1. rick scatorum says

    Social security survivor benefits are tens of thousands of dollars EVERY YEAR. Over time, that’s an incredible amount of money lost

  2. Zeta says

    “He explained that for fifteen years he lived in constant fear of the huge burden his husband and son would face should he die, leaving exorbitant inheritance taxes not unlike those incurred by Edie Windsor.”

    And this is why blacks are offended when (white) gays pull the ‘Just Like The Civil Rights Movement’ card. If inheritance taxes and financial penalties are your most crushing worries, you are living a truly blessed life.

  3. Zeta says

    Off topic: how many gay men admit to being the inseminated one, instead of doing the inseminating? Has a study been done on traditional sexual roles in gay and lesbian relationships?

  4. gunther says

    Excellent. However Dan Savage needs to refrain from calling people names. It hollows out who we all are. Let people like Santorium do that.

  5. azm says

    As a big fan of Real Time, I am sometimes disappointed with Bill’s choice of some conservative guests, especially mouth-breather Norquist. The show was going south until Savage got on brought some real to Real Time. The insemination part was unnecessary but the look on Grover’s face was priceless!

  6. TampaZeke says

    Gee Zeta, I wonder if Oprah Winfrey discussed her most pressing financial issues if most black people would relate. Does that mean that Oprah isn’t really black or does it mean that her personal financial issues aren’t real? The vast majority of gay people don’t have Savage’s money and our financial worries are very different than his. Is it that you personally missed that point or are you trying to make the point that OTHER people are unable to realize the obvious?

  7. kdknyc says

    The “rich gay problems” also include being able to inherit a rent-controlled apartment from a spouse, get their social security benefits if they die, visit a loved one in the hospital, have some say as to what happens to their remains when they die–do those “not-rich gays” NOT want these rights? Yes, the financial issues are one thing that’s discussed, especially when people like Grover Norquist are on.

    To those of you who have issues with the “rich gay problems”, I’d say, if not for the “rich gays” like Edie Windsor fighting for everyone’s rights, DOMA would still be the law of the land.

  8. says

    This interview was almost perfect, Dan is an eloquent speaker, and I agree with every point he made.

    I do think that the inseminating comment was over the top, and unnecessary, but at least it will really bother homophobes and that’s a good result.

    As an elderly gay man I understood what he said about those of us that came out 30 years ago.

    Ever since the glorious day when DOMA and H8 died I’ve had this powerful sense of relief. It’s good.

  9. rjp3 says

    Zeta – you are a fool.
    Gay men have been jailed and lobotomized in recent history for being gay.
    They loose jobs and are disinherited or just cut off from families.
    Again – there is a candidate for Gov of Virginia trying to make anything but straight vaginal sex illegal.
    Wake the hell up.

  10. comeon says

    I’m sorry, but some of you think that the government taking half of what you owe when you die simply because it doesn’t approve of your relationship isn’t a civil rights issue? Crazy talk. Life liberty and property are our inalienable rights.

  11. PTBoat says

    I wonder if Dan Savage were sitting in Norquist’s seat and the conversation were reversed with Norquist discussing his hot wife, if Maher would have made the same shushing comment. More shaming and deference to the majority.

  12. Micklest says

    Yes, Dan is the breadwinner in the family. My huband works, but I’m worth a little more. Between the two of us, we make ends meet–just. When one of us dies we will have the same comfort that a straight couple has in Social Security benefits and it will make a HUGE difference. The survivor may well be able to afford to stay in our home, for one thing!

  13. j says

    @ ptboat – right on! – I thought the exact same thing – and came to the comments wanting to see who else would react to the unbelievable and revealing comment maher made “throw up in their mouths” !?! unreal – DS is describing sex with his partner – and BM tell him to cool it because people are going to throw up! shows how far we still have to come when that comment gets made and there is zero response from DS – he should apologize

  14. outin727 says

    Dan Savage is vile and I’m sick of him speaking “for the community” — just because him and his partner have no problem advertising that they are both sex-crazed pigs doesn’t mean that all of us are; some of us would actually like to enjoy the rights and protections of marriage. Savage sets us back 5 years each time he starts flapping his gums “for the community”.

  15. Tessie Tura says

    Having been fired from three jobs because I am gay (I live in Alabama, and you can do that) I have no sympathy for black racists who claim that the struggles are different.

  16. Tessie Tura says

    The inseminating comment would have been even better if he remarked that they inseminated each other! Poor straight couples never get to flip-flop without extra implements.

  17. topdawg says

    My husband and I have been together for going on 17 years. Whenever anyone asks if we intend to have children he has always answered “We keep trying, but butt babies just don’t live.”

  18. mikeflower says

    Too bad Savage didn’t reference Pat Robertson’s recent comment that married men will always cheat on their wives & that it’s the woman’s duty to keep her hubby faithful.

  19. says

    I have a huge heart-on for Dan Savage! His appearance on Bill Maher last night couldn’t have been more perfect! He came out guns-a-blazing. Love those arms! I still don’t get why people in our community like to trash him. Whether they like it or not, Dan has been hugely important as to why our movement has been so successful, especially in recent years with the It Gets Better Project. Kudos to him again for last night. We couldn’t have a more entertaining, more intelligent, or more witty talking head out there. So glad he’s on our side. His line about inseminating his boyfriend was golden, but my favorite quip of his was when they were discussing the Rolling Stone cover with the Boston Bomber on it, and someone was saying that Rolling Stone has had other evil, bad men on it like Hitler and Stalin and Dan slipped in there, “and Ronald Reagan” which I don’t think anyone on the panel heard and the rest kept talking. CLASSIC!!

  20. Keith says

    The look on Grover Norquist’s face was priceless, and it was clear that Dan was making every effort to push every one of Grover’s buttons to elicit a reaction. Even though Grover tried his best to disguise his disgust, it was clear in that one moment that it wasn’t working very well. It was clear, after that conversaton, that conservatives like Norquist want limited taxes and government intrusion, except when it comes to women’s,minorities and LGBT’s personal and private lives.

  21. UFFDA says

    Dan Savage isn’t going to be just a little bit more genteel because I cringe at some of the things he says. But I can still dream and always spit out the upchuck in my mouth that he elicits. Truly and unnecssarily he is the meistro of vomit. As I say most people are not actually homophobic as much as they are homoemetic. Dan is part of the reason.

    On the other hand no one can be all bad who has said that Perkins’ anti-gay crusade is built on the bodies of dead gay kids. That packs an unforgettable punch.

  22. Truth Hurts says

    @TAMPAZEKE – Geez, I think you missed her point completely. Perhaps if you weren’t so hell bent on attempting to prove a point, you’d realize that man try to align Gay rights with the Civil Rights movement. They aren’t even close. As you can see on this forum, Gays readily use racial slurs against blacks without pause. As white gay men, you have a choice as to “Coming Out”. I have yet to meet a black man come out as being “BLACK” West Hollywood is notorious in it’s racism towards gay blacks (and yes it still exists). If young black men aren’t viewed as sexual objects, then they aren’t viewed at all in some cases. So save your “wit” for those who crave it.

  23. says

    and to anyone who hates Savage and “wishes there was a better/different gay spokesperson”, turn your camera on, record what you want people to hear and learn, and post it online.

    it’s that easy.

    Savage is a “spokesperson” by default – you can’t be mad that he steps up and speaks out and you don’t.

  24. gomez says

    you are tedious kiwi. no, it’s not “that easy” to suddenly make oneself a spokesman for the glbt community on par with savage. you are a deluded one-note pony.

    not everyone wants to be, nor should feel compelled to want be a public figure

    the audience has a right to critique the musician without playing a single instrument themselves

  25. says

    it’s not my fault you’re a coward. nor is it Dan Savage’s.

    if you don’t want to be Visible, you can’t complain that those who go out of their way to be Visible aren’t “doing what you want them to do.”

    it’s your own fault that you waste your time being an anonymous complaining wimp online, rather than getting over your particularly-pathetic insecurities about being a gay man.

  26. anon says

    Norquist controls a ton of Rep. PAC funding, and thereby gets candidates to sign anti-tax pledges. While socially conservative, he doesn’t directly compete with right-wing religious groups that set social policy for the GOP. Without a verbal response, you can only wonder what he was thinking.

  27. Rocco says

    I am weary of the Oppression Olympics. I suggest a viewing of “Crash” or reading Paulo Freire next time your nose gets out of joint. Every group has the potential to be both oppressor and victim. Some of us are even members of more than one group of “the oppressed (clutch pearls here).” Does that make us perma pressed? A little compassion and more listening( than talking) go long way.

  28. Howard says

    @TruthHurts, “I have yet to meet a black man come out as being “BLACK””. I have heard this lie told more than once.

    The reality is, if you have a light skinned black mother or father you are considered “Black” even if you have fair skin and “good” hair. I have personally known several guys who could pass for white and did so for many years as teen-agers, but as adults they claimed their identity and came out as Black.

    So just like some fem gays cannot hide the fact that they are gay, and some butch guys can and do hide being gay; so too some very light skinned blacks can and do pass for white!

    As in all things, it is up to the individual to decide when and if to come out of whatever closet they may be hiding in.

  29. RogerT says


    I think Dan’s statement about inseminating his husband and “crossing his fingers that he will conceive because God is capable of anything” is a retort to anti-gay bigots who state that marriage is for procreation.

    When gay activists respond to this by saying that old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry either because they cannot conceive… the Biblists will often bring up the example of Sarah who gave birth at 90 years of age… because.. as they will say, all things are possible with God.

    Dan didn’t explicitly state the reason he said that about his husband, and about him crossing his fingers… but I think it’s the PERFECT retort to the religious right’s assertion that marriage is for procreation and even 90 year old women can procreate because of the power of God. It was a perfect riposte!

  30. EdA says

    I don’t mind, so much, that Bill Maher invites so many sociopaths onto his program — it IS his program, after all — but almost invariably giving them a free ride to the extent that he does makes David Gregory seem like Walter Cronkite in comparison.

    And if Dan Savage wants to inseminate his husband, or vice versa, for whatever reason, it’s no concern of mine.

  31. Isaac says

    @ROGERT: Do you know another group who has higher levels of education than whites in the US–African immigrants. This puts a lie to your theories that blacks somehow just can’t make it in society. Several generations of discrimination enshrined by law and ahistorical assessments by people like you steepen the climb that many blacks have to make in this society. Immigrants of any sort come to this country with a tabula rasa, and are usually much more motivated than native populations, black or white. Have you thought for one moment of looking at people on an individual level rather than blanket stereotypes? It’s this sort of thinking that keeps gays, blacks and any minorities from being able to contribute fully to majority societies. You’ve already dismissed them before they even have the opportunity to even engage.

    As for Dan Savage–he was a breath of fresh air on Friday’s program, and it was great seeing him make Norquist squirm. Although I may flinch at some of his statements, we need people like him and others to represent the many different viewpoints on the spectrum of gay life.

  32. Caliban says

    Dan finally says something I have been thinking for a long time.

    Whatever excesses MIGHT exist in the gay male community, it has more to do with MALE sexuality that it does with GAY male sexuality! In fact women DO participate in that side of straight male sexuality, but only after money changes hands. The straight analog to gay male online or offline “cruising” is prostitution! Men are just willing to “give it up” for free!

    That isn’t to say that gay men CAN’T be monogamous, we can and are, but gay male relationships can be difficult because they involve two men. IMO sometimes the worst thing about being a gay man is you have to date and deal with other men!

    The real problems arise not because we’re gay but because we’re MEN. And as a general rule men will fvck a bowl of soup if it’s warm! Not always, and I don’t mean to deny the amazing loyalty that men are often capable of, but male sexuality does tend to be different.

  33. Caliban says

    To expand on that, men tend to be bring competition into everything, even sex. So that whole “Yeah, well I can TWO hands up my @ss AND a dwarf on a bicycle” aspect of the gay sexual underground really has little to do with being gay, but with being male. The ONLY reason there aren’t straight “glory holes” is that women won’t participate, at least not without money or goods changing hands.

    The reason why straight men usually don’t get up to the same antics is only because women put the brakes on, not because of some supposed “morality.” They really aren’t any “better” than us, women just won’t let them get away with it!

    IMO it’s liberating to finally admit that.

  34. Bob Loblaw says

    Who’s the female? When she commented in the final seconds, before the camera cut back to here face, I immediately thought, “when did Nasim Pedrad as Arianna Huffington come to the table”. 😀

  35. David From Canada says

    By this stage of the game, Dan Savage is more interested in being a celebrity than anything else. He’s going the way of Oprah – not really one of us anymore. I can take him in very small doses.

  36. Hagatha says

    I always love the ones who say, “So you’re getting married for the benefits.” as if they are turning away the benefits. Their argument keeps coming back to religion regardless of how they dress it up.

    We are all George Zimmerman.

  37. leprechaunvict says

    1) Savage rocks as usual, love love love him
    2) Keep fighting the good Little Kiwi, I admire your persistence in taking on the haters here on the towleroad comment boards.

  38. says

    @PTBOAT, I actually likesd the shushing, not for prudish reasons, but because that audience was a bit to giggly at dan’s saying anything gay or risque. He was being funny but also serious, it helped keep the tone, the shushing.

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