Comments

  1. says

    I was profoundly impressed by how they handled this. Men in general, and gay men in particular, are never told to respect themselves this way. I don’t think gay teens have ever heard this message before from the mainstream, and it’s incredibly powerful. Kids need to be told that they can be sex-positive without being casual and self-destructive about sex.

  2. bsmart2 says

    I was touched. I wish I had a friend like Blain who cared enough to go to my father and a father who cared enough to have a talk like that with me.

    I think it was done tastefully and yet got the message across at the same time.

    I’m certainly not a teen watching Glee, but I wish Glee had been around when I was a teen.

  3. jack says

    that clip is a keeper. every parent, school counselor, ANYONE who deals with young adults, should have that on file for easy access.

    i doubt many of us got that message, and most of us wish we had.

    on a side note, mike o’malley may have a small part, but he gets THE juiciest speeches. smells like emmy to me.

  4. Kerry says

    I was also touched and impressed by the way the script presented an insight into the special challenges faced by gay teenagers. And I also thought the scene between Mercedes and Brittany was insightful as well. I have hope that this show will continue to change the hearts and minds of mainstream America in a way that laws cannot.

  5. Waynesf says

    Just when I thought the writing and storytelling had gone in the toilet this season, a brilliant scene this like comes along. If only the writing were more consistent and to this standard…

  6. says

    Yes, this was handled well. What isn’t being handled well is the reality of gay teens and gay people in general. The majority of gay people know far more about sex then your average straight teen. For writers to depict Kurt as a naive gay noob is ridiculous. Yes, I know they are trying to take it slow but … YOU KNOW as well as I do that Kurt and Blaine would have jumped bones long ago if this were real life and they would be in a full-fledged gay affair by now. To keep playing this ridiculous game that gay people are somehow outside the norm is degrading to the gay community. Dear GOD, Quinn has had a baby with Puck, given it up for adoption, every straight cast member has either boned the other or kissed and petted (how come we can see a lesbian kiss but we can’t see Kurt and Blaine climb into bed together) but not the gay characters.

    Darrin needs to bed Kurt or at least kiss him passionately. You remember that Darrin passed out in Kurt’s bed not long ago – if you were Kurt would you have passed up the opportunity to have sex with Darrin? NO!

    Shameless, the TVShow, depicts gay teens as real people. A high schooler is having sex with his handsome married Muslim boss and the same kid is porking a high school thug and bully. That’s the reality of life, not the namby-bamby silliness of Glee.

  7. jj says

    This is just silly. The main thing any father is going to be concerned with about his gay son is that he has SAFE SEX. would have been a much more realistic scene – you can tell the father’s speech was written by a gay man who wasnt using a “straight father’s voice.”

  8. Hue-Man says

    Do the pamphlets exist and will Towleroad post them? Will we see the “post-pamphlet” talk between Dad and son? Ah, to be the fly on the wall for THAT conversation! (I’m from the multiple generations of kids who never had “the talk” with either parent.)

  9. Plum says

    You seem to be out of touch with reality by for once even thinking that Glee was providing an accurate representation of it. They sing and dance in the hallways of high school during passing period and each episode covers anywhere from one day to an entire month of time at McKinley High.

  10. Roger says

    Have to admit it made my cry a little. What a far cry from my parents, who told me anything I did sexually with another man would make me less special and could never involve any life-affirming emotion.

  11. says

    OS2Guy, just for the record, if I were madly in love with a guy, I wouldn’t want our first sex to happen while he was passed out drunk in my bed — especially if that were my first time with anyone EVER.

  12. CPT_Doom says

    For the record, having sex with someone who is passed out an not able to consent is rape, and I don’t think Kurt would be the type.

    Although the talk was clearly unrealistic – what is on this show – I loved the idea of making Kurt a bit freaked about the mechanics of sex – a lot of even gay men are freaked out by anal and won’t do it. Not to mention it showcased Chris Colfer’s amazing acting ability – he actually blushed!

  13. Rick in Cincinnati says

    (Apologies if this double posts, but I’ve refreshed the browser a number of times and don’t see it appearing.)

    @OS2GUY: First things first, Glee is not here to depict full reality. It’s a comedy. While they may depict Kurt as being a “naive gay noob” as you put it, they also do the same with the straight characters in past episodes and in this episode (for the sake of comedy). Finn thinks he got Quinn pregnant in a hot tub without having sex in the first season and when Gwyneth Paltrow’s character is teaching about condom use, she uses a cucumber and then the Glee kids suddenly become afraid of getting HIV from eating a cucumber in their salad. So to think of Glee as a reflection of reality is just stupid.

    That aside, I think your concept of “reality” for the majority of gay teens is way off base. You really think the average experience of a gay teen is boning their boss and a high school bully? Come on. My reality is much closer to Kurt’s than the kid in Shameless. My first relationship was senior year of high school, and we didn’t start the relationship by jumping each others bones. I wasn’t really educated on sex and neither of us really wanted to be getting used just for that reason. It only lasted about 3 months, and we never actually had sex. There was a little bit of fooling around (really not a lot), but a lot of it was just making out. And back then, if we did end up trying to have sex, I would have had no clue on how to have safe sex because no one ever discussed the topic with me.

    I also disagree with your assessment that the majority of gay men would take advantage of their drunk, passed out friend. I respect my friends enough, even if I’m attracted to them, to not take advantage of them when they’re smashed.

    And looking at the show, I don’t see Blaine having romantic feelings for Kurt and I really don’t see a romantic chemistry between the two of them. That seems to be the current reality, so why would Blaine be kissing Kurt at all? In the Valentine’s day episode he was into another guy… not Kurt.

    You say the show is degrading to the gay community, but I think that’s just you. You act as if we are all the same and our experiences are similar, but they’re not. That fact is clearly evident by the way I view reality verse the way you do. So Kurt and Blaine don’t reflect your experience? So what? It reflects that character’s experience and may be closer to some real kid’s experience than you think.

  14. Steve T. says

    PLEASE!: “Sorry, but sex can be JUST fun and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you respect yourself and your partner(s) and play safe.”

    Sure, but if you first come to it with Burt’s approach – only when you’re ready, sex affects you and creates a bond between people – you can always dial it down on occasion to just-for-fun when appropriate. (Always keeping it safe, of course.) But if as a gay teenager just getting started, you never know or do anything for years BUT just-for-fun, it may be a lot harder scaling up to the higher level when you meet someone you’re falling in love with.

    That, I think, is Burt’s point.

  15. Zlick says

    It’s more than breaking out in lip-sync song and dance that spells out Glee’s particular non-reality, nor is it that it’s a comedy. It has a very peculiar, clearly non-reality tone it has worked hard to establish. So this speech and Kurt’s gayness don’t have to even match reality, much less the reality of every single gay boy and parent on the planet. Sheesh.

    Personally, I haven’t seen any of this season, and I haven’t heard too many good things about it. But kudos for this parental speech. Non-realistic, alas for most kids’ reality. But clearly positive and inspiring – and maybe it will become a little more real for future generations.

  16. Michael in Toronto says

    Look, one single speech can’t be all things to all people, it just can’t.

    But taken for what is was — one father’s talk with his gay son — it was … magnificent.

  17. Michael in Toronto says

    But them OS@GUY, I see your point. You’re right. God forbid they show a passionate makeout session between 2 guys. It just won’t happen.

    I love MODERN FAMILY, but there has never been even the slightest suggestion of sex between Mitchell and Cameron — yet Claire and Phil are like happy bunnies.

  18. hank says

    How about the talk where the father explains that being extremely effeminate may be politically correct, but it’s not likely to get you laid in the gay world.

  19. Hollywood, CA says

    So powerful and amazing was that message that at not a teenager age, I was stunned. And I thin any gay man, at any age, could take something really positive from it. Great job!

  20. says

    To the naysayers: This show is “real” enough to depict a teenage high school couple having a baby, a high school teacher to be jumping into bed again and again; two teenage age girls rolling, kissing, petting in bed but apparently the show isn’t ‘real’ enough to have one gay guy do anything more then be a stooge to another gay guy. That isn’t real at all.

    We saw one bit of gay hand-holding when they first met but that was more like two boys skipping on the playground – not the same kind of passionate kisses Flynn was getting in his kissing booth. The writers could have had Darrin pay a buck for a kiss with Flynn. Geez! The NOMs of this country would have gone berserk!

    I’ve been gay all my life, don’t recall a memory where I wasn’t gay. I would BEG my parents for Ken and Barbie dolls and trade my trucks and baseball bats for them with my female mates. My own husband (yes, we’re legally married) was straight (and divorced) before we met. He had never even kissed a guy but even he shows more public affection then we’ve ever seen from Kurt and Darrin – and Kurt has confessed his feelings to Darrin, was hurt and disappointed when Darrin (sp?) didn’t make a move on Valentine’s day. It would have been absolutely charming if Darrin, obviously more experienced at being gay, would have given Kurt his first real kiss and asked Kurt to ‘go steady’ with him. We’d all be dancing like crazy fools for the two of them!

    Glee’s writers seriously need to move Kurt and Darrin along or find a love interest for Kurt. I was the school Mascot, openly gay, and had several boyfriends throughout my four years of high school. We often double-dated with straight couples, many of whom are still friends today. I mention this because that was and remains real today. My husband kisses me goodbye (usually no matter where we are), holds my hand, throws an arm over my shoulder, proudly introduces me as his husband. That’s reality and I can’t thank the stars enough for giving me such a wonderful partner.

    I totally love Glee but they need to treat gay people the same as straight people. We are just as normal as everyone else.

  21. Cal says

    So women and gay men get speeches like this insinuating their “self-worth” is based on their amount of sexual activity, but would he have given him this same talk if his son was straight? I doubt it. What is it about having sex with men that damages one’s self-worth?

  22. crispy says

    So what you’re saying, OS2Guy, is that this show has a bisexual double-standard. Do you know Jason?

    Kurt and Blaine are platonic friends. I realize that’s hard for someone like you to fathom, considering you advocated gay guys should rape their drunken, passed-out friends. But it is possible for gay people to be just friends. Your whining about it makes you sound like a Team Jacob fan still disgruntled that Edward got the girl.

  23. Paul R says

    Thanks, Crispy, for making my point. Blaine just isn’t into Kurt. He’s older and extremely good looking, and has explained that Kurt isn’t his type. Just because I had a crush on someone in high school doesn’t mean I slept with them. Unfortunately. I messed around with one guy for a while and we had no idea what we were doing, though it would probably be different today with more out kids and more information available everywhere. But between 1985 and 1988 I went to a high school with 2,700 students and I was the only out male. And that was in the suburbs of DC, not some rural area.

    Though, with Blaine and Kurt at an all-boys school, I wouldn’t be surprised if they find yet another gay character. But they might want to be careful: with two gay guys, a lesbian, and a bisexual (I think), they may alienate people. Though I have no idea; the show’s fan base is probably mostly tweens, middle-aged women, and gay men, so they won’t care.

    Anyway, I thought it was a great speech, though as others have noted, the likelihood of it being delivered by a straight mechanic father is about one in a million. But who cares?

  24. PDX Guy says

    I would have been very disappointed if they had the two main gay characters get together after it has been established that there is not mutual interest. It is possible for two gay guys, even if one is attracted to the other, to be just friends. Attraction is a 2 way street and just because 2 guys are in close proximity to each other doesn’t mean anything is going to happen, we aren’t animals in mating season. And Kurt might go all the way through high school without finding a boyfriend, it happens all the time.

  25. says

    Nice try but you read into my first post more then what was said. I never advocated gay guys should rape their drunken, passed-out friends. Think back to the original scene. Blaine and Kurt attended a party where Blaine got drunk and was hanging all over Kurt. The following morning Kurt’s bedroom door is opened by his Dad and there Blaine is sleeping, we hear Kurt’s voice from the bathroom and – wait for it – every viewer was assuming the two had spent the night together.

    Kurt had to have slept somewhere and even his Dad believed they had slept together. We had no idea that Blaine had passed out until Kurt explained that – but the question remains – where did Kurt sleep while Blaine slept in his big bed? Later he confessed to his Dad that he slept on the floor but would the writer’s have made Quinn sleep on the floor if she had brought a drunken Flynn home?

    And – to Paul R – there is no indication that Blaine is older then Kurt or that Blaine is more attractive or less attractive then Kurt. If they are only platonic friends was Blaine friendless before he met Kurt and is he just hanging out with Kurt now four episodes later because he is still showing the ‘new’ guy around campus?

    It just doesn’t make plausible sense. When Kurt confessed his feelings for Blaine, Blaine’s response was not ‘I don’t like you the same way you like me’, ‘I don’t have a crush on you’ or ‘we can be friends but not lovers’ it was that he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend. So we, the audience were left to wonder would they eventually become boyfriends? And the more the writers team them up for Christmas love songs sung to each other, or every scene where the duo are together, the more we, the audience, is being led to believe they are a couple.

    And if they are a couple then how come the writers continue to treat them differently then they do the straight couples?

  26. says

    It IS possible for two gay guys in a one-sided friendship to be friends but in reality it isn’t likely. You remember how hurt Kurt was when Blaine sang in the Gap to that other guy and the entire audience felt his sadness. That has happened to all of us at one time or another but in reality such friendships do not remain to such a closeness. It is simply too painful for the guy with the crush to see the other with someone else. Thus, they may remain distant friends but not the close friends we see being portrayed here on Glee between Blaine and Kurt, episode after episode. Why are the writers keeping them together?

    And I still have not seen Blaine state or say there is no ‘mutual interest’. We’re all still being led to believe that there is something there between the two men. Yes, Kurt’s feelings have been revealed but Blaine has not said openly that he does not care for Kurt ‘in that way’ and remember, these two started out holding hands, skipping and giggling about followed by Blaine singing a pop love song to his new friend then the two of them singing a Christmas love song to each other despite the premise that it was a rehearsal for Blaine to sing with a female. Yes, there was sadness when Blaine went gaga for that GAP guy but that was squelched effectively by the writers resulting in Kurt confessing his feelings and Blaine admitting he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend.

    So I’m not convinced they won’t eventually be a couple somewhere down the road.

  27. GregV says

    OS2Guy: Kurt and Blaine DID spend the night together and DID apparently sleep together in Kurt’s bed. Kurt did not ever claim to have slept on the floor as you stated. He said “We were fully clothed the entire time. Blaine was too drunk to drive so I let him sleep here; I was being responsible.”

    Personally, I’ve shared a bed platonically with dozens of guys (mostly straight), and 100% of the time we were both in our underwear (who sleeps in their clothes?) but I suppose if someone were so drunk that he passed out, he might just plop on a pillow and be out like a light.

    Also, Blaine was NOT hanging all over Kurt at the party. He hung onto Finn momentarily and made out with Rachel, but Kurt was not getting nearly the attention from Blaine that he has been hoping for. Blaine did not ever go further than walking in the door with Kurt or sitting next to him in the circle.

    There’s nothing unrealistic or even uncommon about two gay males being friends with each other, one more attracted than the other to the idea of sex or a romance, in which they hang out, go to parties, have a sleepover, etc. and never cross lines like kissing or having sex.

    We as the audience can not be sure at this point that Blaine has any romantic or sexual attraction to Kurt. He has said he “cares a lot” for him, but he didn’t say his feelings cross into the romantic or sexual zone.

    I remember the first gay guy I came out to, and I found him very sexy. I never did establish if he might have thought likewise about me (or not) but I had a firm desire NOT to be sexual with him in any way, even when he invited me to his apartment the first night we met.

    I was so excited to finally have a gay friend whom I could talk to, and I didn’t want to spoil that by muddying it up and changing what he was to me, no matter how sexy he was. I think Blaine and Kurt’s friendship is a type that a lot of young gay people can identify with.

  28. Paul R says

    On the sleeping in beds together issue: I just let my ex of 17 years sleep at my place, in my bed, for almost two months. Nothing happened except a brief kiss one night.

    Next week I have a bi (he claims; I think he’s straight) friend coming to visit for 8 nights. I only have one large bed now, so he’ll also be sleeping with me. Before the trip was finalized he said he was worried that it would be “presumptuous” for him to assume that he could sleep in my bed instead of on a couch. But we’ve done it many times in many places and nothing has happened–and this guy is about the hottest guy I’ve ever known and very affectionate (within reason) out of bed. I don’t sleep with friends or exes. Is that so hard to get?

  29. Paul R says

    Not to mention, there are one-sided friendships/crushes everywhere. Go to my dog park and see the people I barely know who talk to me and constantly ask me out. Look at people who have had crushes on me or my ex since 1991. Look at some of the friends I made when my ex and I broke up a few years ago—and that goes in both directions, but has gone nowhere. Sheesh. Some of us are incredibly picky, as are others.

  30. Ealan75 says

    I’m not into Glee at all, but I LOVE that scene!! That is one of the most thoughful “birds & bees” scenes I have ever seen, and its even better beccause you never see conversations like this btw fathers and sons.

  31. says

    Ok. Some posts have gotten offensive and that closes the subject for me. I simply don’t understand why some have to go that route but that’s the freedom of the ‘Net. I’ll remove Glee from our viewing schedule and hope for the best.

  32. Markus says

    AMAZING!

    I hope there are fathers out there like this, that love there gay son and talk to them with love and respect and the reality that they will have sex and they care what happens to them.

    I LOVE GLEE!

  33. Rowan says

    @yaddyadda

    It’s called Shameless, it’s on Showtime but the British original version is on Channel 4.

    Os2guy, for what it’s worth I completely agree with you but here in Europe we are not as it seems from reading on this blog, sexless, at a young age which is interesting!

    It’s very educational because it appears in the US gay guys at a young age have no hormones, man, you should hear some of the drinker stuff English teenagers get up to!

    Also looking at afterelton comments, it’s pretty similar to here where people all had sexless times in high school, so I think it’s simply a question that you had a much more normal teen upbringing as a gay guy-you basically experienced what being a ‘normal’ hormonal male teenager was and I think from the commenters, they experienced a much more reserved female high school experience where you automatically link sex to love.

    From the confidence from which you write of, I can imagine you probably told people to shove it if they were homophobic and inadvertently made them accept you, like the Swedish 20 year ol football player that just came out and said ‘your homophobia is not my problem, it’s yours’.

    I’d bet that kid was no Kurt at school!

    So in saying that, I think the issue here is with the character of Kurt. If the gay character had been an outgoing stud, then the sanitization would be completely irrational.

    Therefore the problem here, os2guy, is when will US tv show various representations of gay men that isn’t over the top fem, over sensitive, asexual, a victim, self-hating, a supporting act etc? Time will tell, as the reason why Ian is the way he is in Shameless is because it is a British TV program.

  34. Mrs. Sippi says

    Part of this speech was full of b.s. sexist crap. Women are tenderhearted and don’t like to f#&@ just for fun and men have one-track minds and without a woman in the room it could just all be a f!@# fest. Oh please. I don’t expect better than that from Glee– which proves constantly that they have a thin investment in women’s sexual liberation, but I somehow always hope they could be better.

  35. Jon says

    Thank YOU so much for having this posted. The message is so strong, not only for gay teens, but a lot of adult gay men. Thank you to the Glee writers for writing the words I’ve been searching for to say to the man I love.

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