Halloween | News

Watch: CNN Psychologist Scolds Mom for 'Outing' Son Who Wanted to Dress as Daphne on Halloween


Sarah, the Missouri mom whose blog post about her son dressing as Daphne from Scooby Doo went viral over the past few days, spoke to CNN about her blog post.

She was also scolded for "outing" her son by psychologist Jeff Gardere, who says it's the "worst nightmare" of both heterosexual and gay couples "to have to fathom that their child might be gay."

How do you gay parents feel about that?

Sarah, who seemed caught off-guard by Gardere's admonition, first explains that gay also means "happy" but then goes on to tell off Gardere, explaining that if you read her post she says he might not be gay, but even if he was, she'd love him anyway.

"First of all, he's five years old," she says.


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  1. Wow, how awesome is Sarah?!

    Posted by: Anon | Nov 5, 2010 10:52:35 AM

  2. Call and complain!

    Personal Manager
    Elva Mason
    Mason Management

    Office 434-984-6664
    Cell 434-825-5142


    Posted by: Mike | Nov 5, 2010 11:08:46 AM

  3. Jeff Gardere? A 100% dogmatic hack. Never has uttered, that I have witnessed, an original thought or anything creative or helpful in any way. It always astounds me to encounter his whining on any TV venue - why would any producer hire him?

    Posted by: emarell | Nov 5, 2010 11:09:55 AM

  4. A "natural" reaction to have negative feelings about this little boy's choice of costume?

    Wow. Does this guy have any idea how homophobic he is?

    Posted by: Steve | Nov 5, 2010 11:14:47 AM

  5. What an ignorant ass.

    "Worst nightmare"? Try cystic fibrosis sometime, asshole. Try muscular dystrophy.

    Posted by: melvin | Nov 5, 2010 11:27:41 AM

  6. Thanks Q for his email and contact info. I also sent CNN an email telling them of my disgust, not that I ever watch that horrible station, no matter how hot Anderson Cooper is. Cnn can be emailed @ http://www.cnn.com/feedback/forms/form5.am.html

    To JP, sorry for all the parents who lived through the nightmare of loosing a child, my sister and sister in law both lost their first borns, that was a nightmare for both as well as the whole family. Gerdere gives assholes a bad name.

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Nov 5, 2010 11:30:12 AM

  7. what an ignorant little jackass. I can't wait to say the same thing on his FB page.

    Posted by: Danny | Nov 5, 2010 11:30:48 AM

  8. I just got off the phone with Gerdere's manager, Elva Mason. Her voice mail at the top number was full, but she answered her cell herself. She said she had many messages to answer and asked for my contact info. She said she planned to make a public statement soon and would send me an email of it.

    She was very pleasant and sounded blown away by all the blowback from this idiot. Here is a copy of the email I sent her.
    I was not as kind in the one I sent Gerdere.
    Ms Mason,

    I am not sure if you are Mr. Gerdere's supervisor or not, but I was forwarded your email, along with his, in relation to his comments on CNN this morning. I don't know where to begin, but I'm sure you will be bombarded with emails so I'll get to the point.

    Mr Gerdere saying that having a gay child is every parents, gay or straight, worse nightmare is one of the most disgusting and obscene things I have ever heard from a Psychologist in my life.

    Mt older sister is a Psychologist and she and my sister in law both lost their first born children. Let me tell you, that is a parents worse nightmare. I hope you can either fire this fool, or at least ask to go on CNN yourself to denounce him.

    Patrick Barker
    New York, NY

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Nov 5, 2010 11:50:29 AM

  9. Yeah, my worst nightmare is raising a loving, kind, peaceful, intelligent child who makes the world a better place (as many/most gays do). Whatever.

    I sent "Dr." Jeff Gardere a facebook message to let him know that SOME of us are like this mother and provide unconditional love to our children.

    Posted by: Tonic | Nov 5, 2010 11:51:36 AM

  10. "Dr. Gardere,

    While I may have been a nightmare for my parents, it was certainly not because I was gay. Willful, stubborn, thickheaded and obnoxious perhaps, but not gay. I find your lack of empathy, your assumptions, and frankly your subpar research on the topic to which you were speaking appalling. Further, I find that it is also hypocritical to the oaths you are bound to as a licensed psychologist, the most principle of which is to do no harm. It is callous and thoughtless remarks like yours that perpetuate hatred, and give license to those who would dehumanize minorities and violate their civil liberties and personal safety.

    You should be ashamed."

    I highly encourage all of you to reprimand him for his thoughtless comments.

    Posted by: Ryan | Nov 5, 2010 12:04:38 PM

  11. Someone file an ethics complaint with his state licensure board.

    (Though I wouldn't be surprised if he were unlicensed.)

    Posted by: homoDM | Nov 5, 2010 12:10:38 PM

  12. I think the shrink is fucked up. How is it that a parent's worst nightmare is that his kid is gay? What about the death of a child?
    Is that preferable?

    Posted by: Frank | Nov 5, 2010 12:12:20 PM

  13. When I told my parents I was gay they shrugged, said "Well, you know we'd prefer if you weren't, but as long as you're happy.....", put their jackets on and went about their day. My Dad is a man of few words but I understood from his laissez faire attitude, his lack of tears, his not tearing his hair out, that it wasn't his worst nightmare.
    His worst nightmare was probably his own father dying when he was five years old and having to raise his own younger siblings, then watching his mother die slowly over a 5 year period.
    Like he said to me later, I never got a girl pregnant, I never did drugs, I never smoked, I never brought the police to his door and I got excellent grades in school. That's all you could ask from your kids.

    My (very straight, very Catholic) parents worst nightmare? No, I don't think so.

    My worst nightmare? Giving a platform on national media to idiots which validates them and calls them "experts"

    Posted by: Neil | Nov 5, 2010 12:12:46 PM

  14. surprisingly he responded

    " I do apologize becuase that was not my intention. What I should have explained and apologize I did not get to do... Is that gay parents I have worked with hope their kids are straight only because they do no want them to deal with the pain and isolation they may feel in coming to terms with being gay as youngsters. Again I do apologize."

    Posted by: Ryan | Nov 5, 2010 12:12:48 PM

  15. "You've heard of Dr. Pepper? I'm Dr. Jeff." Forgive me for paraphrasing Wendy Wasserstein. I couldn't resist.

    It should also be noted that Gardere frequently appears on the Today Show as their resident "expert".

    Posted by: Joey Stocks | Nov 5, 2010 12:17:33 PM

  16. RYAN I too just got a response from him and was surprised, until I just read yours, they are the same. Stupid fuck is too lazy to write a response dealing with individuals, he has to copy and paste.

    Mr. Gerdere,

    So by your rational, parents who are jewish, or black like yourself, should want to adopt white christian children, because we all know how much hate those two groups go through. Just look at the hate the right wing throws at our President, mostly because of the color of his skin. You can apologize all you want, you can't put the genie back in the bottle sir. The real apology is owed to Sarah and her little boy. My younger sister died when she was three, it devastated my parents and whole family. My older sister and sister in law both lost their first born, that too was a nightmare for all concerned.

    I hope you get fired over this and no one is ever exposed to your twisted thinking. If you are this misguided on this one, chances are you are just as foolish in your mind on other matters that people need help coping with.

    I don't wish you bodily harm, though I would not loose sleep if a bunch of angry victims of gay bashing bashed you, but I wish you no further employment in your current field. A McDonald's is more your level, not much damage you can do to a Big Mac or FF.

    Patrick Barker
    New York,NY

    On Nov 5, 2010, at 11:45 AM, Jeffrey Gardere wrote:

    Patrick I do apologize becuase that was not my intention. What I should have explained and apologize I did not get to do... Is that gay parents I have worked with hope their kids are straight only because they do no want them to deal with the pain and isolation they may feel in coming to terms with being gay as youngsters. Again I do apologize.

    Dr. Jeff Gardere

    Sent from my iPhone - please excuse any typos.

    On Nov 5, 2010, at 11:35 AM, Patrick Barker wrote:

    Mr. Gardere,

    I have never heard of you before this morning, but now that I have I wish I had not. I have never heard of a more disgusting comment coming from a Psychologist in my life. I went through therapy for years, and my Psychologist was a man with a kind understanding view of the world and life, who helped me recover from the true 'nightmare' of abuse as a child. Saying that a child being gay is a parents worse nightmare is not only wrong, it is totally unprofessional. It's sad that people like you are giving counsel to people in need of help. My sister is a Psychologist, she and one of my sister in laws both lost their first born, that was a nightmare. You are below scum. i just hope you soon are added to the roles of the unemployed.

    Patrick Barker
    New York, NY=

    Posted by: patrick nyc | Nov 5, 2010 12:24:03 PM

  17. Here's the response that I got back from the email that I sent.

    "Rhea, I do apologize becuase that was not my intention. What I should have explained and apologize I did not get to do... Is that gay parents I have worked with hope their kids are straight only because they do no want them to deal with the pain and isolation they may feel in coming to terms with being gay as youngsters. Again I do apologize.

    Dr. Jeff Gardere

    Sent from my iPhone - please excuse any typos. "

    Posted by: Rhea | Nov 5, 2010 12:31:18 PM

  18. My worst nightmare aside from debilitating illness or death is that my sons might meet up with an alledged "professional" like Jeff Gardere. To pose as an authority on what is healthy or a worst nightmare scenario presumes a fair and balenced perspective. It should represent some depth of knowledge about the profession. He is not fit to talk to anyone about nightmares...he is one. Dear God, the harm such a jerk like this can do to innocent and unsuspecting kids is unreal. America wanders around fearing "stranger danger" but welcomes this idiot into their homes. I think I'm gonna move to the jungle...its a kinder gentler place. To those of you who have posted about the loss or illness of your child you have my deepest compassion for what you have endured.

    Posted by: el rio | Nov 5, 2010 12:33:28 PM

  19. Why did CNN blur the kids face ??? WTF is WRONG with CNN ??

    Posted by: Tre Gibbs | Nov 5, 2010 12:37:36 PM

  20. If anyone came across as closeted and needing a good outing, it's the "doctor". Tight assed, falsely calm and prissily condescending. Girl, please! What an asshole!

    Leave the kid alone. His parents sound great. My "worst nightmare" is that that moronic "doctor"
    would get anywhere near him.

    Posted by: astounded | Nov 5, 2010 12:48:54 PM

  21. Here's my letter to CNN:

    I am 100% positive that CNN is a failed "news" organization. You should be ASHAMED of yourselves, in regards to the 5 year old dressing up for Halloween. You are adding to the irrational insanity of a small, insignificant populace in this country by taking issue with this non-story and also by having that hack "psychologist' on your show, daring to say that the mother outed a 5 YEAR OLD CHILD ! News flash - 5 year olds aren't able to grasp the concept of what their sexuality is - but again, that was a news flash - and "news" is obviously NOT your strong point.

    Posted by: Tre Gibbs | Nov 5, 2010 12:50:54 PM

  22. Here is the link to write to Kiran Chetry and blast her for allowing him to say "worst nightmare" and not question or challenge him on that statement.


    Posted by: joe | Nov 5, 2010 1:06:45 PM

  23. Wonder if the "expert" being black has anything to do with his crappy reaction. The black community has a real problem with gay people. Their own, too.

    No wonder CNN is in the tank if this mamby pamby "expert" is the only person they can get to do a segment on their network.

    That said, "ROCK ON, little kid! BE YOU and FLY!" And good job to his parents.

    Posted by: swashbuckler | Nov 5, 2010 1:09:38 PM

  24. Ummmm....did you actually WATCH the video? The doctor says he's not sure she should have outed her 5 year old son in her blog but he does NOT attack her, he PRAISES her for her unconditional love. The phrase that is taken out of context about a parent's worst nightmare is actually the doctor saying HE WORKS WITH MANY PARENTS WHO FEEL.... he is not saying that it is every parent's worst nightmare. Just watch the video, you'll be surprised that he is very positive toward the mother (and even though he says he's not sure she should be writing about her 5 year old on the blog, he conceeds that the blog is a very powerful tool that is showing millions that you should stand behind your kid no matter what).

    Posted by: kevin | Nov 5, 2010 1:09:45 PM

  25. i know when i'm looking for ethical or moral guidance, the first thing i think is "what would they do on the Maury Show?"

    Of course, the mor you watch CNN the more you realize it isn't a lot different than the Maury Show.

    Posted by: justiceontherocks | Nov 5, 2010 1:38:02 PM

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