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How to Succeed On Towleroad Without Really Trying

Josh July 5, 2006

The following is a step-by-step guide to filling in for the Internet’s most trusted gay blogger, Andy Towle:

1)  Although April Fool’s Day has technically come and gone, assume you’re being asked to fill in as a practical joke.  (False modesty is the best defense mechanism in this case, but other useful defense mechanisms like humor, sarcasm, and lashing out at loved ones will work just as swimmingly.  Vodka also works.)

2)  Say yes.  Again, remember that this is usually the part in the movie when you open your front door wearing a poofy-sleeved seafoam green prom dress and wait for your hunky date to egg you as he drives by.  Because, deep down, you know that he’s already asked Tiffany, the busty blonde from the cheerleading team.  So that "yes" is more like a "yes, but."  And that "but" is more like a warning, see, that if you’re being jerked around, you are more than capable of wreaking Carrie-like havoc.  But keep your cool; you don’t want to be the one to reinforce any stereotypes.

3)  Repeat after me:  I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

4)  When the day finally comes, wake up early.  You’re the one making the news today, so…

5)  …pray for validation in the form of affirming comments.  Plentiful affirming comments.  And just in case things get rough, arm yourself with a bevy of .jpgs of shirtless men (preferably British). 

Joshandjoshaboutsmver6)  Remind readers that, should they have any tips, comments, questions or suggestions, they should email you (in this case: joshandjosh at gmail dot com).  Also, direct them to your humble (remember: false modesty) blog (in this case: Josh & Josh Are Rich and Famous) if they want to gather all their coworkers, point at the screen and make fun of learn more about you.

Topics: Uncategorized More Posts About: Julie Bindel

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