News | Religion | Republican Party | Ted Haggard

Ted Haggard: Bought Meth, Didn't Use It; Received Massage, No Sex

Haggardbush_1Ted Haggard told reporters today that he bought meth because he was curious, but got rid of it:

"I bought it for myself but never used it. I was tempted, but I never used it."

Then why, pastor Haggard, did you leave your gay hustler Mike Jones a voicemail inquiring about getting more?

He also told reporters that he received a massage from Jones but never had sex.

Funny, yesterday he didn't know Mike Jones. If the story continues to evolve like this, by next week he'll have had that collegiate orgy he's been fantasizing about.

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  1. Ted Haggard just made the main evening news in Australia which to my knowledge was one better than Mark Foley. Don't think this isn't getting the coverage it deserves.

    Posted by: davidoz | Nov 4, 2006 2:49:46 AM

  2. If Ted confesses his sin and stops persecuting gay people for their life-choices, then I see no reason why he should not return to the Republican sponsored Evangelical Church of America.

    God moves in mysterious ways. This is HIS way of healing the Church in these troubled times of rampant hatred being carried out in the name of the Lord.

    Posted by: Matthew | Nov 4, 2006 5:21:23 AM

  3. LOL

    when i heard about the 'massage' part i immediately thought back to that episode of Sienfield " moved"

    also LOL @ Tony "I had his cock up my ass but I did not grab my toes and spin around on it."

    Posted by: steve | Nov 4, 2006 8:11:53 AM

  4. Good point Leland concerning Evangelicals and redemption. I remember when Swaggart confessed his sins a lot of Evangelicals I knew believed the right thing for him to do was to step down from his position of leadership.

    Obviously he wasn't ready to give up power just yet. Forgiveness and redemption are major aspects of Christianity, but you still pay a price for the choices you make. Being forgiven is not the same as pretending it never happened and continuing to preach from the pulpit while taking the money of sick and elderly followers.

    Haggard's devout followers are totally oblivious to the double standard, the hypocrisy. All they see is a man who slipped. And if he renounces his actions and continues to campaign against the "evil gay lifestyle" that ensnared him, they will welcome him back with open arms.

    Sheep are stupid, smelly animals with no sense of self. Did I mention they are stupid?

    They don't call congregations "Flock" for nothing.

    Posted by: mark m | Nov 4, 2006 10:24:24 AM

  5. Saw Mike Jones on the Today show this morning, and I have to say he was quite credible, in my view. I admit to having the bias that I want to find him credible, but still.

    Posted by: Glenn | Nov 4, 2006 11:04:30 AM

  6. Well put, Mark M, and major points for the "flock" emphasis. Matthew, given your apparent opposition to their hate campaigns, I'm offering a 24-hour special in which I will not flame your apparent embrace of religion, or your blindness to the historical fact that without hate, most evangelicals and pentecostals would be immobilized. Apparently having misread virtually all of what Jesus allegedly said, they are far more concerned about what they think people shouldn't do than what they should, and reinforce their own sense of holiness and superiority by actively hatting those who fall short. It is not just coincidence that white racism was historically, and remains, most rabid among those who needed to believe there is a group lower than themselves and the origins of these spin-off sects now grown huge.

    Haggard is a Jedi Master of their modernized, seductive smile fuck attack. "Born again" Bush, consistent with his grades at Yale, gets a "C"—he tries hard but the forked tongue of the cobra behind the fake smile keeps darting through. Cheney rarely even tries hiding his contempt, his hatred for those who disagree with or are unlike him, while I guess that the only god he genuinely believes in is Himself.

    Matthew, I'll even be uncharacteristically gentle with your word choices that might imply you think gay sex is a sin and "life choice." Perhaps you were only referring to Haggard's admitted "bear(ing) false witness" [he initially insisted he didn't know his accuser] or alleged adultery or admitted purchase of drugs.

    He might convince himself, his followers, and his fellow antigay industry executives that he is no longer gay or bisexual, but he will be incorrect. Celebacy is possible. "Conversion" is not. Don't make me retrieve my Apollo-B69 flamer thrower in response to any fantasy pontifications to the contrary.

    Unlike most gay theists, I won't engage in a hermeneutical debate about what the Bible does or does not say about homosexuality until AFTER those who say it unequivocably condemns it fully practice what they preach about the Bible's alleged inerrancy. In other words, when people like Falwell, among other things, stop wrapping their hog jowls around two giant buns filled with Bubba's Pork BAR-B-QUE, give me a call.

    In the interim, it's important for those less familiar with the Haggardites to understand that his fall from grace and power will only briefly slow their homohysterical jihad down. Some might love him a little less this morning but all, despite their sanctimonious denials to the contrary, hate us just as much as they did the day before. And are still dedicated to using their votes and everything else they have to returning our lives to Hell on earth.

    Posted by: Leland | Nov 4, 2006 11:51:47 AM

  7. Wow Leland! You made some good points, even as I consider myself a Christian, and presented them in the most incredible manner! Everyone knows we have not always agreed, but this time, GREAT JOB! A couple of points had me straying, but the overall thought was right on. I cannot let you get away 100% with all of you posts, but you certainly were "uncharacteristically gentle" this time! I will take issue with your Cheney comment elsewhere. LOL

    Posted by: RB | Nov 4, 2006 2:14:23 PM

  8. "Pastor Ted," the reporter asked. "Have you ever had Mike Jones' dick in your mouth?"
    "Yes," said Pastor Ted. "But it doesn't count because I didn't swallow." (Wide toothy shit eatin' grin.)

    Posted by: Elias | Nov 4, 2006 2:36:05 PM

  9. Do you all agree that maybe it would be a good thing if more evangelicals read towleroad? Particularly if they read, think, and post only when they have something new to say. What say you?

    Posted by: Anon | Nov 4, 2006 2:44:41 PM

  10. I believe he said he didn't pay for sex. I guess it just came free with the purchase of drugs. ;-)

    Posted by: Lord | Nov 4, 2006 2:52:53 PM

  11. the hypocrisy is sickening

    Posted by: tom | Nov 4, 2006 5:46:05 PM

  12. Haggard has officially resigned as pastor of New Life Church after the "overseers" found him guilty of sexual immorality. Evidently they have discovered that he DID have sex with Jones.

    Posted by: Zeke | Nov 4, 2006 6:41:14 PM

  13. what are the actual details? How many times did they meet, and where did the money come from?

    Did they ever do the six college boy thing that Jones said Haggard demanded?

    Why did Haggard talk about his drug use in front of his wife and children?

    All of these things are extremely original, novel and never ever examined questions in the history of gay politics. They need thorough airing, every day till we have the truth, and can find out whether all the other closeted hypocrites have led their lives this way or found other ways to continue to spread self-hatred while making a living at it and hiding their own gayness.

    Will he make any appearances in the last two days to campaign against gay marriage if he feels that it's still a moral truth, no matter if he personally is a FUCKING HYPOCRITE, just like every self-hating gay republican?

    These are the questions we need a lot of time to go over. I'd make a special contribution to Towleroad to make sure we keep a really detailed archive about all the self-hating republican homophobes who are trying to make their living endangering our rights and our physical safety every day by demonizing us to the rest of the country. Wouldn't you?

    Posted by: bananafanafoboombam | Nov 4, 2006 7:24:55 PM

  14. Here are some choice quotes from the article linked below:

    From the Rev. Ted:

    Oct 29th services: "Father, help us this next week and a half as we go into national elections," he said. "Father, we pray that lies would be exposed. We pray that deception would be exposed." (!!)

    "As soon as we believe that we can think, say or do secret things, there is a greater opportunity for the enemy to violate God's Word (sic)," Haggard wrote in his book "Primary Purpose." "After all, the newspaper's best headlines are accounts of people doing things they thought would remain a secret."


    The Rev. Benjamin Reynolds, who left his own church, Emmanuel Missionary Baptist Church, last Sunday after revealing he was gay, said that "the whole body of Christ is hurting. I'm not a member of New Life, but I'm certainly hurting."

    "This makes my faith stronger knowing the devil roams the earth like a lion devouring people," said Rick Ricchi, 49, a church member for five years. "It tells me how much I need Jesus in my life . . . It makes me realize anyone can be tempted."

    Posted by: Anon | Nov 5, 2006 1:02:05 AM

  15. bananafanafoboombam, NOT all gay repubs are "self-hating republican homophobes". Here we go again...and I thought we had beat this one to death several weeks ago! You do not have to be self loathing or anti-gay to be a repub. Some may be, but not all are! I happen to know some "moderate" dems and do not classify ALL dems as liberals. Come on...

    Great quotes Anon! He is a complete hypocrite! But then again, you rarely find the hypocrite on the bar stool next to you. Unfortunately, they are in church!

    Posted by: RB | Nov 5, 2006 7:05:41 AM

  16. here we go again, the republicans trying to shut down the discussion of hypocrites who spread anti-gay hate.

    No, let's all let them go to rehab for two weeks, and come back to Fox News and pass judgement on us. Let's stop calling out their self-hatred and let them get born-again AGAIN and keep on passing judgement on us so they can take our rights away and incite young jerks to attack and kill us.

    Thanks for the gay republican talking point...there's really no anti-gay hatred you don't tolerate, as long as it comes from a rich republican...

    There is so much more to this story -- and to the stories of all the closeted gay Republicans who make livings out of selling gay hatred to this country and the world.

    Job one in the next two, five, and 10 years is to expose every one of them and show the real Christians in this country that republican politics have corrupted the churches at their root. Republicans infected the churches with politics and hatred and look at them now. Like RB, all they do is protect REPUBLICANS. They have perverted the churches and Republicans only want to protect themselves.

    Posted by: bananafanafoboombam | Nov 5, 2006 8:27:39 AM

  17. Well, not all self-hating gays are Republican it is safe to say.

    What struck me about the first quote above is that the prayer seems to have been answered!

    Here is another fact from an article this morning:

    Nearly 22 years after that first service, the church has a congregation of 14,000 and a huge complex on the edge of Colorado Springs. Each Easter, the sanctuary is transformed into a theater for an extravagant passion play with a cast of hundreds, live animals, Cirque du Soleil-style acrobats portraying angels — and special effects worthy of Broadway.

    Now, could a gay preacher do any better! Oh, make that "out" gay preacher. Ha!

    Posted by: Anon | Nov 5, 2006 10:41:25 AM

  18. Man of the Year status for Mike Jones.

    let's watch his defense develop: the meth made me gay...

    Posted by: Jeff Foote | Nov 5, 2006 7:54:42 PM

  19. ....sorry...that would be Haggard's developing defense....the meth made me gay.

    Posted by: Jeff Foote | Nov 5, 2006 7:56:23 PM

  20. bananafanafoboombam...I have never been to rehab, not into stopping free speach, not "born again", NOT CLOSETED, etc, etc, etc. But you would never know that as all I said was that I was not a "self hating republican homophobe". Your assumptions are mind boggling. Your lack of acceptance appalling and your inability to accept diversity is a travesty. Again, I AM A GAY REPUB AND I AM NOT SELF LOATHING OR CLOSETED! Please look beyond your own prejudice and listen to me!!!!! Unless you are no less the enemy and are just as judgemental as you say the "republicans" are? Just a thought.

    Posted by: RB | Nov 5, 2006 9:03:57 PM

  21. Here is part of Haggard's amazing "confession":

    "For extended periods of time, I would enjoy victory and rejoice in freedom," Haggard wrote. "Then, from time to time, the dirt that I thought was gone would resurface, and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach."

    So, he's a gay man trapped in a religion and marriage for which he was clearly never intended to join. It occurs to me now that we can argue that homosexuality is not a sin, per se, because a str8 man or women would never be tempted by such a "sin". They would never have any desire for gay relations, in contrast to Haggard, who has been "struggling" all his adult life. There is no commonality among all humans with this temptation, unlike greed or lust or sloth, etc. It's sort of like tempting the blind with pictoral pornography. For a preacher to stand up and yell at str8 men to not sleep with other men is almost bizarre since they would never do it anyway. It does however, give everyone the rush of moral rectitude. Str8 men everywhere can say to themselves, "See, I don't sleep with men! Aren't I so wonderful! I've managed to avoid this temptation all my life!" And I think clever preachers are aware of this problem, so the whole issue of demon possession comes up. Why, if you are not possessed, you have nothing to worry about, but watch out if you are!

    Now, the replacement preacher they've got, Ross Parsley, I will confess, does also come across as a bit gay too, so perhaps this story is not over.

    Finally, I think we need to press good ol' Jim McGreevey on this story and get his reaction. Does he have any advice for the Rev. Haggard? Does he think the Rev. should admit his orientation and "go over to the other side" as JMcG finally managed to do under somewhat similar circumstances?

    Posted by: Anon | Nov 6, 2006 1:30:42 AM

  22. My goodness, Anon, there goes another helping of, Republican self-loathing! Always goes back to that, there's just no escaping it. It comes out of their mouths.

    Here's more of the bullshit that Republicans are trying to float over the whole Haggard - Mehlman - Dreier - Schrock - Foley they claim that HYPOCRISY is GOOD FOR YOU!!!

    Consider the hypothetical case of two men. Both are inclined toward homosexuality. Both from time to time hire the services of male prostitutes. Both have occasionally succumbed to drug abuse.

    One of them marries, raises a family, preaches Christian principles, and tries generally to encourage people to lead stable lives.

    The other publicly reveals his homosexuality, vilifies traditional moral principles, and urges the legalization of drugs and prostitution...

    ...the first man may well see his family and church life as his "real" life; and regard his other life as an occasional uncontrollable deviation, sin, and error, which he condemns in his judgment and for which he sincerely seeks to atone by his prayer, preaching, and Christian works.

    Yet it is the first man who will if exposed be held up to the execration of the media, while the second can become a noted public character - and can even hope to get away with presenting himself as an exemplar of ethics and morality.

    How does this make moral sense?


    I've had it with Republican criminals and adulterers demonizing gay people. Gingrich is already cheating on his third wife and spreads hate against gay people. No. Not ever again.

    Gay republicans are the only proof in this world that rape victims really want it.

    Posted by: bananafanafobamboom | Nov 6, 2006 4:56:19 AM

  23. Where does that quote come from? Two wrongs don't make a right and what about Jim McG?

    Posted by: Anon | Nov 6, 2006 10:01:13 AM

  24. So the Hypocrisy continues. "Forgive me". Now where have I heard that before. Was it form the bastards that shafted me when I was young? Was it the priests that taught at my boarding school, or the local church? Was it those who stole, cheated, me and then went to confession for protection and forgiveness? or was it those who hide behind the cloak and dagger society of the religious faternity that have raped, pilaged, stole, bashed, murdered, decieved, lied, bred greed, divorced, over the centuries? Religion is the greatest evil known. They say we will go to hell, but I think hell is here on Earth, and the door is marked with a giant crusifix outside.

    Posted by: Wayne | Nov 7, 2006 4:40:23 AM

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