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Ugly Betty Actor Michael Urie: Queer But Not Gay

Ugly Betty actor talks about his sexuality in a new interview with The Advocate as the play he is starring in, The Temperamentals, about early gay rights activist Harry Hay, prepares for its third engagement.

Urie "I’ve never been in. I’ve never said I was straight, and I’m not saying I’m gay now. I never lie, and I’ve never shied away from the topic. I’ve certainly chosen through my work to do things that promote the rights of LGBTQ people. I am not a hypocrite—certainly not now."

Urie says he identifies as "queer":

"I’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and if you just met the two of us together we’d be ‘gay.’ But that somehow means anything that happened before [we met] didn’t count—and I don’t feel that way. I know that some people feel that way. They were with women, but it always felt wrong. But it didn’t for me. It felt right at the time. It didn’t work out, but it also didn’t work out with other men—many times. That’s why ‘gay’ never seemed right....Certainly there was a point where I was like, I don’t know how long Ugly Betty is going to last and how well it’s going to do, and I might want some real anonymity if it ends quickly. I was also never one to seek out publicity or attention, and I basically didn’t want to be labeled. That kind of attention could turn ugly. I guess if I wasn’t in a relationship with a man and I tried to tell people I was queer, it would appear to be a lie or a cop-out—à la college 10 years ago, when people believed in that notion of ‘bi now, gay later.’ But things are different now. I’m much more comfortable, and I’m in a relationship now. I’m not as worried about a future for myself."

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    Posted by: Sargon Bighorn | Jan 14, 2010 4:18:09 PM

  2. Jesus, you total tool. You're bisexual. You can have sex with either. Shut this ass up.

    Posted by: Mike | Jan 14, 2010 4:19:02 PM

  3. I feel a little dumber for having read his quote.

    Posted by: Chicago | Jan 14, 2010 4:22:46 PM

  4. Snore. Bore.

    Posted by: RJ | Jan 14, 2010 4:23:59 PM

  5. Say it with me now: gay. It's not tough, Michael. Gay. G-A-Y.

    Posted by: Joel | Jan 14, 2010 4:24:09 PM

  6. I wouldn't be quite as rude as Mike :-) but yeah, it's a classic description of someone who is bisexual. I don't believe the lie that "all bisexuals are closet cases waiting to come out as totally gay", I wish people that like sex with both genders would say "I'm bisexual" instead of doing the tortured semantics thing that Mr. Urie does.

    Posted by: Henry Holland | Jan 14, 2010 4:24:15 PM

  7. Honey, you are gay. G - A - buttfucking Y. Gay!

    Really, it's not that big a' deal.

    Posted by: crispy | Jan 14, 2010 4:25:01 PM

  8. Look at me, I'm so introspective and mysterious. I'm not gay, I'm queer. I'm smarter than you too.

    Posted by: Joe | Jan 14, 2010 4:25:04 PM

  9. How about actor, but not talented?

    Posted by: TANK | Jan 14, 2010 4:25:24 PM

  10. Bisexual? What kind of girl would date him? Does he really think he is fooling anyone? He screams "Gaaaayyyyy" the second he speaks.

    Posted by: Cole | Jan 14, 2010 4:25:44 PM

  11. Er, not to be a typical "there are no bisexuals!" moron, but... "Oh, I thouuuught I liked women before but then it felt wrong and guys feel right!". Honey, you're gay.

    Posted by: Yuki | Jan 14, 2010 4:32:50 PM

  12. OK, so his statement is a little confusing, but I do get it to a degree. And for you guys that insist on labeling, that's where his point of view comes from. Any 'gay' man that has had a sexual relationship (or maybe just sex) with a woman and enjoyed it, is always somehow considered 'queer' by gay men who are repulsed by the notion of going anywhere near a vagina. It's sort of the same thing straight guys do when they react to the notion of putting a dick in their mouths. Know any straight guys who have had sex with a guy but are not at all 'gay'? Oh right, then we have bisexuals! Labeling is stupid whether it is done by a majority or by a minority. How many interviews has anyone heard by openly gay people who have said that they were being called gay before they even really know what it meant? Seriously. We know what it means, but if you feel as though you HAVE to identify with gay, why does everyone else have to follow your guidelines? The whole thing is just a bit silly.

    Posted by: JR | Jan 14, 2010 4:34:39 PM

  13. What a load of crap. Denial knows no limits.

    Posted by: emarell | Jan 14, 2010 4:35:43 PM

  14. I identify as 100% gay, yet I have had relationships with girls that were 100% real, sexual, and not awkward. Doesn't make me bi. I'm gay. I think what I was when I dated the girl was "young" and "horny," not "bi."

    Posted by: Rami | Jan 14, 2010 4:35:47 PM

  15. Did anyone see "Ugly Betty" last night? There was a scene where he calls Betty's boyfriend a quitter and Betty's boyfriend calls him a "pansy." No one tells Betty's boyfriend that is homophobic or bigoted. Some gay friendly show, huh?

    Posted by: Don't forget! | Jan 14, 2010 4:35:48 PM

  16. Wow, all you queens need to join the 21st century. It is perfectly OK for him to identify as 'queer' rather than 'bi' or 'gay.' Get over yourselves and your internalized homophobia. Yes, that's what it is. And, Joe, he probably is smarter than you.

    Posted by: Mr. E | Jan 14, 2010 4:37:14 PM

  17. Yeah, labeling is just so stupid...categorization is for the "WEAK" who like to "THINK". Without labeling and categorization, thinking is prohibited. YAY FOR YOU ANARCHISTS who promote...nothing.

    Posted by: TANK | Jan 14, 2010 4:38:38 PM

  18. Interesting that only U.S. male actors seem to have a problem identifying as gay. The rest of us are fine with it. If I was his bf I'd be so pissed off right now. We really need to start making the real heroes of our community into celebrities instead of performers and entertainers who worry more about their portfolios than anything else.

    Posted by: nick | Jan 14, 2010 4:41:23 PM

  19. I agree with JR. Labeling just helps us identify the issue, when sexuality is much more complicated than that. Just cause he doesn't see the reason to call himself gay or bisexual doesn't mean you have to judge him.

    And DONT FORGET!, I watched the episode and I noticed that to, but I actually don't think its very much uncalled for since Marc started it by calling him a quitter without being provoked. He deserved it, imo.

    Posted by: Robert | Jan 14, 2010 4:43:03 PM

  20. >Did anyone see "Ugly Betty" last night? There was a scene where he calls Betty's boyfriend a quitter and Betty's boyfriend calls him a "pansy." No one tells Betty's boyfriend that is homophobic or bigoted. Some gay friendly show, huh?<

    I think he called him "fancy" ...

    Posted by: LostBoy68 | Jan 14, 2010 4:43:35 PM

  21. p.s. I take my queue from straight guys. You don't hear some indecisive straight actor saying, "I let some guy blow me when I was 16, so I guess you'd have to call me queer because I don't really like using the word gay. Blech!

    Posted by: nick | Jan 14, 2010 4:43:50 PM

  22. Oh god, another one of those "I don't like labels, i'm an individualist, and even though the entirety of humanity categorizes, judges, and organizes things based on labels, I'm not going to buy into it" fags.

    Get over yourself. You aren't the great individualist. You're just another cocksucker with delusions of pretension.

    Posted by: Grimmlok | Jan 14, 2010 4:44:05 PM

  23. Sexuality is much more complicated than the issue (viz., sexuality)....?

    It's just so mysterious, isn't it? It's magic! Like jesus...lol

    Posted by: TANK | Jan 14, 2010 4:45:00 PM

  24. Whether he wants to call himself gay, bi or unsure is his business, just like it's mine to call him shallow, boring and self-absorbed.

    Posted by: Chal | Jan 14, 2010 4:48:17 PM

  25. ...Are there really that many of you who think bisexuality couldn't possibly exist because you happen to be 100% gay?

    Posted by: rafi | Jan 14, 2010 4:49:00 PM

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