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Elton John: Jesus Was a Super-Intelligent Gay Man

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Elton John gives an interview to Parade magazine that touches on love, drugs, celebrity, and Christianity.

Says Elton about Jesus: "I think Jesus was a compassionate, super-intelligent gay man who understood human problems. On the cross, he forgave the people who crucified him. Jesus wanted us to be loving and forgiving. I don't know what makes people so cruel. Try being a gay woman in the Middle East -- you're as good as dead."

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  1. Bravo! But in my view religion can go "fck" itself...useless corporation crap.

    Posted by: Bosie | Feb 18, 2010 12:30:23 PM


  2. Oh dear.

    Posted by: Tralfaz | Feb 18, 2010 12:39:24 PM


  3. ha?
    wait, what?
    no, he has it all wrong,
    jesus was a homeboy
    lol

    Posted by: josepe | Feb 18, 2010 12:44:03 PM


  4. Lots of people have speculated that Jesus might have been gay. Never getting married and hanging out with men. But who really cares? Does it matter either way? You'd think it shouldn't.

    Posted by: KFLO | Feb 18, 2010 12:49:42 PM


  5. I saw on South Park that Jesus is a Super Hero.

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Feb 18, 2010 12:51:13 PM


  6. and Elton John was a not so intelligent gay man.

    Posted by: qjersey | Feb 18, 2010 12:59:12 PM


  7. @Patrick NYC

    Well, Superman was a thinly veiled allusion to Jesus Christ.

    Thing is, people and societies and cultures see themselves in the god(s) that they serve and the prophets that they esteem.

    Posted by: Chitown Kev | Feb 18, 2010 1:18:06 PM


  8. Well i guess their will now be a "Kill Elton John" campaine now from the religous homophob cuntspalts

    Posted by: wogwog | Feb 18, 2010 1:24:10 PM


  9. Jesus is the repackaged Horus myth with a little Jainism and Mithra mixed in from the 100s, The closest thing to being a real person is Apollonius of Tyana who was born in about 2 AD and was the founder of Essene Chistrianity that mixed in Buddist teachings into the Old Testament and then went around Palestine teaching it.

    Posted by: stevetalbert | Feb 18, 2010 1:31:56 PM


  10. Oh, and also astology, since the sun of the heavens begins at the winter solistis, hangs dorment for about 3 days, and then ascends again into the heavens. The sun then crosses the equinox in Spring. The Catholic Church chose Dec as the birth of 'Jesus' and Easter as the 'Crucification/Crossing, Rebirth, and Accession of Jesus' to overlay European Pagan festivals to get people to join the Church. Eventually people forgot why they joined in the first place and by then you had to believe or be tortured or put to death... and so it goes.

    Posted by: stevetalbert | Feb 18, 2010 1:37:27 PM


  11. What does this have to do with the homosexuality?

    Posted by: TANK | Feb 18, 2010 1:53:30 PM


  12. @Stevetalbert

    And, of course, the famous Madonna/Child sculptures and paintings are a blatant ripoff of Isis/Horus (which was the primary competition to Chritianity in the Roman Empire outside of Palestine.)

    That was a fantastic piece of marketing.

    Oh, and there were a lot of faith healers around the Roman Empire at that time, so in terms of those miracles, Christ wasn't alone. In fact, Apollonius was another faith healer.

    Oh, you can throw a little Dionysus in that mix too. (Hence, that may be where the gay part comes in as Dionysus was androgynous

    @Tank- Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. Just pointing out that the mythical background behind who we've come to know as Jesus Christ was extremely rich and diverse.

    Posted by: Chitown Kev | Feb 18, 2010 2:08:21 PM


  13. It doesn't, but it has something to do with the post. Not all of the stuff on Towleroad has something to do with homosexuality. That is why people come here rather than, say The Advocate's website.

    Posted by: stevetalbert | Feb 18, 2010 2:09:40 PM


  14. "Maybe nothing. Maybe everything."

    Yah, Ima go with nothing. Sure whatevs, I don't even think jesus was an historical figure--didn't exist. Yeah, life of brian theory, or a composite of several different people and fictional characters. But even if he were an historical person, so?...fuckin' yawn.

    You know, if you've read "the teachings of jesus", it's hard to disagree with a lot of them. They're not really the teachings of jesus, though...as everything he had said is a composite of morality that preceded him. In fact, they're a very primitive version of actual philosophers who came before him; like Aristotle, for example. Christianity has introduced a very watered down, sickly version of virtue ethics. The so-called golden rule has been around for thousands of years, and has no religious origin, but a practical one!

    Posted by: TANK | Feb 18, 2010 2:40:41 PM


  15. ohh dear....this should get that asshole from the Catholic League, Bill Donohue's Granny pantys in a twist!

    Posted by: rextrek | Feb 18, 2010 2:53:09 PM


  16. @Tank

    Of course, this was all the Mediterranian basin; of course JC was going to be influenced by all of that, no mistaking. No doubt, much of it came from the Judaism of his time. Some of it also appears to me to be an offshoot of Stoicism and Cynicism.

    And as a system of ....whateva, it's really hard to beat Buddhism in amny respects (and Jesus Christ may have been influenced by some of that) since that was (and is) more or less a form of psychology.

    And, uh, let's not get started on Aristotle, please...Aristotle's enitre system of morality was entirely too empirical to appeal to the Jews of that time.

    Posted by: Chitown Kev | Feb 18, 2010 2:56:05 PM


  17. "And as a system of ....whateva, it's really hard to beat Buddhism in amny respects (and Jesus Christ may have been influenced by some of that) since that was (and is) more or less a form of psychology."

    As a religion? I dunno, it does make a lot of supernatural claims (even sans god). If you want to understand how to answer the Socratic question of what the good life amounts to...I don't think any religion is gonna be able to provide an answer to that one. Ethics is much more important than religion, and doesn't require it; but encompasses it. And provides better answers to what one should do; more practical and well reasoned...because rationality and logic matter in ethics--not so much for religion. I'm not talking about phil. of relg or theology, which do sometimes employ sophisticated reasoning...but in the defense of superstition, not in the defense of ethics...not ethical arguments, really. Thomas Aquinas, the obese catholic italian philosopher, synthesized aristotelean thought with christianity...was arguably the greatest christian thinker (augustine and others come to mind, too) and yet, one is left with that sallow, sickly version of virtue ethics that christianity offers up as a good way to live your life...by threat rather than reason.


    "And, uh, let's not get started on Aristotle, please...Aristotle's enitre system of morality was entirely too empirical to appeal to the Jews of that time."

    "Hear me, oh hear me! All pay heed! The lord jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...oy...Ten! Ten Commandments for all to obey!"

    I'd defend the superiority of Aristotelian virtue ethics against the teachings of any religion as a superior ethical theory and better way to live. And not all eastern thought is religion (e.g., taoism). I'm not a virtue ethicist, but given the fact that it relies on no unsubstantiated supernaturalist claims and elevates a life worth living above such baseless, frivolous concerns as make believe...it seems more capable of being relevant to human life.

    Posted by: TANK | Feb 18, 2010 3:16:46 PM


  18. Uh, Tank, I was not juxtaposing notions of Aristotelian virtue ethics with Christian ethics (or even ancient Jewish notions of virtue ethics, although THAT might be interesting). That's why I explicitly threw Stoicism and Cynicism in there (which were two schools of thought that were opposed to Aristotlean virtue ethics).

    (I am a big fan of the book of Job, though...not for all the double dealing between God and satan but how Job responds to it.)

    And, of course, I am very well acquainted with Thomas Aquinas, although he owes a great deal to Islamic philophers like Averroes for making sure that Aristotle's teachings got to Europe and into the universities.

    I was speaking of Mediterrainian philosophies that would have had an influence on very very very early Christianity.

    And even with Taoism (and if I were to become religious, that would be it) much of that comes out of Chinese folk religion. Some of it was made into a philosophy.

    Posted by: Chitown Kev | Feb 18, 2010 3:35:56 PM


  19. Stoicism is not opposed to Aristotelianism. Stoic ethics is a type of virtue ethics whose proponnents borrowed heavily from the works of Aristotle. So much so, in fact, that there wouldn't be a stoic ethic without arostotle.

    A great deal of taoism was made into a secular theory, btw.

    Posted by: TANK | Feb 18, 2010 3:48:23 PM


  20. @Tank

    Uh, actually, the Stoics are more properly the "saner" descendents of the Cynics (which is personally my favorite Greek philosophy).

    The Stoic connection with Aristotle comes moreso from Aristotle's biology than his ethics (though you are correct to say that they are not all that diametrically opposed to one another).

    Posted by: Chitown Kev | Feb 18, 2010 3:57:09 PM


  21. I didn't say that the stoics aren't descendants of the cynics, but that their moral theory is informed by the works of Aristotle. In fact, the few parts of disagreement--and aristotle wins--are just a reaction to it. You can't properly assess their theory of ethics without an understanding of Aristotle's.

    Posted by: TANK | Feb 18, 2010 4:04:04 PM


  22. @Tank

    "A great deal of taoism was made into a secular theory, btw."

    Uh, didn't I SAY that? Although Confucianism
    (which I can't stand) really is a purer form of an ethical philosophy.

    Anty-way, what were we talking about? Oh, the possible influences on Jesus (who has been interpreted by some philosophers and theologians as a "Jewish Cynic"...which sounds about right, actually.)

    Posted by: Chitown Kev | Feb 18, 2010 4:06:08 PM


  23. Really? A jewish cynic...I don't get that at all. Just because he was an outlier? I don't that cynic views might have influenced his teachings (if he even existed) or the descriptions of him in the gospels, but a jewish cynic? C'mon, he wasn't that interesting minus the miracles.

    Posted by: TANK | Feb 18, 2010 4:13:51 PM


  24. @Tank

    The street preaching? The ill respect in which he held authority figures? His rebuke of the wealthy in society? Throwing the moneychangers out of the temple? Opting for a life of poverty?

    Diogenes (my favorite philosopher, who embarassed the hell out of Plato) would have done all of those things. In fact he did all of those things

    Now of course, I can't imagine Christ masturbating in the market place or counterfeiting coins or anything like that.

    Posted by: Chitown Kev | Feb 18, 2010 4:38:35 PM


  25. "C'mon, he wasn't that interesting minus the miracles."


    More to the point, he wasn't that consistent with cynic principles in his behavior, which causes me to doubt that he was a cynic-- as he would have made a pretty bad one (esp. in light of his observance of ritual and religious justification). He was a jew, though. But it's not entirely sensible to distinguish judaism (at the time) from hellenistic thought, so there is a good case to be made that cynicism and stoicism--and thereby platonism and aristotelianism--influenced his teachings, which were practically all derivative. Equality amongst men, as some christian scholars like to insist, was an invention of christianity...which went on to perpetuate the class system in europe and the rest of the world to this very day... That's not true, either. You can find egalitarianism in cynicism.

    Posted by: TANK | Feb 18, 2010 4:40:19 PM


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