Last year on Groundhog Day we told you that conservative handlers have declared Punxsutawney Phil possibly gay because he’s been living alone for so long that he’s a threat to traditional marriage. This year there is more evidence to back up their assertions.
Phil’s followers love coming in drag.
If his followers were straight, wouldn’t this guy’s jacket say beaver rather than groundhog?
And how could we have missed this last year? The most damning evidence of all: Phil lives at Gobbler’s Knob.
Phil saw his shadow this year, which means six more weeks inside his burrow, gobbling knob. That is, unless he’s going to parades, which, by the way, is very, very gay.