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British Merchant Navy Uses Britney Spears Music To Scare Off Somali Pirates: VIDEO


Merchant navy officers off the north-eastern coast of Africa have a new weapon to ward off Somali pirate raids on marine vessels. Not guns. Not bombs. Just Britney. 

The "Work B***h" singer and pop diva has been heard floating over the waves and she is reportedly sending the pirate's skiffs packing. Early hits "Baby One More Time" and "Oops! I Did It Again" are the most effective songs in this new defensive strategy which is aimed at lessening the impact of ransom-seeking attacks, of which there were 176 in 2011 alone. 

The Mirror reports:

Second Officer Rachel from Aberfoyle in Scotland said: “Her songs have been chosen by the security team accompanying our tankers because they thought the pirates would hate them most. These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect...There are a lot of lives and cargo at stake so security is of prime importance. The speakers can be aimed solely at the pirates so as not to disturb the crew. They’re so effective the ship’s security rarely needs to resort to firing guns - as soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney they move on as quickly as they can.”

The music is currently used as a second line of defence and is broadcast when initial calls from armed security guards on board fail to deter the pirates.

Though humorous in concept, the strategy has been effective in protecting cargo and personnel on board ships surrounding the Horn of Africa.

In other news, Spears sat down with BBC Radio TV and radio host for "Its' Britney Witch!", a dramatized reading of the Vincent Price monologue from Michael Jackson's "Thriller".

Check it out, AFTER THE JUMP...

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  1. Did you copy this from The Onion? hahaha

    Posted by: Tonez | Oct 29, 2013 1:34:23 PM

  2. Not very motivated, these pirates, to let a little girl's American music chase them away...

    Posted by: MikeInSanJose | Oct 29, 2013 2:05:27 PM

  3. Projecting holograms of any Kardashian might be as effective.

    Posted by: gregory brown | Oct 29, 2013 2:07:03 PM

  4. How about a close up of Bruce Jenner's face?

    Posted by: Jack M | Oct 29, 2013 2:11:37 PM

  5. Even though the issue is big, problematic and serious, I need to aknowledge it is very good Britney Spears' music is somehow useful.
    @Gregory Brown, absolutely, put the trash family into good use.

    Posted by: Matt27 | Oct 29, 2013 2:27:54 PM

  6. Can we go one day without britney or gaga
    'round these parts?

    Fuggin ridik.

    Posted by: MM | Oct 29, 2013 2:32:57 PM

  7. Can we go one day without britney or gaga
    'round these parts?

    Fuggin ridik.

    Posted by: MM | Oct 29, 2013 2:32:58 PM

  8. If they used her pre-autotuned vocal tracks, they could send the entire region into pained submission.

    Posted by: tranquilo | Oct 29, 2013 2:37:08 PM

  9. Wow. Just wow. I mean...Britney Spears? Seriously?? Wow.

    Posted by: MickyFlip | Oct 29, 2013 3:28:12 PM

  10. the pirates do not consider themselves pirates. They consider themselves the Somali coast guard (since the west destroyed the somali government and replaced it with nothing) driving off illegal dumping by european ships of known toxins and nuclear waste off the coast of somalia. They also go after chinese fishing vessels in their millennial old fishing waters because china is taking away the somali coast's ability to fish their waters and all without compensation from china

    The somali coast guard is not perfect but the story about the "pirates" is not accurate

    a simple google will reveal the more complicated story from respected western reporters (sadly being ignored)

    the "pirates" off the western coast of africa are taking over oil wells because the oil companiesd are stealing what is not theirs and polluting the waters.

    Africa raped in the past and still to this day

    Posted by: Moz's | Oct 29, 2013 3:40:18 PM

  11. @MOZ

    Bull. It may have started out as fisherman protecting their waters but it turned into a way to make easy money.

    Posted by: Maladjusted | Oct 29, 2013 5:48:04 PM

  12. um WTF with the faux british accent Brit? Are you trying to pull a Madonna?

    Posted by: Terry | Oct 29, 2013 7:20:52 PM

  13. maladjusted

    money desperately needed for medical care for their families who are developing cancers at an alarming rate and multiple birth defects popping up amongst their children due to european toxic and nuke waste being dumped off their coast

    money needed to take care of their families due to the fishing catches shrinking due to china overfishing the area and the toxic waste killing off fish

    it is a complicated situation

    the only way to solve it is not via guns but drag china and euopean waste companies to the world court...without a functioning government and no help from the US to do that.....the "pirates" will have to continue

    Posted by: Moz's | Oct 29, 2013 9:38:43 PM

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