Jonathan Vilma Explains Manliness On Twitter

JonVilmaIf you're confused, undecided, or otherwise uncertain about gender roles and their meaning in modern society, fear not: Jonathan Vilma, linebacker for the New Orleans Saints, has taken to Twitter to clear things up. Last night, seemingly out of the blue, he Tweeted:

Grown men should NOT hav female tendencies. Period. [sic]

This bit of wisdom was re-Tweeted by fullbacker Vonta Leach, of the Baltimore Ravens. According to OutSports, when a fan objected to Vilma's editorializing, Vilma replied:


So, that settles that.


  1. Vonta Humpalot says

    Hey Vilma? Yes Betty? Vonta go to da Bwontosaurus Boogers. We get hamboogers for Fwed and Bahney. Dey order us thwooh mailhorder bwide catalok but den day spent all dair time tweeting eech utter. ужасный!!! Fwed say he has period. *phhuii*

  2. says

    i think this is one of those men that confuses being uncultured, uneducated, uninteresting, and generally plebeian with being “manly.”

    we’ve all seen it before, in different forms:

    he’s not manly, he’s just illiterate and unable to appreciate art.

    you’re not “str8-acting”, you’re just so boring that nobody would ever imagine a gay man could be so devoid of personality.

    you’re not a Patriot, you’re a crotchety racist who misses segregation.

    you’re not ‘mature for your age’, you’re just one more adolescent who listens to bob dylan.

    you’re not “eating a real man’s meal” (herman cain), you’re just going to die of heart disease from an unhealthy diet.

  3. Francis says

    It’s comical really just how ignorant guys like this are, in what they believe makes a “real man.” I’m pretty sure severe cases of misogyny and ignorance don’t fit the description. But when you grow up and associate within an extreme hyper-masculine world and hyper-masculine energy, many lose a sense of how real people operate.

    Most of these guys who attack those who they perceive as not manly enough are so far from being real themselves that it’s really a wonder how they feel in a position to judge others.

    Of course, there are those, as Kiwi put, who are just uncultured and uneducated beyond reproach. I’m guessing Mr. Vilma is one of those individuals.

  4. justinw says

    Real men don’t worry about whether or not they are seen as being “masculine”. Real men have a range of behavior and characteristics, but all share an essential decency and capacity to love. It’s pretty simple, and possibly even Vilma might understand if someone explained it to him in such a way that none of the words had more than one syllable.

  5. Rob says

    Ahh, tweeting – the venue for instantly revealing your own ignorance. As someone posted in the Kelly Clarkson thread – better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

  6. congratulations says

    He is a black man with a job and not in jail. His sexual behavior and HIV status is unclear, but he is beating the statistical odds for his cohort. I bet he feels really successful in life.

  7. Francis says

    We all knew we wouldn’t make it through the comments on this story without one racially suggestive comment. No surprises there.

    BTW, Vilma posted another tweet about 45 minutes ago:

    “So of course the homosexual men get sensitive to my tweet and respond all ticked off. RELAX I was not referring to u guys”

    I’m wondering if the man is this much of an idiot, or if his account has been hacked.

  8. Gay American says

    Hey Vilma…Real men don’t Feed thier Huge Egos by CHEATING on their wives,and Gf’s……and have Numerous children out of wedlock…ohh, my bad..or is that ONLY Basketball playas’?

  9. Gregv says

    @Mike: I’m sure he has, but that’s definitely not a female tendency. Who knows really what he meant?
    Maybe some buddy pissed him off by acting moody (reminding him of PMS) and tweeting this was his way of telling him to chill out (one of a thousand wild guesses I could make).
    Making such a general statement makes him sound steeped in ignorance, the same as if he’s said black men should NEVER have white tendencies or Southerners should never have Northern tendencies. But he surely had some experience that ticked him off. Without sharing what that is and attributing negativity to whatever he considers “female,” he just sounds like an idiot.

  10. WhateverAndy says

    I seriously wonder why i still come on here, Andy you sure do like to make a mountain out of a molehill. If you are going to call out Jonathan Vilma for his statement you might as well call out all the thousands of gays who post more or less the same thing on their gaydar and manhunt profiles, I’m so over you!!

  11. facts says

    (a) the double standard here is interesting. Would this be the same reaction to say the white football player who prays a lot, or a gay celeb who says something offensive about trans men and women?

    (b) Whateverandy- you aren’t making a case that the tweet is okay. You are making the case that the gaydar and manhunt profiles are bad.

  12. BMF says

    Amazing. A straight, black football player makes this comment and everybody has something nasty to say. However, I have heard and read similar and worse comments from gay men. I wonder how many of the men throwing stones at this guy hold other gay men accountable for the same sort of prejudice.

  13. BrazenHero says

    BMF: I have held gay men equally accountable if not far MORE accountable when they belittle effimine gay men, or ANY man with percieved “female” tendencies. I wouldn’t let anyone slide with judgment. The fact is…I WILL stand up for grown people in this country in 2012 being able to behave in anyway they deem true to themselves without backlash. And all too often in our schools, in our work place, in our society even…men who have some feminine tendencies are picked apart, beat down and taunted. THAT HAS TO STOP. Our society was not mandated for us to all be the same, and Thank God for that. More power to effiminate men who are true to themselves.

  14. JackLandry says

    I may be what is considered “masculine” and often get people suspecting I’m straight, but my masculinity is not a trait I’m proud of. In fact, I give major props to fellow LGBT who are honest with their mannerisms, be it a butch lesbian or fem gay…it takes courage to face a one dimensional world that demands you act in a forced manner. I respect anyone who is loyal to their integrity.

  15. Greepa says

    REAL masculine men don’t fixate on how feminine men live. EVERYTIME I’ve gone on a date with a guy who preaches his masculinity and makes degrading comments about fem men, he ends up being THE most fem dude in the room. Not by coincidence either. You often hate traits that you see in yourself.

  16. IheartRealreality says

    Other thana senile, bitter, nursing home resident………who in this day and age really cares or has the nerve to demand people change their authentic tendencies and behavior for the comfort of others? This is the U.S. If you want to make demands on how others should walk, talk, and act, go live in a fundmentalist regime.

  17. JL says

    Color me suprised the wack job Rick and his alter ego Jason haven’t made an appearance on this topic, coupled with a never ending, long winded, bat blank CRAZY tangent.

    As others have stated: a logical, rational minded human being doesn’t care if a female happens to be a bit more masculine, or a man happens to be a bit more feminine. That doesn’t define the content of someone’s character, unless of course you are a bat blank crazy wack job.

  18. Michelle says

    Mister Vilma, there’s nearly 7 billion people on this planet. No two people were created the same, and Thank God for that. OUR country is aiming to be a place that embraces these differences, including fem men. If that troubles you, there’s some scenic places in the Middle East that may be more suitable for your brand of ignorance.

  19. Book 7 says

    “Seemingly out of the blue”? Nah. I’m guessing he picked up a cross-dresser, made an unpleasant discovery after having his tongue down the guy’s throat, THEN Tweeted.

  20. jamal49 says

    Um, Jon, honey, first off, could you define “female tendencies”? I’m not quite sure I understand. And, um, Jon, dear, when is a man, uh, “grown up”? I mean, is there an age limit, you know, or something like that? So, um, I don’t get your point.

  21. Rick says

    Just listen to yourselves. All he said is that men should not have female tendencies. He said nothing about sexuality and apparently meant nothing about it…..but you all interpreted it as being directed at yourselves. Why? Because, as I have pointed out, you have internalized society’s verdict that your sexuality makes you something less than masculine and YOU therefore define your own sexual tendencies as “FEMALE” when there is actually nothing at all female about male-male attraction……and, in fact, the things most gay men like to do in bed are not the same things most straight women like to do in bed, regardless of differences in anatomy.

    So this was the perfect Rorschach test, which demonstrated just how psychologically damaged so many gay men are…..and how deeply misguided their approaches to that psychological damage is–instead of trying to re-define masculinity as being inclusive of homosexuality, you simply try to attack masculinity itself or deny its existence…….even as you lust desperately after hyper-masculine men and would drop to your knees in front of Mr. Vilma at the drop of a hat.

    And you look silly and pathetic for doing so.

    Just learn to be a man and identify with being male and all your problems will go away…..I promise.

  22. Stephen Q says

    What else would you expect from and uneducated meat head football jock that has had more cuncussions than he can count. Dumb,brain damaged. He will never “get it”….period.

  23. Rick says

    “Mister Vilma, there’s nearly 7 billion people on this planet. No two people were created the same, and Thank God for that. OUR country is aiming to be a place that embraces these differences, including fem men. If that troubles you, there’s some scenic places in the Middle East that may be more suitable for your brand of ignorance”

    Oh, look, Little Woman is going to tell us men how to define ourselves, what our country is aiming to be, and where to go if we don’t like it.

    Let me make something clear to you, little missy: You and other women will not decide anything and can do nothing that men as a group do not decide to allow you to do.

    And one of those things is deciding on our own identity. Now go make yourself useful and iron a shirt.


  24. Rick says

    “…I WILL stand up for grown people in this country in 2012 being able to behave in anyway they deem true to themselves without backlash.”

    And there you have it. The goal of these radicals is no longer eradication of homophobia; it is social anarchy and absolute non-conformity……which is why they no longer have any credibility with the mainstream.

    Should I be able to go to the office naked if I “deem it true to myself?” There are nudists who would claim that to be the case, you know. And the answer, of course, is no, because no individual is an island and there have to be behavioral standards in a society lest it become so incohesive as to be unliveable…..and almost all behavioral standards have a legitimate reason for existing.

    I just wonder if you people realize how much damage you are doing to the gay movement with your extremism and your irrationality……or whether you have become so detached from the social mainstream that you no longer even care.

  25. says

    post the URL to your own page/video, RICK, where you show us all what a strong empowered masculine gay male role model you are.

    seriously. URL, please. if i can do it then why can’t you?

    stop being mad at gender-nonconformists for the fact that your father wishes you weren’t his son.

  26. Dan says

    I read a interesting article in “The Journal of Sexual Medicine” stated that if we see a hyper-masculine male walking down the street , we have a 95% chance that that is a gay man.

  27. Rick says

    “I read a interesting article in “The Journal of Sexual Medicine” stated that if we see a hyper-masculine male walking down the street , we have a 95% chance that that is a gay man”

    So I guess this means that 95% of the players in the NFL and the NHL are gay……and in the closet.

    Amazing that the other 5% are able to intimidate them, isn’t it?

  28. TowleroadVeteran says

    As a long time contributor on towleroad who knows first hand Andy’s noble efforts to muster this place up, I kindly ask everyone new on here to ignore the completely skewed, ignorant temper tantrums of a chemically imbalanced “poster” named RICK. He used to go as Ratbastard, and other ridiciulous alter egos. He’s the running joke on here, and everyone recognizes his bigoted, completely out of whack threads for what they are…..misery. Don’t pay him any attention, let those who love misery with company be left alone.

    Toelwroad enthusiast, contributor, and close to Andy

  29. TowleroadVeteran says


    You’re late for your conversion therapy session bubba. You knowww they start at 6 sharp so that you all can be out by midnight and hit the bathhouses. Now go get boy. Hurry, now.

  30. paulied says

    Perhaps just stretching to defend one our black and gold boys, but the odd, out of the blue timing of this could be in response to some sports media personalities and dirty birds whining about the way in which Drew Brees broke the Marino record by running up the score. Here’s hoping, anyway, as I had always admired him.

  31. Fismaster says

    To be a real man you have to be born with penis and testicles. Everything else is just to control people into behaving a certain way. If you are trying to be manly then you are just conforming and not uses your own mind to think for yourself and define for yourself who you are. No one can win this “who is manlier” competition, because you will end up killing each other.

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