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Story from the Frontline of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell':
Former Naval Petty Officer Third Class Joseph Rocha

Joseph-rocha  

"Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama” is a new media campaign launched to underscore the urgent need for congressional action and presidential leadership at this critical point in the fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). 

Frontline_final02  As we approach the markup of the Defense Authorization bill in the Senate and House Armed Services Committees, SLDN and a coalition of voices supporting repeal, will share open letters to the President from a person impacted by this discriminatory law. We are urging the President to include repeal in the Administration’s defense budget recommendations, but also to voice his support as we work to muster the 15 critical votes needed on the Senate Armed Services Committee to include repeal. The Defense Authorization bill represents the best legislative vehicle to bring repeal to the president’s desk. It also was the same vehicle used to pass DADT in 1993. By working together, we can help build momentum to get the votes! We ask that you forward and post these personal stories.

Also - update: Obama deals "devastating blow" against DADT repeal advocates

*****

May 3, 2010 JosephRocha  

President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

After the recent letter by Secretary of Defense Robert Gates recommended the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” be delayed, this is my plea to you on the behalf of the soldiers serving in silence to end this law now:

I never wanted anything more in my life than to be a career officer. My entire childhood I was exposed to abuse, violence, and crime. I came out of it all with a simple, yet overwhelming desire to serve. When my first attempt at getting into the Naval Academy failed, I waited restlessly until I turned eighteen. I enlisted on my birthday and set off to prove myself to the Academy. I was eager to leave the cruelty of my past and join a true family.

I knew I was gay, but it was irrelevant to me then. I was determined to join an elite team of handlers working with dogs trained to detect explosives. As I studied hard to pass exams and complete training, I was convinced that the current law would protect me. I knew that based on merit and achievement I would excel in the military.

I never told anyone I was gay. But a year and a half later while serving in the Middle East, I was tormented by my chief and fellow sailors, physically and emotionally, as they had their suspicions. The irony of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is that it protects bigots and punishes gays who comply.

Shop talk in the unit revolved around sex, either the prostitute-filled parties of days past or the escapades my comrades looked forward to. They interpreted my silence and total lack of interest as an admission of homosexuality. My higher-ups seemed to think that gave them the right to bind me to chairs, ridicule me, hose me down and lock me in a feces-filled dog kennel.

Continued, AFTER THE JUMP...

On one day in the Middle East, I was ordered by a superior to get down on my hands and knees and simulate oral sex on a person working in the kennel. We were supposed to pretend that we were in our bedroom and that the dogs were catching us in the act. Over and over, with each of the dogs in our unit, I was forced to endure this scenario.

I told no one about what I was living through. I feared that reporting the abuse would lead to an investigation into my sexuality. Frankly, as we continue to delay the repeal of this horrible law, I can’t help but wonder how many people find themselves in similar, despicable situations and remain silent. My anger today doesn’t come from the abuse, but rather from the inhumanity of a standing law that allowed for it.

Three and a half years later when the Navy started investigating claims of hazing, I had finally earned my place at the Naval Academy Preparatory School. But instead of celebration, I began to question the life of persecution, degradation, and dishonor DADT had forced on me. I questioned the institution -- our great military -- that would condone and endorse this kind of treatment of its own members. The only thing I had ever done wrong was to want the same thing my straight counterparts wanted: a brotherhood and something to stand for.

At NAPS I realized that a career of service under DADT would be a forfeiture of my basic human rights. It would be a forfeiture of basic job security, peace of mind, and meaningful relationships, particularly with my fellow straight service members whom I was forced to deceive and betray.

After completing a six-week officer candidate boot camp, my commanders said they wanted to offer me a leadership role. But after what happened in the Middle East and even the suicide of my close friend, I was mentally and emotionally depleted. And so -- with my knees buckling -- I offered my statement of resignation in writing:

"I am a homosexual. I deeply regret that my personal feelings are not compatible with Naval regulations or policy. I am proud of my service and had hoped I would be able to serve the Navy and the country for my entire career. However, the principles of honor, courage and commitment mean I must be honest with myself, courageous in my beliefs, and committed in my action. I understand that this statement will be used to end my Naval career."

They say some people are just born designed for military service. It‘s the way we are wired, and the only thing that makes us happy. For too many of us, it‘s the only family we ever had. I am sure now, more than ever, after all the loss and hardship under DADT, that all I want to do is serve as a career military officer.

Mr. President, any delay in repeal is a clear signal to our troops that their gay brothers and sisters in arms are not equal to them. I plead that you take the lead -- fight for repeal -- and allow qualified men and women to serve their country.

Very respectfully,

Joseph Christopher Rocha
Former Petty Officer Third Class, U.S. Navy

PREVIOUS LETTERS FROM THE FRONTLINE...

April 27 - Captain Joan Darrah
April 28 - LCpl Danny Hernandez
April 29 - An Active-Duty Military Chaplain
April 30 - Captain Rebecca H. Elliott

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Comments

  1. This is so powerful and I am so sorry for what has happened to him and many others under this awful policy. Does anyone know are they attempting to actually send these letters to President Obama or are they just open in the public and Obama can read them if he should so choose? Either way I think he will ignore them but I hope they are getting more exposure than on gay sites.

    Posted by: Rann | May 3, 2010 8:53:57 AM


  2. @ RANN:

    I wanted to let you know that SLDN is sending each of the letters to the President via The White House website.

    Each of the letter writers -- excluding the active duty to protect their identity -- have emailed their story.

    Within minutes, they are alerted via email that their letter was received by The White House Office of Presidential Correspondence.

    I hope this information helps and thank you for forwarding or tweeting the letters. It is deeply apprecaited.

    Trevor Thomas

    Posted by: Trevor @ SLDN | May 3, 2010 9:27:21 AM


  3. Obama is an out-and-out fraud and should be called thus. He lied to us and that's that. We shouldn't hesitate to let him know that we think he's a fraud.

    He told a massive lie to win our votes at the last election. In the upcoming Congressionals, do not vote for any Democrat candidate.

    Posted by: adam | May 3, 2010 9:41:17 AM


  4. Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer are not innocent poodles in all this. They have basically aided and abetted Obama's fraud. If they're both up for re-election this November, make sure you stay home at the very minimum. Do not under any circumstances vote for these two traitors.

    Posted by: jason | May 3, 2010 9:45:18 AM


  5. Mr. Joseph Christopher Rocha,
    You are a hero!
    A first rate hero!

    Posted by: Fred | May 3, 2010 9:49:58 AM


  6. Of the stories I've read, this is the most powerful and clearly demonstrates how far the bigotry and abuse within the service extends under DADT.

    Posted by: Peter Mars | May 3, 2010 10:14:08 AM


  7. You rock my socks.

    Posted by: Garrett | May 3, 2010 10:35:11 AM


  8. This story, even more than most of the others in the series, is a vivid example of the fact that it's not just that the ban exists because of homophobia but that homophobia is perpetuated by the ban.

    While few civilians know that each new recruit going through basic training learns that the military has an official "Don't Harass" those perceived as gay policy, and that there are supposed to be annual reminders of that policy, particularly for NCOs and officers, it, of course, is accompanied by messaging that gays [the "out" is a meaningless distinction] are banned in the military because, in the words of DADT, we "create an unacceptable risk to the armed forces' high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."

    Flowing from such institutionalized homophobia is the fact that instances of harassment or other forbidden acts such as homophobic "jody calls" [the classic use of gay epithets in cadence in group runs, etc.] and other "derogatory language or references about homosexuals" are routinely ignored.

    This is not to say that, overall, the military is as gay-hostile as it was even 20 years ago as a growing number of stories of commanders and fellow troops either explicitly accepting their gay military peers or simply looking the other way demonstrate. But the degree that it remains hostile leading to degradations like Joe's is no less a direct consequence of the official policy of bigotry than actual discharges.

    Posted by: Michael @ LeonardMatlovich.com | May 3, 2010 10:58:45 AM


  9. Joseph, thank you for your service and also for sharing your story, as painful and difficult as it must have been to endure, I hope it will serve to wake up the morons and bigots that insist on furthering that travesty DADT. The fact that Gates had the gall to say it should NOT be repealed until later, shows he is an out of touch moron. It is terribly unjust that you were discharged merely for being who you are, and being honest.

    The President has it in his power to suspend the discharges pending Congress' repeal. It is beyond my understanding how he can STILL allow it to continue. I am a strong, but very disappointed supporter of his, and hope he sees the light REALLY soon!

    Posted by: CKNJ | May 3, 2010 11:25:04 AM


  10. can just see the radical right taking digs at this article, by which I mean the accompanying picture: dog lover, bestiality, etc.

    Posted by: Brian K | May 3, 2010 12:44:54 PM


  11. Thank you Joseph for your bravery and courage, for coming out. You are a true hero.
    Take care of yourself, I wish you a long and happy life.
    As someone who served in silence back in the 60's, I hope the President hears your voice. He will be hated by many bigots if and when he repeals DADT. I hope your courage moves him to act.
    Again thank you.
    Rob

    Posted by: Rob West | May 3, 2010 1:23:19 PM


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