08/22/2008
GQ Looks at the Condom Quandary
As HIV/AIDS infection rates see a new increase among gay men, an article in GQ looks at condom usage, sero-sorting, pre- and post-exposure prophylaxis as prevention methods:
"Gay men say they feel cheated out of the full pleasure and intimacy of sex, and many have come to perceive condoms as emblems of a still hostile world, imposed on them by a culture that continues to stigmatize gay sex. 'To use a condom every time you have sex, for the rest of your life?' says Daniel Siconolfi, of New York University’s HIV-prevention think tank, the Center for Health, Identity, Behavior, and Prevention Studies. 'That’s a very, very big burden. That’s a lot to ask of somebody. And it’s not being asked of anybody other than gay men.' Hearing young gay men talk this way confuses and even angers, to say the least, gay men of my generation, who watched AIDS decimate the people we loved. It’s true that for the new patients who get diagnosed early and who faithfully take their medications, life with HIV can seem nearly normal now. But AIDS is still a killer. Around 15,000 Americans die every year of the disease, and every new death is a preventable tragedy, every new transmission an inexcusable failure, especially to those for whom the bad old days are not yet ancient history."
Posted 2:17 PM EST by Andy Towle in AIDS/HIV, Magazines, News | Permalink
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"Question -- Regarding the instant test that won't detect infections from the past 6 months, does this mean that no virus is present in the body to be detected, and therefore it's ok to have unprotected sex?"
No. The test is for antibodies to HIV. It can take up to about 6 months from the time of transmission for these antibodies to appear in the blood. (generally, the time is in the 3-6 month range.)
Posted by: MAJeff | Aug 22, 2008 3:27:49 PM
Geeba Monkey, god bless you and the wisdom you bring. I hope that the cure doesn't come too late for you. Keep being strong and being an inspiration.
Posted by: Appalled | Aug 22, 2008 3:28:27 PM
@24Play: Does Dr. Halkitis feel, as his assistant Siconolfi does, that condom use is required only of gay men, or that gay men have no alternative to condom use and multiple partners for the rest of their lives?
If so, then I can only say his academic qualifications have failed to provide him with basic information about the ways gay and straight men actually have sex.
But perhaps he will call up Siconolfi after reading this article in GQ and say, "Hey Dan, haven't you ever heard of gay marriage? Or about the widespread practice of condom use by straight men with multiple partners? Didn't they teach you about that in your master's program?"
Posted by: Distingué Traces | Aug 22, 2008 3:29:00 PM
Distingué Traces:
Well, actually this is not a medical problem. Its a societay, behaviour issue. If you have worked with hiv, you would know that it is a highly non-infectious disease. The levers of transmission are mainly driven by human behaviour.
That is why these experts are all BA in sociology and psychology.
Posted by: Landis | Aug 22, 2008 3:29:57 PM
"I literally don't want shit on my dick..."
Where are y'all living? In the state pen?
Then git rid of the shit! I mean, still wear the condoms--they're a necessity, but clean out your booty (or his booty) before y'all start.
Y'all don't like queens, but atleast we know how to git rid of shit...before we leave out the front door for the park.
Posted by: Derrick from Philly | Aug 22, 2008 3:30:46 PM
"every new transmission an inexcusable failure.." <------ am i the only person offended by that? so everyone that is HIV+ has failed somehow? Also, I feel really bad for Matt, the guy that's afraid to have sex because diseases exist. It must really suck to be him and be filled with so much fear.
Posted by: Rami | Aug 22, 2008 3:33:30 PM
We all need to be more candid about this issue, and in spite of this article's flaws, it is a start.
Let's look at the realities:
The reality is that monogamy is not the norm in the gay community; in fact, it is not the norm among heterosexuals either! Monogamy is not instinctual in human beings, and while many people strive for it for different reasons, there are always going to be risks involved with sex.
The reality is also that condoms reduce stimulation to nerve endings you-know- where. This is a plain fact. That doesn't mean that sex with a condom isn't hot.
I'm not defending unsafe sex, but I am tired of the sanctimonious attitude that a lot of gay men have when discussing HIV. It's great that some of you are monogamous, but statistically speaking , there's about a 70% chance that one of you have cheated, so don't assume that you're getting a free pass.
Obesity-related diseases kill a lot more people, even gay men, and I can't imagine people implying that those who've had heart attacks or cancer somehow are deserving of it because they didn't have a balanced diet. Gay men have some of the highest obesity rates in the country. Should we stigmatize every guy with a belly because they're driving up health care costs for those of us who are more slim?
Posted by: Ian | Aug 22, 2008 3:36:12 PM
As someone who has common acquaintences with the emininet Dr. Halkitis, I can tell you his entire body of research is based upon his own past behavior.
There are plenty of others in HIV prevention in research with equal qualifications who have not been rampant barebacking tweakers in their pasts...but these people unfortunately don't have the NYU PR machine.
Simple minded platitudes from Mr. Siconolfi are old news and nothing new. We need simple prevention messages, such as, "you don't have to use one every time, but the FIRST time is the BEST time." While that doesn't address cheating spouses and liars, if gay men used condoms when they engaged in random hookups the transmission rate would be cut dramatically.
As for "not feeling anything" wearing a condom, that is utter bullshit in my own personal "research." Like Ted, I'm an "above average" guy, and I have only ever had problems with keeping a hard on with a rubber when I have been drinking, or when the fact of the matter is that the sex was about 'getting off' and I wasn't really truly turned on by my partner.
Posted by: NYUBS | Aug 22, 2008 3:37:45 PM
oh and by the way dimwits. can't keep a hard on wearing a rubber, try some Viagra.
Posted by: NYUBS | Aug 22, 2008 3:38:50 PM
@rami:
It's not so bad anymore. It was hard at first. Think of it like quitting smoking. You just get used to it and it becomes a part of who you are.
Posted by: Matt | Aug 22, 2008 3:39:23 PM
The highest obesity rates in the country? Really?
Anyway, it doesn't really matter if monogamy is the norm or not. I'm not monogamous -- I don't even have a boyfriend, much less a committed partner!
Both straight and gay men use condoms when they are not monogamous -- that's all.
Posted by: Distingué Traces | Aug 22, 2008 3:41:31 PM
1. Condoms aren't just to stop AIDS. Or even other known diseases. What happens when the NEXT super-STD comes along?
2. These people need to get better condoms! There are some incredibly thin yet very strong condoms out there. Stop using shitty Trojans and research it a bit. Find a style that you like.
Posted by: Sgt. Sausagepants | Aug 22, 2008 3:42:19 PM
I think D's right on mentioning all the safe sex practices that are available besides fucking. I came of age in the 80's, and had a few occasions of being both top and bottom, with condoms as well as without them with partners I trusted. However, I had a lot (a LOT) more extremely hot sex involving all of the other mentioned methods, which had the additional benefits of being less messy, less painful, and less role-bound. (I.e., no top/bottom arguments.) In fact, when I now view erotica, I'm frequently more turned on by naked guys just making out with each other, doing 69, or jerking each other off, compared with just going straight to the rumpity-pumpity. EVERYONE--straight as well as gay--needs to think about STD's besides HIV, and be more creative with their lovemaking. And if you can only achieve the ultimate orgasm while high on crystal or being fucked without a condom...well, not to be judgmental, but you might want to ask yourself why that is.
Posted by: Dback | Aug 22, 2008 3:45:57 PM
As to condoms inhibiting sensation, I always remember Dr. Ruth dealing with that issue. She had men put condoms on their fingers and feel things -- which they could very well, then she said in her wonderful accent, "Now, do you think your penis is much less sensitive than your fingers?"
Posted by: Kevinvt | Aug 22, 2008 3:52:36 PM
Derrick you always make me smile.
Sgt. Sausagepants (a fabulous name if ever there was one) makes a good point. What are y'all wearing out there? My friend Dan recommends Kimono microthins. What do YOU use that is more sensitive than the shitty Trojans you pick up for free at the bars?
Posted by: The Milkman | Aug 22, 2008 4:05:19 PM
LOL
Derrick
LOL :-)
Yeah, you would think some people never heard of an enema.
Also people would be surprised how diet can affect inner cleanliness. A truly healthy diet can provide tight firm turds with little mess
Posted by: Jimmyboyo | Aug 22, 2008 4:11:46 PM
I'd rather take the 10 seconds to put on a condom than spend the rest of my life having to remember my med cocktails, dealing with chronic diarrhea, constant worry, countless doctor visits and the mental stress.
Posted by: lazycrockett | Aug 22, 2008 4:30:44 PM
I can relate to what the author is saying. I put on my condom when I'm on top and vice versa. But ... I understand where he is coming from.
Posted by: Allen | Aug 22, 2008 5:28:41 PM
Rami: thank you for pointing out the most offensive part of this article. i'm 32 years old, hiv positive, and i dont feel at all as though i have failed anyone...least of all myself! sex is a human desire, and being human is not about being perfect. and all of that said, hiv infection is not a clear cut, black and white call. i contracted hiv through oral sex (scared now, matt?) which, i was told by numerous doctors at the time, was a very safe activity. i didn't let him cum in my mouth, and i don't swallow. still...there are high amounts of hiv in pre-seminal fluid, i was coming down with steep throat, and boom: i'm positive. how did i fail? its everyone's responsibility in this day and age to practice SAFER sex, absolutely, but contracting hiv is not a sign of weakness, stupidity or failure. its a VIRUS, and one that is manageable now in the united states for most people who contract it. its time to get rid of the stigma attached to it.
Posted by: david | Aug 22, 2008 5:46:37 PM
@ IAN:
"Gay men have some of the highest obesity rates in the country."
- Could you please tell us which study came to this conclusion? I would be fascinated to read that.
On another note regarding testing, no one is mentioning RNA testing which does not test for antibodies. If a simple, cheap and effective test were available which could detect infection within 10 days (as RNA testing does) that would dramatically cut infection rates. Why are we not pushing for more accurate and effective RNA testing?
Matt - please do get some help. If you're that scared of HIV that you only can have a furtive jerk off with someone once in a while you're missing out on so much that life has to offer.
Posted by: Gregus | Aug 22, 2008 5:49:10 PM
As someone who used to work for Perry at CHEST I can tell you, NYUBS that you don't know what you are talking about. I worked on his research projects and I know how they were designed and by whom and you obviously haven't a clue of what you speak so you ought to keep your dumb mouth shut.
Posted by: TooBoot | Aug 22, 2008 5:59:11 PM
Just a slight correction: the official CDC guidelines now state that the window period for HIV testing is 3 months, with the vast majority seroconverting within 4-6 weeks of infection. The 6-month window only applies to people whose immune systems are compromised due to chemotherapy or severe drug use.
Posted by: DCN | Aug 22, 2008 6:12:28 PM
Tons of heterosexual couples have bareback anal sex. Why don't they get HIV-AIDS? Because they're not promiscuous. When they have non-condom anal sex, they do it with one partner who is healthy. They don't go to saunas like this promiscuous core of gay guys do. Thus, unlike promiscuous gay guys, they re reducing their exposure to pathogens. Sleazy gay guys need to understand that sleaze is not a good lifestyle. Gay is great but sleaze isn't.
Posted by: jason | Aug 22, 2008 6:21:31 PM
Oh Jason dear, kindly shut the fuck up. Unlike you, a virus does not discriminate.
Posted by: Mark in NYC | Aug 22, 2008 7:05:40 PM
TOOBOOT, clearly you never got invited to the good doctor's bareback parties or once instance I heard of that he was giving tabs of estasy to his staff. Or maybe you didn't didn't notice when he came to work tweaked out after a long weekend of partying and still wanted more so he left on a long lunch to go get seeded by our mutual 'friends'
although our mutual acquaitences could be liars with an axe to grind. I'm just passing along the stories that I have heard from more than one person.
BTW the NYU bio makes no mention of this "CHEST" but a google search showed he worked there at some point...but why his NYU bio doesn't mention that is strange.
Posted by: nyubs | Aug 22, 2008 7:06:00 PM