Comments

  1. Disgusted American says

    all I can tell is it was a half-hearted hug – not even a body touching body hug – more like a “reach over bear hug”? and whats so bad about that?

  2. Paul says

    Well damn, that do any good to restore faith in the Tastee establishment. I see a couple just hugging and cozying up to each other – definitely seen much worse in other places by both straight and gay couples.

    The other thing that is still bothering me is the ‘incident’ took place at 2AM – just what sort of families was this guy looking to “protect” at 2AM.

    This is just all sorts of wrong and saddens me since I really do like a few of the servers there.

  3. David in Houston says

    Although it’s hard to tell what’s going on, it looked to me like the ‘hug’ went on for 2 1/2 minutes: starts at 1:16, ends at 3:52. Plus the 20-second ‘head to the bosoms’.

    I find their behavior annoying, but hardly x-rated. If a straight couple did that, I’d be just as annoyed. I’d be thinking, “Get a room, morons… this is a diner.”

    They did intend to eat there, right? Or were they just there to put on a good show?

  4. Greg says

    The owners did ask them to stop and those ladies gave them plenty of attitude – as if being gay meant we should all appreciate their PDA. Dudes, I don’t want to see anyone doing this anywhere. I mean… take a break, ya know? Wait till you’re home? Am I a homophobe because I don’t want to watch to overweight ladies cuddling?

    I hope not.

  5. LD says

    Instead of a sit-in, they should have waited a few weeks, and sent in a few hetero couples to perform the same acts of affection. I guarantee there would have been little opposition, or notice.

  6. Q says

    Greg and David in Houston,

    The two of you sound like complete idiots. They were hugging. There is no law against that. And David, there is no way in hell that you will convince me that you would even blink twice if it was a straight couple hugging! And if so, then you must be quite lonely.
    Greg, are you a homophobe because you don’t want to watch to overweight ladies cuddling? No, just a dumbass.

  7. BMF says

    Would people be as dismissive if these were two cute little white boys? I doubt it. Unfortunately, it appears that race and class play a role in the evaluation. Very sad.

  8. Kurt says

    @ David in Houston:

    The concept you don’t seem to comprehend is that this was an incident of unequal treatment.

    Regardless of your personal comfort with the situation, no one can be kicked out of a public establishment for PDA. I’m certain that a straight couple hugging and talking for a few minutes wouldn’t have generated even the slightest extra attention of the wait staff.

    Laws against discrimination aren’t written based on the comfort level of each individual. They are written to guarantee equal treatment REGARDLESS of what one person might think of someone else.

  9. soulbrotha says

    First, thank you Paul for coming back and acknowledging the discrimination of a familiar establishment.

    Now, I want to hear from all the other commenters from the first post who were shocked (positively shocked I tell you!), to hear that two gay women could POSSIBLY be discriminated against in that diner or even in that TOWN, being that THEY have eaten there with THEIR boyfriends many times and never had a problem. And if that is the case, then what made these women different? Hmmm…

    Well, now what do you have to say MarkyT, Will, Scott, John(you racist bastard), Dave, Beall…

    As a matter of fact, even the “I want to be fair until I see the video” comments were still leaning in favor of some sort of scam being run by these women. Like someone said before, if these had been two white men, there would have been a very different attitude in the comments.

  10. Bayley says

    Are you guys (GAYS) really coming to the defense of the establishment?

    To all you saying you don’t care if it’s “gay or straight doing that” (p.s~ homophobes use that SAME wording to justify their bigoted actions. Just saying…) “I don’t want to see you have PDA”…my response to you? I don’t give a flying f8ck what you’re comfortable with. So long as me and my partner are clothed, not doing anything offensive (sexual related)….YOU better deal with my PDA…or else? what are you gonna do about it?
    This is AMERICA….2009….If I want to kiss/hug or be affectionate with my boyfriend, I’m sorry some of you only have one foot out of the closets door and are self loathing gays who use terms like “str8 acting”…I WILL BE AFFECTIONATE WITH MY BOYFRIEND. Kick me out of your restuarant and you’ve got yourself a handsome lawsuit.

    Gay people are sooo stupid. they get discriminated in front of their eyes and instead of seeing it, they SIDE with the discriminators. Self hating much?

  11. Chitown Kev says

    @Soulbrottha
    Ding, Ding.

    Oh, the outrage if this had been two white men.

    Mind you guys, I probably would have said the same if this was 2 white men. But everytime something like this comes up when it’s black people involved you want to investigate or see the damn tape. It never fails. Thing is, I don’t even realize that y’all know that you’re doing that.

    Personally, I don’t like to see excessive PDA in a public place myself. But if any other couples were doing this and they were told not to, it is discrimination pure and simple.

  12. woodroad34 says

    I wonder if two straight women sisters/mother&daughter/best friends/cousins, were having a deep and emotional conversation and one reassuringly hugged and placed their head on the other’s chest in a sublimating and understanding response, would they then be kicked out as well? I think people see what they want to see…if they see dirt, they’ve got dirt on the brain. Tastee needs to clean it’s filthy moral filters.

  13. BMF says

    @Ian: I don’t understand your comment. My post didn’t saying anything about racism. I pointed out that race and class affects how people incidents. The fact is that many people have an anti-black racial bias. That bias affects how people view situations. This different from racism which is a more formal belief in the superiority or inferiority of races. The owners of the establishment probably aren’t racists in any traditional sense. But, I do think that anti-black bias and bias about perceived class of the of the women probably played into the response. I think it also played into the initial response by several of the posters.

  14. Eric says

    Woodroad34,

    I agree with you.

    This is also because they were a certain type of women. They are black and one is butch.

    If these were two skinny cutesy white girls, either people would have assumed they were straight, but close, friends, or would have thought it was hot.

  15. Chitown Kev says

    BMF-

    Exactly.

    And…I may as well be honest, I shared that same suspicions although it probably has more to do with 1) my perceptions of beauty (as someone noted above) 2) some residual sexism on my part. And yes, I can still, at times, be the streotypical gay male sexist misogyunist pig. It’s something I’m working on and I’m much more conscious of it than I was 10 years ago.

  16. christopher says

    @ woodroad34 —right on. I completely agree. From the images on the tape these could have been two sisters, one consoling the other. Watch how no one around the women even looks at them, not the server at the next counter or the man sitting next to them. Just the bigot who rang them up, who goes and causes a stink. If this is a PDA that is actionable then we are all living in the Mormon Temple plaza in Salt Lake City.

  17. malo-ji says

    Imagine the ‘gay panic’ of four guys sitting in a booth, and one places his arm on the back of the booth to squeeze in one more guy.

    Or seating a squirming toddler, your own child, on your lap.

    Somebody call the cops!!!

  18. Acronym Jim says

    It doesn’t appear that anyone else in the restaurant was particularly bothered by the affectionate couple. The customer in the foreground kept blithely dishing into her order. Nobody else seemed perturbed until “Joe the Plumber’s” cousin, “Ralph the Tastees Manager” kicked the couple out.

    It did appear that the customers in the background left without paying for their meal during the confrontation, though. Do you think Tastees will let them back in?

  19. john says

    i stand totally corrected in what I said yesterday about this couple probably not telling the truth, now that the tape is out it appears that the restaurant IS homophobic. Sorry ladies, good luck in your fight. I still think that girl on the right needs to find a better fitting bra.

  20. jimmyboyo says

    Chitown Kev

    ding ding ding

    “………. I don’t (think you) even realize that y’all know that you’re doing that….”

    The benefiters of white privelage in america do not realize what they themselves do 1/2 the time

  21. says

    I was sitting in a pretty good restaurant the other night and there were two couples at the table opposite me. One of them started making out (very passionately) for over a minute, and no one blinked an eye. Of course, they were a straight couple.

    Even in LA, I wonder if the same loving behavior from a same sex couple would go so unnoticed?

  22. says

    I find it very sad and a little shocking that this restaurant would release this video as though it offered support for what is obviously a bigoted position. I am not a huge fan of public PDA, but I rarely go out to eat at a diner without seeing a straight couple engaged with each other with this level of intensity. It is obvious that this seemed “family unfriendly” to them only because this was two women.

    Of course, this couple is designed to bring out the bigotry of Towleroad readers. Female, black, overweight: neither of these people would survive the Towleroad Death Panel.

  23. Chitown Kev says

    @Landon Bryce.

    You’re right of course, I don’t think it’s all about race in this instance. Heck, it could have been a cute interracial couple or either two good looking black men (or women) and I don’t think you would have seen as much hesitation. I think it would probably be that way if it were 2 dumpy white men, esp. if they were overweight (such as Michael Jackson’s gay lover, for example).

  24. w.t.f. says

    This needs to go to the Smithsonian.

    This is what Straight Supremacy looks like.

    The waitress did not like them standing close together. (Seems like they are waiting for an order.)

    You can see her stand, notice, and walk to the backroom – obviously to report (sex police are everywhere).

    The manager comes out and watches.

    He walks away … comes back and they are having a nice moment waiting holding each other. Talking about something … seems like the one sitting down is sad.

    The big bull straight supremist comes out and it looks like he is signalling for them not to step away from each other.

    They do not.

    He kicks them out.

    Pure Straight Supremacy in action.

    F-ing bigots.

    BTW the no-same sex touching or dancing rule existed as LAW in NYC until the mid 1960s.

  25. White Dude says

    @ Landon

    The VAST majority of Gay White Men would not survive the TLR Death Panel — it is hardcore pretense rising from the stench of the Ptown / NYC / Fire Island triangle.

    Damaged narcissistic wealthy elitist gay men — most would be Republicans if they were gay and Daddy did not disown them.

  26. Derrick from Philly says

    “…most would be Republicans if they were gay and Daddy did not disown them.”

    Yeah, and most Republicans would be Nazis if their children did not disown them. Betcha’ Sarah Palin’s daughter (can’t think of the little teenage mama’s name) will vote OBAMA in 2012!

    Heil, White Dude.

  27. Acronym Jim says

    Well I find the plethora of use of PDAs annoying as well, but I didn’t see a hint of even a cell phone in the video.

    What? Oh, THAT kind of pda. Sheesh, it’s so hard to keep up with the kid’s lingo these days. Now, GETOFFAMYLAWN!

  28. markyt says

    I stand corrected (from my post yesterday). I jsut cant believe this, its heartbreaking. FIrst thing tomorrow, I go over to the Tastee to let them know how I will make sure everyone I know knows about this (gay and straight friends) — let’s see how their business works out w/ a good portion of the Silver Spring community boycotting them.

  29. Tom says

    Hmmm…I expected to be appalled at the diner management’s lack of sensitivity and homophobia, but I have to say, after watching the video, I would have been annoyed too. A 20 second hug? I don’t think so. These two were all over each other for several minutes. I hate it when couples, straight or gay, can’t keep their hands off each other in restaurants. Save the homophobia accusations for the real thing.

  30. Scott says

    God, you fucking queens are annoying. Did you watch the tape? I did a few times. The smaller of the two women very clearly is sitting down on the larger woman’s lap while they hug, and the moving and swaying is not her wiggling back and forth, she’s grinding into her.

    Is it x-rated? No. Is it inappropriate? Hell yes. Would they have been kicked out if they were a straight couple? Probably not. That doesn’t change the fact that they were acting inappropriately! It doesn’t make it okay!

    You’re not going to change this kind of double standard by holding fucking kiss-ins. And I don’t necessarily think not wanting to see two fat lesbians grind on each other is homophobic, just a little small minded and squeamish.

    Lets keep some fucking perspective here.

  31. says

    First I just wanted to point out that it will be irrelevant how the owner of the diner might act towards similar incidents in the future; proper C. Y. A. protocol means that future reaction will be at least as strong. What is of interest is how have similar situations been dealt with previously?

    That said; have any of you really paid attention to the clip? Or are you just seeing what you want to? I would expect to be kicked out if I acted in a similar manner to these two women.

    For the first twenty seconds of the clip, the smaller one is addressing someone behind the counter across from where the other one takes a seat, THEN SHE PULLS THE TOP OF HER DRESS BACK ON, which by the way remains unfastened throughout, and turns to her partner. At about one minute and ten seconds the “hug” begins and continues for almost three minutes. Granted, a hug, even a long embrace should hardly be considered as shocking behavior. But when the girl steps back the other one is busy helping her to rearrange, pull back down, the lower half of her dress. It is too bad the waitresses head was blocking the view for about thirty seconds of this “hug” but I do wonder, where was the seated one’s left hand all this time? I also wonder what they might have been saying and how loudly. Then the man, owner?, confronts them and the smaller one confronts him. Notice that the dress top is again falling down during the exchange and is almost entirely down to her waist as they leave.

    I also wonder what transpired prior to the clip. How did the smaller one come to have her dress top unfastened in the first place? Could this just be the more P. G. rated portion of the clip?

    If publicly undressing your partner and playing about under their clothing is a simple public display of affection then that is a new one on me. As I said, I would expect to be kicked out, or spoken to at the very least, if I behaved that way anywhere in public.

  32. Not surprised says

    This video is the big evidence that the diner said they had? Those young ladies did NOTHING wrong. Instead of doing a ‘sit-in’, maybe the LGBT community should stop giving them any business.

  33. Acronym Jim says

    Both women are wearing pants, not dresses, and “the smaller one” is wearing a sweater over the top of a tank top.

    Someone mistook the xtube clip they just watched with this surveillance video….or is highly susceptible to sexual pareidolia. Quick! Look over there, that blade of grass is fully erect! Mow it!

  34. Dickster says

    When sitting at the counter in any diner, the rule is ‘one customer per stool’, str8, gay or pansexual.

    This gay boy sho’ don’t find that behavior appropriate.

  35. EdA says

    Sorry. I eat at the Tastee Diner in Silver Spring a lot more than I should, generally late evening or later (munchies or I don’t feel like cooking, especially something that’s not good for me like chicken-fried steak), and I certainly have never seen anything that would resemble any habit of hostility towards anyone. The waitress to the right of the counter clearly acts as though she isn’t bent out of shape by anything.

    But, looking at the video, I can’t help feeling that the two ladies WERE overdoing it a chunk. I think I’d have felt the same if they were two lanky blondes with swimmers bods (although I’d have enjoyed watching it more).

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