Gay Buffalo Teen Kills Himself After Years of Bullying: VIDEO

Rodemeyer

Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old gay teen from the Buffalo, NY area, killed himself last weekend after what his parents say was years of bullying, WIVB reports:

Soon after coming home from a family camping trip, Jamey was found dead Sunday. His parents say he was always under pressure because of struggles with his sexuality. Jamey’s mother Tracy Rodemeyer said, "So he hung around with the girls a lot, so then the teasing started happening like 'Oh you're such a girl or you're gay or whatever and that bothered him for many years."

Jamey’s father Tim Rodemeyer said, "To the kids who are bullying they have to realize that words are very powerful and what you think is just fun and games isn't to some people, and you are destroying a lot of lives."

Buffalo News adds:

On Saturday night, he posted a lyric from Lady Gaga's song "The Queen" on his Facebook page: "Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door."

Then around 1:30 a.m. Sunday, Jamey posted two final messages to his main public Tumblr blog. One said he really wanted to see his great-grandmother, who had recently died, and one offered thanks to Lady Gaga.

That was his last entry.

Jamey was very active online, with a Tumblr blog, and YouTube account. He "routinely blogged about school bullying and thoughts of suicide in between upbeat posts about his pop star idol Lady Gaga" and posted to his followers about National Suicide Prevention Week, the paper adds.

He even recorded an 'It Gets Better' video.

Watch Jamey's heartbreaking video, and a news report, AFTER THE JUMP...

WIVB report:

Parents carry on anti-bullying message: wivb.com

The Gay and Lesbian Youth Services of Western New York can be reached at 855-0221 or glyswny.org .

There are also national places to turn to for help. They are all free and confidential and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

The Trevor Project
24/7 Suicide Hotline for GLBTQI Youth
1-866-4-U-Trevor
www.thetrevorproject.org

USA National Suicide Prevention Hotline
24/7, Free & Confidential
1-800-SUICIDE

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Comments

  1. "I assure you I can slaughter you intellectually"

    Bwahahahaha... deep breath... bwahahahahaha!

    You are stupider than a box of wet hair, and no amount of pseudo-intellectual BS is going to change that.

    Rick is the person whose smug face will one day cover all the papers after he opens fire on a boys camp because he's so much more intellectually superior than everyone else.

    Posted by: nodnarb | Sep 20, 2011 3:11:40 PM


  2. @RIN The source of power over men that you have as a woman in this culture is that a) "straight" men define their masculinity in terms of heterosexuality and you and other women control access to the "portal" that validates that maculinity, and b) thanks to a homophobic male culture, men are denied normal emotional bonds with each other and therefore are dependent on women for emotional sustenance

    Take their sexual and emotional dependence on you away and you would not have a great deal of influence over them, would you? And what would the fate of feminism be in the absence of such influence. I think you know.

    And I am sure that is a scary prospect for you and for other women, which is why I have always said that the interests of "gay" men and straight women do not coincide--in reality, they are totally at odds with each other....

    But as long as "gay" men are too dumb to realize that, you can go on employing them as social accessories and pets and confidants...but beware, we are not all that dumb and perhaps that is what makes us "dangerous", to paraphrase another comment in this thread

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 20, 2011 3:11:40 PM


  3. @Randy. There were less suicides prior to civil rights movement for Blacks because most of us were in Black families, attended Black churches , lived in Black communities. We had a large support team who shared our struggle. Unfortunately most LGBT teens come from families, communities that are almost all heterosexual so the feel alone.I wish there were organizations like Big Brothers/Sisters specifally for LGBT teens but I know the consevative/ right wing groups would accuse the org of recruiting/converting teens to homosexuality. I see the idiot Keith Ablow is still claiming that Chaz Bono on DWTS will influence kids to be TG. The solution is for LGBT adults to be out to the kids/ teens in their lives relatives , neighbors etc. RIP Jamey

    Posted by: Kim | Sep 20, 2011 3:15:41 PM


  4. ugh! Stories like this rip my heart out every time.

    Posted by: Scott | Sep 20, 2011 3:18:49 PM


  5. One last thought: I was a big supporter of the It Gets Better project. It seemed like a sensible way to get a simple supportive message to kids who might be on the verge of taking their lives.

    But watching this video, I have to wonder whether the message is really getting through. I mean, if this kid could do an It Gets Better video and then kill himself, something is not working.

    Maybe there are so many videos out there that the message has become diluted. I watched one a few weeks ago in which some guy delivers his message while doing an impression of Professor Snape from Harry Potter for the entire video. The whole thing was kind of a joke. That's when I first started wondering if this project might have run its course.

    Maybe what we need is to have at least one individual in every city and town who would be willing to talk on the phone or meet in person with any kid who calls. Not to give counseling, but to ensure that the kid gets hooked up with a professional. Maybe these videos are too distant, with no prospect of real dialogue about the kid's specific situation.

    Posted by: Diego | Sep 20, 2011 3:23:05 PM


  6. I see crazy Rick is here up to his old tricks again. Ignore him, he may go away. This is a terrible, sad story. My heart aches for him.

    Posted by: Derek Pearce | Sep 20, 2011 3:37:52 PM


  7. Slaughter me intellectually? More evolved intellectually? My Aunt Fanny!

    Your very words contain the reason your conclusions are flawed. The naturally occurring variations in hormones, in DNA, between individuals accounts for a wide variety of variation within a species. Unique individuals, like snowflakes (and a**holes). Yes, gender is affected by hormones, which are affected by heredity. So is temperament and sensitivity. Being different from the "norm" whether by nature or nurture or a combination doesn't make one undesirable. Unless one has failed to evolve emotionally and spiritually, which I feel can limit ones ability to use intellect within context.

    When I watched that precious soul tell his story, my heart broke. I didn't blame him as you seem to, RICK. So what, if by your reasoning, he mistakenly adopted feminine behaviors because he mistakenly believed it was the only way to be? Had people accepted him for who he was in his stage of identity development, he might have had less need to feel as if he HAD to chose and adopt and defend. When you walk alongside someone, rather than confront, the person has less need to defend, to become entrenched. Maybe he would have found his way to the "proper, natural masculinity" you seem to deem superior. Or maybe he would have found that for him, fully embracing his naturally occurring femininity was where he felt more comfortable. And maybe in a more emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually evolved society, however he felt most comfortable being would be okay.

    Posted by: TJ | Sep 20, 2011 3:39:05 PM


  8. I'm absolutely stunned and stilled. May this never happen to another child of any age or to any family again. God Bless him.

    Posted by: Jeff | Sep 20, 2011 3:39:09 PM


  9. @TJ There is no such thing as "natural femininity" in a male. That is a contradiction in terms. And what you are desperately trying to do is ignore GENDER-SPECIFIC differences in behavior that occur across the board and confuse them with individual differences that have to do with variability within a certain range, among individuals of the same gender. That variability does exist, but it exists in many instances ONLY between individuals of the same gender, who are totally different from the other gender in terms of some basic constitution.

    Nice try, but it won't work with someone who is really paying attention.

    On some biological/physiological/behavioral level, males are males and females are females and no matter how desperately some of you try to assert otherwise, that fact will not go away.

    And I did not blame this young man for anything. He was a child, who became a victim of the people around him. I simply see him having been victimized by BOTH a hostile culture AND a "gay" culture that reinforces that hostile culture rather than truly contradicting it and trying to change it by making masculinity the "enemy" rather than homophobia.

    Posted by: Rick | Sep 20, 2011 4:15:36 PM


  10. Y'all go a little easier on Rick. We don't know him or what he has had to live with that makes him feel the way he does. The last thing he needs from us is grief. We need to reach out to him and let him know that what ever kind of gay a person is, is exactly the kind of gay they should be and there needs to be no judgement of that. If you are a fem, GREAT! If you are a more masculine gay man, SUPER! You are loved and worthy either way. That is the message I want to spread. I love GaGa and football players. Heads up Rick! It's OK. I know that the tragic ending to Jamey's life is hurting you as much as it is hurting all of us. We are all trying to make sense of it. There just isn't any sense of it to make. Love to all of you. Hug your gay friends and family. Make sure they know you love them and that you will be devastated if something bad happens to them. Open your ear to them and lend your shoulder. If they need to cry or scream or just be silent, give them the space to do it. Most of all... Love them! Peace!

    Posted by: Michael | Sep 20, 2011 4:35:52 PM


  11. How good it would have been if instead of little Jamey it had been someone like this Rick person.

    Posted by: HoHo | Sep 20, 2011 4:52:19 PM


  12. Bless you Michael & your loving, accepting & encouraging words. Love & hugs to all through our tears.

    Posted by: terryp | Sep 20, 2011 5:17:02 PM


  13. Males are males, and females are females. There is masculinity, and there is femininity. There is no such thing as androgyny or the possibility of a predisposition, temperamentally, towards androgyny. There is no value in androgyny, either. Men are SUPPOSED to be masculine, so they should always ACT masculine, and we all know, inherently and infallibly, what specific behaviors, attitudes, thoughts and feelings are the correct ones for our gender. Damn those sissies for confusing us! Without them, acting masculine would be as natural as farting, scratching your balls in public, and drinking beer.

    Funny. I never wanted to put on a dress and wear make up. I never wanted to design dresses or do hair. But I find it very natural to become emotional, to empathize, to foster relationships, and - most of the time -
    nurture. All of these are considered feminine attributes and behaviors. I loved playing with trucks as a kid. I drive a pick-up. I love working with tools, fixing stuff and doing yard work. But I also love decorating. I'd rather watch ballet than football. I cook AND eat quiche. I can't stand
    beer. I'd rather avoid a fight and seek compromise. I sometimes giggle, and sometimes guffaw like a Neanderthal. I have a firm, authoritative handshake. I also give great tickle baths. I can speak in low, gruff tones displaying little emotion. I have also been accused, on occasion, of being highly dramatic.

    I'm so confused. Perhaps someone with the RIGHT way of being and acting masculine (I'm looking at you, RICK) could devise some sort of
    reparative therapy designed to show me where I've gone astray and betrayed my natural, manly self. I'm sure we'd all be happier and others would be more comfortable.

    Posted by: TJ | Sep 20, 2011 5:25:14 PM


  14. @Rick,

    since you are NOT female, please allow me to clue you in on something that pretty much 99% of all women in the world, be they straight or lesbian understand, and that is...

    We women have about as much power over men as we do over the tides, the weather, or the US economy.

    YOU seem to feel that we have power, so...hey, babe. Go ahead and live in fear and awe. I'm glad someone thinks that we do because I certainly don't feel it, see it, or recognize it.

    Power is not the ability to get some dude interested in my breasts. That's just a sight-hound thing in men. True power is getting a job where I have just competed with a man, and not relegated to the slot left open by a female.

    You have some serious self-searching to do if you truly believe that sexuality = power, in fact. You ought to speak to someone because that is a problem also exhibited by sexual offenders.

    As for the "interests" of gay men and straight women "colliding"...this is where you and I diverge drastically.

    I am not interested in "gay men" and "women" or "blacks" or whatever other label you can come up with. I believe that humans are absolutely 100% unique and cannot be defined by labels. I am interested in the struggles of underdog groups--especially interested in supporting kids because I am a mother.

    I see the world very differently now that I have children. I have a child who lives in a world of pixies and unicorns and everyone is a good person and ...just not this world the rest of us exist in. When I see a boy like the one in the video, I see my daughter.

    You see an opportunity to put "men" back in a box and remove all individuality and uniqueness.

    I want my daughter to be able to wear combat boots if she wants or heels. I want her to have the opportunity to act however the hell she wants to act without feeling like she has to define herself as gay, straight, transgender, etc.

    I don't want society to define her, I want her to do it for herself.

    I DO NOT want people like you telling her that she has to fit into some sort of box of what women are like (and then shipped off to whatever gas chamber you want us all to go to).

    And, quite frankly, Rick, you have no business deciding for that precious boy post-facto that he would have been better off had he rubbed some dirt on his pants and played football or whatever it is you think "masculine" men act like.

    YOU choose to see women as being some sort of Borg collective that sit around and fear men coming together in some sort of masculine panacea and then not needing us or whatever it is that you hope happens when such a glorious day should arrive.

    We already see men on the same team because we can see the fruits of that in every single political assembly in the world.

    But all of this is just ridiculous bull baiting when the fact is that the little kid that you thought would have been better off being more masculine is gone now.

    He'll never see another sunrise. He'll never have the opportunity to go to college. He'll never fall in love. He'll never have his heart broken. He'll never have it repaired.

    He does not exist because people are gregarious, create labels, and then exclude other people in the nastiest most unkind of ways just so that they can have a laugh.

    So you keep on believing that if you can get all gay men to reject all things "feminine" that somehow the world will quit being cruel, evil, and filled with selfish, self-serving people.

    Posted by: Rin | Sep 20, 2011 5:28:45 PM


  15. What Rick said +1

    Posted by: ratbastard | Sep 20, 2011 5:56:09 PM


  16. You know what infuriates me the most about Rick?

    Some people are simply more effeminate, naturally. There's not anything wrong with that. But dangerous people like Rick tell us that we're what's wrong with gay society. They tell us we're the reason straight society can't accept us.

    And to teenagers like Jamey, who are more effeminate, that's the door shutting on the only people who can understand and support you in what is undoubtedly the most trying time in a person's life. There's not really any effeminate gay role models -- probably because effeminacy is seen as being such a weakness. Look at Neil Patrick Harris for instance -- and please don't think I'm criticizing him for the roles he chooses, I'm not -- but he plays a womanizer on How I Met Your Mother. So of course he's turning to Lady Gaga and surrounding himself with girls. It's all we can do -- and obviously sometimes it's not enough.

    So, Rick, regardless what your opinion on the topic happens to be I implore you to shut up and have some respect for other people in your own community. We need to be there for each other, not tearing each other down. Your zeal is no less dangerous than the zeal of all the people who want to see you stripped of all of your rights, fixed, or put down -- not because they see you as effeminate or masculine, but because they see you as a homosexual.

    So, why don't you worry about your crusade towards masculinity after we're not being discriminated against by outsiders?

    Posted by: Grahamburger | Sep 20, 2011 6:21:56 PM


  17. Hold up though -- I have a question for you as well, Rick.

    "the source of power over men that you have as a woman in this culture is that a) "straight" men define their masculinity in terms of heterosexuality and you and other women control access to the "portal" that validates that maculinity, and b) thanks to a homophobic male culture, men are denied normal emotional bonds with each other and therefore are dependent on women for emotional sustenance"

    Basically, you're saying that men need to have female friends for their emotional sustenance, right?

    Wasn't that *exactly* what led you to believing that Jamey was too effeminate? Because he had too many female friends?

    Make up your damn mind before you, y'know, slaughter us intellectually.

    Posted by: Grahamburger | Sep 20, 2011 6:25:51 PM


  18. @ TJ --- are you single?? :-)

    Posted by: Michael | Sep 20, 2011 6:34:11 PM


  19. This is sad. Really sad. And wrong. And--from a CULTURAL perspective--a HUGE finger needs to be pointed first and foremost at the Religious "Conservatives" who teach parents, teachers, and coaches that anti-gay bullying is somehow acceptable in any way.

    To the extent I see something in Rick's above comments, I think parents, teachers, and coaches should be cognizant of GENDER. This kid was a BOY and identified as such. I suspect his male teachers (INCLUDING PARTICULARLY PERHAPS HIS P.E. TEACHERS!) could have shown more leadership in affirming this kid's MALE existence. And I also suspect (from my own experience) that the FEMALE teachers could have easily been the WORST in treating him as non-male.

    This isn't P.C. feminist for me to say...but when WOMEN who feel like they DESERVE their subordinate position treat a GAY MAN (or gay boy) like a "Female" without him expressing an explicit desire for it, those FEMALE teachers set up a class system...with the gay boy as THIRD / SUB-HUMAN class. It's messed up. And the peer-girls can be just as culpable in reinforcing it through their silence or acceptance. The peer boys are clearly at fault. But those peer girls usually deserve an EQUAL share of the blame for this sort of thing because they sit SILENTLY or in the end ineffectively and ACCEPT this stuff.

    If I were this kid's older brother, I admit I'd encourage him to make a few male friends who would defend him, believe in him, stand up to the bullies for him. To be 100% honest, that's how I got through it--and for me, I really don't know another way.

    So, yeah, my experience is that a few strong straight men are the BEST allies to young gay men (out or not).

    And that women tend to themselves discount the male value in gay men...sorry...but I'm correct. (It is WOMEN in my experience who press for attracted-to-females being what DEFINES manly worth, which is hogwash.)

    I'm not BLAMING this poor innocent soul for a MOMENT. I do suspect his parents could have better helped him, if they knew how. And I also suspect THE TEACHERS AND SCHOOL ADMINISTRATORS and their ACCEPTED POLICIES might be the best legal and practical target and source for remedy. I just feel like SOMETHING should be done for to bring justice for this sweet kid's death.

    The media video reporting it seems anti-gay to me, btw, like they are ALMOST indicating that maybe he DESERVED it for being gay and choosing to hold his lips that way. (And, no, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with holding your lips that way or behaving effeminately.)

    Posted by: Just_a_guy | Sep 20, 2011 6:41:57 PM


  20. :( RIP Jamey something HAS to be done about this.This cant keep happening these people DESERVE to live its beyond cruel and unfair.

    Posted by: Michael | Sep 20, 2011 6:46:00 PM


  21. I don't have a problem with what Rick says. It is a fact that many gay men act with an affectation in order to fit in with other affected gay men. As a gay man I have more in common with another straight man than a straight or lesbian woman.

    There is in fact such a thing as a masculine and feminine identity. It has been woven into our culture for thousands of years. It's not going to change. Gay men will go a lot further by embracing that natural identity rather than by fighting it. It also has nothing to do with superficial likes, dislikes, or hobbies.

    Posted by: Brian in Texas | Sep 20, 2011 6:50:09 PM


  22. Solutions, solutions, solutions. How can we do more? Here's an idea: why don't they have a weekend retreat for GAY BOYS and their DADS? The boys will see that they're supported by their fathers, that there are many other kids just like them, and the dads will also have other guys to talk to and see how best to help their sons. They could teach the kids how to have self-confidence, gain some knowledge about gay youth, and also how to defend themselves.

    It couldn't hurt. I think a lot of the problem is that the parents don't have the tools, especially the straight fathers.

    My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of this little angel.

    Posted by: Hollywood, CA | Sep 20, 2011 6:50:14 PM


  23. This story broke my heart. I always wonder what more we can do to help these guys and girls and their parents. My impulse is to tell parents to home school them. No battle is worth the life of a child. I was bullied as a young child and my parents just happened to move. I was able reinvented myself and by the time I was in high school I was very popular. Sometimes kids need to be able to do that because once you are ranked by other kids they never let up.

    To Rick's point, there is truth in his point that masculine gay men are not portrayed in our broader culture any more. Mostly that is because it easier to brand stereotypes than it is to show real people. It is also easier for masculine men to hide in the closet especially if they want to live within the Jock culture. That culture is the most bigoted and brutal toward gay people outside of religion. But a lot of gay guys love playing basketball. Yet how many times have we heard sports guys say gay guys shouldn't come out. Being a masculine gay man is not easy either. One reason it scares the heteros is because it breaks the oath and the brand of male hetero superiority. In a world where woman are making rapid progress and kicking male ass in the marketplace they need to hang on to something.

    The ending of DADT is the biggest step we have made toward ending the illusion that all gay men are effeminate and that all straight men are macho. And the reverse for Lesbians. The point is being gay doesn't mean you are fem. It just means you're gay. I am sure Lady Gaga would be the first to agree with that.
    But Rick, blaming this kid's death on effeminate gays is hateful bigotry, plain and simple. You need to stop letting other people define you.

    Posted by: Joey | Sep 20, 2011 7:02:46 PM


  24. I cannot believe the sheer ignorance being spouted by some people on this board. The idea that masculinity and femininity are genetic traits is absolutely laughable. Gender roles are social constructs, period. They were created by society and we have continued to inflict them upon our children throughout the generations.

    Boys are no more likely to be butch and want to play football than a girl is going to want to wear pretty dresses and clean up the kitchen. I can't believe in this day and age people truly believe this BS. Get an education for Christ's sake.

    If men were truly meant to be masculine based on nature, then I guess we homosexuals shouldn't exist. There's nothing more feminine than taking it up the @ss or sucking on another guys junk. And from a genetic and evolutionary standpoint, homosexuality makes no sense.

    You self-loathing homosexuals are absolutely disgusting. To sit there and say you think people should conform to your idea of what a gay man should be. You sound just like the "Pray The Gay Away" folks who want us to conform to being heterosexual.

    Posted by: BEAHBEAH | Sep 20, 2011 7:05:25 PM


  25. I can't bring myself to watch another of these heart wrenching videos.

    Please make it stop.

    Posted by: kodiak | Sep 20, 2011 7:06:40 PM


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