Logo TV is running a sort-of reality show called Finding Prince Charming. I hear it’s absolutely terrible. It looks a lot like ABC’s The Bachelor, except Logo’s version is about gay men.
Its star is a statuesque man named Robert Sepulveda Jr., a model, interior designer, and, apparently, a former escort. Because Mr. Sepulveda is on television trying to become famous, a celebrity gossip website thought it was “newsworthy” to publish explicit photos of him from his escort days without his consent. The photos have now been “unpublished.”
If these photos were not already generally available, the website should not have published them. Posting graphic or explicit photos of another without his or her consent is called “nonconsensual pornography” (NCP), more commonly known as “revenge porn.” And it is a crime in 35 jurisdictions and counting.
Most NCP victims are women. But gay men are frequent victims, as well. Lokies Khan, a gay Singaporean man, had a sex tape posted online without consent. Speaking on the YouTube channel, ‘Dear Straight People’, Mr. Khan said he felt “violated,” “scared,” and undermined by the incident: “Things that I post on Instagram are things that are within my control, are things I want people to see, [that] I’m comfortable with people to look at. But these gifs of me on Tumblr are not within my control. I did not give consent. I did not know it was there.”
In my own research, I have spoken to more than 20 gay male victims of NCP. It usually happens in one of two contexts:
- As with many cases of NCP, generally, ex-boyfriends sometimes post nude or graphic images of their former partners on Craigslist, pornography websites, or use them to impersonate victims on social networking sites.
- Some gay male NCP victims participate in gay social networking apps. Those apps require their users to post a profile photograph, but social norms on the platforms often make sharing more intimate photos a de facto requirement of participation.
One person I spoke to was a victim of NCP at the hands of a photographer who enticed the victim with promises of free professional headshots for casting calls. Many victims felt “vulnerable”; others felt angry about a person stealing their photographs. Almost all of them found different ways to express how NCP is a devastating erosion of trust.
Victims sent intimate photos to their former partners when they were apart, as kind of modern day love letters. And many victims were indignant when their friends, acquaintances, or online commenters blamed them for taking and sending the not-suitable-for-work photos in the first place. On gay social networking apps, in particular, a background trust exists. As one man said to me, “We’re all gay on here. We’re all part of the same tribe, looking for community and companionship in a tough world. You are expected to share photos, with your face and your body. If you don’t, people don’t talk to you. To have that thrown back in your face is really devastating.”
NCP can destroy its victims, as Danielle Citron and Mary Anne Franks have described at multiple points in their work. The fact that photos may be “unpublished” does not make the situation any better. The original publisher may have changed his mind, but the photos, once available online, could have been downloaded, uploaded, and reposted thousands of time. Nor is it a publisher’s First Amendment right to publish anything he wants about others. Even celebrities enjoy a right to privacy, which, in fact, fosters more, better, and diverse speech.
Despite having his private photos (if they truly were private) published online, Robert Sepulveda may be doing fine; he hasn’t, as far as we know, experienced the kind of professional, personal, physical, and emotional abuse faced by many NCP victims. But he has been the subject of repeated ridicule online for his past as an escort.
The attacks have been a combination of different types of shaming (those who both look down on male escorts and those who think he is a poor role model for the LGBTQ community). Whatever we think about escorting or “sex work” or his reportedly excruciating show, no one deserves to have his or her privacy invaded by transforming them into the subject of the prurient interests of others without consent.