George Michael has been found by police slumped in a car in a cannabis haze, for the third time in eight months:

“His latest scrape came just after 3.20am yesterday. Police received calls about a car causing an obstruction at the junction of Cricklewood Lane with Hendon Way, North West London. They found the “Careless Whisper” singer’s Mercedes stationary at the lights. A source said: ‘An officer saw George slumped in his seat in a semi-conscious state. He was helped out of the car and an ambulance was called because there were real concerns for him.’ A small amount of cannabis was found on George.”

There was optimism that Michael had begun to escape the negative attention lavished upon him after the aforementioned incidents as he opened his first concert tour in 20 years last week.