11/04/2006
Neil Patrick Harris: I'm Gay
Less than two weeks after a columnist at Canada.com suggested that actor Neil Patrick Harris (still familiarly known to many as Doogie Howser, MD), 33, had offered his "longtime sweetheart" David Burtka a role on the sitcom How I Met Your Mother, Harris has come out of the closet.
Canada.com's claim that Harris was involved with a man inspired an alleged denial from Harris' publicist that was published without attribution by ContactMusic.com. They quoted a Harris publicist as saying, "He's not of that persuasion."
Harris was apparently as displeased by the reported statement as many others were. In a statement to People magazine, Harris appeared keen on quashing the reports that he had denied it.
Said Harris: "The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships. So, rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love."
EXCLUSIVE: Neil Patrick Harris Tells PEOPLE He Is Gay [people]
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Posted 9:49 AM EST by Andy Towle in I'm Gay, Neil Patrick Harris, News | Permalink
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I also want to add my best luck wishes to Neil.
Posted by: Mark | Nov 4, 2006 1:15:21 PM
I don't want to get embroiled in this, but Jay and Leland, aren't you guys overreacting here? Come on! Maybe just a little bit? Yes, pretty much everyone knew NPH was gay. There's about three degrees of separation between most gay men in the major cities of America, and word spreads. If you didn't know, maybe you need to get out and make some more friends.
And entertainers don't stay in the closet out of fear of snarky queens on the boards of gay blogs--I think the fear of not working is a much bigger motivator.
Posted by: Tom | Nov 4, 2006 1:36:59 PM
No, EVERYONE does not know NPH is gay, Tom. He didn't come out to the gay folks and the folks who separate them by three degress - he came out to the Marges and Henrys of Middle America, the folks who don't troll Datalounge, Towleroad, and Perez Hilton on a daily basis.
Posted by: Heyzeus Chreestos, people. | Nov 4, 2006 1:49:57 PM
By the way, best of luck to Neil Patrick Harris. Hope his career is long and prosperous.
Posted by: Heyzeus Chreestos, the Remix | Nov 4, 2006 1:53:25 PM
Andrew you sound so bitter and jaded here! I thought Leland and Jay made those points well.
There is nothing more personal that coming out. Some of us do it the right way and early in life and some of us really mess it up later in life. Either way, they are out and cannot go back! I thought NPH's statement was done with a great deal of dignity and class. Good for him...I wish hime the best!
Unless someone is out there bashing our cause the way Ted Haggard was, leave them in their closet. We all have our own time and place. If you are living your life in a way that does not hurt other people and are not ranting homophobic trash then who cares what keeps you in the closet. It is simply not that person's time, and NOT anyone's business!
Tom makes a good point as well in that they are concerned for their future work! Whatever the reason they are entitled to their time.
Please do not confuse this in anyway with Haggard!!! He was publically out to destroy us while privately playing. There is NO EXCUSE for that! If you are a public person preaching hate and want to stay in the closet good luck. Hopefully you will get drug out! IF you are a private person, come out when you want to. If ever...you are the only person you are hurting.
Posted by: RB | Nov 4, 2006 1:56:31 PM
I think what may be lost here with the argument over who is bitter and who can lick their own ass, is a fundamental question. Wasn’t this guy already out? By all accounts including NPH, he was living an open lifestyle for many years now. In fact some of you spent most of the week recounting every gay detail of this man’s life for the past ten years.
So this begs another question, can a person be out only when he is out to People magazine? In other words, is a person not out just because you and Sally-Mae from Nebraska don’t know they are gay? How many of these actors, athletes and other celebrities are out to their families and friends, and maybe even some co-workers. Which is a level of “outness” that is perfectly acceptable to most of us. And lets avoid the bs about how being in these positions and out allows some how endows them with powers to move the fight for our rights. People go to see Actors pretend to be other people. We go to hear singers sing and athletes win, none of this gives them any more power then any of us, though probably a hell of a lot more cash.
So do we care whether or not any of these peoples are “out” or do we care that we are not “in” on the secret?
Posted by: tomtom | Nov 4, 2006 2:21:42 PM
Could the contrast with Haggard be any stronger?
Posted by: Anon | Nov 4, 2006 2:26:51 PM
The problem, tomtom, is that the mainstream press will not report on gay men's social circumstances unless they issue a press release like this one. They have a don't reveal/don't tell policy that waits for an official pronouncement. The gay press and the Internet is much more casual, which is how find out about things way before middle America. The dichotomy created is only seen by people who read the independent sources. It can be blamed on the actors who know these rules very well, or it can be blamed on the media, but the media will get protests if it changes its policy, so to protect themselves they don't report on it, and this leaves the normalcy of gay life in doubt, like it's scandalous to have a boyfriend or something. NPH knew the rules very well, never confirming or denying and so got the best (as he stated) press he could.
Posted by: Anon | Nov 4, 2006 2:34:25 PM
Tomtom, I think you said this better than I! Not everyone has to "just jack" to be considered out. Many of us are out to our families and friends but do not feel the need to out everywhere and to everyone! There are no degrees of gay. Just like pregnancy, you either are or you are not. Who cares if you live you life in the closet so long as you are not hurting anyone. Again, the only person that can be hurt by living in the closet is that person themself!
Posted by: RB | Nov 4, 2006 2:39:30 PM
He could easily have just kept quiet and let his publicist's statement stand and few people would have noticed. But, instead, he chose to make things clear in a classy, affirming way. What a guy. I think we're seeing the start of a trend here and closets, Hollywood, Republican, and otherwise, are quickly becoming anacronisms of the past.
Posted by: sam | Nov 4, 2006 2:43:00 PM
Sometimes i view comments here just to see the carnage; It's amazing how a minority, when given its own space, *sometimes* so readily consumes its own -- and often with such otherwise beautifully formed prose. What they do with such freedom of expression is a true measure of their values and those value's cultural longevity.
Welcome the generational divide.
Purge the mean-spirited, while
there's still a gay-culture to salvage.
rob@egoz.org
Posted by: rob adams | Nov 4, 2006 3:02:12 PM
Hell, I didn't know he was gay. He's just a funny-as-hell guy that I watch in some movies here and there (his part in Undercover Brother was one of the funniest things I've seen forever). So he was really coming out to people like me: straight, fans who had no idea about his sexual preferences.
Here's to him for a no-waffling, honest, classy statement, and here's to his continued happiness in life.
I have to say, though, that our fascination and demands about our public figures' personal lives bothers me. What a person wants to share with the class is entirely up to them--they don't owe the rest of us a damned thing when it comes to whether they are sleeping with boys or girls. It's none of our business.
Lastly, in the interest of full disclosure, this comment is coming from a straight, Christian Republican. Was he taking a risk in coming out to people like me? I suppose a small one; but the bias against the gay community ain't what it used to be.
Judging from what little I know about the guy, I would doubt that it was fear that kept him from coming out in a public way; I imagine it was more that he didn't want his sexuality to be the big focus on his life or career.
But, then, what the hell do I know? I've never met the man and I don't have an undying interest in his personal sexual secrets. I'm just happy we all get to enjoy the public aspect of his life: the talented man who makes us all laugh.
Posted by: zombyboy | Nov 4, 2006 3:15:08 PM
Real simple and straight to the point,"good for him!"
Posted by: FidBit | Nov 4, 2006 3:38:51 PM
I left Perez Hilton a loooong time ago due to his tacky behavior and what I thought was insensitivity to other homos. Now I'm reading that he is claiming that he is responsible for NPH coming out. How true is this? I don't want to go back to his site to check, as I was quite addicted for a long time. What is most of you guys take on this?
Posted by: Larry | Nov 4, 2006 4:14:14 PM
Does being "out" to ones family & friends, but not to the general public (or people whose business it is none of) make one any less "out" than the person with a rainbow sticker on their car? I consider myself to be "out", but I don't feel it necessary to proclaim this to strangers... Just like I don't tell everyone I'm a Christian.
Just wondering...
Love you the same today as I did a week ago Neil.
Posted by: EtotheG | Nov 4, 2006 4:28:21 PM
Well Done NPH!!
Posted by: Ulrich | Nov 4, 2006 4:48:27 PM
Begs the question; is it possible for someone in the public eye to be privately gay? Apparently not. Or at least not yet. The day when the obligation to publically "confess" all is past will be the day when it is possible. Is it encumbent on everyone who is gay to issue an Official Statement on the matter? I would hope no anymore than it is encumbent on any straight public figure to alert the media regarding developments in their personal circs - divorce, marriage, death whatever. These are matters about which the individual should decide how much to reveal or indeed whether to speak about them at all.
Posted by: devout_skeptic | Nov 4, 2006 4:58:37 PM
Photos of "longtime sweetheart" David Burtka here:
http://www.playbill.com/images/photos/burtka1.jpg
http://www.bernadette-peters.com/pics/pics/807.jpg
http://www.broadwayworld.com/upload/11463/butler2.jpg
http://broadwayworld.com/photoops/sink/burdtka3.jpg
Posted by: Paul | Nov 4, 2006 4:58:58 PM
no wonder he's very happy !
Posted by: devout_skeptic | Nov 4, 2006 5:08:32 PM
Congratulations & well done to Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka!
Wishing you both all the best in life.
Posted by: Matt | Nov 4, 2006 5:12:02 PM
NPH is also the name of the Insulin I'm taking.
Next time I give myself a shot I'll smile and picture Dr. Doogie!
Cute as a button, he is.
Posted by: spazmo | Nov 4, 2006 5:15:39 PM
wow. andrew did not give send bitterness. some folks brought it. it's only a gay dude-we see them everyday. calm down.
Posted by: Andrew | Nov 4, 2006 5:24:57 PM
/
Posted by: Andrew | Nov 4, 2006 5:27:24 PM
At least my school is winning. ND!!!
Posted by: Andrew | Nov 4, 2006 5:30:22 PM
TomTom, RB, Rob Adams and ZombyBoy got it right, if you ask me. Why is it that we are so fascinated with these people? If we, as private citizens, demand that our sexuality not be a spotlighted focal tantamount to our totality, why do we then go and demand the same from those in the public eye? The man was obviously doing his thing openly, otherwise. Why is it that we NEED to hear him "confess" it, like it's a prereq to acceptance from our community? It's like we're creating our own double standard and catch 22 at the same time. I know, it's "inspirational" to some and he could be a "role model" to some, but I've never personally been comfortable with hawking total strangers to real people as role models. And we all sit here and look at the Paris Hilton sex tape scandals and the like, and we say "why is this relevant?" but why is it therefore relevant whom Anderson Cooper or NPH goes to bed with at night? And if our argument to social conservatives regarding equal rights in the social arena is that we are people, not a sexual preference, why demand these people become People Magazine covers with the word's "I'M Gay!" plastered in huge letters above their mugs?
Coming out, I think, is different for everyone and I know there are some gays who regard public figures disclosing their sexuality as necessary as well as those like me who say "who cares?" I can respect that. But, I think, our community has a terrible tendency to mis-focus our energy. Why such obviously intelligent people on here sometimes sink themselves to caustic, bitter and downright mean behaviour over something as simple as an internet posting, is beyond me. And over an opinion that you didn't agree with? Does that make any sense? Some of us who gripe about how the mainstream belittles our significance and seeks to tear us down, might wanna stop throwing stones in their glass houses.
On that, I respect NPH for his statement. However, my life is no different today than it was yesterday because of it. But let it be known, I don't want to hear "yes, I'm gay," because a celeb is forced out by the media or some scandal or by the gay community. Just as much as I'd rather not hear Brad Pitt's "yes, I f*cked Angelina doggy style last night" on the same token. NPH, Lance, Ellen and co., congrats on everything. Nothing but respect for you guys. But don't take it personal that I don't expect every single homo to shout it out the same way.
Posted by: Derrick | Nov 4, 2006 5:37:00 PM