Stefano Gabbana: Same-Sex Parents Unfit to Raise Children

Dolce_gabbana_1Stefano Gabbana (left), one half of the formerly-a-couple fashion duo Dolce & Gabbana, has told an Italian newspaper he wants a child with a woman because he believes a child should not be raised by same-sex parents:

“My dream is to have a baby, not to adopt one because I am not up to it and I don’t feel strong enough. I want my own child, a biological child, the fruit of my sperm, conceived through artificial insemination because it wouldn’t make sense for me to make love to a woman I don’t love. The person I love today is my partner so I am looking for a civilised and refined woman. A week ago I asked a dear friend of mine, who is twelve years younger than me, if she would help. I asked her ‘Would you like to be the mother of my child ?’ She was left a bit shocked and the following day telephoned and said she was still shocked but thought it was a great idea. I am opposed to the idea of a child growing up with two gay parents. A child needs a mother and a father. I could not imagine my childhood without my mother. I also believe that it is cruel to take a baby away from its mother.”

He also commented on his split from his designing partner Domenico Dolce:

“It was a real shock, a body blow. What surprises me is how we have overcome this traumatic breakup which is just the same for any couple if they are gay or hetero. We are still together because what we had was a great love story. I have a relationship with someone else know but Domenico will always be the most important person in my life. Intelligently we have managed to remain good friends and accomplices. Instead of the business splitting we have continued to work and will continue to work together. It’s been difficult but we managed it.”

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Comments

  1. Aaron says

    I suppose everyone has a right to their own opinion, I just wish that they would explain a little more.

    It’s easy to say that two gay parents shouldn’t raise a child. But they never explain why.

    It’s easy to say that “a child needs a mother and a father.” But they can’t explain why.

    I think someone has been drinking the kool-aid.

  2. Damon says

    I found what he said to be bullshit cause same-sex couples are equally fit to raise an intelligent, healthy child. While on the other hand, I’m too concerned about not having a female or male figure to influence the child.

  3. Zeke says

    He also failed to explain how his arrangement is going to provide a child with a mother and a father any more than any other arrangement. I assume that he intends for the child to live with his mother (since it’s cruel to take a child from his mother) so how is he going to be a father, living with his boyfriend (separate from his child) anymore than any other gay person who has a child?

    He also doesn’t explain whether he thinks it’s cruel to take a child away from his father or if it’s only the mother who’s critical to the child’s developement.

    Did he bother talking to kids who were raised by same sex parents, or single parents (especially single fathers)? Has he ever talked to people who were raised by mixed gender couples who abused or neglected them?

    Frankly I think this guy is repeating the talking points of the Catholic Church and he should consider just keep his sperm to himself for the good of everyone concerned.

  4. Brian says

    Actually I think that a child would be more damaged as a result of being raised by an Italian fashion designer. If the child is a girl, imagine the totally screwed-up body image she’ll be surrounded by…

    “Hello, is this the emergency pediatric eating disorders clinic? Yes, I’ll hold.”

  5. _____ says

    I think it’s not so much hetero or homo couples–I think kooks raising children is the real problem.

    Posted by: Daniel | Dec 11, 2006 12:52:10 PM

    WELL PUT! Very simple, to the point, and true. And I gree 100% with Zeke as well.

    But let’s face it, the dude is a fashion designer and I’m guessing most gay fashion designers don’t deal with shit that regular gay folks deal with, or even care much about gay rights because they don’t deal with discrimination since they live and dominate in the fashion world.

  6. chrisnyc says

    Seriously, i care as much about the social/political/psychological opinions of someone who designes clothes as I do about self-hating gay republicans. Why is this news? How is he important socially other than whether this year’s line is good or bad?

  7. says

    He’s a fashion designer, not an anthropologist. We’ll live.

    N.B. The term Eurotrash is a vile pejorative, as nasty (and misleading) in its own way as any other ethnic slur. Gay men ought to know better – and most do, really – but apparently the experience of sneering disdain in one sphere of life can’t teach some individuals to avoid recreating it in others.

  8. pbnyc59 says

    What is also disturbing is his selfishness in asking a straight woman to give up her hopes of finding a straight partner and is being asked to be his surrogate.

    What an ahole, god help the poor kid.

  9. says

    He really buys into the propoganda doesn’t he?!

    So much so he doesn’t see the hypocrisy/irony of his own choice of having a child with a woman who he won’t live with. So, it’s bad to have a child with two parents of the same sex, but it’s all right to have a child with immediately divorced and separate parents? (hey, I think it’s fine if they worked it out, just hypocrisy to say one is bad and the other is good).

    And he disses adoption right away (which adds a whole other layer of irony and hypocrisy to his words)…

    oh well.. maybe this shows my gay credentials are lacking, but I didn’t even know who he was :D..

  10. peterparker says

    All of the Dolce and Gabbana clothing worn by celebrities is given to them by the company. The only people who actually spend money on the clothes are gay men. If we all decided to boycott Dolce and Gabbana, they’d go out of business in about 48 hours flat. Do I feel a letter writing campaign coming on?

    Dolce and Gabbana
    Via Santa Cecilia, 7
    20122 Milano
    Italy

    Dolce and Gabbana Public Relations
    Via Goldoni, 10
    20129 Milano
    Italy

    D&G Public Relations
    Via Giuseppe Broggi, 23
    20129 Milano
    Italy

    Dolce and Gabbana USA, Inc.
    660 Madison Avenue
    New York, NY 10021
    212.750.0055

  11. jimmyboyo says

    Hmmm

    Nature shows that Coyotes utilize the eldest daughter to help raise pups….does that mean Nature says it takes a village to raise a child??

    Nature shows japanese Monkeys utilizing two females with no males around after impregnation to raise children…is Nature/ Reality saying that only females can raise children?

    Nature shows 1 Bull seal with hundreds of female seals and only the females raise ythe children

    Nature= reality no matter what some priest, politican, or guru says…..nature shows that whatever works is what is best for the species. That nature is different across the board……Nature is NOT dogmatic

    Oh, and good hamster parents eat their young quite often…:-) So mothers and fathers should eat their babies because it is only natural

    Gabban should have just kept his trap shut

  12. RP says

    Fastlad,

    I disagree. I don’t think “Euro-trash” is that entirely offensive in the grand scheme of things. All that is being singled out really is “trash” from the continent of Europe. It’s not as if the poster referred to any real taboo (id est religion, race, et cetera).
    I mean come on… you can’t say that there isn’t “North American trash” and whatnot. It’s just one of those universals; in every culture and continent there are people who detract from the rest.
    I do respect what you are trying to say, but I think you may be on PC overload.

  13. jimmyboyo says

    PS

    Ducks form Triads quite often

    1 female, 1 Alpha Male that mates with the female, and 1 beta/sub male that only mates with the alpha male….all 3 raise the children.

    So according to the ducks (whom I respect a lot more than politicans and priests) every heterosexual couple must go out and bring a gay man into the relationship for the pleasure of the husband and the raising of healthy kids. :-)

  14. Jeff says

    The guy’s a self-absorbed reject. He simply wants to jump on the celebrity “let’s have a baby” bandwagon, and doesn’t want to have to go to all the bother of jetting off to Africa a la Madge. Whoever said it first was right – he shouold keep his sperm to himself.

  15. peterparker says

    Bryan…if you think we should continue to spend our dollars with some Italian faggot who says two gay guys can’t/shouldn’t raise children then YOU are the silly queen. Oh, and buddy, the only people who use the word ‘nelly’ are southern queens who’ve never ventured north of the Mason-Dixon line…get out and see the world and you might come to the same conclusion I have.

  16. peterparker says

    I think it is perfectly appropriate to boycott any business owner who says, as Stefano Gabbana said, “I am opposed to the idea of a child growing up with two gay parents.” And any homosexual who can’t see the appropriateness of such a boycott is a self-loathing dumb ass.

  17. says

    RP,

    I can’t speak for “every culture and continent,” so I’ll just tell you what I believe myself: calling someone “white trash” is completely offensive and hateful; calling someone “Eurotrash” is likewise.

    It’s not PC overload, it’s just basic manners, I think.

    And in the case of Stefano Gabbana it’s also misplaced, since I suspect he makes more money than all of us combined.

  18. Mikey B says

    On so many levels, his decision isn’t about the child in question. The fact that he doesnt want to adopt a child in a world with so many children that dont have parents; the fact that the generation gap between his child and himself is several decades; and the fact that the child will be born in a situation between two people who aren’t a family. His decision is purely self-satisfying. It’s too bad he’s such a strong voice in our community.

  19. Daniel says

    Fastlad, I embrace my white trash background, Velveeta cheese, cream-of soups and all. Also, euro-trash (like white trash) isn’t really about income–it’s about mind-set and lifestyle. I suspect the euro-trash label is wrong because I think most euro-trash tend to be more blase or apathetic about what other peole think or do.

  20. Zeke says

    I would not have had a problem with this gentleman if he had simply said, “I want MY child to have a mother and a father because I think a child needs a mother and a father.” The man is entitled to his opinion and he’s entitled to have and raise his family as he sees fit regardless of the ignorance and hypocrisy evident in his statement.

    Where I take exception and offense with him, and others, is when they start making universal proclamations like, “I am opposed to the idea of a child growing up with two gay parents.” At that point his statement went from being a personal opinion about how he wants to have and raise his own child and instead became an ignorant and arrogant statement of judgment and ridicule upon those of us who are raising our children as same-sex parents.

    As usual, I believe the answer to ignorance is education. And as usual, I believe people learn from people who talk to them calmly, rationally and thoughtfully more effectively than they do from people who scream and call them names. If this gentleman were using his business to promote his anti same-sex parents views, then I might join PeterParker in a boycott, not that I’ve ever owned a D&G label in my life, but since, as far as I can tell he isn’t, I have to believe that education should be our first weapon of choice against his ignorance.

    PeterParker, I usually agree with your message but I am often stung and turned off by your delivery especially when it contains ad homenem personal attacks (ie with RB). As a proud Southerner I can’t imagine why you would make a derogatory and xenophobic comment about Southerners just to take a swipe at Bryan from Texas.

    I’m a “Southern queen” from Mississippi (some might even say THE Mississippi Queen) and I’ve been known to use the term “nelly”; what should I think about your statement?

  21. Eric says

    “And any homosexual who can’t see the appropriateness of such a boycott is a self-loathing dumb ass.”

    Such conviction. I’d slot you into the same category as people who want to boycott Sears because of company’s so-called “pro-homosexual lifestyle advertising”. They’re equally moronic ideas. It’s a shame that people fall victim to those that think they’re doing some sort of public good by rallying boycotts and lawsuits against what they don’t agree with.

  22. Zeke says

    “And any homosexual who can’t see the appropriateness of such a boycott is a self-loathing dumb ass.” — PeterParker

    I wanted to touch on this statement as well.

    First let me say that I think boycotts are only effective when they are well organized and have a very clearly stated purpose and goal.

    I for one don’t think that being angry that someone has an unpopular opinion and the cajones to state it is a good reason to boycott.

    The AFA boycotts every time a gay person farts and their boycotts have become jokes. How much less effective would a gay boycott of D&G be without the money or massive soapbox of the AFA? And do we really want to emulate the itchy boycott trigger finger antics of the AFA?

    PeterParker let me try to explain why I think this particular instance does not warrant a boycott.

    What we have here is an individual who owns a large company expressing his personal opinion and NOTHING more.

    I disagree with what he said but I don’t think it warrants a boycott. In my opinion, the reasonable response to this is of course to EDUCATE. Beyond that one could reasonably make a personal decision to not purchase the product that his company produces and to get the word out about what he said so that others can also make a personal choice to do, or not do, the same. That way no one who disagrees with him feels that they are personally funding him.

    Now if he were actually working to deny other people the right to be parents by supporting legislation or by making public speeches that advocated such legal prohibitions, I would think that calling for a boycott of his company would be a totally reasonable way to send him a message and I would be right there with you.

    So, even though I don’t see the appropriateness of calling for a boycott in this instance, I don’t think it is appropriate, or accurate, to call me, or others who disagree, a self-loathing dumbass.

    “Boycott” and “self-loathing” are two of the most overused terms in our community. Ironically it’s that very over use that renders both of them ineffective.

  23. peterparker says

    Zeke,

    First of all, let me say that I would be surprised if *anyone* posting on this blog has a bigger southern redneck background than mine. I spent my first 18 years living in south Georgia in a town of 300 (yes, three hundred) people. The town was so far in the boondocks that you had to drive for an hour before you reached the nearest supermarket or movie theater. I then went to college in Athens, Georgia and graduate school in Atlanta. I think that cumulative experience of 24 years living in the south earns me the right to comment on the fact that the *only* gay men I’ve ever known to use the word ‘nelly’ are the ones who grew up in the south, came out in the south and have never lived anywhere but the south. It’s pretty clear to me that living in that poisonous environment (let’s face it as southerners together…the south is still b-ass-ackwards) predisposes one to accept whatever judgements and scorn are heaped upon you. And I think that Bryan from Texas might be reaching the same conclusion I’d reached if he’d lived in other parts of the country. And, though you didn’t ask, yes, I know how to drive a tractor.

    Regarding my belief that we should be boycotting Dolce and Gabbana in protest of Stefano Gabbana’s ignorant, self-centered comments, I stand by my statements that we should threaten them with a boycott. And believe me Zeke, it hurts me to take that position much more than it hurts you. I am a complete clothes-whore and I have a closet full of Dolce & Gabbana including a wicked bomber jacket with a beaver collar that I’ll probably never wear again thanks to this idiot Stefano Gabanna’s ridiculous statements.

    Besides, Zeke, this wasn’t simply a statement by some queen on the street about his personal views of parenting. Stefano Gabbana is a powerful person and many in Italy look up to him. And if you click on the link (provided by Andy) you’ll find that he gave his interview at a time when the Italian government has been in turmoil from within and has been attacked by the Vatican from without because of efforts by left-leaning politicians to grant the same rights to Italian gay couples as those enjoyed by Italian straight couples…and those rights include the right for same-sex couples to adopt children. I can’t imagine his comments have done anything but hurt the cause of GLBT people/couples in Italy.

    You think that education is the way to change people’s minds, and I agree with you WHEN YOU HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BIGOT. But when talking about a businessman/public figure you’ve never met who is running around saying things that are homophobic (and let’s face it, Stefano Gabbana’s comments were homophobic) the best way to get them to pay attention is by hitting them where it hurts most…in their pocketbook.

    I think we all remember that we were writing letters to Macy’s earlier this year because they removed the Gay Pride flag from their window when a bigot complained…yet we’re going to give one of our own a pass when he says in an interview he doesn’t believe a child should be raised by us?! Incredible!

    xo
    peterparker

  24. Jack says

    I love their clothing. Remember that there are more designers than Stefano creating the clothes. I’m not boycotting their clothing and putting innocent gay men on the streets.

    I completely understand his need to reproduce a child of his own. I want to too. But I’m baffled that he thinks two men can’t parent a child. I’ve been trying to understand it all day. I still don’t know why he thinks that way.

  25. says

    I remember the other day I read an article concerning a young mother who killed her infant child by putting it in the microwave and turning it on.

    Why is it that people can’t see that crazy comes in all colors, all shapes, all sizes and all sexual orientations. Yes, some gay parents will suck at it. Yes, plenty of straight ones have been sucking at it for years.

    I never had a father and yeah, part of me will always wonder who I’d be today if I did, but I didn’t. Such is life. And life goes on. Mr. Gabana should remember that “ideal” isn’t always the only way to do things.

    …because lord knows, ideally I’d be rich, gorgeous and and on the good side of a Ryan Gosling/Jake Gyllenhaal sandwhich.

  26. Ryan says

    Their clothes are very last decade, I think a lot of people are ‘boycotting’ them. Wouldn’t it be sad if the fruit of his sperm was somehow less than perfect?

  27. EM says

    It’s only his opinion. Whatever works for him. Gay people have more than prooven they can raise kids successfully.

    Maybe it’s just his lifestyle that he sees preventing him from raising kids, his line of work and the the lifestyle that comes with it.

    I don’t know. It doesn’t mean he’s right, and he shouldn’t judge others by his own standards.

  28. Cory says

    Summation:

    An irreverent and arrogant homosexual “fashion designer” makes a disparaging and self-deprecating attention seeking statement most likely to fill the void in his life that fashion has failed to satisfy. As interesting as this is, I’ll be moving on to the latest news bombings in Iraq cause somehow I feel that matters more to me personally. In the end, people will look back on this and ask, “Gabbana who?”.. =)

  29. Cory says

    “I remember the other day I read an article concerning a young mother who killed her infant child by putting it in the microwave and turning it on.”

    Omg, Derrick, please tell me you’re joking? Please…

  30. pbnyc59 says

    CORY it is true, and not the first time eitheer. It happened up here once before and the mother was just arrested, it seems the police had a hard time building a case against her.

    Also while admit that Iraq is a far more pressing matter, most people only watch and read fluff. Like what’s new with TomKat or Britany. There are also many straights who will listen to Gabbaba and say ‘see, even their own people think it’s wrong for gays to have kids’ It is sad but true.

  31. Bryce says

    someone wrote…

    “I love their clothing. Remember that there are more designers than Stefano creating the clothes. I’m not boycotting their clothing and putting innocent gay men on the streets.”

    Uhmmmm….if they’re talented they can find jobs somewhere else.

  32. dpnash says

    To provide some bit of context or something here, the guy’s comments seem very much in line with observations a friend of mine who lives in Italy has made regarding gay Italian men. He says pretty much all Italian men are “mama’s boys” who are terrified of disappointing or disobeying their mothers. Which is why, he says, so many gay men in Italy remain sort of semi-closeted – they may have gay friends and gay social life but their mothers and families don’t know and they’d never dream of telling them. So it sounds to me like Mr. Gabbana is voicing a sort of Italian national complex about family life. Whereas in America we’ve become more open-minded about single parents and gay parents. So I think his comments sound more shocking to us than they do to Italians, and that they weren’t really meant to be so. (Which isn’t really an excuse, I just think it tempers things a bit and makes it less a personal thing of Mr. Gabbana’s, and more of a broader issue that needs considering and addressing.)

  33. Cory says

    DPNAS, spot on. I dated a guy from Canada who parents were off the boat Italians. From my personal experience, and not to generalize, but Italian men are typically Mama’s boys. It’s an amusing culture…

  34. lee Gordon says

    he is a moron. He’s a fashion designer, not an intellectual, so whad ya expect? Next we’ll have to hear what hairdressers have to say about the matter? And to an Italian, Mother=God.

  35. brainiac_amour says

    God I hate these narcissistic ‘fashionista’ arseholes. This is a total ego trip; he wants a woman to have his child so that she can spend all night and day looking after his child; getting up in the middle of night to feed and wipe its little arse; making up bottles, cleaning up his child’s sick etc etc and and what’s this idiot Gabbana going to do? Pay a visit to admire his progeny, the fruit of his sperm, once in a while? Just to satisfy his desire to have a kid. Mid-life crisis much? A baby is not a bloody commodity you fool. As for the ‘gays don’t make good parents’ crap. Geez… what planet is this cretin living on??

    Wrong wrong wrong.

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