Movies: Missing Arms, King’s Speeches and Cher Snubbing For Oscar

Screen shot 2011-01-27 at 5.28.58 PM 09. Vagina Dentata?
There was an unusual amount of cunnilingus onscreen this year and we're talking big screen, not laptops or private viewing booths. It started early with Ben Stiller and Greta Gerwig in Greenberg

"You let a mental patient go down on you?"

…and it didn't let up all year. This might seem like a weird coincidence but it's actually the case. I wrote it up so I thought it through. Three of the most prominent acting snubs did the deed onscreen: Ryan Gosling in Blue Valentine (pictured left with Michelle Williams at the premiere), Mlla Kunis in Black Swan, and Julianne Moore in The Kids Are All Right. Everyone on the receiving end of those tongue baths was nominated.

Is Oscar saying it's better to receive than give?

08. 12 is Too Big
Before nomination morning, the bulk of Oscar pundits thought that The Social Network had the Best Picture win in the bag. But The King's Speech then joined a very elite rank of films with a 12+ tally on Tuesday which it can now smack The Social Network around with. Some of those nominations seemed wholly uneccessary… Best Editing? Best Sound Mixing?

07. The Supporting Actor Race is Awesome For Once
Historically this category is something of a dumping ground. They so often use it to recognize performances that are adequate in films tailor made for them (I'm talking to you Matt Damon in Invictus) or performances that are uncharacteristically embarrassing from a generally great performer who is due (I'm talking to you Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones) and so on.


This year's competitive set (Christian Bale, The Fighter; Geoffrey Rush, The King's Speech; John Hawkes, Winter's Bone; Jeremy Renner, The Town; Mark Ruffalo, The Kids Are All Right) is uncommonly deserving and, to quote Mark Blankenship:

Give or take a Geoffery Rush, I would make out with every single nominee in the category. And hell… if he talked to me all smart, I’d probably spare a peck for Rushie.

06. No Actors of Color. But…
Though the Academy always takes flack for the lack of color in their nominations, this year's predictable complaints about that seem misdirected. Better to blame casting directors and studio heads. Who could they have chosen? Night Catches Us stars two great actors (Anthony Mackie & Kerry Washington) but it didn't even gross $70,000 at the box office and that's not enough for Oscar eyeballs even if Clint Eastwood had made it with Brad & Angie in the leading roles. For Colored Girls was a much higher profile outing but the movie was poorly reviewed and forced its terrific actresses into often schizo performances with its rapid shifts from the play's gorgeous verse to newly written clunkers like 'we're sisters. we're supposed to stick together'. Besides, movies with terrible reviews don't get Oscar traction unless there's some extenuating circumstance like 'ZOMG. Cate Blanchett's a Virgin Queen again!'

Muppetsmovie 05. James & Annie
Aren't you dying to now what they're up to as hosts. We know there will be singing but otherwise…

04. Amy Adams is Adorable
Her co-star Melissa Leo is racking up the precursors for The Fighter but Adams is obviously winning an Oscar soon even if it's not this February. She's been nominated three times now in the past six years (Junebug, Doubt) and momentum is key to winning gold. She's already won Best Oscar Nomination Morning Quote this year from the set of The Muppet Movie (2011). She told Entertainment Weekly

“I am going to spend the day with the Muppets. And I am going to gloat to Miss Piggy.”

Miss Piggy will be livid.

03. "A Win For Marriage Equality"
That's what Mark Ruffalo called the Oscar enthusiasm for The Kids Are All Right, the dramedy in which he disrupts the dynamic of a two mom home. Even if that's an optimistic read of Oscar's leanings  — they've still never given an out actor the statue and we know what happened with Brokeback— it's still quite joyous to see a gay film in which no one is tragic, closeted or dead embraced with multiple Oscar nominations.

02. Close Your Eyes and Think of Last Year
When Colin Firth wins for The King's Speech (2010) I plan to close my eyes and pretend he's winning for A Single Man. This is often the best way to deal with Oscars since people rarely win for the right performance. They have to make it up to them later. Not that Firth wasn't good in The King's Speech but snubbee Ryan Gosling was truly truly special this year. I'm Team Eisenberg among the nominees.

01. "You Haven't Have Seen The Last of Me"
Internet fanboys were put on suicide watch when Chris Nolan was snubbed for "Best Director" again. This year marked the third time the superstar Inception auteur been expected to show up on Oscar's list (after Memento and The Dark Knight) but missed. That's a dubious distinction he shares with Rob Reiner (Stand By Me, When Harry Met Sally, A Few Good Men), the other director who won three Director's Guild nominations which were all followed by Oscar snubs. But if you ask me the most shocking omissions were Waiting for 'Superman', which had been expected to win Best Documentary and "You Haven't Seen The Last of Me" from Burlesque missing out on Best Song after its Golden Globe win. Last year they jettisoned the Best Song performances and without Cher warbling that earworm survival anthem, why bother performing them this year? That is unless, by way of apology, they invite the goddess to perform all the nominated songs — like that year when Beyoncé strung all the nominated melodies together.


Six Cher Oscar Looks

The Academy should never diss Cher. She gives good red carpet and now they've lost one potentially huge moment of the Broadcast. It's not like Randy Newman singing another Toy Story song he wrote in four minutes is going to make headlines on Hollywood's High Holy Night. 


  1. says

    Given that 60% of the songs that won the Golden Globe failed to pick up an Oscar nomination (starting with Burlesque) in the past 10 years, I’d say Cher and Dianne shouldn’t take it personally. Start a support group with Bruce Springsteen, Eddie Vedder and Prince.

  2. says

    Another great piece, Nathaniel. Very funny. Loving the bit at the end about Randy Newman writing his nominated song in 4 minutes. So true (probably).

  3. Gehrett says

    #2 is spot on. I believe Cher should have won for “Mask” and Kidman should have won for “Moulin Rouge”.

    As for #3, I thought Ruffalo was the best thing about “Kids”. However, I still have issues with the whole storyline of the film.

  4. fbh says

    Re: momentum.

    I really I wish I didn’t have this inkling that Amy Adams’ awards recognition will read much like Julianne Moore’s. Let’s pray I’m wrong and that luck will change for both actresses.

  5. rascal says

    Totally agree with both Gheret and Rowan. “Kids” has all the wit, sophistication, and plausibility of a Lifetime TV movie, with none of the sentiment. I found it vaguely offensive and even vulgar in parts. It is an example of how political correctness can trump common critical sense.

  6. Toto says


    whoa, way to get testy. I’m sure “actors of color” was used to reflect that no very obvious minorities or minority roles were nominated this year.

  7. Rob says

    Oh, come on – Kids are Alright is a good movie. I have no prob with the storyline and anyone offended by the lesbian character having an affair with a man needs to realize this stuff does happen and sexuality is way more fluid than is often acknowledged (for the record, I am queer as a $3 bill).

    Re: Colin Firth. I respectfully disagree that he doesn’t deserve the oscar this year. Had he won last year it would have been cool, but the ultimate winner last year, Jeff Bridges, deserved his award also. One thing I wish people would acknowledge is that there are often (usually) more than one worthy winners in a list of nominees. I remember reading about several people bitching that Sean Penn “stole” Micky Rourke’s oscar a couple of years ago, which was and is just complete nonsense.

    The Randy Newmnan comment: totally. Nothing personal, but God, will he ever just go away?