"Faulkner, 23, was preparing to come out to deeply religious family in Arkansas when his mother discovered his emails to his boyfriend, Travis who lives in Wisconsin. Bryce was given an ultimatum of being kicked out of his family and put out on the street or going into ex-gay therapy. Before Bryce disappeared his boyfriend Travis recieved one last phone call on June 15th and was crying uncontrollably saying, ‘You should have heard the mean and hateful things they said about me. They made me read out loud passages from the Bible’.
'One of the last things he said to me before falling asleep was, ‘Promise me you will be strong for me and for us’.' Travis said.
Travis believes Bryce may be at an Exodus International ministry in Florida. He said a friend of the family had heard Faulkner would be in Mississippi for three weeks and then in Florida for 14 months.
His friends have created a ‘Save Bryce’ web campaign to find out where the student is."
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He was barely a young adult. Living at home, in Arkansas, in depressed economic and emotional circumstances, with a devout family he's afraid to come out to. If you haven't lived it, don't pretend you understand it. Blaming the victim sucks. I'm glad he didn't kill himself, and I'm grieved to her he's currently under family torture.
Posted by: adamblast | Jul 20, 2009 4:00:02 PM
Why do people think anyone who finds this story suspicious is a fem queen or acting like a girl?
I'm neither. I just don't assume everything I hear or see online is true, especially when all the information doesn't seem to be available.
And for anyone using our "bitchiness" to doubt whether gays deserve equality, I suggest you stop wallowing in self loathing.
Posted by: Anthony in Nashville | Jul 20, 2009 4:00:51 PM
Call the FBI
end of story
stop crying rivers
Idiot friends if real should call the FBI and not put up websites.
money scam will follow begging for donations and gullable saps will donate and some twink will laugh all the way to the clubs with your cash
FBI territory if real, not freaking website sappy material
FBI
end of story
Posted by: jimmyboyo | Jul 20, 2009 4:08:20 PM
If this was about a 16-year-old, it would be a completely different story. Suggesting that something is wrong with this picture is entirely appropriate.
Now that it has caught our imagination and interest, let's hope the gay press follows through & reveals the true story.
Some of you seem to have a vested interest in pretending that extreme social and family coersion can be shaken off lightly. Perhaps it was for you.
But I see milder versions of this story, among people of *all* ages, in Mormon, Catholic and other "devout" homes all across this country. His people are emotional bullies. And they may have won. He may spend the next decade trying to be an ex-gay. Or he may be looking for a way out.
Whether he originally fought (or is currently fighting) this emotional abuse hard enough to satisfy *us* is beside the point. It's not his fault.
Posted by: adamblast | Jul 20, 2009 4:21:20 PM
I'm a bit perturbed that Andy hasn't come here amidst all of these nasty comments (or concern trolling), which I do NOT believe should be deleted, and set the tone for this "discussion".
Have some empathy, folks. This is a 23 year-old kid. From the looks of the video, Bryce had a diverse and happy life that was bolstered by supportive family and friends. And when everything you've worked for is threatened by the people you love most, the last thing most people can do is get creative and see a way out amidst all that pain.
The only thing that seems fishy is all of you naysayers. The Bryces of this world need us. Can you handle it, or are you just too lazy to take a stand and are taking the easy road of intrigue and derision? How about popping an e-mail over to the Trevor Project and ExGayWatch and local orgs in Arkansas and letting them know that there's people watching this story with interest? Can you take a second and do that?
A bit of compassion and benefit of the doubt costs you NOTHING, people, and you'll have a wide-open forum to crucify everyone involved if this does prove to be a hoax or a gross violation of privacy. But the kind of shit you're posting – and the cost of not standing up for anything – is far more than being "had" or "letting people do what they want". Stop the "I'm more clever than this" act and start an "I care about this" act.
If we don't take the bold risks associated with standing up for each other, then we will continue to lose again and again and again.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 4:27:33 PM
jeffrey
Nowhere is no one is saying to not be compassionate.
In no way pointing out the obvious BS of this fraud a claim that one doesn't sympathize with our brothers who do suffer
23 kidnapped across state lines if real= FBI
wake up
Posted by: jimmyboyo | Jul 20, 2009 4:33:03 PM
Don't marginalize me, sir, to support your own nasty, counter-productive behavior and the nasty, counter-productive behavior of others.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 4:47:00 PM
Look - there's nothing wrong with pointing out that there are alot of unexplained circumstances in this case. If its true - its truly unfortunate. But as others have posted - this is in the end an adult under the laws of Arkansas and of the United States who is free to make choices (whether he knew it or not), and is still free to make choices (whether he knows it or not).
This isn't a child who is subject to his parent's wishes. And I understand the emotional complexity of family relationships.
But it seems to me this man was presented with a false choice of homelessness or no family - and the people in a position to help allay his fears - may (or may not) have done everything they could have when they did. Thats not blaming the victim. Thats merely pointing out yet another area where the facts are shady.
What also remains oddly unexplained to me is how many people appear to be in a position to take the appropriate legal action or pursue other institutional means of redress (FBI, local authorities, etc.) but from what we've been presented with, appear to not have done so.
Maybe they have - but without knowing that - it leaves more unanswered questions than answered ones.
Posted by: AERES | Jul 20, 2009 4:56:14 PM
On the Facebook group, people close to Bryce have stated that they are in conversation with an attorney and are looking for case law to support civil action.
I still believe you all are being a bit cowardly in your attempts to be Mike Wallace and trying to find reasons not to be upset about this. The decent thing to do is to call for a professional to investigate. The shitty thing to do is to say the things that have been said here and think it's as harmless as a gossip session at a coffee klatsch.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 5:05:39 PM
I, too, think this is all a bit fishy: http://www.pimpmywry.com/2009/07/is-bryce-faulkner-really-missing.html
"If it is all a scam, the most important component — a motive — is, as of this writing, missing. "
But you went ahead and wrote the blog post anyway, Kim, and "pimped" it here. Highly responsible. Sounds more like attention whoredom to me than it does concern for Bryce or anyone else, for that matter. But it sure will feel great when you can say you were the first to figure this one out, right?
The group is offering Bryce a way out and have said in the Facebook group that they will happily back off if Bryce tells his boyfriend Travis to do so in private, which flies in the face of everything you and others here have written.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 5:27:08 PM
@ Jeffrey - I don't think having a healthy dose of skepticism about something you read on the internet, that's sourced from somewhere else on the internet, and that has as many unexplained circumstances as this case is cowardly at all.
Seems fairly prudent to me. But if you want to take to the barricades on behalf of this guy, by all means exercise your right to do so.
But don't go calling people who prefer facts to emotion cowards, self-loathing, un-informed, pampered by too many choises, or whatever else has been tossed out by you and similar posters...
Posted by: AERES | Jul 20, 2009 5:54:55 PM
THIS STORY IS ABOUT RELIGION. Bryce was probably "programmed" by his Christian family at a very young age - before he could think. So, it is difficult for him to break with his family AND the religious bs burned into his mind.
Religion is the only thing that makes gay WRONG and until we stop letting religion define us we will not have equality. ALL religions continue to make homosexuality wrong - don't be fooled by some churches that "welcome gays and lesbians" - they haven't changed their beliefs - you're still going to Hell. You know, that imaginary place with the big red guy with the forked tail and ahhhh fire everywhere.
The problem here is that Bryce didn't choose religion - it infected him.
Gay people need to stop the "wrong" of being gay by fighting religion. Enough is enough.
Religion hurts - make it stop.
Posted by: Brian | Jul 20, 2009 6:05:15 PM
Funny you should say that, Aeres, considering I just laid out some quotes from the Facebook Group that Kim Ficera missed.
Nothing wrong with skepticism at all, but there's absolutely no demonstrated need to jump the gun here.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 6:09:51 PM
Aeres : Though no atheist government was ever gay-friendly either, Aeres. One would get sent to Siberia for crimes-against-society. Castro just debated killing us all off. Etc.
Posted by: JT | Jul 20, 2009 6:21:32 PM
I'm usually as jaded as anyone, but the conspiracy theorists apparently didn't watch the video. It states very clearly that he "agreed" to go to the de-gaying camp. So there was no kidnapping and no force. His family did take away his things, but maybe they had paid for them all in the first place. His boyfriend lives quite far away---who knows if he has any money, or if they've even met? Maybe they'd only met online.
I too don't understand why a 23 year old would agree to this and not find some alternative, but I don't understand why a lot of people do the things they do. Based on some of the pictures in the video, either his family must have suspected he was gay or he lived a very secret life.
Posted by: Paul R | Jul 20, 2009 6:22:56 PM
It also seems like his family must be fairly wealthy and influential. Most of those ex-gay places are very pricey, and 14 months seems like quite a stretch. I know way too many people who won't come out to their parents purely for fear of being cut off financially (and these are people in their late 30s, which is pretty sad---but their parents are filthy rich, and these guys prefer money to honesty).
Posted by: Paul R | Jul 20, 2009 6:25:47 PM
Clearly there's more to this story. What I don't understand is this: why didn't his friends get him and have him stay with them until he got on his feet? Perhaps he was financially dependent on his parents (at least partly, if not fully), but if his friends knew about this, how could they have not picked him up and taken him home with them? I can't imagine knowing that a friend was in a similar situation and not having him or her stay with me as long as they needed to.
Posted by: Rhea | Jul 20, 2009 6:30:57 PM
I don't know, guys. Stranger things than this happen daily to people from more conservative backgrounds. Its possible the guy in question was relying on his parents for school...but regardless the possibility this is true is enough reason for it to be taken seriously as an issue. Beyond that I'm beginning to see a very self interested trend around this place. "This is why I don't date femmy guys" Seriously, what does that have to do with anything? I don't get all the pointless name calling, especially about something like this. Let's get some perspective here, please.
Posted by: g_whiz | Jul 20, 2009 6:35:14 PM
I like reading this site each day, but I am frequently disappointed with the comments I read on some stories. We have enough enemies of the gay community and don't need any within.
Posted by: sharksfansd | Jul 20, 2009 6:46:25 PM
I think if a 23-year-old man decides to go to an ex-gay group, there's nothing we can do. It was his choice. If his "friends" think he was taken forceably, then put it in the hands of the legal authorities. Sounds to me like it was Mr. Faulkner's choice, otherwise he could have moved in with one of those many friends. (I'm speaking as one who knows what it's like to be impoverished and living on ones own in NYC from ages 21-25. And it's rough. But if you don't like your family you sometimes have to make a choice. I think Mr. Faulkner had more options than I did).
Posted by: JoeTynan | Jul 20, 2009 7:02:47 PM
I'm sure Mr. Faulkner was loathe to leave medical school and give up his entire family, who seem otherwise supportive and loving, to go shack up with friends and hope the situation is resolved in a way that doesn't screw up the high potential he has for the rest of his life.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 7:59:53 PM
What happend to Zach Stark:
As of 2008, Zach Stark has accepted his homosexuality and appears in the documentary "This Is What Love in Action Looks Like".
Posted by: Womyn2me | Jul 20, 2009 8:12:01 PM
@Jeffrey Taylor---I can see your point, but how is that going to work? So let's say he finishes his 14 months of "treatment" and is emotionally stable and capable of pretending he truly is "cured." So then his family agrees to pay for his schooling again and the school agrees to let him back in (maybe). That puts him two years behind, and he'll have to continue pretending he's straight for another seven or so years if he hopes to receive his parents' support. No matter what, he'll remain dependent on them and forced to live a lie.
Doesn't sound like such a great plan. If he's determined to be a doctor, he can try to take out loans. But I'd say he should simply pursue a different career. Also, he said he wanted to move closer to his boyfriend; does that mean he was planning to transfer schools?
I just don't see how spending 14 months in one of those hellholes is ever a viable option. If he is indeed making these choices of his own free will, I think they're bad ones. I'm not trying to be critical of him; I just don't understand how anyone could agree to put themselves through that. (And I say that as someone who started working when he was 12 and skipped two grades for fear that my parents would kick me out when they found out I was gay. They didn't, but I'm still glad I made sure I was self-sufficient.)
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
He was barely a young adult. Living at home, in Arkansas, in depressed economic and emotional circumstances, with a devout family he's afraid to come out to. If you haven't lived it, don't pretend you understand it. Blaming the victim sucks. I'm glad he didn't kill himself, and I'm grieved to her he's currently under family torture.
Posted by: adamblast | Jul 20, 2009 4:00:02 PM
Why do people think anyone who finds this story suspicious is a fem queen or acting like a girl?
I'm neither. I just don't assume everything I hear or see online is true, especially when all the information doesn't seem to be available.
And for anyone using our "bitchiness" to doubt whether gays deserve equality, I suggest you stop wallowing in self loathing.
Posted by: Anthony in Nashville | Jul 20, 2009 4:00:51 PM
Call the FBI
end of story
stop crying rivers
Idiot friends if real should call the FBI and not put up websites.
money scam will follow begging for donations and gullable saps will donate and some twink will laugh all the way to the clubs with your cash
FBI territory if real, not freaking website sappy material
FBI
end of story
Posted by: jimmyboyo | Jul 20, 2009 4:08:20 PM
If this was about a 16-year-old, it would be a completely different story. Suggesting that something is wrong with this picture is entirely appropriate.
Now that it has caught our imagination and interest, let's hope the gay press follows through & reveals the true story.
Posted by: JONNY NYNY2FLFL | Jul 20, 2009 4:10:52 PM
Some of you seem to have a vested interest in pretending that extreme social and family coersion can be shaken off lightly. Perhaps it was for you.
But I see milder versions of this story, among people of *all* ages, in Mormon, Catholic and other "devout" homes all across this country. His people are emotional bullies. And they may have won. He may spend the next decade trying to be an ex-gay. Or he may be looking for a way out.
Whether he originally fought (or is currently fighting) this emotional abuse hard enough to satisfy *us* is beside the point. It's not his fault.
Posted by: adamblast | Jul 20, 2009 4:21:20 PM
I'm a bit perturbed that Andy hasn't come here amidst all of these nasty comments (or concern trolling), which I do NOT believe should be deleted, and set the tone for this "discussion".
Have some empathy, folks. This is a 23 year-old kid. From the looks of the video, Bryce had a diverse and happy life that was bolstered by supportive family and friends. And when everything you've worked for is threatened by the people you love most, the last thing most people can do is get creative and see a way out amidst all that pain.
The only thing that seems fishy is all of you naysayers. The Bryces of this world need us. Can you handle it, or are you just too lazy to take a stand and are taking the easy road of intrigue and derision? How about popping an e-mail over to the Trevor Project and ExGayWatch and local orgs in Arkansas and letting them know that there's people watching this story with interest? Can you take a second and do that?
A bit of compassion and benefit of the doubt costs you NOTHING, people, and you'll have a wide-open forum to crucify everyone involved if this does prove to be a hoax or a gross violation of privacy. But the kind of shit you're posting – and the cost of not standing up for anything – is far more than being "had" or "letting people do what they want". Stop the "I'm more clever than this" act and start an "I care about this" act.
If we don't take the bold risks associated with standing up for each other, then we will continue to lose again and again and again.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 4:27:33 PM
jeffrey
Nowhere is no one is saying to not be compassionate.
In no way pointing out the obvious BS of this fraud a claim that one doesn't sympathize with our brothers who do suffer
23 kidnapped across state lines if real= FBI
wake up
Posted by: jimmyboyo | Jul 20, 2009 4:33:03 PM
Don't marginalize me, sir, to support your own nasty, counter-productive behavior and the nasty, counter-productive behavior of others.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 4:47:00 PM
Look - there's nothing wrong with pointing out that there are alot of unexplained circumstances in this case. If its true - its truly unfortunate. But as others have posted - this is in the end an adult under the laws of Arkansas and of the United States who is free to make choices (whether he knew it or not), and is still free to make choices (whether he knows it or not).
This isn't a child who is subject to his parent's wishes. And I understand the emotional complexity of family relationships.
But it seems to me this man was presented with a false choice of homelessness or no family - and the people in a position to help allay his fears - may (or may not) have done everything they could have when they did. Thats not blaming the victim. Thats merely pointing out yet another area where the facts are shady.
What also remains oddly unexplained to me is how many people appear to be in a position to take the appropriate legal action or pursue other institutional means of redress (FBI, local authorities, etc.) but from what we've been presented with, appear to not have done so.
Maybe they have - but without knowing that - it leaves more unanswered questions than answered ones.
Posted by: AERES | Jul 20, 2009 4:56:14 PM
On the Facebook group, people close to Bryce have stated that they are in conversation with an attorney and are looking for case law to support civil action.
I still believe you all are being a bit cowardly in your attempts to be Mike Wallace and trying to find reasons not to be upset about this. The decent thing to do is to call for a professional to investigate. The shitty thing to do is to say the things that have been said here and think it's as harmless as a gossip session at a coffee klatsch.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 5:05:39 PM
I, too, think this is all a bit fishy: http://www.pimpmywry.com/2009/07/is-bryce-faulkner-really-missing.html
Posted by: Kim | Jul 20, 2009 5:18:32 PM
From your own post, Kim:
"If it is all a scam, the most important component — a motive — is, as of this writing, missing. "
But you went ahead and wrote the blog post anyway, Kim, and "pimped" it here. Highly responsible. Sounds more like attention whoredom to me than it does concern for Bryce or anyone else, for that matter. But it sure will feel great when you can say you were the first to figure this one out, right?
The group is offering Bryce a way out and have said in the Facebook group that they will happily back off if Bryce tells his boyfriend Travis to do so in private, which flies in the face of everything you and others here have written.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 5:27:08 PM
@ Jeffrey - I don't think having a healthy dose of skepticism about something you read on the internet, that's sourced from somewhere else on the internet, and that has as many unexplained circumstances as this case is cowardly at all.
Seems fairly prudent to me. But if you want to take to the barricades on behalf of this guy, by all means exercise your right to do so.
But don't go calling people who prefer facts to emotion cowards, self-loathing, un-informed, pampered by too many choises, or whatever else has been tossed out by you and similar posters...
Posted by: AERES | Jul 20, 2009 5:54:55 PM
THIS STORY IS ABOUT RELIGION. Bryce was probably "programmed" by his Christian family at a very young age - before he could think. So, it is difficult for him to break with his family AND the religious bs burned into his mind.
Religion is the only thing that makes gay WRONG and until we stop letting religion define us we will not have equality. ALL religions continue to make homosexuality wrong - don't be fooled by some churches that "welcome gays and lesbians" - they haven't changed their beliefs - you're still going to Hell. You know, that imaginary place with the big red guy with the forked tail and ahhhh fire everywhere.
The problem here is that Bryce didn't choose religion - it infected him.
Gay people need to stop the "wrong" of being gay by fighting religion. Enough is enough.
Religion hurts - make it stop.
Posted by: Brian | Jul 20, 2009 6:05:15 PM
Funny you should say that, Aeres, considering I just laid out some quotes from the Facebook Group that Kim Ficera missed.
Nothing wrong with skepticism at all, but there's absolutely no demonstrated need to jump the gun here.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 6:09:51 PM
Aeres : Though no atheist government was ever gay-friendly either, Aeres. One would get sent to Siberia for crimes-against-society. Castro just debated killing us all off. Etc.
Posted by: JT | Jul 20, 2009 6:21:32 PM
I'm usually as jaded as anyone, but the conspiracy theorists apparently didn't watch the video. It states very clearly that he "agreed" to go to the de-gaying camp. So there was no kidnapping and no force. His family did take away his things, but maybe they had paid for them all in the first place. His boyfriend lives quite far away---who knows if he has any money, or if they've even met? Maybe they'd only met online.
I too don't understand why a 23 year old would agree to this and not find some alternative, but I don't understand why a lot of people do the things they do. Based on some of the pictures in the video, either his family must have suspected he was gay or he lived a very secret life.
Posted by: Paul R | Jul 20, 2009 6:22:56 PM
It also seems like his family must be fairly wealthy and influential. Most of those ex-gay places are very pricey, and 14 months seems like quite a stretch. I know way too many people who won't come out to their parents purely for fear of being cut off financially (and these are people in their late 30s, which is pretty sad---but their parents are filthy rich, and these guys prefer money to honesty).
Posted by: Paul R | Jul 20, 2009 6:25:47 PM
Clearly there's more to this story. What I don't understand is this: why didn't his friends get him and have him stay with them until he got on his feet? Perhaps he was financially dependent on his parents (at least partly, if not fully), but if his friends knew about this, how could they have not picked him up and taken him home with them? I can't imagine knowing that a friend was in a similar situation and not having him or her stay with me as long as they needed to.
Posted by: Rhea | Jul 20, 2009 6:30:57 PM
I don't know, guys. Stranger things than this happen daily to people from more conservative backgrounds. Its possible the guy in question was relying on his parents for school...but regardless the possibility this is true is enough reason for it to be taken seriously as an issue. Beyond that I'm beginning to see a very self interested trend around this place. "This is why I don't date femmy guys" Seriously, what does that have to do with anything? I don't get all the pointless name calling, especially about something like this. Let's get some perspective here, please.
Posted by: g_whiz | Jul 20, 2009 6:35:14 PM
I like reading this site each day, but I am frequently disappointed with the comments I read on some stories. We have enough enemies of the gay community and don't need any within.
Posted by: sharksfansd | Jul 20, 2009 6:46:25 PM
I think if a 23-year-old man decides to go to an ex-gay group, there's nothing we can do. It was his choice. If his "friends" think he was taken forceably, then put it in the hands of the legal authorities. Sounds to me like it was Mr. Faulkner's choice, otherwise he could have moved in with one of those many friends. (I'm speaking as one who knows what it's like to be impoverished and living on ones own in NYC from ages 21-25. And it's rough. But if you don't like your family you sometimes have to make a choice. I think Mr. Faulkner had more options than I did).
Posted by: JoeTynan | Jul 20, 2009 7:02:47 PM
I'm sure Mr. Faulkner was loathe to leave medical school and give up his entire family, who seem otherwise supportive and loving, to go shack up with friends and hope the situation is resolved in a way that doesn't screw up the high potential he has for the rest of his life.
Posted by: Jeffrey Taylor | Jul 20, 2009 7:59:53 PM
What happend to Zach Stark:
As of 2008, Zach Stark has accepted his homosexuality and appears in the documentary "This Is What Love in Action Looks Like".
Posted by: Womyn2me | Jul 20, 2009 8:12:01 PM
@Jeffrey Taylor---I can see your point, but how is that going to work? So let's say he finishes his 14 months of "treatment" and is emotionally stable and capable of pretending he truly is "cured." So then his family agrees to pay for his schooling again and the school agrees to let him back in (maybe). That puts him two years behind, and he'll have to continue pretending he's straight for another seven or so years if he hopes to receive his parents' support. No matter what, he'll remain dependent on them and forced to live a lie.
Doesn't sound like such a great plan. If he's determined to be a doctor, he can try to take out loans. But I'd say he should simply pursue a different career. Also, he said he wanted to move closer to his boyfriend; does that mean he was planning to transfer schools?
I just don't see how spending 14 months in one of those hellholes is ever a viable option. If he is indeed making these choices of his own free will, I think they're bad ones. I'm not trying to be critical of him; I just don't understand how anyone could agree to put themselves through that. (And I say that as someone who started working when he was 12 and skipped two grades for fear that my parents would kick me out when they found out I was gay. They didn't, but I'm still glad I made sure I was self-sufficient.)
Posted by: Paul R | Jul 20, 2009 8:31:06 PM