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Tan France says he received DMs “filled with such venom” after sharing an ad about formula feeding.
The ‘Queer Eye’ star and his husband Rob welcomed their first child, Ismail, into the world on July 10 via a surrogate, and the new father has revealed he was shamed for choosing formula to feed the newborn as opposed to breast milk.
The ad posted on Instagram read: “It’s National Breastfeeding Awareness Month, where one type of feeding is put on a social pedestal and those who can not or chose not to are made to feel second best for formula feeding.
“No one should ever feel guilty for feeding their baby formula. ‘How is feeding going?’ as opposed to ‘How is Breast Feeding going.’ A fed baby is what matters most.”
Tan insisted he and his spouse would much prefer their son to be breastfed but it just wasn’t an option for them.
Speaking on Parents’ ‘We Are Family’ podcast, he said: “Our surrogate wasn’t able to pump for us, and we didn’t want to use donor milk. We did a lot of research into donor milk, and for us, it just wasn’t right for us.
“I want to make it clear to everyone listening: I 100 per cent believe that breastmilk is the gold standard, so does [Rob]. We all understand that. If I could breastfeed my child, 100 per cent I would. I can’t. Therefore, I need to not be shamed for that.”
The 38-year-old star says shaming parents for how they choose to feed their child needs to stop.
He continued: “Of course they should be given every support they need. We also need to not shame the people who cannot breastfeed their child or give their child breastmilk and have to formula feed, or just choose to formula feed.”
And while he received plenty of nasty comments, Tan’s DMs were also filled with “positivity between moms” and “beautiful support”.
He added: “There was absolutely a lot of hate. It didn’t bother me, because there was also so much love between women, between moms on these comments … One of them would say, ‘I felt such guilt. I struggled with this for so many years.’ And other women would comment such beautiful support.
“There are thousands of comments on that post. If ever you just wanna feel like there’s some good in the world and that there is some positivity between moms, please just look through those DMs. It’s actually quite beautiful.”