Bullying | Kathleen McKinley

Houston Chronicle Columnist Instructs Parents to Tell Their Gay Kids to Stay in the Closet for Their Own Safety

Houston Chronicle columnist Kathleen McKinley has penned an incredibly homophobic and irresponsible column suggesting that LGBTQ teens should be told by their parents to stay in the closet for their own safety.

MckinleyMcKinley says she came up with her brilliant idea after reading a People magazine about gay teen suicides due to bullying.

Am I mad at the hateful mean kids who bully and tease these teens? You bet I am. But I am just as mad at the idiotic adults who force our adult views on kids, and pull them into our adult world long before they are mature enough to handle it. The 13 year old that killed himself told his Mom he was gay. She said she already knew and hugged him. She said she just assumed that everyone else would be as accepting as she was.

Really? Have you been around teenagers? They are cruel and mean. They constantly tear each other down. It was bad when I was a teenager, I can only imagine what it’s like now. No, I don’t have to imagine how it is now. This is how it is now. Why in the world would you give teenagers a REASON to tease you? Oh, yes, because the adults tell you to embrace who you are, the only problem? Kids that age are just discovering who they are. They really have no idea yet.  The adults tell you to “come out,” when what we should be telling them is that sex is for adults, and there is plenty of time for figuring out that later.

McKinley then trashes Gay-Straight Alliances:

Because we adults and celebrities and our culture are so determined to sexualize EVERYTHING, we have created a climate where everyone is put into sexual categories (gay, straight, bi-sexual, transgendered, transvestite, sluts, man hos, cougars, ect), which is just so high school, isn’t it?  The 15 year old who committed suicide had started a “Rainbow Club” at his high school. Was there NO ADULT anywhere that could have said that maybe that isn’t such a good idea? Oh, no. Because that would be politically incorrect. Good grief. The idea of a high school club based on who you want to sleep with is absurd to begin with.

She accuses LGBTQ kids of flaunting their sexuality:

If my 13 yr old had told me he was gay, I would have hugged him too. I also would have told him that I would love him no matter what. But I wouldn’t have pretended that he could just put that out there among his peers, and everything would be great. There is NO reason to flaunt sexuality of ANY kind that young.

And says that the "It Gets Better" campaign is killing kids:

These kids were sold a bill of goods by people who thought they were being kind. The “It will get better” campaign just didn’t think it through. They didn’t think about the fact that kids are different from adults. They handle things differently. They react differently. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS...They don’t see it getting better no matter how many times Lady Ga Ga says it will. So, enough with our politically correct campaigns aimed at kids. It’s killing them."

Are Adults Also To Blame For Gay Teen Suicides? Yes. [houston chronicle]

(thanks, tipster nathan)

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  1. PS: Revenge of the Nerds.
    On of my best friends a straight nerdy punk who was small for his age and really skinny, thus he was picked. but again he had us for support and back up.

    after high school he formed a band that became quite successful first locally, then nationally and even had an international following. when he played gigs in S. Cal, he always kept vigil for the high school bullies that harassed us. and if he ever saw them at one of his concerts, he'd have the bouncers rough them up and then throw them out of the concert space. It was very satisfying for all of us to witness ;-)

    Posted by: Scrufff | Nov 4, 2011 4:47:12 PM

  2. And hey, all you teenaged girls, if you don't want to raped, don't go to college. Just stay home.

    I mean, we can't blame the rapists and the bullies for their bad behavior, can we? We shouldn't strive to make college campuses and grade schools safe places for everyone? That's too hard. You victims should just stop making these people target you.

    What an idiot this woman is.

    Posted by: Matt S | Nov 4, 2011 5:40:19 PM

  3. Kathleen is a wretched harpie in every way.

    I got my first automated spray tan at the gay-owned and operated Eclipse salon in the Montrose neighborhood of Houston and Kathleen came in right behind me. We were the first customers of the day and the machine malfunctioned, glopping on the tanning agent unevenly and far too thick. She got into the machine while I was hurriedly trying to rub it all in. When I went to quietly ask the lady that showed me how to work the machine if the stuff was supposed to be that thick, Kathleen started screaming at the top of her lungs like she'd been stabbed in the kooter.

    She went on a hysterical tirade, berating the employees and running around like a chicken with her head cut off shouting, "LOOK AT ME! JUST LOOK AT ME!!!" over and over and over. When the lady who worked there finally convinced her to go home and shower before she ended up with a camo-print tan, she turned to me and offered to clean me up herself and give me a complementary air brush tan to even me out.

    She said, "I'm happy to do this for you, because you were cool about all this. I would never do this for her. She's a b*tch. She's always like that. She can f*ck off. Bad thing is that she writes for the paper and now she'll probably bad-mouth us all over town."

    By the way, Kathleen is far, far heftier in person than that photo suggests.

    Posted by: Southern Comfort | Nov 4, 2011 7:11:17 PM

  4. Orientation does not equate with sex. Orientation does not equate with sex. Orientation does not equate with sex. Orientation does not equate with sex. Orientation does not equate with sex. Orientation does not equate with sex. Orientation does not equate with sex. ...

    Why can't people get this?

    Posted by: Jason 2 | Nov 4, 2011 7:34:40 PM

  5. When i saw the headline, i knew this had to be about "TexasSparkle." She's a moron. You can always count on her "columns" to be stupid, offensive, ignorant, or all three.

    Posted by: JR In Tx | Nov 4, 2011 8:58:52 PM

  6. Where to even begin?

    I think I've decided a litmus test for homophobia is when being gay is reduced all the way down to sex.

    It's very telling when she says that 13 year olds shouldn't be told to come out because they "shouldn't be thinking about sex." That suggests coming out = a sexual thing, when in reality it has nothing to do with sex.

    I'm willing to bet the majority of gay people have at least experimented with other guys before they "came out," to say nothing of the closet cases that spend decades -- or their entire lifetime -- in the closet. That they haven't "come out" doesn't mean they aren't having gay sex.

    Then, of course, there are people who come out before they have sex... because they don't need to have sex to know that they're gay. Again, in this case, "coming out" has little to nothing to do with sex.

    Of course kids don't know exactly who they are when they're 13. It takes a lifetime to find that out, if even such a question can ever really be quantified in any meaningful way -- since we're all in a constant state of changing.

    However, what she doesn't realize is that without coming out, it's very hard to really explore who you really are. Being in the closet is the conscious decision to spend your life hiding who you are, boxing huge swaths of who you are up inside so that it becomes *impossible* to even approach finding out an answer to that question.

    I remember when I was still in the closet and the irrational fear I had over each and every thing I did and whether or not those things would "out" me.

    There were so many lost opportunities back then, and I did a bunch of things that I otherwise didn't want to do. Being closeted prevented me from ever trying out for any drama club shows in high school until I finally said to hell with it midway through my JR year, and I ended up with a lead in my first serious drama the next season, as a SR. I was so upset with myself back then, because I knew how much I loved doing that and missed out on years of it. Mostly because I was afraid people would call me gay!

    That's what being in the closet does to people. There is no possible way for someone to explore who they are if they're told they have to stay in the closet, because any thought of that exploration is gone, and in its place life becomes about keeping the big secret. Straight people who want to throw out bigoted comments like that, without knowing what the hell they're talking about, need to STFU.

    Posted by: Ryan | Nov 4, 2011 10:34:20 PM

  7. This Right-wing dingbat is a classic example of EVERYTHING WRONG in the world!

    She is completely blind to common sense and the REALITY of what gay young people must struggle with every single day at school...

    WAKE UP!

    Posted by: bruce | Nov 4, 2011 11:42:18 PM

  8. It's not a disservice to anyone to give them forewarning and tell them what's 'out there' and to beware of it and be careful. It's not pretending gay doesn't exists. It's more a matter of self-preservation. And unless there are strict laws that replace the "slap on the wrist" to those bullies and criminalize such behavior, until these bullies get it into their thick heads that they will do time for what they've done, then in some cases, in some towns, she might be right. Bullying is hate our society is filled with hate especially when you have a major organized religion such as Christianity preaching hate. Do we want a bunch of your martyrs or would we prefer our kids to grow up in a society in which hate will eventually be non-existent. Would you send your kids out to stand in front of an ongoing train knowing that they might get killed?

    Posted by: David | Nov 5, 2011 9:32:01 AM

  9. In order to put an end to all this discrimination mess, I suggest we all just turn green, when it is impossible to hide there is really no point in trying. McKinley is just one more shining example of Amerikan sexual immaturity.

    Posted by: contragenic | Nov 5, 2011 11:53:20 AM

  10. Well, she does say some dumb stuff, but she also has a point. Teens (and adults) can be vicious. If a gay kid goes to a school without a strong support system for queer kids in a conservative and homophobic area then it IS better to be on the lowdown rather than risk constant emotional and possible physical abuse. Yeah, it sucks that has to happen, and hopefully eventually the time will come where queer kids can be out everywhere, but until that day comes, many kids in many areas need to play it by ear. The entire country isn't ready for gay 13 year olds. Personally, I'd rather see a SAFE, emotionally non traumatized, closety teen make it to 18 and freedom, than an abused, depressed, potentially dead martyr in a box.

    Posted by: Michael Strangeways | Nov 5, 2011 3:31:15 PM

  11. Giving kids the message that the only accpetable sexuality is straight and if anyone says anything else THEY have a problem is"sexualizing" high school.

    The idea that "gay" or "straight" is all about who has sex with who (and who sticks what in where) is the fundamental error in how conservatives like this regard the rights and dignity of people who are different. They condition their children from BIRTH to fit into a traditional concept of gender behavior, gender roles and gender norms. The last part of that structure that they can still make legally enforceable is "a marriage is one man and one woman." If that is reinforced for them, they will push on to undo legal rights for women and children, and take society back to their Golden Age Never-Never Land of Perfect Patriarchy.

    Straight allies are not just fighting for LGTTBQ human rights. We are also fighting for our own! I refuse to let Kathleen McKinley & Kin control anyone's life, including my own!

    Posted by: Anitra Freeman | Nov 6, 2011 2:53:30 PM

  12. I didn't even think about sex at thirteen years old.

    I just knew I'd rather kiss boys than girls.

    Posted by: Justin | Nov 6, 2011 3:51:52 PM

  13. The advise is sound. So long as bigoted School teachers and officials condone bullying by their refusal to punish the bullyiers (Throw them out of the school), our gay children are at risk. Also, sometimes it may be the gay child's fault he is bullied. One of my sons is gay, but his personality is such that he was liked by his school mates and had many friends, so that when he did come out, it was a "so what" event. Actually, the school principle called him to his office one day after school was out,and tried to seduce him. My son mearly said to him "No thanks; your not my type", and left his office.

    Posted by: Jerry6 | Nov 6, 2011 11:09:44 PM

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