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Dan Savage Talks About His New Book, His Son's Coming Out, and His Underwear Model Husband: VIDEO


Dan Savage speaks with Canada's Xtra about writing his new book American Savage, our cultural tipping points, the 'It Gets Better' campaign, his son's coming out (as straight), parenthood, and his Instagram exhibitionist underwear model husband Terry.


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  1. His son has not 'come out' - he is straigt; and part of the majority.

    Does Towleroad need a lesson in what 'coming out' actually means as it is CONSTANTLY belittling the coming out process by claiming that politicians who support equality are 'coming out'.

    Posted by: MaryM | May 28, 2013 9:49:31 AM

  2. I don`t like him at all, and what he stands for.

    Posted by: nn | May 28, 2013 9:56:46 AM

  3. Cutest thing ever: interviewer saying "sorry" with that Canadian accent.

    Posted by: Narducci | May 28, 2013 10:01:14 AM

  4. @marym unless you are part of that family you have no idea what the process was like for their son. coming out as a process has many meanings beyond coming out as gay. as a gay man, and a recovering alcoholic, revealing either to a friend, employer or loved one can be agonizing. i am also part of another sexual minority, about which i came out fully 30 years after i came out as gay. no one assigned you as sole purveyor of the meaning of a phrase, any phrase. get over yourself, mary, as the queens in the piano bar used to say.

    Posted by: bandanajack | May 28, 2013 10:07:12 AM

  5. It's only a matter of time before some of the real stories about Dan and the real housewife of Seattle leak out. They're just lucky that the kid will never be able to write a tell-all. He deserved better.

    Posted by: seatown | May 28, 2013 10:09:02 AM

  6. There is nothing gays hate worse than successful gays. Look at the hate here in these comments.

    Posted by: Jerry | May 28, 2013 10:14:24 AM

  7. I love Dan, his husband is hot, and I wish them all the best. Dan is our advocate, as much as some gays want to hate him.

    Posted by: Jack M | May 28, 2013 10:19:34 AM

  8. Nothing worse than an attention seeking media whore. He does nothing but depict the worst part of the gay "community".

    Posted by: Paul | May 28, 2013 10:19:48 AM

  9. Does Instagram exhibitionist underwear modeling pay well? Well, since there are so many.

    Posted by: MIke | May 28, 2013 10:23:54 AM

  10. #yawn

    Posted by: ratbastard | May 28, 2013 10:26:06 AM

  11. "unless you are part of that family you have no idea what the process was like for their son. coming out as a process has many meanings beyond coming out as gay"

    NO-ONE comes out as straight. It is the majority of society.

    politicians who support equality are NOT coming out - they are taking no personal risk.

    Towleroad continually belittles the bravery of LGBT people who come out of the closet into a hostile and dangerous world by pretending that straight people are doing something similar by simply being decent human beings.

    Posted by: MaryM | May 28, 2013 10:35:22 AM

  12. He!s great and one of the best role models for the gay community. Funny too - so quit looking at his smoking hot husband!

    Posted by: Mike Ryan | May 28, 2013 10:36:39 AM

  13. Oh Mary! (m) Are you immune to rhetorical subtlety? The kid as raised by Dan and Terry -- a gay family. Straights invariably expect their offspring will be just like them sexually. Dan was simply toying wit the reverse. He and Terry are gay and the kid isn't, so the id had to "come out" to the as straight. It's very simple really.

    But alas far too complex for the likes of you.

    Posted by: David Ehrenstein | May 28, 2013 10:40:32 AM

  14. Jerry, it's only the trolls who have a problem with Dan. I for one think he's great, and many others do as well.

    Posted by: MateoM | May 28, 2013 10:42:51 AM

  15. I love how people are called "trolls" because they don't fawn over and kiss the ass of so caleld gay "leaders" or "role models". God forbid someone doesn't think these are people to be looking up to.

    Posted by: Paul | May 28, 2013 10:45:35 AM

  16. Looking forward to the book! His work "The Commitment" is bloody terrific and a great read.

    He will always have his detractors, but it's not stopped him for working his keister off.

    even Savage is very pointed about his "status", if you will, as a "leader" or "role-model" - he's both by default, by his own admission. He's simply choosing to stand out, and speak out. Anyone who feels he's doing a bad job is more than free to make themselves just as visible and vocal.

    So, have at it.

    Posted by: Little Kiwi | May 28, 2013 11:05:45 AM

  17. @ Jerry - You are absolutely correct.

    Posted by: jleo71 | May 28, 2013 11:11:32 AM

  18. That accent is half of the reason I hate Sarah Palin.

    Posted by: David Hearne | May 28, 2013 11:34:58 AM

  19. Savage is a net gain for the LGBT community, and advocates very strongly on a lot of issues, though not on EVERY issue. He does seem to enjoy the attention a little too much, the performance aspect of his advocacy role, the platform to shock, the opportunity to confront, and the license to say too much. To be fair, these are probably some of the same traits that make him an effective advocate, but he always seems to overstep.

    He's attractive enough for an older man, but his personal style almost always ends up annoying me. He doesn't seem to be able to reconcile himself as anything other than a flirty, flighty 20-something year old twink, when in fact he's pushing up close on 50. It just seems like with all he's experienced and accomplished, he'd have assumed a little more gravitas by now rather than being in this state of perpetual gay adolescence. He reminds me of that 40-something year old mom of your friend who always tries to act like she's 16, but convinces no one.

    I have to tip my hat to him for all he's done, but even as I'm wanting to give him his due, he's annoying me personally. And yeah, I do have this uncomfortable feeling that one day the whole story will be revealed about his private life, and it won't be pretty, and it may reduces his effetiveness as an LGBT advocate.

    Posted by: Arrested Adolescence | May 28, 2013 11:40:27 AM

  20. Stop trying to hate on Savage. He's awesome.

    Posted by: Munro | May 28, 2013 11:41:19 AM

  21. I do agree w Arrested Adolescence though--he needs some big boy clothes.

    Posted by: Munro | May 28, 2013 11:43:51 AM

  22. You're not a troll if you disagree with some things Dan has said and positions he's taken. God forbid the community doesn't move in lock step.

    The "It Gets Better" project is a huge, wonderful movement.
    About 75% of the advice he imparts on his column.
    (I'm forgetting many more)

    - Dan Savage believes bisexuals should only date other bisexuals
    - Used transphobia to belittle politicians he disagreed with
    - Prop 8 > There's those that stick to reason with the facts, then there's those that use those unfortunate data #'s to air out barely veiled racism that was there to begin with. Dan is the latter.
    - Hell-bent on reclaiming the word "***got" in the sake of destroying political correctness when he knows it's potency and context hasn't gone away
    (I'm forgetting many more)

    Again, I'm not a troll, nor am I a GOProud member (nor conservative), or anything else his rabid defenders will try to sling at me on here (including LittleKiwi's aliases of people -- fyi it's getting old).

    Unlike the misogyny of a Rick, the racism of a Ratbastard, or the borderline-psychotic gun toting of a David Hearne, I'm a sane poster here letting you know there ARE a sizeable amount of people IN the community that don't welcome Dan's self-appointed role of community spokesman because they think the con's outweigh the pro's and make reasoned arguments doing so - it's possible. Did it ever occur to anyone that Dan from a place of privilege has a much easier time being and accepted as said spokesman? I'm NOT saying he shouldn't be one, but for his detractors to all single-handedly be thrown under the bus in the broad brush cause of "uniting the movement" is wrong.

    He's not the devil but he's certainly no saint either. *Off soapbox*

    P.S. When the **** is Andy changing his commenting section? Ever?

    Posted by: Leo | May 28, 2013 11:43:57 AM

  23. @ Paul - Let's not forget that if not for people like Dan we would still be back in the closet. These are the people who dare to put themselves in the front line so that you don't have to.

    Posted by: jleo71 | May 28, 2013 12:11:45 PM

  24. Oh damn, I really hate to say this, but Marym....

    You dear, are a moron.

    Go back to burrowing your nose in your religion. You were much happier when you weren't trying to understand sophisticated language usage of actual adults.

    "...the animals boaded the ark, two by two I tells ya!!! Two by Two!"

    Posted by: James | May 28, 2013 12:33:42 PM

  25. Coming out CAN happen to straight people. I have some friends who are a same-sex male couple who co-parented 4 children with a lesbian couple. When their eldest daughter was a teenager, she went through a major crisis about being straight because she thought her parents would feel betrayed if she told them she was straight. When she got up the courage to tell them, she received 100% love and support, but the anxiety she felt before she told her parents was very similar to what gay kids experience before they come out to straight parents.

    Posted by: Bill | May 28, 2013 12:39:39 PM

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