Hope you had your fill of bloodshed on tonight’s episode of Scream Queens, because it’s going to be two weeks until our next installment.
Tonight’s conclusion of the show’s three-part Halloween spectacular played up a classic horror movie trope: the co-ed sleepover. There was Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare and Seven Minutes in Heaven (though there was a disappointing amount of pillow fighting).
The superstar of the hour? Chad Radwell (Glen Powell). I just love every moment he’s on screen, and everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious. However, I worry he’s going to get the Sue Sylvester treatment, so next season he’ll be overused to the point of driving me insane.
Speaking of insanity, let’s dive into all the crazy that went down in the most recent episode. Major SPOILERS below.
Who doesn’t love a slumber party? Everyone gets to wear their cutest pajamas, you get to witness everyone’s weird beauty regiments and, as Zayday (Keke Palmer) reminds us, “someone experiments with lesbianism and secrets are revealed.”
It makes it the perfect activity to serve as Zayday’s first co-Presidential act. That’s right, the ladies of KKT hit the polls, and it was a dead tie between Chanel 1 (Emma Roberts) and our girl Z. You’d think this would enrage Kappa’s former dictator, but she’s actually pretty thrilled with the outcome. For starters, she can look super diplomatic and collaborative, but, more importantly, it makes her less of a target for the serial killer who’s picking off the sisters. If there’s anything she’s learned from watching mafia documentaries on A&E, it’s that you don’t want to be in charge during a crisis. So, if Zayday wants to take the reigns, great. Bring on the great Slumber Party Act of 2015, or whatever.
Chanel No. 3 (Billie Lourd) is particularly stoked about the prospect of a slumber party, especially if it involves playing Spin the Bottle. It’s the first activity she demands, not-so-secretly hoping it will give her a chance to explore her complicated feelings for the “predatory lez” Sam (Jeanna Han). No. 3 reveals to her that all her ex-lovers have been driven insane (her last boyfriend was so obsessed with her ears, he threatened to cut them off if he ever saw them again — hence the earmuffs). It must be that Charles Manson blood running through her veins.
Word certainly travels fast across campus, because over at the Dickie Dollar Scholars’ house, the guys catch wind that there’s a sexy slumber party going down at Kappa Tau. After a brief convo about how Chad Radwell (Powell) needs to stop doing it with some many older women, the DDS leader is ready to commit to Chanel No. 1. What better way to show his love than a panty raid?
The guys head over to the Kappa House, and Chad receives a distressing call from Chanel Prime: They’re all locked inside the house and he’ll need to bust the windows to free them. The guys arrive with a ladder so they can smash the second-floor windows (all the first-floor windows are bomb-proof). Chad climbs up to an awaiting Chanel, who promises to love him forever for saving her. That kind of commitment gives him pause, and, in one of the evening’s most hilarious moments, he refuses to break open the window until she agrees that she’s his “for an amount of time you feel is appropriate.”
Once safely inside, Chad spies the Red Devil lurking on the lawn. The other Dollar Scholars start shimmying up the ladder, except for poor, armless Caulfield (Evan Paley). Alas, for climbing is not quite his strong suit. The Red Devil dispatches him with a few whacks from an ax right to the belly, followed by a swift decapitation.
The dwindling number of Dollar Scholars join the girls now for a rousing game of Truth or Dare — Zayday’s and Grace’s (Styler Samuels) brilliant way to extract intel on who the killer may be. According to Chad’s airtight logic, it’s not Truth, Dare OR LIE, so, therefore, anything said during the game must be taken as absolute fact.
It’s a theory that seems to hold up immediately when Sam reveals Chanel No. 3’s paternal lineage without hesitation after she’s asked what No. 3’s biggest secret is. That, obviously, draws the suspicions of everyone present, and No. 3 is pissed Sam has now made her a prime suspect. In retaliation, she dares Sam to go down to the basement and sleep in the bathtub.
Climbing into the bloodstained bathtub, she’s bonked on the noggin by the Red Devil and murdered via suffocation. Interestingly, before the Devil can do her in, she asks if he will reveal himself. He does, and she tells him she could have helped him/her. Then, the Devil puts his/her mask back on and dispatches “predatory lez” to the great, big women’s studies class in the sky.
The rest of our partygoers have now moved on to Seven Minutes In Heaven. First, Chad and Chanel hop in and, between makeouts, vow to take their relationship to the next level. Then, Chanel No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) and Roger (Aaron Rhodes) take their turn. During their stint in the closet, the Red Devil appears and fires a nail gun into Roger’s head, reuniting him with his twin, Dodger (Austin Rhodes) who bit the bullet last week.
The girls discover a series of secret tunnels running underneath and throughout the KKT house, so Chanel No. 1 and Zayday volunteer to explore. Of course, the Red Devil is there and gives chase. He catches up to Zayday, but before he can assassinate Kappa’s newest pres, Chanel No. 1 bonks him on the head, and they make their escape.
Cut to the police and Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) arriving on scene. By now, it’s clear that this serial killer is targeting Kappa. So, the detective is going to post an officer there, and the Dean is just happy she can put the rest of the students’ parents’ minds at ease. As long as they aren’t a Kappa or a Dollar Scholar, they’ve got nothing to fear.
Perhaps still high on the adrenaline of saving Zayday, Chanel No. 1 is all about promoting solidarity. She’s even bought all the girls gifts: Hot pink nunchucks. Unbeknownst to her, Chanels No. 3 and No. 5 have made their own pact to outlive Chanel No. 1, no matter the cost.
OK, so the big thing to discuss here is the Red Devil reveal with Sam. Her plea that she could have helped him/her makes me think it was Boone (Nick Jonas). Perhaps she meant she could’ve helped him come out of the closet and be proud and live his truth and be his authentic self and also fall in love with me, personally. We know Boone is at least working with one of the Red Devils, and after one of the Devils spared his bro Chad, I’d say this is the most likely choice.
Now it’s time for my barely coherent theory of the week. (Hey, I’m a TV blogger, not an FBI agent.) I still feel like Zayday has a bigger part of this than we know. It’s weird that they made a big deal about Chanel giving her a key (not necessarily THE key; there could be more than one) to the room of secrets, and then someone got murdered in there. Did Z let them in? Maybe! I also have my suspicions about Earl Grey (Lucien Laviscount). For starters, he’s the only non-idiot in the Dollar Scholars, so already he seems weirdly out of place. He was also the one who initially floated the slumber party info to his brothers. Could the two of them be in HASHTAG CAHOOTS with Boone to destroy the straight, white, cis, heteronormative hegemony? MAYBE. You know how Ryan Murphy loves a good morality tale as told by a bunch of morally bankrupt characters.
What are your thoughts? Share your theories, no matter how implausible or logically flawed they may be, in the comments.