1. candideinnc says

    I suppose that getting involved in a romantic relationship, knowing you are gay, isn’t kind to the woman. On the other hand, lots of gay men have been told about their homosexuality being a phase. Lots of gay men are capable of straight sex, and want desperately to have the “normal” life of straight people. I can give Collins a pass on perhaps having a confused and chequered romantic life.

    But in the end, no one ever apologized to me for being a homophobe, and there are thousands of that sort I have experienced in my life. I am waiting. (crickets)

  2. Jack M says

    @Voet, I hope your post is sarcastic. I really don’t think it’s very classy to appear on TV and discuss your personal relationships in public. She was very mature, but classy? I wouldn’t go that far.

  3. Gigi says

    Using women as a “beard” is wrong. If they’re in on it, like Katie Holmes was, that’s their deal. Who’s at fault – the users or society? I was a closeted teen, living in a small town, in the late ’80s. I saw guys using girls in this way but even then it was never an option for me. I felt it was wrong to toy with someone else’s feelings and emotions for my own personal gain. Still do. I hope Carolyn Moos and Jason Collins both find people to love, and I hope they can maintain their friendship. It seems there’s still a lot of love there.

  4. bobbyjoe says

    As I understand it, Collins and this woman haven’t been together for about four years. It’s not like he suddenly broke up with her last week when he publicly announced “I’m gay.” So why is this newsworthy other than some weird attempt by the media to show us a “victimized” heterosexual? WTF does Jason Collins have to “apologize” about to her?

  5. my2cents says

    classy: not
    mature: hardly
    well spoken: certainly

    imho: if you’ve ‘dated’ for 8 years and the relationship hasn’t brought you your ‘dreams’, your dreaming or in denial. whatever their relationship was, it functioned o some level for both parties during that period of time.

    and since the ‘break up’ was 4 years ago, are the press and paps not going to trash pick through Jason’s life for other tidbits?

    build ’em up, bring ’em down. the american way. but when and if Jason finds or shares a MSM relationship, all the media outlets will be begging for the exclusive. and the profit.

  6. David Hearne says

    Never forget that La Piers has Rupert Murdoch’s appendage embedded so deep in his throat that he can hardly speak.

  7. MaryM says

    If he was lying to her about being gay even though he knew he was gay, then he should apolotgize to her.

    Regardless of his reasoning he was still lying and deceiving her, which is unacceptable.

  8. says

    From what I’ve read about his coming out process he didn’t really accept it or even acknowledge it until the lockout when he wasn’t on a set schedule, so it’s very likely he might have thought he was straight when he was dating this woman. They broke up 4 years ago so I don’t see why he needs to apologize to her, unless he gave her some inkling he might want to be with her still after he realized he was gay.

  9. Rick says

    Oh, geez, women and their sense of entitlement.

    Do you think Mr. Morgan would ever have asked a lesbian who dated men whether she apologized to them afterwards for “deceiving” them?

    What about lesbians who married men and had children with them and then left–often WITH the children–should they apologize to their ex-husbands?

    And has Mr. Morgan ever heard of bisexuality? Has he ever heard of “situational” sexuality? Has he ever heard about people’s sexuality changing over the course of a lifetime?

    I am sure he has, but I guess the need to keep WOMAN on a pedestal–as the emotional centerpiece of all men’s lives–overrides all such considerations.

    And what about our “poor little woman” here–does anybody think she ever would have been dating Jason in the first place if he were not an NBA player with a big bank account? No, I am sure her motives were entirely pure, as they always are with women and their interest in men, right?

  10. jamal49 says

    Piers, honey, refresh my memory. Jason Collins must apologize to this woman because……?

  11. Jim Brown says

    The only apology that should happen is from our messed up society that makes men, particularly athletes, think and act that they have to be “straight” even when they know in their heart they are gay. Apologize? Hardly. Of course, it is heart-breaking to be in a relationship that does not result the way one wants it to, but one should hardly have to apologize for being who they ARE. I was pissed off for Pierce asking the question that way, but I thought Carolyn Moos handled it well by never actually saying Collins “apologized” to her. So, yes, “classy”.

  12. Josh M. says

    What an inane interview. By all accounts, Collins is a remarkably smart, conscientious and resilient guy. But he’s 34 and it’s obvious there has been massive self-deception and internal loathing going on for many years. He owes no one an apology. Society owes him one. Couples break up all the time and this happened well before this week, so the ex should be just fine.

  13. daws says

    Assuming you weren’t raised by wolves, yes, you should apologize to someone when you deceive or hurt them. Because that’s what decent people do. There was nothing wrong with Piers’ question…it’s just that it came from Piers who makes my skin crawl in general.

    Besides, she seems to be a lovely, intelligent woman. I feel bad that her world was just rocked. Kudos to her for not making this a Jerry Springer moment and being articulate and showing support for Jason.

  14. bandanajack says

    @mary you might want to give him some slack for not going through with it. there are recovery groups for women who spend 20 or 30 years wondering what is so wrong with them that their husbands are so distant only to find out that he was desperately denying to himself that he was gay. there are many mainstream churches that still recommend the love of a good woman as the “cure” for same sex attraction, as the LDS church euphemizes it.

    i convinced myself i was bisexual back in the 70’s and married a terrific woman. we each gave it our best shot for almost 13 years, before i nearly drank myself to death dealing with the truth. we parted ways, i got help for my alcoholism, have been sober for 30 years, she has been married now for 20 years having gone into that marriage a much more fully developed woman. i made my amends with her, but the deceit was foisted upon me as much as her. we both got lucky, and have remained somewhat distant friends, having moved on.

  15. says

    It’s simple: Apologies–or lack thereof–within a relationship or an ex-relationship shouldn’t be of concern to anyone who wasn’t directly involved in the relationship. The sense of entitlement comes from those who presume they have the moral authority to decide what’s right for the personal relationships of others.

  16. Merv says

    Yes, way back in the dark ages of 2009, nobody could reasonably expect a young boy at the tender age of 30 in the anti-gay hellhole of Massachusetts not to use a woman to appear straight.

  17. says

    well, some of you on here still don’t want “everyone” to know that you’re gay. so clearly some of y’all can empathize, right? exactly.

  18. Darren says

    Jason Collins has nothing to apologize for being born with a homosexual orientation. But society has a lot of apologizing to do to gay people for fostering and promoting homophobia against them.

  19. PE says



  20. Geoff says

    She sounds great, though. She and Jason will remain friends and that’s so, so good. Both she and Jason are intelligent, thoughtful people. They’ll both be fine.

  21. Paul R says

    The only thing he might consider apologizing for is that he said that in his career he was too busy to give thought to a personal life one way or another. That he was dating someone for 8 years makes that a tad insulting to her.

  22. JonnyNYNY2FLFL says

    Apparently, Jason’s twin brother didn’t even know he was gay. I’d say Jason had a difficult time breaking out of the closet. Let’s be generous in spirit to those who face struggles we cannot know.

  23. Niebuhr says

    She stayed in the relationship for 8 years, so obviously she was content during that time. And it’s been 4 years since they broke up.

    Apology? Give me a freaking break!

  24. scollingsworth says

    If he wasn’t cheating on her, he has nothing to apologize for. A break-up is a break-up.

  25. candideinnc says

    bandanajack–You stole my life story. I started when you did, married in ’71, stayed married 15 years, two kids, alcohol to kill all the bad feelings, divorce, treatment…a lover of 23 years who makes me happy, and 4 grandkids later. We didn’t deceive women. We tried to make a happy life for all of us.

  26. says

    This is a bit strange – if they’re not together anymore, then I don’t understand the media’s interest in this intelligent woman. That being said, he did lie to her for 8 years – and even if he was lying to himself, he was still lying to her, so yeah, I could see her wanting an apology. Still all in all, she sounds like a neat woman.

  27. Bryan says

    I agree with acrowdedbookshelf that I don’t know why the media is digging her up but I don’t get those saying that he doesn’t have to apologize to her, he does.

    He DID know he was gay, he might have denied, surpressed it or whatever, but he knew and he carried on in a relationship with her, yes it might not be his fault, societal pressure and all that, but still that doesn’t make him any less accountable.

  28. sharksbreath says

    As a straight man there is no choice. I would rather die than be in a relationship with a man.

    I guess some gay people can choose to be straight. Jason did it his whole life knowing he was gay. So much for that choice BS.

    If your going to be gay. Be gay. If your going to choose to live a non gay life and act like your not gay. Stay single.

    Jason is no hero. He’s a coward for perpetrating a fraud to this woman.

    For him to not even apologize tells me all I need to know about the guy.

    He’s a terrible person. Not for being gay. But for lying to that woman for years and not even having the decency to apologize for his actions.

    If this is your hero something is wrong with you.

    Looking at the comments making excuses for him being a coward, lying and then not even apologizing for it says the same for the rest of you.

  29. sharksbreath says

    -You stole my life story. I started when you did, married in ’71, stayed married 15 years, two kids, alcohol to kill all the bad feelings, divorce, treatment…a lover of 23 years who makes me happy, and 4 grandkids later. We didn’t deceive women. We tried to make a happy life for all of us.

    Posted by: candideinnc

    Still lying to yourself hun.

  30. sharksbreath says

    -You stole my life story. I started when you did, married in ’71, stayed married 15 years, two kids, alcohol to kill all the bad feelings, divorce, treatment…a lover of 23 years who makes me happy, and 4 grandkids later. We didn’t deceive women. We tried to make a happy life for all of us.

    Posted by: candideinnc

    Still lying to yourself hun.

  31. WM says

    I was in a 32 year marriage before my ex came out. We have two grown daughters. Personally, I support the idea of a very sincere apology. My ex never apologized to our family, and I mean sincere, which would have helped us heal. And I don’t mean an apology for being gay, but for the whole thing, the knowing all along, not sharing, betrayal, causing victimization, the lack of honesty, taking away years of another person’s life, self esteem, the other person’s sexuality, how his behavior provoked behaviors in all of us in his immediate family! I have no problem with the new relationship he’s formed with his partner, but I do have a problem with how he treats us and still lacks respect towards the immediate family that is/was his!!

  32. WM says

    As far as Carolyn, she certainly is questioning a lot about herself. It’s a double whammy! Being dropped out of a relationship and then because her ex is gay is NOT an easy thing for her to recover from either!

    I also think for myself, and not Carolyn, but with the current economy and my age, to be divorced now is a great financial struggle. Not only could my ex not take care of himself and who he was, but he left ruins behind at this stage in life. I had put a lot of trust into my marriage and much hard work, although I could never figure why there was so much distance. Feeling duped is another provoked manifestation! Oh! And it’s been a struggle finding someone else to enter into another relationship with that wants the same things as I do.

  33. Kellie says

    Of course he has to apologize to her. I don’t understand all these comments that say he doesn’t owe her an apology. She wanted marriage and children, and it sounds like she was very upfront about that. He lied to her (and to himself).

    The woman’s 6’5″. Let’s face it, it might be kind of hard for her to find a guy. Her fertility started dropping three yrs before he dumped her.

    And yes, gay women should apologize to the men they marry.

    And people who are negative and hostile to gay people should apologize when they see the light. (Although, crickets … yeah. They are chirpin, aren’t they?)

    All these “Hell no, he doesn’t owe her an apology” comments: what’s up with that? Is apologizing to someone you’ve hurt such a profoundly humiliating thing that you’re unwilling to do it? I don’t get the “no apologies” attitude.

    If you’re a decent human being, and you’re not perfect, you will wind up apologizing occasionally. If you can’t remember the last time you offered someone a sincere formal apology, then you need to take a good look at your life. Have you really not made any mistakes in the last 10 or so yrs?