1. Cybearsage says

    How long will it be before he’s discovered with a dick in his mouth or up his butt, again?

  2. Chris says

    It’s inclusive to gays so long as you not act gay, talk gay, or ask for equality, and as long as you work to give up your sinful lifestyle and try to become straight.

    That’s the only way these people will be “inclusive”.

    But seriously, what gay in his or her right mind would even patronise a church of his (or any other conservative evangelical sect?)

  3. FunMe says

    Georgie “Rent boy Customer” Rekers and Larry “Foot tapping” Craigee are rushing to sign up to this “church”!

  4. A says

    So, why is no one scratching their head and saying, “what the hell do ‘short’ and ‘tall’ have to do with this list?” Is it because we get that these things, like sexual orientation, aren’t anything in our control? Or is no one going to say that it’s silly to believe that people go through personal difficulties based on height relative to a statistical norm?

  5. Timzilla says

    If you are delusional enough to believe in an invisible man in the sky controlling your fate, you are delusional enough to believe Teddy has given-up penis and returned to his fictional “Lord.” Homo Nomo does not work. It won’t be long before Ted is again on his knees worshiping what he really desires.

  6. DB says

    To these groups “inclusive” seems to mean that gay people have the right to go there and try to change their sexuality, or that they can go there and everyone will support them in their self-hatred.

  7. aussieBum says

    George Rekers is also moving to Colorado Springs to start his new ministry – Luggage Lifters for Christ.

  8. peterparker says

    Who is the hottie over his right shoulder (in other words, the guy in the upper left hand corner of the photo)?! He looks like a stud. Let’s hope he gets his dad’s sexual orientation with none of the hangups!

  9. Gregorio says

    Oh, come on. Of course it is going to be ‘inclusive’ when there is money to be sucked from people. Especially those who tend to have decent jobs, and few accidental spawns from a drunken night as dependents. It’s ALL about the money. Like everything else

  10. TANK says

    Yet another windbreaking announcement. I’m surprised larry “the reptile” king wasn’t there with a microphone and sanitation baggy.

    Comparing gay marriage (and by implication, homosexuality) to obesity and drug addiction? They really have no interest in reason or science, reality, or ethics.

  11. TANK says

    giant purple marshmellow’s ideal plan for humanity was that it send me lots of money, and also, that christians aren’t allowed to get married….I’d go further, but giant purple marshmellow will be very, very angry if you don’t abide by his wishes (yes “his”). And I can’t be held accountable for what giant purple marshmellow will do when he’s enraged…look at the gulf…that was one too many christian marriages, and voila, the worst oil spill in u.s. history.

  12. veg says

    Ted’s kinda cute, actually.

    I wonder if his thing curves down…

    …that angle has always been the most inclusive for me.

    I’d sweet his tea with mint if he pays me double what Jovanni got.

  13. candideinnc says

    Well…I was breathlessly awaiting the surprising, exciting news that was about to be sprung on us by the Holy, Good Reverend Honest Abe Haggard! And I was NOT disappointed. He is going back in the business of conning poor people out of their money. Hallelujah!

  14. JCW says

    “Inclusive” My ass. The man has learned nothing… those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. If he thinks a “kinder, gentler” form of bigotry constitutes inclusivity, he’s more delusional than I would have imagined.

    Buckle up Ted… bumpy ride ahead.

  15. Mona says

    What self-respecting gay or lesbian would go to Ted Haggard for spiritual leadership?

  16. Disgusted American says

    well it looks like me and one other commentor were correct today with our guesses.

  17. Disgusted American says

    wow – that woman is dellusional…talk about “The Good Wife” …lol

  18. DippyDoo says

    Does anyone know if there are any gay-friendly churches in Colorado Springs or nearby? That area seems ultra-homophobic from what I’ve heard.

  19. Chr1s says

    So here is my take:

    Well the right wing wackos have abandoned him, and since all he knows is bilking religious people, he decides to try and bilk non right-wing Christians.

    Obviously, from his allusions to struggling, he’s not 100% hetero. I’m sure his wife is in on con game.

  20. jexer says

    Taking a page from the Catholic play-book eh? Seduce members of your own flock and then convince them how terrible and sinful and wrong their desires are so they won’t talk. It’s safer, (and cheaper) than higher a heretic hustler. Right?

    Of course, lusting for Haggard does kind of strike me as ‘terrible, sinful and wrong’ but more from a self-esteem perspective, not a biblical one.

  21. sal says

    well duh he doesnt wanna perform gay weddings,HE HAS TO GET A DATE SOMEHOW only single gays yall,lord people he needs a new man hunnneeyyyy

  22. walter says

    and his wife shows that some women will do anything or anyone for money. how many more of these dumb bitches are going to stand there and sing stand by your man. is the money really worth your self esteem???? but would do the guy in the back row in a heart beat.

  23. FunMe says

    MIKE JONES needs to show up. Every day!

    Hey, he might even get some referrals from the good old gay pastor.

  24. Anastasia Beaverhausen says

    I’ll wait and see. He’s off to a good start, though, with his go-go boy/luggage lifter/sons in the background.

  25. GregV says

    Mrs. Haggard will be one of the guests on Oprah today (a rerun, I think). (Thurs., June 3)

  26. Alfonzo says

    Sometimes we have to experience a real fall to really understand how imperfect we are. On the bright side, Ted Haggard has realized he shouldn’t ostracize other simply because they aren’t in agreement with his theology. Laugh and make fun of him all you want. He’s learning from his mistakes. I’ve also just read the book of James for a third time (in my life) and it not only emphasizes work as proof of your faith, it also emphasizes love of others. He’s at least trying to live an example rather and correct his past errors in realtion to “fringe groups” than expect everyone else to do the opposite of what he does.

  27. TANK says

    Fringe groups? The, “Oh we’re all imperfect in the eyes oh lawday!”, which is meant to apply to all from stalin to gilles de rais in an attempt to mitigate their responsibility. LOL! Some of us are less “imperfect” (cause less needless suffering) than others, which is a measurable feature of our behavior. Take your homophobia and christian “programming” elsewhere, alfonzo.

  28. says

    Well, it would be nice to think that he’s shifted his perspective, but since he’s been kicked out of the Evangelical movement I don’t see how this will make MUCH of a difference in the big picture, but for a preacher like him, step by step. He’s only half wrong – stable monogamous relationships are a good ideal. For all of God’s children. :)