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Gay Survivor Contestant Spencer Duhm Glad He Doesn't Sound Gay

Spencer

In an interview with Reality Blurred, gay 19-year-old Survivor Tocantins contestant Spencer Duhm expresses embarrassment over last season's gay contestant Charlie Herschel and the 'bromance' he had with fellow straight contestant Marcus (a friendship which Charlie has claimed the show's producers edited to heighten romantically).

Survivor10Says Spencer of Charlie: "First of all, I'm not crushin on Marcus. I understand, first of all, you can do whatever you want, but, have a little discretion, he's straight. Like, leave the man alone. Ugh. It just baffles me. Every time he opens his mouth it's just like 'I love Marcus, Marcus is great. I feel protective when he's around. I feel nervous when he's not around.' It's kind of like alright you have a serious crush on him. This isn't jokin. Stop. Just stop. I'm embarrassed for him. I know he's gotta be sitting at home embarrassed, red-faced."

In the same interview, Duhm thanks God that he's straight-acting and that his voice doesn't sound like a gay man's:

"I don’t like come across like most of the gay guys but I am, so I’ll probably be like—but then again, JP was gay and nobody knew that on the show; he was about the straightest I’ve ever seen. … But I won’t be Todd, I surely won’t be Coby. I won’t be Charlie. Holy shit. I talked to my parents and I was like, ‘Mom, do I sound like that?’ she was like, ‘Sweetheart, no, I would never let you go out in public if you sounded like that.’ Thank God."

Watch an unrelated clip of Spencer giving straight talk to fellow contestant Sandy from last night's premiere, AFTER THE JUMP...

Spencer Duhm: 'I want to be a follower, because that way they just overlook me'" [reality blurred]

Previously
Meet Survivor: Tocantins Gay Competitor, Spencer Duhm [tr]

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Comments

  1. Just another example of the damage done to our community by the years of hateful bigotry by society at large. It's slowing changing, but not fast enough!

    Posted by: Mike | Feb 13, 2009 12:00:06 PM


  2. "Good for him. Im 100% gay but dont look or sound it in the least and find campness a major turn off."

    Well aren't you so proud of your stealthiness? Too bad at the end of the day you're still just another fag.

    I am attracted to more masculine types too, but I find nothing wrong with those who fall more on the feminine side. In fact, they're some of the best people I know. Strong, brave, intelligent people who don't give a f*ck what other people think, including snooty queers who think they're "straighter" than everyone else (as if it were something to be admired).

    Posted by: Wes | Feb 13, 2009 12:05:39 PM


  3. You know, some of you bitches kill me.

    You defended Sam Adams by saying that his relations with the just turned 18 yr old Beau Breedlove was fine because 18 yr olds are legal and mature enough to know what they want.

    Now we have a 19 yr old who clearly is NOT mature you say "cut him some slack, HE's ONLY 19!"

    Which the fuck IS it?!

    Posted by: soulbrotha | Feb 13, 2009 12:06:13 PM


  4. Dear, if you are so worried about sounding gay you might want to do something about that lisp you have going on. And those hand mannerisms. And those gay sounding pronunciations.

    Sure you don't sound like a raging queen but you most defiantly sound gay.

    Posted by: John M | Feb 13, 2009 12:06:34 PM


  5. One of the quickest ways for a guy to become totally unattractive to me is for him to refer to himself as "straight-acting." If he acted as if he were straight, he'd be banging girls.

    Say what you really mean, asshat: I fit in better with the majority; therefore, I am better that you.

    To that I say: STFU.

    Posted by: Ben | Feb 13, 2009 12:07:38 PM


  6. Spencer sounds like an asshole, and that's MUCH worse than "sounding gay".

    I hope the little shit doesn't get anywhere near the end of the game.

    Posted by: ks | Feb 13, 2009 12:07:54 PM


  7. Go him. He may not have the best repitois, but I'm sick of being defined by douchebags like the Fab 5. Really? Those were the best examples they could find to represent queerdom?

    Posted by: CJ | Feb 13, 2009 12:11:33 PM


  8. Eh, he's 19 - at least he's out. But there are a lot of issues to go through and people say a lot of dumb opinionated stuff at least into their mid-20's.

    There are lots of ways to be gay.

    And not all gay people agree, and not all gay people are smart, and not all gay people are nice. Any reader of the Towleroad comments section knows that! ;P

    Posted by: Strepsi | Feb 13, 2009 12:16:30 PM


  9. Ah, youth....internally homophobic youth...

    Hey, Spencer, "straight-acting" is just that....ACTING. I see you don't think of yourself "like Charlie", but I bet a lot of folks would think you look pretty similar with a d**k in your mouth.

    And yes, Spencer offends me.

    Posted by: noteasilyoffended | Feb 13, 2009 12:19:18 PM


  10. I bet he's a Republican.

    Posted by: Michael | Feb 13, 2009 12:31:13 PM


  11. When I was 19 (over a decade agao now - yikes!), I valued the idea of "passing" as much as he does now. I think MANY of us did. Then I came to realize that although I'm not particularly effeminate, I really have to give respect to those boys who just couldn't and wouldn't hide it. They braved a lot more than I ever did, I'm sure. Hopefully, he'll grow out of this mindset, like many of us did.

    Posted by: Jay | Feb 13, 2009 12:37:55 PM


  12. I understand where people are coming from. But I don't really see any major problem with what Spencer had to say. It wasn't like he was saying that to sound effete was beneath him or the most disgusting thing in the world. Some gay people don't sound "gay", and they're as gay as they come. It takes all sorts to make a world, you know. Not everyone can put on a leotard and lip-synch Beyonce Knowles' "Stupid Bitches (Put A Sock In It)" on YouTube (my main problem with that is not the lipsynching or effete-ness, but that we're dignifying that song-stealing, style-stealing, weave-wearing, contrived bitch by lipsynching to her shit, and frankly gay people deserve a better icon than her bitch ass, but that's another story).

    In my narrow experience, I find that gay people are put off by "masculinity" because generally, mainstream culture thinks that a masculine (by conventional standards), confident, friendly, sexy gay man is a massive threat to the status quo, and much prefers their gay men to be effete and swishy to Stephin Fetchit levels. Our culture is so inundated with playing with and turning gender roles on their ears, that we view a gay man who can give Brad Pitt and George Clooney and Sylvester Stallone a run for their money, as well as a lesbian who puts Carrie Bradshaw to shame, as anathema to our causes. They may not play with gender roles as quickly as RuPaul or k.d. lang do, but they're as gay (if not gayer than) as you and me. As for me, I am neither an effete person nor a hyper-masculine one.

    I think that it's a double-edged sword. I think that the relatively-masculine types in our community shouldn't be so quick as to judge the effete ones, but I also think that the effete types in our community shouldn't be so quick as to judge the relatively-masculine types. What if the shoe was on the other foot, and a relatively-effete gay guy on a reality show said that he was glad he didn't talk like or associate with a butch gay guy? What if a big old bull-dyke said that she was glad that she didn't talk like a femme? Would you be so quick to castigate him or her?

    Posted by: Alex Sarmiento | Feb 13, 2009 12:39:02 PM


  13. um, you might not sound "gay" but you sure do sound stupid.

    Posted by: sean | Feb 13, 2009 12:42:44 PM


  14. When I was much younger,a great and gay friend of mine asked me this: "Would you rather be with a really 'hot' guy who had an effeminite voice or an average guy with a masculine voice?" He added, "I'd rather be with the hot guy."

    My response was that I would rather be with the average guy with the masculine voice. I was young, insecure about my sexuality, and not as aware as I would be (in only a year or so)of all the different types of gay guys out there. After all, I was no older than Spencer, and I was indoctrinated into a certain way of thinking.

    Overtime, I met a lot of wonderful guys, who voices and mannerisms might be described as being effeminate (or "gay" by some who misuse the word). I found that many of the most effeminite men in the gay community, just happened to be those most willing to throw themselves onto the front line to fight social injustice, maintained such amazing sense of humors, and had terrific senses of self.

    Eventually, I found such a guy, and in a betrayal of my earlier response to my friend's question, I fell in love. We got married over the summer, and I doubt we will ever be apart. In fact, I love his voice, though most importantly we share a common value system.

    Yes, Spencer's disclosures makes me bristle, but that is only because I am now older, have seen so much more, and am wiser for the experience. While I hate this notion that sounding one way or another is sounding "gay," I also can't expect a 19 year old to no better.

    I sure am impressed, however, by all the postings I've read above, from people who have thought out this issue. I appreciate those who are infuriated by the notion of what is labeled as "gay," and I'm appreciative of those who wish to cut this kid a bit of slack.

    As a community, if we can find some common ground and learn to appreciate one another for those things that really make a person (not their mannerisms or voice, not their youthful ignorance or cynicism gained over years of disappointment), we will be able to move forward against those who despise us for simply being.

    Posted by: Mike | Feb 13, 2009 12:42:46 PM


  15. Well, he's a cute idiot. But just not cute enough...

    Posted by: bozemanmontana | Feb 13, 2009 12:43:55 PM


  16. Derek, you should walk on to any college campus in America. The number of times you will hear the word "like" is unbelievable. I'm working on an international business degree, and every day I have to resist the urge to smack someone for saying "like" 30 times in one short conversation. I think I have developed a twitch from listening to this one kid in my multi-national marketing class say "like... you know, like" ad nauseam.

    I'm only in my late twenties, but it baffles me the way younger kids overuse "like". It’s an epidemic.

    Posted by: RP | Feb 13, 2009 12:43:59 PM


  17. oh, and it comes as little surprise that his last name is duhm.

    Posted by: sean | Feb 13, 2009 12:46:39 PM


  18. IMHO Charlie is much hotter and more of a man than this schmuck. I know plenty of gay men who like their guys to be intelligent, gentle and kind, not self-hating, "straight-acting" neanderthals.

    As my grandfather told me when I came out to him: "well, if everybody liked the same thing, they'd all be after your grandmother."

    Posted by: DC Guy | Feb 13, 2009 12:56:05 PM


  19. It always saddens and angers me when we are afraid to be ourselves or are uncomfortable around other gays and lesbians. What the hell have we been fighting for all this time? Another version of the same old closet? Ick!

    Posted by: VinceB. | Feb 13, 2009 1:01:02 PM


  20. Whatever happened to someone being entitled to his own opinion? Are we saying that since he's openly gay on a reality show he has the responsibility to only speak positively of the WHOLE gay community? He has his own preferences and likes and dislikes, he expressed them. He is on Survivor representing himself not the "cause"! Let it be and get over it.

    Posted by: John | Feb 13, 2009 1:16:48 PM


  21. Good lord, most of you guys are doing just what you're hating on Spencer for, and pretending, for the indignant moment, that you have never in your life said something that equated to the same thing. None of us was born with the wisdom that we possess today, life is a huge learning process, and 19 is pretty damn early in the process. I'll be rooting for his success in the game just as I've done for all of the gay contestants, and plenty of the good straight ones too.

    Posted by: Eric | Feb 13, 2009 1:28:21 PM


  22. ewww. comments like this make me cringe. i'm 33, and i wish i could say this was more of a "younger gays" thing, but really this has been going on for ages.

    the term "straight acting" is revolting. i'll flip my finger AND my wrist at any queer who thinks they've got one up on my faggoty ass just because they "talk straight"...whatever that means!

    Posted by: david | Feb 13, 2009 1:42:57 PM


  23. All you do Spencer, is come off like a total douchebag. You did not even need to address the issue, but since you did, and your utterances were so, like, lame, you know... you just look like, you know, fucking dumb! None of us are the same, and to blanket label those that are not 'football player straight' in their speech as being 'less than' (which you did by implication), shows just how much internalized homophobia you carry around. Nice going. What a champion for our cause... huh?

    Posted by: CK | Feb 13, 2009 1:44:02 PM


  24. Charlie is 100 times hotter than douchebag Spencer and would be a hell of a lot more fun to hang out with.

    Posted by: Chuck | Feb 13, 2009 1:45:09 PM


  25. newsflash, mary: YOU SOUND GAY - whatever that means, anyhow. and, just a thought, perhaps you hate yourself enough to want to be "straight" acting because your mom is an uncaring bitch? just saying.

    Posted by: mac | Feb 13, 2009 1:55:51 PM


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