Fred Phelps | News | Shirley Phelps-Roper

Westboro Baptist Church Planning Suicidal Exodus?


Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church recently left a blog post that has some wondering if the extremist group is planning a mass suicide (a la Jonestown). A little excerpt from the post (link goes to WBC blog) written in their typical hag-alect:

Wbc "We are particularly urgent about it, because the time is shortly to come when we will grant you your wicked wish, Doomed america!  Your smart-assed pundits and foul-mouthed politicians have for years told us to pack up and leave if we don’t like this filthy little cancerous boil on the butt of the earth.  You all think you’re so clever that you can come up with such cutesy little quips.  You’re collectively so Bible dumb that you don’t know what you’re saying.  So let me help you out.

"Look at the examples in scriptures when a nation – or world – of Godless rebels cry out at God’s patient Saints to get the hell out!  Noah got on the ark and God shut the door – then the entire population of the world was wiped out.  YAY!

"Lot tried to get his sons-in-law to listen and leave Sodom with him – but they liked their country and told him he was crazy.  He left.  They were toast!  YAY!

"Before God wholly wiped out the greatest army in history, he had to get his people to “come out with great substance”. (Genesis 15:14)  YAY!

We gotta go, peeps!  We gotta go!  And when we do, it’s time for this filthy nation to receive of all the plagues that your Creator has promised.  The reason there is such urgency in those words … such passion in the irresistible call from our Saviour, Husband, and Friend … is because when that time comes for this rebellious nation – which is spiritually called Babylon and has become literally Babylon by the inexplicable and forcible snatching of that Mesopotamian land where ancient Babylon sat – it is going to be very fast and very violent, such that all mankind is utterly and simply amazed.


"So when you see us drop in, tell you about why God has begun your march to destruction, and then get out – it’s because the time is short.  We have a job to do, and very little time to do it...When we’re done, we will leave your filthy land and be placed safely out of the reach of the horror that will then land upon you swiftly and certainly – in one hour."

(gossip boy via

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  1. Buh-bye.

    Posted by: M | Apr 24, 2009 12:36:37 PM

  2. Please do us all a favor. Drink the kool-aid!

    Posted by: SSD | Apr 24, 2009 12:41:06 PM

  3. Here's an idea for a sign:

    "Thank GOD for those fucktards leaving."

    What that even means, I don't care. Ok, I care slightly. Care about that poor sad baby girl who signs "God hates the world" on youtube, that they'll 'take' with them...

    Posted by: Clarke | Apr 24, 2009 12:43:48 PM

  4. Heh,

    I don't buy it. People who commit suicide usually just do it. They don't leave big gaping notes on their web sites claiming they will do so in "one hour" giving police, fire, and ambulance individuals time to interfere with their "grand glorious plan".... what a bunch of hooey.

    Mind you, that's if they are in their right minds... a topic that deserves a blog of its own.

    Posted by: Darren | Apr 24, 2009 12:45:39 PM

  5. Wow--maybe this won't turn out to be such a bad day after all. I may have to dig out my bright red suit and tap shoes to take to the cemetary.

    Posted by: troschne | Apr 24, 2009 12:46:01 PM

  6. If you are going JUST GO. We would be happy to throw a parade for your leaving. The sad truth is the only place that would be a perfect match for you is some terrorist cell in the bowels of Afghanistan. No one else would dare take those nut jobs.

    Posted by: Raven | Apr 24, 2009 12:48:26 PM

  7. Why am I not surprised and can only hope the Topeka Police, the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, and all other appropriate agencies are watching them 24 x 7.

    If this is a real threat, they'll probably try to "save" others by taking them along to their rapture. ".... it is going to be very fast and very violent, such that all mankind is utterly and simply amazed."

    Posted by: Mark (another one) | Apr 24, 2009 12:49:21 PM

  8. K! Bye!

    Posted by: Andalusian Dog | Apr 24, 2009 12:50:52 PM

  9. *sings, sorry.

    Posted by: Clarke | Apr 24, 2009 12:51:03 PM

  10. Can I stir the kool-aid for them? Pleeeeese! You know, there isn't a hell deep enough or hot enough to incinerate the disgust that is Fred Phelps and his followers. The fact they do their evil in Christ's name makes them all the more vile and deserving of their own demise. But then again, that's actually giving these roaches a little too much credit. They've substance-less, a gnat in the world where real truth and real justice and real Christians will rise up and take back the word for ALL people and for love. So all joking aside, I guess it's really a matter of 'don't go away mad, just go away.'

    Posted by: Bart | Apr 24, 2009 12:52:26 PM

  11. TFW!


    Posted by: Mike | Apr 24, 2009 12:53:09 PM

  12. I think this crosses the line from "Fringe Whacko" to deeply psychotic cult bordering on David Karesh (sp?) and the Branch Davidians if not American Taliban. At what point will the FBI or ATF pull up to their door with a front end loader and flak vests? If this is not reeking of Jihadist fundamentalistic terrorism within our borders, I don't know what is?

    Please, someone, put these nut jobs away, already!

    Posted by: Rad | Apr 24, 2009 12:54:18 PM

  13. Wait, "the irresistible call from our Saviour, Husband, and Friend"? Are the guys married to Jesus, too? Isn't that form of marriage a little... gay?

    Posted by: RH | Apr 24, 2009 12:54:49 PM

  14. Just tell me when the funeral is... I'll get started working on my sign.

    Posted by: crispy | Apr 24, 2009 1:00:08 PM

  15. We should be so lucky, but I believe they're referring to "The Rapture" where all the righteous people of the earth will instantly disappear and go to heaven...leaving all the sinners of he word to suffer the apocalypse. Of course they say this will happen soon, but "soon" in a biblical time frame an be thousands of years.

    I don't think these people fit into the catagories of cults who kill themselves.

    Posted by: Patrick | Apr 24, 2009 1:04:37 PM

  16. Another frantic 'look at me' jesture... or they must have found another stash of Kansas ditch weed.

    Posted by: kansastock | Apr 24, 2009 1:04:37 PM

  17. Nah,they're not planning suicide. They're just throwing themselves a pity party and making some idle threats to get attention.

    Posted by: Lance | Apr 24, 2009 1:05:29 PM

  18. To quote them, YAY!!!!

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Apr 24, 2009 1:08:05 PM

  19. One can only hope.

    Posted by: MT | Apr 24, 2009 1:08:16 PM

  20. Personally, to me it sounds like they are going to bomb something and then hope to make their escape to some one of those African countries that hate gays. This actually worries me a bit.

    Posted by: Joel | Apr 24, 2009 1:10:55 PM

  21. I think we should have a tea pary of our own and send them thousands of packs of Kool-Aid in Rainbow colors!

    Silly Sodomites, that Kool-aid is for Christians.

    Posted by: Merlinmaster | Apr 24, 2009 1:11:15 PM

  22. Hey, I'll buy the Flavor Aid if they will promise to go through with it.

    Posted by: stephen k | Apr 24, 2009 1:14:16 PM

  23. people who are intent on spreading hate killing themselves? oh...darn?

    Posted by: liz templin | Apr 24, 2009 1:15:35 PM

  24. I agree with Joel, I hope somebody is keeping an eye on these freaks. Sounds like they are gonna try to "hasten" the "rapture", and make a quick get away.

    Posted by: rich | Apr 24, 2009 1:16:02 PM

  25. Long as they leave the kids alone, then hey, don't let the cosmic screen door hit ya on the way out.

    Posted by: Glenn | Apr 24, 2009 1:16:44 PM

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