NFL Defensive Tackle Warren Sapp Retires After ‘Gay Porn’ Incident

Sapp

At the end of December during his second-to-last game, Oakland Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp, who announced his retirement on Thursday after 13 years in the NFL, was fined $75,000 for a confrontation with officials which led to his ejection from the Raiders-Jaguars match-up.

In discussing the incident with Sports Illustrated, Sapp unearthed a euphemism, which up till now I hadn’t heard before.

Said Sapp: “It was something that was really, really on the edge of like, gay porn. When it’s real bad football, that’s what we call it: gay porn. Something you just don’t want to watch. Something you just don’t want to see on TV. Something you don’t even want to talk about. That’s gay porn.”

That said, I’ve changed my mind and I’m hoping Tom Brady and Brett Favre play a lot of real bad football in the playoffs.

(via deadspin)

UPDATE: I’ve been told that Sapp’s “gay porn” comments may be about a year old, something not noted in the deadspin or realests posts. So, of course, it’s entirely possible he may have grown comfortable to taking it in by this point.

You may have missed…
Sportrait: Brett Favre [tr]
Tom Brady’s First Beefcake Shot [tr]
Ringing in 2008 with Brady Quinn [tr]
Sportrait: 2007 Heisman Award Hotties Tim Tebow, Darren McFadden, Colt Brennan, and Chase Daniel [tr]

Comments

  1. Derrick from Philly says

    Well, it doesn’t surprise me, but I still say that football players are the least homophobic of all athletes. I think it’s those big bubble buns they all have. How can you not notice each other in the locker room with big bubble buns. I still love football players– well, except for Tom Brady and his crew. I’ll love them again after they loose to Jacksonville on Sunday.

  2. the queen says

    ah yes Derrick, my dear, i agree with you, big bubble buns and hefty low danglers and this big black stud’s got me lickin my lips…

  3. Banjiboi says

    I wonder what would happen if you repeat the phrase gay porn too many times in one paragraph? Is like saying Candyman four times in a row? Will 3 hot guys suddenly appear and grease you down for a plunging?

    Is Mr. Sapp even AWARE of this?

  4. Jordan says

    Ok, I really don’t get this one. What does he mean? Was he in some gay porn? I don’t understand football at all, but the guys are hot.

    And yes, I read it over and over. Just don’t get it. He’s hot tho’.

  5. says

    Amusing!! What’s hard for me is not being able to find gay porn with hot football players indulging in…Ahem!…Well never mind!

  6. Derrick from Philly says

    Well, JORDAN, it’s pro-athletes (or any kind of athlete) trying to be clever. They think they’re making a creative “take” on phrases that have a different meaning for the rest of us. To them, gay porn is supposed to be so disgusting to watch that a terrible execution of a play on the football is equivalent to the “disgust” of watching gay porn. Wonder how they know what happens in gay porn? Do they realize it’s the same stuff they did when they spent the night over their aunt’s house; shared the bed with their first cousin, LaDainian and had “fun”. That’s when they were both thirteen year old boys, and couldn’t get pussy regularly–yet. By age sixteen (when they start junior varsity football) they pretend it never happened. Honey, I know “trade”.

    “Queen slang” vernacular somewhat very similar. ONly thing is queens are far more sophisticated and articulate than most athletes–well, I’m kinda’ prejudiced here. A “queen” would say to you (in 1980): “Child, I was out trying to get me some meat last night–almost plucked me a piece of trade, and didn’t the Blue Nuns come ridin’ down the street, and blocked Mama’s action.” Translation: I was out cruising for some dick last night, almost got me a man when the police arrived, and ruined the scene.”

    Warren Sapp is able to translate his slang into Standard English, most of the folks where he came from, can not. Most queens can (again, I’m a little prejudiced here).

  7. Jordan says

    Ok DERRICK, I got the ‘clever’ part, but you lost me after that.

    I’m guessing he’s dissing us or something.

  8. peterparker says

    For the record, Warren Sapp is the *last* person I would *ever* want to see in gay porn.

  9. patrick nyc says

    Neanderthal.

    This man is not hot inside or out, anymore than Isaiah Washington is, though he was on the outside to me until he opened his homophobic trap. We all have different tastes, so I’ll defer to those who thing that Sapp is either hot or attractive. I prefer men like Isiah Thomas, until like Washington, they showed their hateful insides. They maybe hot on the outside but are ugly inside, where it really counts.

  10. justincredible says

    Yeah Patrick. Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes down to the bone.

    Derrick I’m still laughing at your comments. Oh the joy of lex!

  11. So Left I'm Right says

    Oh Nic, the doggie style comment was too good to be true! I’m sure Reggie would do it for enough money (anyone have $300K lying around?) I’ll take LT in my “fantasy football” gay porn scene.

    And yet I’ll still be watching all of the playoffs this weekend.

  12. Larry says

    NFL football makes me as horny as gay porn especially in hi def

    Stadium football is just plain ol gay

  13. Larry says

    NFL football makes me as horny as gay porn especially in hi def

    Stadium football is just plain ol gay

  14. says

    Watching football with the sound off is pretty much soft-core gay porn, with the butts and the pile-ups and the grunting. I especially like when teams wear white pants so you can see the straps of their jockstraps.

  15. Wheezy says

    “….that’s what we call it: gay porn. Something you just don’t want to watch. Something you just don’t want to see on TV. Something you don’t even want to talk about. That’s gay porn.”

    Funny, according to Mickey Skee in his 1997 “Tricks of the Trade, 1/3 to 1/2 of the adult industry is devoted to gay sales and rentals. Last year I believe that adult film netted 10 billion dollars. Which would seem to indicate that SOMEBODY thinks gay porn is a good thing and wants to see it.

  16. mike says

    Sapp is a sap. Plain and simple. Another pampered, pussy, punk, loud-mouth, dick-brain, homophobic jock blows off his big, ugly mouth. Hey, Warren, you’re gonna love working at the car wash.

  17. mike says

    Sapp is a sap. Plain and simple. Another pampered, pussy, punk, loud-mouth, dick-brain, homophobic jock blows off his big, ugly mouth. Hey, Warren, you’re gonna love working at the car wash.

  18. Jaimie says

    Just because straight guys don’t want to see gay guys having sex doesn’t make them homophobic. Lesbian porn would not be very appealing to me, but I don’t hate lesbians.

  19. Celtiberius says

    This is actually one I heard a lot in my military days. Meant to be used in the same context as “a train wreck”. “It was like watching gay porn. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself.” I was once at a party in an apartment shared by two ex-marine investment bankers. The TV was on public access gay porn and the channel didn’t change all night.

  20. Bron says

    Leave it to a man who get paid to roll around with sweaty guys and take showers with other men on a daily basis to say some shit like this.

    IF YOU DON’T LIKE WATCHING GAY PORN WHY DO YOU TALK ABOUT IT SO DAMN MUCH YOU FUCKING RETAERD?

    “We say GAY PORN all the time, because we dont like talking about gay porn!!!”

    what a fuckin dumbass… oh yea… let me spell this out…

    THE GAYEST THINGS IN AMERICA:
    1.) Gay Porn
    2.) Wrestling / MMA
    3.) Football

    The biggest audience in ALL of these are repressed homos.