Comments

  1. sparks says

    I think it’s significant that the person who stood up most boldly in defense of the gay couple was a Ukrainian immigrant who obviously has a deeper appreciation for the freedoms this country supposedly espouses. She was ready to fight on behalf of others for that freedom!

  2. DR says

    I agree with Dave, but his observations doesn’t surprise me at all. For most people, they just want to mind their own business.

    We see this far too often, whether in social experiments or real life. People won’t stop, won’t get involved, and won’t stand up. It’s a shame.

  3. Robert says

    I’m not out. I have social anxiety disorder. I hate confrontation. Yet I have still stood up for gays being harassed in public spaces. Those who don’t can come up with all the excuses in the world, but if they really WERE outraged? They’d do something instead of sitting there.

  4. Chris in Irvine says

    I watched this piece. There was also a (white) young guy who got very upset about the discrimination towards the gay parents. He got so upset that the camera crew and Quinones had to run upstairs to introduce themselves because the guy (later) said that he was so tempted of using a knife on the waiter for being such an a$$&@le.

    It was a powerful show and sad at the same time. Not many people would come up to stop the discrimination because (like they said), it was none of their business

  5. Rowan says

    @ Robert

    That is because you’re a decent and compassionate human being who has empathy.

    These people there are not and unfortunately that is a lot of people in this effed up society that we live in.

  6. SSCHIEFRSHA says

    Why can’t I ever get assholes like these to do shit like this to me? Vital body parts would have gone missing on someone before I leave and it ain’t gonna be mine.

  7. Brain says

    Oh…why, why, why, does this never happen to us. I am mixed race, male, gay, and in a bi-racial relationship. My husband and I, and our two kids, are always treated like royalty in restaurants.

    Maybe because the waiters smell “Bitches-don’t fuck with us” when we walk in!

  8. Brain says

    …the first mistake is to discuss your personal life with the waiter, the second mistake is to allow the waiter to begin a discussion regarding your personal life, and the THIRD mistake is not to “remind” the waiter that he is a “fucking waiter”…and to go fuck-off and get the food!

  9. Robert in SF says

    I found it interesting that the focus of the reactions was on the discrimination about serving them (which I think is legal for almost any business? to refuse to serve persons for any reason?) but not on the outright bigotry (harming the kids, not normal, etc.).

    If the waiter had expanded his comments to say divorced persons, or single parents, or otherwise weren’t good for the kids or normal, I wonder what the reactions would have been.

    For example, if the waiter had a gay table, and a single mom table and made comments similar in nature to both in front of the same crowd, but not refused service, which would have garnered the biggest reaction, if at all, from the bystanders?

  10. Brain says

    It is actually illegal to refuse to serve individuals [Civil Rights Act 1964] for any reason [for those protected classes listed in the legislation] [without just cause]; unfortunately, except for sexual orientation.

    So technically they could have refused to serve the couples, but that depends on that particular State [some States have expanded protections to sexual orientation].

    But the lesson here should be how to conduct yourself in any public arena: always have the upper hand by setting the pace and tone of the discussion.

    In this case, a waiter is a waiter, not Oprah Winfrey!

  11. alguien says

    it reminds of a situation i got into very shortly after 9/11. i was in the locker room at my gym and there was an altercation between a couple of guys-one was european, one was from the US. the american guy kept going on & on about “fucking foreigners this, fucking foreigners that” until i got so fed up that i suddenly just shouted something like “ok, i’ve had just about enough of your xenophobic bullshit” or something to that effect.

    it escalated to the point that i had to get the gym management to come down and revoke the guy’s membership.

    i hate that kind of crap and won’t put up with it, ever.

  12. Disgusted American says

    The sickest part of all this – is the reality THAT IN ALMOST 1/2 THE STATES IN THIS COUNTRY…THE US OF A…..LGBT AMERICANS CAN BE DENIED SERVICE IN RESTUARANTS – JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE LGBT….EFF’ING DIGUSTING!!!! Liberty & Justice for All my ass,,,,EMPTY MEANINGLESS WORDS…that make America sound better then it actually is , in Reality!

  13. says

    It was a compelling episode. I would like to have seen this experiment run in a rural area and/or at least not NY or CA. Also, as depressing as it is that so many kept quiet (one skanky idiot was laughin’ it up over the discrimination), a similar pattern emerged across other experiments that quite a few people didn’t ‘want to get involved’ even when it was an obvious injustice. I can see that when it’s an irate customer, but when it’s the water—I mean, really, customers have an upper hand so it’s a bit dispiriting more didn’t bark. I would’ve been alllllll over his ass, but I’m a hothead so I’ll take any bait!

  14. says

    Haha, I remember I was out at IHOP with a large group of gays in Muncie, Indiana and one waiter came up to a table and said pointedly “this is a family restaurant”, next thing you know he had about 30 angry gays and additional patrons asking for the manager. It was quite a night. The waiter felt stupid.

  15. TANK says

    So we don’t get enough real discrimination…contrived homophobia for ratings is the new thing? Hey, why don’t we call people and tell them that their mother’s just died in car accidents to see what they would do…then, at the end, we can say, “Naa, just fuckin’ with ya!”

  16. Brain says

    @ROWAN

    I respectfully disagree; if you open the door, bigots would walk right through!

    Always have the upper hand by establishing time, place, and relevance.

  17. Brain says

    @DAVID

    In there you make an important point: don’t forget to patronize “our” business establishments!

    I know that sounds awful….but!

  18. Hollywood, CA says

    The woman who stood up for the gays made me cry… that was amazing. To have people stick up for you is really a blessing. I hope that more people follow her example.

  19. Sergio L Romero says

    This clip brought me to tears, watching the the first two interviewed restaurant observers not willing to interject and the fist man being adverse to such treatment of homosexual couples was upsetting. The Ukranian woman at the end stood up for what she believed, for what was just. It appears to me that American born citizens are just too oblivious to the freedoms and rights we are born with in the United States. In post communist Ukrain oppression of self expression and simple acts of homosexual family outtings are still far too taboo. It seems it takes one to have gone without for so long to realize the freedoms we enjoy in the U.S. could be easily stripped from us if the fight for full equality is givin up.

  20. wslandry says

    This same thing happen in Brownsville, TX when my cousin tried to defend a gay couple being harassed and even though I respect & love my cousin, his actions left him with a twelve thousand dollar dental bill. Sadly to say most people don’t give a shit about anything unless it’s about themselves. Also fuck Texas!!!

  21. 121per says

    @ Kflo

    Hah, I’m a Munsonian and have been to that IHOP with my parents many times… Haven’t been with my boyfriend yet… Hopefully that was a one-time event!

  22. Rowan says

    @ Brian

    Wow, you ARE cynical.

    And you know what? You’re probably right. It’s all about human behaviour and how you think of your self. I wonder if you and your husband look like you take no sh*t? Prolly.

  23. says

    Okay, I am officially in love with the Ukraine. And interracial couples ROCK!

    I wonder how this would have played out anyplace else except for NYC? I would have liked to see this same experiment happen in the Deep South, in the Great Plains, and on the West Coast to see if people would be more inclined to speak up against out and out homophobia. Now I can hear some of you say that people are the same wherever you go. But still, I’d like to see the differences, if any, in attitudes across the nation and not just in NYC.

    It never ceases to amaze me that when people are confronted with real life situations where there are two very clear alternatives – speak up or shut up – more often than not people choose the latter.

  24. anon says

    Don’t piss off the waiters! They do horrible things to your food when you aren’t looking. There will be no way to notice. In fact, don’t eat at restaurants–there is always something horrible going on there. You don’t want to know–you just don’t.

  25. Rocky says

    @ Anon

    Fuck the waiters! If I ever encountered such a situation in a restaurant I will let the assholes no whats what and then tell them that I will not eat in a restaurant with bigoted staff and tell them that I will tell all of my relatives and friends and have then tell their friends and relatives not to eat at that restaurant.Lets see how much business they get then especially after adding what they do to the food into it.There’s your answer!

  26. says

    Rocky, you do realise that waiter was an actor, right?

    Besides, if the people who had spoken up hadn’t have gotten their food already I am sure they would upped and left before they did.

  27. Sean says

    This “experiment” would have been much more telling of human behavior had that same waiter behaved discriminately toward Asian couples or Black couples or even interracial couples. Would others around them who were Caucasian couples have said anything? Especially if the couples being unfairly treated were heterosexual? Would the average Joe be more inclined to take a stand toward racial injustice rather than homophobia? Or is our society so apathetic toward discrimination that most just turn out to be witnesses to another Kitty Genovese-like happening? I think I already know my answer to that one.

  28. Rick says

    I… really don’t think this ever happens. Sorry, but I think the situation was just sensationalized way too much.

    No one cares about a family with same-sex parents eating in a restaurant. Like the Asian lady said, “we’re just here to eat…”

    And I believe that’s what most people go to restaurants to do – not make out with their partner or something else equally ridiculous and out of the ordinary.

  29. Sami in Vancouver says

    Apathy is a killer.

    I commend the mixed racial couple and the immigrant lady.

    How many of us have witnessed this type of discrimination and did nothing? Worse, how many have witnessed this type of discrimination and participated in it?

    The human animal is a very strange being.

  30. Rocky says

    @ Rick

    You are an obvious naive idiot.There’s no use in explaining to you that shit like this does and has happened in public establishments,rather it be a restaurant,a movie theater,or something of that nature.Get some brains…or better yet,go back you our cave.I dunno what it is with some people but they refuse to except that the blatant discrimination gays and lesbians are faced with everyday happens anywhere,anytime,any place.Get a grip dude!

  31. Rocky says

    @ Glenn

    NO SHIT SHERLOCK! I know the actor was acting Damn you! Obviously I meant if the situation were real and it happened to me,which it did once in New Jersey.Read between the goddamn lines.

  32. ChrisM says

    Wow, I can totally relate to virtually everyone in this situation except the waiter. Having had a gun pulled on me after (politely) confronting a man about illegally parking in a handicapped space (a major pet peeve) I am now hesitant to get involved. I believe that I would have done something but I”m not sure exactly what it would have been. Setting up situations such as these are a good educational experience and make for good TV but the time will come when some unsuspecting “witness” will go off the deep end and hurt someone.

  33. TheNiebur says

    “First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a communist;

    Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a socialist;

    Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a trade unionist;

    Then they came for the homosexuals, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a homosexual;

    Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out
    because I was not a Jew;

    Then they came for me
    and there was no one left to speak out for me…”

    Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

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