodie Foster is right or wrong, or why, I’m simply going to be very thankful today for Harvey Fierstein, Quentin Crisp, Audre Lorde, Rick Mercer, Ellen DeGeneres and others who were there to inspire and empower me when I needed it most.

    There’s a world of “Closeted” people whose disguises consist of outright anti-gay prejudice; throwing us all into lakes of fire so that nobody will notice their dirty-little-secrets.

    so while i may feel that Foster is from a place of privilege, where a simple “Yep, I’m Gay” could have empowered many in our communities, I’m also aware that in the grand scheme of things it’s not like we’re talking about Roy Cohn.

    and again, anyone who feels she did it wrong is more than free to make their own youtube video and put a face to what you feel should have been said.

  109. JUSTaThought says

    If “privacy” means you don’t thank your partner at an awards ceremony while every straight actor does then I think it is just a cover for being afraid, ashamed, self loathing, or all of the above.
    Plenty of actors have “privacy” yet we know their sexual orientation.
    DeNiro, Streep, Hoffman, and countless others don’t give away an awful lot about their home life. But we do know their sexual orientation. That is something that one does not need to keep “private” unless one thinks it is somehow bad.
    Zachary Quinto is out, makes an occasional statement in support of gay rights, yet I know nothing of his personal life. It can be done with dignity and grace without sacrificing your truly private life. Jodie still doesn’t get it.

  110. BETTY says

    Who says I “want to hit it”? Thanks Christopher, being called insane by someone who is clearly an expert is flattering. You say you work with LGBT teens? For their sake I hope you cut your judgemental holier than though attitudewhen dealing with them!

  111. says

    to justathought’s point – i’m obsessed with jon stewart. i get OFF to the daily show. and all i know about him is that he’s married and has kids. that’s about all.

    i think of being a closeted gay kid in schools. many in teaching professions choose to keep that part of them a secret. that part being a secret didn’t help me at age 11. i was the school f@g. seeing a living example of Another Gay Person could have been a great thing for me back then.

  112. BETTY says

    JUSTATHOUGHT: She did acknowledge her girlfriend specifically and by name and talked about her at an awards show 6 years ago! Where were you? How do you know that in the years prior Jodie didn’t mention her in a casual way in acceptance speeches and nobody outside of Hollywood knew who she was? Or, maybe the woman just didn’t WANT to be publicly acknowledged? Maybe she didn’t want to be in the spotlight or was in the closet herself. Some partners, gay or straight, shun the limelight because they’re not the ones who got in to showbiz!! Why do you people assume it was all on Jodie? If they are both private people, Jodie may have been respecting her wishes. You all seem to think you know the intimate details of their lives just because you watch TMZ.

  113. BETTY says

    That may have also been the reason why the girlfriend was not in any of the family pictures…or “picturegate” that one of the posters keeps crying about.

  114. jeffinla says

    How was that NOT coming out? I don’t understand what planet people are on. Maybe she DID have a few drinks. Maybe she DID feel hostile and judged. She’s allowed to have privacy. It doesn’t matter what profession she chose. I think she probably DID feel persecuted by the gay media which for years has been vilifying her for not coming out and saying what everyone already new. Lay off people. She wants to have a new experience, that was obvious. She’s one of us and always has been. Love.

  115. noteasilyoffended says

    Seems people want thing to be neat and clean and tied up in pretty bows. Life just isn’t like that- nor or people. Strong people do things their way, whether those ways are understood by all or not. Jodie Foster’s speech was more than a coming out speech. It was a look back on a 43-year career, a thank you to her mother, and, yes, a coming out speech. She did it her way. It was quite obvious to me that she came out. Is there one person who didn’t know she was gay after her well-publicized divorce? Seriously, everyone in Hollywood knew she was a lesbian living with a woman with two children. Why is it that everyone expects someone to come out with the exclamation, “I AM GAY.”? Way to go, Jodie! Stick to your guns. For one, I appreciate your maintenance of your character and your privacy.

  116. Yupp says

    I basically agree with Not. And I love Jodie Foster as an actress and as a person she’s obviously very smart and she’s 50 but looks like she’s in her 30’s……BUT, I still can hardly stand those award shows. You’d think they were all Nobel Prize winners in the Medicine categories in that room of concentrated self-important smugness.

  117. DAN says

    Unbelievable! When Jodie comes out at an awards show (again) by confirming what was already known but without saying those two magic words that has become your standard…”I’m gay”…the drama queen nails came out and you’re all over her saying she truly didn’t come out and you vilify her and take her speech out of context! When Victor Garber confirms he is gay but does not say those words “I’m gay” you’re all excited and praising him. When Matt Dallas came out last week he did not say, “I’m gay”, but let everyone know by tweeting a pic of his fiance, you guys couldn’t welcome the little hottie to your club faster! Not one of you posted saying you needed to hear the words’s “I’m gay” out of his mouth.

    You threw a pride parade in Victor and Matt’s honor, Jodie was kicked to the curb. What an absolute disgusting display of a double standard. This community preaches and asks people not to judge us and to accept us, but some of you are the first to the front of the line when it comes to judging others, especially one of our own. It’s sad when we tear down a fellow gay person in a catty, childish display because they didn’t live up to your own definition of how to live. You are no better than a schoolyard bully. It’s no wonder why some people stay in the closet especially those in the public eye. Not only do they have to face bigots in the heterosexual world, but have to deal with those in the gay community who act like a bunch of judgemental highschoolers. Forget it.

  118. says

    Jodie is still playing games with the public. Even Mel Gibson seemed confused by her long, rambling monologue. And by the way, any gay person(or person,period)who has Mel for a close friend has a few screws loose. Jodie still lives in La La Land.

  119. RedRoseQueen1 says

    She talked about her “ex-partner and co-parent of 20 years and” and called HER (Cydney)by name etc..What the Hell people? Is there only ONE “right” way to “announce” being gay? Why have I not heard ONE person (here or at Queerty) yet talk about the many reasons this “speech” may have sounded a little “off”…like the fact that she’s ALONE (no partner now) and she’s FIFTY (not exactly a GREAT age to be a woman in Hollywood)and her Mom is obviously gravely ill (we’ll probably read of her death this year)and she DOES value her privacy (something stars USED to have gay or straight) and she simply sounds very depressed for several understandable reasons. WHO has not known for YEARS that she is a lesbian? Why is it even a “MUST” for every gay actor or entertainer to have a public “outing” anyway? Shouldn’t the choice of when, where, how and even IF, be up to the individual? I admire her as a strong, talented and intelligent PERSON. Period.And I wish love and happiness in her personal life as well. It’s as simple as that.

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