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Kevin Spacey Says Asking Him if He's Gay is Bullying:
'I Don't Live a Lie'


In a new interview in the Daily Beast, Kevin Sessums grills Kevin Spacey about rumors he is gay. Spacey says he never discusses it because he "(has) not given up (his) right to privacy."

He also calls those who condemn the bullying of gay teens hypocrites for not also condemning the outing of celebrities.

Says Spacey:

"I think what we have seen in terms of gay teenagers committing suicide because of bullying is anguishing. I think young people, if they are feeling like they are confused, need to know that there are people to talk to and that there are places they can go and not feel alone. But I feel that they have just as many rights as I do to not be bullied. And I don't understand people who say, 'Well, this is a terrible thing that is happening to this young person whose life is being exposed,' and then turn around and do it to another person. People have different reasons for the way they live their lives. You cannot put everyone's reasons in the same box. It's just a line I've never crossed and never will."

Spacey also promises Sessums he'll do an "It Gets Better" video, and says that kids who bully use the media's bullying of celebrities as a role model:

"...why is it in this country that kids might think it's okay to bully and make fun of somebody? I'll tell you why, because what do they see in the media happening all the time? In the media they seem to think that's okay. So if we stop using sexuality as a weapon against people maybe everyone will eventually get cool with it."

Ultimately, Spacey says that allowing people to know his sexuality is allowing people into his private life, and he won't do it.

"I don't live a lie. You have to understand that people who choose not to discuss their personal lives are not living a lie. That is a presumption that people jump to," he tells Sessums. "I am different than some people would like me to be. I just don't buy into that the personal can be political. I just think that's horseshit. No one's personal life is in the public interest. It's gossip, bottom line. End of story. Now some people feed that. They'll go to the trendy restaurants where all the photographers are and then bitch about being famous. But if you don't want to feed that and you want your life to be based around what your work is then it ends there."

Kevin Spacey on Casino Jack [the daily beast]

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  1. He's completely right. The same thing happens on this website every day. If someone is straight, people say they must be in denial. if someone comes out, people lambast them for not doing it sooner because it's their "responsibility" to be out. Sad.

    Posted by: Joey Y | Dec 15, 2010 8:52:49 AM

  2. Unfortunately the more people that hide and deny the more it will matter if someone is gay.

    Posted by: david | Dec 15, 2010 8:57:29 AM

  3. He is not ruled by his right to privacy. He is ruled by fear. The thing is, can he be blamed? Or does society as a whole need to change?

    Posted by: david | Dec 15, 2010 8:59:33 AM

  4. I get his point - and he's right to an extent.

    The other thing? Celebrities who make such a big deal out of NOT saying they're gay are feeding both bullies and suicidal teenagers because if even THEY can't admit it (when everybody kinda knows anyway), it must be something REALLY, REALLY bad.

    I do agree with Joey Y that it is disgusting though that when people DO decide to come out, there's an immediate bitchfest against them.

    Posted by: Wolfgang | Dec 15, 2010 9:00:30 AM

  5. Boo-hoo for another rich celebrity. Guess he wasn't lying when he said he was "walking his dog" through a notorious cruising area in London.

    Posted by: QJ201 | Dec 15, 2010 9:03:59 AM

  6. Why am I I'm supposed to give a shit about this two-bit over-rated hack "actor," winner of the two least deserved Oscars in history? Let him remain in London, where he can happily cruise Hampstead Heath and lower the standards of the London stage forever.

    Posted by: Roscoe | Dec 15, 2010 9:03:59 AM

  7. Spacey is correct. WHY do people care what this man's private life is, whatever it is? MOST people, gay,str8 or whatever, are in fact private and like their privacy. I've never understood the psychological need and pleasure SOME gays get out of 'outing' others. It's one thing if a known closeted homosexual was actively homophobic and hurting the gay community, but that's not the case here.

    Posted by: ratbastard | Dec 15, 2010 9:04:32 AM

  8. @David,

    ...You sound like a dude who would happily destroy another's life just so you can prove a point or feel good about yourself and your perceived superiority.

    Posted by: ratbastard | Dec 15, 2010 9:07:44 AM

  9. Why do people care?? --- lets see because we are in the middle of a HUGE dangerous culture war..... and he is choosing to "opt out" and live only for himself.

    He can do it.
    And we can judge him for it.

    Posted by: Tony X | Dec 15, 2010 9:10:28 AM

  10. Kevin Spacey is a celebrity -- he makes his living by standing up in front of people and giving up his "privacy". If he was just a private individual, then why is he giving this interview? If he doesn't want to be known as one of the world's most obvious closet cases, then he should bugger off and stay out of the limelight.

    Posted by: PeteS | Dec 15, 2010 9:11:05 AM


    Posted by: Susie Sunshine | Dec 15, 2010 9:11:33 AM

  12. i wouldn't compare encounters with tasteless journalists and rude interviewers against bullies of kids that committed suicide. mr. spacey isn't on the verge of suicide is he? then he shouldn't compare himself to those poor children.

    Posted by: Trey | Dec 15, 2010 9:11:56 AM

  13. It's amazing how people like Spacey can come up with such convoluted thinking to convince themselves of something.

    Commenter David is correct. He is not ruled by his right to privacy, he is ruled by fear.

    Posted by: Brent Z | Dec 15, 2010 9:12:20 AM

  14. I see his point, but it's also true that the hiding of one's personal life shows a degree of fear and shame about it, causing even more criticism. If it's a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't situation, why not err on the side of being comfortable and open about your life? No one's saying we need to know every little detail of what happens in this guy's bedroom, but his current method is inviting criticism. He chose a career in which public scrutiny is expected, and he can't be too catty about the entirely unremarkable fact that the public will be interested in knowing just a bit about his personal life.

    Also, the comparison between his situation and that of bullied kids is offensive. Kids have no power, no control, no way out. Spacey is an academy award winning actor with scads of money and fame. Not at all the same situation.

    Posted by: The Milkman | Dec 15, 2010 9:15:57 AM

  15. I don't get Spacey's equating questions about his private life to the meanness and abuse gay teens experience. They come from very different places. There has always been an interest in who "movie stars" are in their private lives, especially their romantic involvements, and that interest doesn't come from hostility. How can Spacey do an "It Gets Better" video when apparently he seems to think it doesn't?

    Posted by: Dastius Krazitauc | Dec 15, 2010 9:16:01 AM

  16. He's right and wrong. Privacy matters, but so does the truth.

    If everyone just chose to be 'private' then we would still have no visibility at all. That was Harvey Milk's whole thing, encouraging gay people to walk into the light. So in that sense, Spacey's message here is counterproductive to that goal.

    I don't think he should be outed but I don't have much respect for someone who finds some kind of virtue in the closet, especially when the circumstances do not make it necessary (i.e. living in Uganda as opposed to being a wealthy actor who does as he pleases).

    And if for some reason he's not gay, he should just say it and drop the whole "I don't talk about such things" act. But of course, if he wasn't, he probably would have just said so off the bat.

    Posted by: Wes | Dec 15, 2010 9:18:41 AM

  17. I agree with Wolfgang. Obviously, Mr. Spacey is concerned that if the public finds out he's gay, his acting career will be damaged. Which is a valid concern in our homophobic society. (Just ask John Travolta) But at the same time, he's also feeding into the stigma that being gay is a very bad thing that people should hide. I'm not sure he can really say, "I'm not living a lie.", when society is coercing him into playing the role of a straight man 24/7. I understand that he's not to blame. But he is perpetuating his own personal DADT, and that's nothing to be proud of either.

    Posted by: David in Houston | Dec 15, 2010 9:20:37 AM

  18. "How can Spacey do an "It Gets Better" video when apparently he seems to think it doesn't?"

    Great question.

    Posted by: Wes | Dec 15, 2010 9:20:57 AM

  19. @Petes, actors are acting, it doesn't mean I need to know who they really are. I am watching who they pretend to be while they're are working.
    He is intitled to have his privacy. If I were an actor, I would do the same thing. Keep all my private life away from the press.

    Posted by: Matt26 | Dec 15, 2010 9:22:48 AM

  20. WHO DIED AND MADE YOU KING to assume you have the right to demand Spacey PUBLICLY [if he is gay, he probably is out privately] come out? Unfrigginvelievable. 'Old Queen'? He's a celebrity, so I have a right to demand he publicly speak about his sexuality? Here's an idea: mind your own friggin business. Anyone ever tell you to mind your own friggin businesses? You'll get into less trouble and be less likely to get 'bashed' or beat-up if you MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS.

    Posted by: ratbastard | Dec 15, 2010 9:25:58 AM

  21. Kevin WHO?


    Posted by: Alexander | Dec 15, 2010 9:30:56 AM

  22. "You'll get into less trouble and be less likely to get 'bashed' or beat-up if you MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS."

    It sounds like you're endorsing the closet to avoid gay bashing.

    Posted by: Wes | Dec 15, 2010 9:31:09 AM

  23. But for the social stigma attached to it, being gay is no more a private matter than being straight is. And being straight is a very public matter. To that extent, it's Spacey's comments that are a load of self-serving horseshit, not the comments of those who are trying to ease the stigma by living their lives free of the shame he pretends not to be carrying.

    Posted by: adamblast | Dec 15, 2010 9:33:43 AM

  24. Being in and out of the closet is so 20th century. Unless you are under age or living in Uganda being vague about your sexuality is all hypocritical nonsense. Sexuality is not the same as a specific sex act. Keeping the latter private is fine but denying who you are and calling it privacy is BS.

    Posted by: ggreen | Dec 15, 2010 9:36:32 AM

  25. Help! I'm trapped in the closet and can't get out! LEAVE KEVIN ALONE!!! He's straight! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    Posted by: RATBASTARD | Dec 15, 2010 9:36:39 AM

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