Gay Buffalo Teen Kills Himself After Years of Bullying: VIDEO


Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old gay teen from the Buffalo, NY area, killed himself last weekend after what his parents say was years of bullying, WIVB reports:

Soon after coming home from a family camping trip, Jamey was found dead Sunday. His parents say he was always under pressure because of struggles with his sexuality. Jamey’s mother Tracy Rodemeyer said, "So he hung around with the girls a lot, so then the teasing started happening like 'Oh you're such a girl or you're gay or whatever and that bothered him for many years."

Jamey’s father Tim Rodemeyer said, "To the kids who are bullying they have to realize that words are very powerful and what you think is just fun and games isn't to some people, and you are destroying a lot of lives."

Buffalo News adds:

On Saturday night, he posted a lyric from Lady Gaga's song "The Queen" on his Facebook page: "Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door."

Then around 1:30 a.m. Sunday, Jamey posted two final messages to his main public Tumblr blog. One said he really wanted to see his great-grandmother, who had recently died, and one offered thanks to Lady Gaga.

That was his last entry.

Jamey was very active online, with a Tumblr blog, and YouTube account. He "routinely blogged about school bullying and thoughts of suicide in between upbeat posts about his pop star idol Lady Gaga" and posted to his followers about National Suicide Prevention Week, the paper adds.

He even recorded an 'It Gets Better' video.

Watch Jamey's heartbreaking video, and a news report, AFTER THE JUMP...

WIVB report:

Parents carry on anti-bullying message:

The Gay and Lesbian Youth Services of Western New York can be reached at 855-0221 or .

There are also national places to turn to for help. They are all free and confidential and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

The Trevor Project
24/7 Suicide Hotline for GLBTQI Youth

USA National Suicide Prevention Hotline
24/7, Free & Confidential

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  1. You disgust me, Rick.

    Posted by: tranquilo | Sep 20, 2011 1:15:49 PM

  2. Rick is correct in one thing: I think that some, maybe a lot, of gay and lesbian kids need lesbian and gay role models to learn that they can be gay AND happy, adjusted, secure in their personalities. My hetero father taught me what it means to be a man (and I'm not referring to some ersatz masculkinity), but he had nothing to say to me about being a GAY man.

    As for why black kids don't commit suicide for being bullied? No black kid has wever been kicked out of his fmaily, church, or community for being BLACK.

    Which is why gay kids could use gay adult roles models.

    Posted by: Ben in Oakland | Sep 20, 2011 1:16:00 PM

  3. @Rick,

    the more I think about what you said the madder I get.

    How DARE you say something so stupid? Behavior doesn't dictate your physical form. RuPaul is just as much a man as you and I'll bet he could kick your butt, too.

    Kids need to feel free to be and act how they want without FEAR of people doing them harm.

    Instead of telling little gay kids how they should act we should be telling ALL KIDS that cruelty and violence is unacceptable behavior.


    I don't care if he wore glitter lipstick it doesn't give kids the right to be cruel. Their parents should teach them that, but they're probably too busy commuting to and from work so they can afford Volvos instead of Chevys.

    The cruelest kids at the school where I worked were the ones whose parents were always working and never caring enough to spend an ounce of time training them to be decent people. Their values are screwed up and schools need to think farther down the road than just maintaining order, but promoting a healthy respect for all.

    This child did not need to have one day of feeling unloved. Not one.

    Gosh, you make me so mad.

    And the worst part is Rick that you could be as "masculine" as Tony Romo or Michael Vick and the "straight" guys I know would still make fun of you when you left because that is how they are socialized to think. It's not how "masculine" you behave that makes them accept you, you ignorant a$$. Those same guys all have comments when you're not around. They snicker and joke about you because by saying you're gay they think you've given a blow job before. LIKE A WOMAN. Oooooooh, got to have them as friends! Straight men stay 7 years old mentally until they turn 35!

    So cozy up to them all you want, but know this...even the liberal ones call you their "gay friend" when you're not around, Mr. Masculine Tough Guy.

    How do I know? Because those same straight dudes that accept you are always trying to feel up the tits of women like me and ask us dumb questions like why we like gay men so much--even the ones that have their token gay friends.

    You need to do yourself a favor and learn to accept that straight, gay, masculine, feminine, is all just superficial labeling crap and learn to love others and yourself.

    We are spiritual creatures having a HUMAN existence.

    Posted by: Rin | Sep 20, 2011 1:19:01 PM

  4. chalk up another one for michele bachmann and
    others of the christian right who don't see bullying as an issue. bullying kills and it is time for people get off their butts an do something about it. the it gets better project is good but more has to be done.

    Posted by: walter | Sep 20, 2011 1:21:56 PM

  5. So RICK speaks of respect but cannot even muster the ability to follow one of humanity's most basic customs of respecting the dead.

    Posted by: Eric26 | Sep 20, 2011 1:23:36 PM

  6. RICK - I responded to you on another thread about your views on masculinity and femininity. We had the beginnings of a civil exchange going. I tried, twice, to post a lengthy response to your last post on that thread, but for some reason, the posts didn't go through.

    Reading your latest rantings, however, make me want to be so uncivil in response. I don't know from where you get your point of view, but you need to start shopping elsewhere. What you see as "natural" and "normal" for all is simplistic and denies the naturally occurring variations in humans as well as all of nature. As we learn and challenge belief systems, we come closer to truths. Different isn't bad. Feminine isn't bad. If this poor kid was rejected and chose to seek companionship from
    females - as if that is a bad thing! - do we blame him for not trying to fit in and appease and s*ck up to his oppressors, or do we learn and grow and challenge belief systems and tell the bullies that THEY are the wrong ones?

    Speaking of s*cking, do you s*ck d*ck? Because the people you are trying to fit in with will likely never consider that natural or masculine, no matter how butch you come off. Unless they challenge their belief systems. Just sayin'.

    Posted by: TJ | Sep 20, 2011 1:49:21 PM

  7. @Eric


    How can anyone look at those big brown eyes and say something as stupid and ignorant as what Rick said?

    Oh, I can't even imagine what his mom must feel like knowing that she can't do things differently to bring her baby back.

    I cannot stop crying over this. I can't.

    He should be the poster child for why mean-spirited aholes should be kicked out of school for the first offense.

    We had a child at my school, not gay, but picked on for being "a nerd" and a poor one at that. His father was always telling him to fight back, but come on! These kids were football players and he weight 110 lbs soaking wet.

    He killed himself with his father's revolver because he wanted to prove that he wasn't a coward.

    Do not place unreasonable expectations on children. Support them and love them just as they are.

    Posted by: Rin | Sep 20, 2011 1:55:08 PM

  8. looking through his tumblr, it seems that his parents were part of the problem

    Posted by: tony | Sep 20, 2011 1:58:22 PM

  9. @Tony

    Honestly, I don't want to look through his little Tumblr :(

    It would feel worse, knowing that the person who wrote it is dead now.

    Dammit, why is this one upsetting me so?

    Posted by: Rin | Sep 20, 2011 2:06:37 PM

  10. Why is Rick still allowed to post here?

    Posted by: Rob West | Sep 20, 2011 2:09:22 PM

  11. "Unless they challenge their belief systems"

    And THAT is what needs to happen. Homosexuality and masculinity have been "compatible" in some cultures and societies--and can be again, but effeminacy and masculinity are inherently incompatible. We need to change the overall male culture to achieve the former again, but that will always be impossible as long as gay men continue to internalize the prevailing notion that homosexuality and masculinity are not compatible and behave accordingly. Their conscious embrace of effeminacy poisons the well and makes it impossible for other men to change.

    Most of you just cannot see that because society has done such a thorough job of stripping you of any masculine identity whatsoever that you truly don't even know what one is any more.

    It is a thorny problem, to be sure, but until the problem has been solved, "It gets better" will just be a hollow platitude to millions of young men like the one in question here.

    Masculinity is entirely NATURAL for men, just as femininity is entirely NATURAL for women and both phenomena have physiological bases. So the desperate hopes of some of these people that effeminate behavior will ever be acceptable for males (or masculine behavior for females) will never, ever be realized. Indeed, the fact that the kids in question in this case (and others like it) are part of the generation that so many of you have been relying on to be different from their parents just underscores that fact.

    Homophobia can be overcome with the right approach, but crusades against masculinity are doomed to failure......

    And until most of you come to terms with that reality and your own issues, no real change will occur.

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 20, 2011 2:12:36 PM

  12. Another set of parents in denial about the problems their kid was facing... It would be nice if teen depression had an easy cure, but drugs that often work well with adults don't seem to help teens too much. There is essentially no suicide without clinical depression, though some anti-depressants do seem to increase the likelihood of suicide (ironically). Parents need to learn what the signs of depression in teens are.

    Posted by: anon | Sep 20, 2011 2:17:38 PM

  13. Rick. you're an idiot. a dangerous idiot.

    Posted by: doug | Sep 20, 2011 2:19:33 PM

  14. I'll bet "Rick" acts like Paul Lynde in a wind tunnel.

    Posted by: David Ehrenstein | Sep 20, 2011 2:21:35 PM

  15. Of course since he's "come to terms with his masculinity" he's superior to the rest of us. Right "Rick"?

    Posted by: David Ehrenstein | Sep 20, 2011 2:22:37 PM

  16. @Rick

    you are full of crap. "Homosexuality" wasn't even a term until a few hundred years ago, ergo it was not "compatible" as you put it at some fantasy time period ago that you seem to glorify.

    You can pretend all you want to make yourself feel all butch, but you are wrong. I have 3 advanced degrees that say you are wrong, wrong, and wrong.

    "Masculinity" to the ancients was associated with penetration. "Femininity" was associated with "receiving". Men who received were ALWAYS considered lesser than men who penetrated. In ancient culture you would have the "a" sound associated with your name if it was found out that you received another man's penis, IE. you were considered a "girl".

    Considering that someone during what we now call "homosexual" sex receives at some point, there is no historical "manliness" that you can attach to it.

    "Caesar is every woman's man and every man's woman"

    Ever hear that? Why was that an insult if homosexuality and manliness were so intertwined?

    Hopefully, we grow into the fact that whatever you do sexually doesn't define you, that you don't have to act a certain way to achieve and receive respect.

    Men who are "feminine" are just as much men as men who are "masculine"...whatever those two stupid terms mean.

    You need to get over this men need to act a certain way and grow into the fact that HUMANS can act any old way they wish and still should be accepted and respected.

    Posted by: Rin | Sep 20, 2011 2:23:37 PM

  17. Listen to RIN, everybody. Sounds threatened, doesn't she, by the notion of masculinity and homosexuality being compatible? Do you suppose that has to do with being a straight woman and fearing that her source of power over men would be diminished if our culture ever embraced such compatibility? Yes, I think so.

    And you should all do your homework.

    Here is a little sampling of what is out there in terms of the documentation of human societies in which masculinity and homosexuality were not only compatible, but in which homosexuality was a critical component of masculine expression.....

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 20, 2011 2:39:52 PM

  18. Please ignore Rick (aka Jason). All the comments are obvious and give him the attention he so desperately craves.

    Posted by: Paul R | Sep 20, 2011 2:42:53 PM

  19. RICK - what do you know about child development? About temperament? About biopsychology? About hormones? About variation? About identity development?

    Your manifesto is limited, archaic, and possibly evil. I see little hope of opening your closed mind. It seems dozens of people on this board disagree profoundly with you. The fact that you have been challenged by so many and yet concede nothing and learn nothing has me seeing little hope for you as a fellow human being. I hope someone out there loves you. The rest of us? Not so much.

    Posted by: TJ | Sep 20, 2011 2:50:02 PM

  20. "Of course since he's "come to terms with his masculinity" he's superior to the rest of us. Right "Rick"?"

    No, just more evolved intellectually.

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 20, 2011 2:51:04 PM

  21. @Rick

    Oh, yes, that's me. I have sooooooo much power over men in society. In fact, every day I pat myself on the back because women own all the wealth, all the land, have most of the political power, and I guess we own outer space, too.

    Listen here, you pathetic piece of worm dung. I am upset because as a MOTHER--you know those people that give birth to children I see a CHILD that died because SOCIETY is so fricking CRUEL that they can't accept people wanting to exist and do their own thing.

    You want to know what "guys" post about in this wonderful masculine world?

    Head on over to THE SUPERFICIAL

    where you get great headlines like:

    Poppy Montgomery Can Cook Without Pants on, Too.


    Anna Faris is Cleavage-y and other news

    Or how about "I don't like you in that way"

    where you can read such masculine, manly edumacated stuff like:

    Hugh Jackman was on Raw the other night in a purple headband


    Alice Goodwin and Sammy Brady (two hooker looking women) Say Good Afternoon

    Of course, hahaha, her tits are saying good afternoon.

    Yes, you are so right. Masculine men really are superior in thought and whatever that they deserve to own 99% of the world's property and 98% of all political positions.

    Wait, you're the one that thinks I have all the power and am afraid of losing it.

    Okay, you got me. I'm the behind the scenes reptilian ruler of the world.

    Posted by: Rin | Sep 20, 2011 2:52:05 PM

  22. RIN - thank you for your comments. I'm trying really hard not to weep. It ain't easy. But if I do cry, it won't make me any less of a man.

    Posted by: TJ | Sep 20, 2011 2:53:05 PM

  23. @TJ Do you really want to go there? Because there is now a boatload of evidence demonstrating how hormonal differences result in differences between the genders in behavior. It is also well-documented that the very composition of the brains of men and women differ in terms of the percentage of "gray matter", among other things, which also leads to fundamental behavioral differences between the genders.

    I assure you I can slaughter you intellectually if you try to make the claim that gender is a "construct."

    No, what is a "construct" is for a 14-year-old boy to befriend only females and relate only to females after "struggling with his sexuality" because he obviously concluded that his perfectly natural sexual inclination towards other males was "unmanly"......and it is clear from his mother's comments that there was a cause and effect between the two.

    Indeed, look at the tape he made and you hear him say that he had plenty of support from his parents and his (all female) friends....and he had even been "reached" by the "It Gets Better" campaign....but all to no avail. In the end, his lack of self-respect overrode all those considerations.....and it is clear where that lack of self-respect comes from in most gay men.....

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 20, 2011 3:01:12 PM

  24. I think Rick has a valid point. There is an artificial association b/t being gay and being girlish. And there is a gay culture that reinforces that association. It is perfectly acceptable for gay men to refer to one another by female names and by referring to "she" and "her". It is practically mandatory to use the label "LGBT"which falsely asserts a common identity b/t gays and transsexuals. And if anyone dares challenge this, they are subjected to personal attacks, as demonstrated in the comments above.

    This idea that being gay is to be something other than a man or woman is a holdover from a different time. The people who created these cultural norms had their reasons for doing so as they were dealing with a society that considered them mentally ill or a third sex. But that time is over and we should start telling gay boys that they are every bit the boy as their straight peers. If that makes Towleroad dinosaurs uncomfortable, then so be it.

    Of course, the bullies and their parents are the ones who bear ultimate responsibility. And it is also true that some gay boys would be effeminate regardless of any external messages. But to the extent that gay culture tells gay boys and their straight peers that gay boys are destined to become something other than men, it is a contributor to the problem.

    Posted by: Diego | Sep 20, 2011 3:04:15 PM

  25. I had some other thoughts I planned to write, but then I watched the video clip of the news report.

    If I had only heard it, I might not have thought there was anything wrong with it.

    But I feel disgusted by how the news channel chose to keep flashing the photo of Jamey with his lips pursed out. Clearly, it is a photo that was "fun." TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL as a choice of what to show, when the point they should be driving home is to NOT TEASE OR BULLY gay boys!!

    Did they show the picture along with other ones? Sure. Three different pictures of him, looking younger. But in between, showed the close up that made fun of him, three times.

    Don't they see what they're doing??

    Posted by: Shoe | Sep 20, 2011 3:05:33 PM

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