Here’s a (truncated) clip of Hillary Clinton’s stint as flight attendant welcoming the traveling press corps aboard her campaign plane, which is certainly more entertaining than Mike Huckabee’s recent fried squirrel story.
Said Clinton: “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome aboard the maiden flight of Hil Force One. My name is Hillary and I am so pleased to have most of you on board. FAA regulations prohibit the use of any cell phones, Blackberries or wireless devices that may be used to transmit a negative story about me. In a few minutes, I am going to switch off the ‘Fasten Your Seat Belt’ sign. However, I’ve learned lately that things can get awfully bumpy when you least expect it—so you might want to keep those seat belts fastened. And in the event of an unexpected drop in poll numbers, this plane will be diverted to New Hampshire. If you look out from the right, you will see an America saddled with tax cuts for the wealthiest and a war without end. If you look out from the left, you will see an America with a strong middle class at home and a strong reputation in the world. Once we’ve reached cruising altitude, we’ll be offering in-flight entertainment: my stump speech in its many variations. Once again, thank you for joining us on Hil Force One. We know you have choices when you fly, and so we are grateful that you chose the plane with the most experienced candidate. Thank you all and have a great flight.”
There’s no doubt Clinton thought about the part where the flight attendant demonstrates the oxygen mask and points out the location of the emergency exits, but wisely decided against it.