‘National Post’ Columnist Laments ‘Man-to-Man Hugs’, Says Toronto Becoming a ‘City of Sissies’

Christie Blatchford, a columnist for Canada's National Post, is aghast that boys are now hugging and attributes it to the push for anti-bulllying laws.

BlatchfordWrites Blatchford:

There were a couple of boys, maybe 10 years old, maybe 12, walking ahead of me. Coming towards them was another small knot of boys about the same age. The two groups met, and immediately began hugging each another, one at a time. The trustees and ding-dongs at the Toronto District School Board would have been ecstatic; I was mortified and appalled.

This was about the time that Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty was all over the airwaves, with his anti-bullying crackdown…

Blatchford says she's sick of being "the toughest guy in the room" and says "man-to-man hugs" disgust her:

I am wearying of the male as delicate creature. I am wearying of men who are so frequently in touch with their feminine side they, not to mention me, have lost sight of the masculine one. I’m just plain sick of hugs, giving and getting, from just about anyone, but particularly man-to-man hugs…

…In aid of all that, let me offer a few reminders of the way it was once upon a time and really always should be.

I remain convinced that the best way to stop a bully is not to go mewling to the teacher, who will only call the victim’s mummy, or to your own mummy, who will only call the teacher. The best way is to take the bully out for a short pounding after school – and may I make it plain, please, that I don’t mean the victims should do this, but rather others. The onus for stopping bullies lies not with the people being bullied, but with those who see it happen.

This has been true for centuries, and it is still true, and it works equally well in the locker room, the office, a bar, and on the factory floor or street.

And don't you dare have a speech impediment:

It is possible to be a gentle and kind man without speaking in a soft, sibilant voice that makes all sentences sound to my ear as though they were composed entirely of Ss.

A Facebook group has been created in response to Blatchford's column: "Christie Blatchford Needs a Hug".

Christie Blatchford: Toronto, City of Sissies [national post]

Comments

  1. Geoff says

    My yes isn’t she a bright one. Let’s say the best way to solve problems is with more violence and with people winding up getting hurt or possibly killed.

    I for one commend kids who hug rather than raise fists at one another.

  2. Jeff says

    A sad day indeed when some boys hugging each other (instead of exchanging fisticuffs) is enough for a journalist working at a “national” newspaper to get her knickers in a knot. And a pretty tight knot, too, if that mug of hers is any indication…

  3. WebHybrid says

    re: A Facebook group has been created in response to Blatchford’s column: “Christie Blatchford Needs a Hug”.

    Christie Blatchford (if ever a name were perfectly suited…) needs more than a Facebook group. She needs a new face – oy, such a gargoyle – and an attitude makeover.

  4. says

    Why can’t she let people be who they are? Why should everyone act they way she wants them to act? Life is not all about her! She needs to grow up and let some warmth into her life.

  5. Chad says

    The traditional definition of a man was and still is in a lot of ways an extremely narrow one that people like Ms Blatchford would like to keep men chained to.

    It’s no different than arguing for “traditional” female roles of raising children and keeping house.

    Keep hugging guys. Don’t let this nasty woman define what it means to be a man.

  6. SFshawn says

    Wow. The jealousy and envy are just OOOZING out of her very ugly mind and even uglier face. Just because no human,man or woman,would ever want to touch(much less hug)her doesn’t mean that men shouldn’t continue to show love and affection in public.
    Better a city of Sissies than a city of angry witches like her afraid and desperate to prevent guys from showing affection in public. What’s next-start killing children when they cry?

  7. says

    for those who are unaware, The National Post is a relatively new paper in Canada, and one that nobody with an ounce of intelligence respects or even considers a legitimate news source.

    it’s a conservative right-wing paper, printed in big font with easy-to-understand simple words. it is notorious for its anti-gay ads, its anti-gay “op-ed” pieces and its general sense of reflecting the opinions of Canada’s White Trash populations.

    The Good News is this – Blatchford is calling for her own beating. Now, I’m not a violent person nor will I ever be – blame that on my education in Toronto which taught me to use my brain and use my words. However, when Blatchford is one day attacked downtown and beaten and violently raped within an inch of her life, I will take solace in knowing that it’s what she would have wanted, and with any luck no sissy males will come to her aid by exercising compassion or love.
    Because men are just supposed to fight, and fart. Apparently.

    Her article is, of course, nothing more than a barely-veiled attack on not just the LGBT Community but the culture of intelligence and understanding and education in Toronto that right-wing conservatives oppose. I mean, the woman is upset that young boys in Toronto are behaving with more class and grace than the adult males of Blatchford’s generation. She’s literally upset that the young men of Toronto are not primitive neanderthals.

    She is attempting to put fear in the hearts and minds of parents of males – the fear that their intelligence and compassion makes them “weak”, “sissies” and thus worth of derision. Shameful.

    Like I said, I won’t shed a tear when she’s violently raped and beaten. Clearly it’s what she thinks men should be out doing.

  8. Jay says

    Wow –

    Freud would have taken one look at that picture and her nostalgic rant and said something about penis envy!

    And speaking of penises… Whether she prefers one attached to a man… or some doohickey designed to please but doesn’t look at all like a penis…

    Someone sounds like she DESPERATELY needs to be diddled! Quickly…often…and with a lot of intensity (hell, I know when I’m being grumpy, it’s usually because I need some attention myself!)!

    The picture: Arms crossed and an attempt at a smile that makes me think of the little blond girl in Adams Family “make her stop…she’s scarying me!”…combined with her words speak volumes…

  9. Rob says

    Yikes!! Look at her – couldn’t get a hug if she paid for it. Therefore, no one should hug. I woudl say poor thing, but you have to make yourself be THAT hate filled.

  10. Sean in Dallas says

    What the f#ck are you doing out of the kitchen? Who taught you to read and write? What’s with the glare–keep yer eyes down or it’s off to the stockade!

    And for the love of god, get a burka on, STAT.

  11. NE Rich says

    OMG, I thought I had clicked on the Onion when I saw this. I have no idea who this person is but I look at the picture and read the piece and my first reaction, what about the loss of “traditional” femininity?? I mean the other side of her bizarre coin would be girls should dress in light pretty clothes, dump the masculine slacks and be more girly right? wear makup etc and learn how to be good housewife’s and not work for a newspaper, that’s not a real nice way for a girl to behave. Toronto: City of Tomboys

  12. Ghislain says

    This is typical Blatchford, it’s her bread and butter and one shouldn’t sucumb into given a second thought as what she says. Jusr raise your shoulder and move one, no need to write to her or create a facebook group–useless! This is what she is being paid for.

  13. Caliban says

    Wow. Who would have thought that a woman with a bitter, scrunched up face and lips pursed up tighter than a cat’s @sshole would turn out to be filled with hateful, stupid opinions?

    I for one am SHOCKED!

  14. Den says

    I reckon she has spent a lot of time trying to approach men for a hug and each one with a look of terror on their face will instantly grab the nearest man to hug thus avoiding having to ‘cheek to cheek’ with her. THAT’S why she hates man to man hugs .

  15. Erem says

    Most of what she says is pretty dumb, but I think she’s right about stopping bullying.

    You don’t need to beat them to a pulp, but bystanders have to do what is right, not ignore it or sit on the sidelines.

  16. RIck says

    Not surprisingly, virtually every one of you–as imprisoned by your own “gay” culture of effeminacy as this woman is by the prevailing culture in which women are supposed to be at the center of men’s universes–misinterpret completely what is happening.

    This woman’s bitterness is not about preservation of “traditional gender roles”–after all, she is a journalist and apparently not a mother, even, much less a stay-at-home mother…….no, instead it is about the deep-seated fear that many women have that men are realizing that a) romantic relationships with women are generally unpleasant,b) that women do not understand them and are therefore not natural soulmates for them, c)that the only way to rectify this situation is for men to become more emotionally available to each other–and d) that that emotional availability means tearing down the barriers to expressing emotions between men.

    There is nothing at all in her description to suggest that the boys engaging in this behavior are “gay”–nor is there anything “gay” about the emerging phenomenon of the “bromance”–No, all this is as antithetical to the traditional “gay” culture of effeminacy (and woman worship) as it is to the culture that expects men to attach themselves emotionally to wome–and only women.

    Oddly, both the traditional “gay” male culture and the traditional “straight” male culture led to the same result for their practitioners, namely emotional dependence on women. That dependence just took different forms–with “straight” men, it was in the form of “romantic love” with women while keeping emotional distance from men……with “gay” men, it was in the form of intimate friendships with women (in preference to men) and idolization of women (the diva phenomenon), while objectifying men and generally having a negative view of them (including other gay men).

    The phenomenon described here is perfectly in line with the new male culture I have been observing and advocating–one that will free all men entirely of their social and emotional dependence on women……and lead not only to greater happiness for them, but greater empowerment….

  17. says

    then why, RICK, are you still not Out?

    Seriously. Post the URL to your own page or youtube video where you show what a prime example of an Empowered Masculine Gay Role-model you are.

    seriously. prove it. show us all that you’re the big strong masc man that you continually claim to be. What’s the URL to your page or video?

  18. FSGinger says

    Can’t we critique this idiot without resorting to misogyny? Implying she is a man hating lesbian, calling her ugly, saying she can’t attract men our get laid… We’re no better than her on this thread if every critique we have is centered in homophobic misogyny.

  19. jason says

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: women contribute to a lot of homophobia. They are jealous of male-male sensuality. They see it as a challenge to the supremacist notion that they have built up over the years – ie only women can hug each other in public, only women can be bisexual and be considered cool.

    This female supremacist notion extends from the platonic to the sexual. Just be aware of it.

  20. says

    actually, “Jason”, her stance is decidedly the product of MALE homophobia and bigotry.

    like the self-hating gay men who are still sucking up to the fathers that loathe calling them “Son” by being anti-gay toward “those other gays”, Blatchford is a notoriously weak woman in the same vein as Palin, Coulter et al. They suck up to the ideologies of ignorant neanderthal males to win their approval.

    she’s parroting exactly what prejudiced and insecure men say and want to hear.

    incidentally, “Jason”, you too have a lot of to say and yet always say it from a place of cowardly anonymity.

    is there any particular reason that you and “rick” insist on treating the internet like a burqa?

  21. says

    How can RICK claim that we OUT guys are “imprisoned” by anything?

    RICK, we’re not the ones living with one foot and both balls in the Closet. You are.

    You live in fear that you’ll be perceived as “weak” for being gay. But you are weak, and cowardly. Not because you’re gay, but because you’re such a little wuss about it.

    But hey, you can always make me look like a fool by proving me wrong when you post the URL to your own page or video. right?

    😉

  22. nikko says

    I, for one, understand and appreciate many of the comments RICK and JASOn make. And I also agree with one of points Christie Blatchford wrote: bash bullies back(if you can. If you can’t, let others do itfor you. There. Everybody wins. Although the rest of her piece is ridiculous. Men turning to each other in affection and care will save society, not destroy it like her generation’s version of maleness. Blech.

  23. MammaBear says

    Poor thing has lost her mind.

    She used to write some of the more thoughtful pieces on criminal justice, and had some skill.

    Since she moved to the Post, she’s taken on this tough guy persona and abandoned any pretense of wanting to talk intelligently about anything serious. She just wants to make fun of people now.

    This is mild compared to her TOTALLY crazy Jack Layton attack, issued hours after he died. At least she doesn’t use the word “vainglorious”. That would be a pain in the arse.

  24. Nat says

    “bash bullies back(if you can. If you can’t, let others do itfor you. There. Everybody wins. Although the rest of her piece is ridiculous.”

    Who are these ‘others’ you speak of? Because generally, truly severe bullying is directed at children perceived as weak – either physically, emotionally, or because they have little to no friends.

    What Ms. Blatchford is attacking is exactly what’s needed: the intervention of authority figures to actually do something to stop the bullying, as opposed to telling bullied children to tough it out.

  25. says

    is it any wonder that the “men” on this thread who agree with Bigotty Blatchford can only make their comments from a place of nameless and faceless anonymity?

    No, it’s no wonder. It’s textbook. the “men should act like men” brigade clearly aren’t Man enough to put a face and name to their statements and beliefs- thus making them no men at all. They’re boys, with no balls, shouting from inside their own closets.

    *yawn*

  26. says

    then perhaps you can show us video or photos of you and your father marching in a pride parade together, “marty”. right?

    i’ll show you how easy it is, here’s my dad:
    http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.com/2011/04/fathers-message.html

    So, to those who are agreeing with Blatchord and “rick/jason”, can you do the same? Can you put a direct face and name to your comments?

    Can you show us how you, and your apparently exceptional fathers, are out there actively promoting Equality for the LGBT Community?

    it’s as easy as I did – post the URL.

    care to do it?

    http://littlekiwilovesbauhaus.blogspot.com/2011/04/fathers-message.html

  27. Matt S says

    She doesn’t need a hug. She is a bully. As per her own direction, we need to take her outside after word and pound on her.

    New facebook group: Christie Blatchford needs a beating.

  28. Matt S says

    Yes, Ms. Blatchford, men should be manly and be too afraid to hug or even touch in any way. That sure is manly, to be frightened of how other people will see you.

    Yes, encourage vigilantism. That’s essentially what she’s doing. Don’t tell the authorities, hunt down the guy who beat you up yourself, or get up a posse.

  29. Rick says

    @NAT You said:

    “Because generally, truly severe bullying is directed at children perceived as weak – either physically, emotionally, or because they have little to no friends.”

    That’s true–and many kids are bullied for reasons that have nothing to do with real or perceived sexual orientation.

    That said, I have seen strapping, buff, totally in-shape gay men shrink from harrassment from straight men barely half their size whom they could beat the crap out of….and there is really no excuse for that. When I was living in DC a couple of decades ago, I even read in the local gay paper about a straight guy going into a gay bar and harrassing several of the patrons and amazingly, despite outnumbering him by God knows how much (20-1?, 50-1?), the patrons apparently just stood there and let him get away with it.

    Many gay men are in severe need of “masculinity training” to restore what has been lost through their absorption/internalization of the larger societal notion that they are of inferior masculinity to straight men and therefore cannot successfully confront them if need be, including physical confrontation if necessary under certain circumstances–it is all in their heads and there is no reason they should allow themselves to be bullied or rely on anyone else to defend them.

  30. says

    RICK, once again, WHY are you still Closeted? “masculinity training”?

    Dude, you’re the one who is still pathetically Closeted, and incapable of living an Out and Authentic existence. You are in dire need of a testicle transplant, clearly.

    Why can’t you provide the URL to your own page or youtube video where you show all of us what a Strong Masculine Tough Gay Male you are?

    Come on. Show us. Show us all this uber-masculine example of a gay man that you claim that you are. Post the URL to your own video or page.

    No Out gay men have any fears of “being of inferior masculinity to straight men” – ALL Closeted men, however, do.

    That’s why you, RICK, are not Out. You’re still scared that people will think you’re less of a man. Just like your dad, who didn’t want you for a son.

    So, c’mon. Prove me wrong, and try to prove yourself right – post the URL to your own page or video so we can all see you manly masculine gay example.

    we’re waiting.

  31. St. Theresa of Avila says

    This angry old gorgon is worried that if men can show each other satisfying non-sexual intimacy, they won’t turn to other sources of masculine approval for it…like her!

  32. Javier says

    A hug is not a bad thing in any way shape or form. It shows affection for someone you care about. Why does she refer to hugs as being not masculine? Why does she not like hugs? Intimacy issues? People want to feel that they are connected with one another. A hug is a physical manifestation of this connection be it a close friend or a lover. If you keep people at a distance then it is possible that you are creating an unnecessary barrier between you and the other person that you want to hold close to you.

  33. Contrarian says

    Wow, the bitterness is flowing and not just from the poison pen (or keystrokes) of Ms. Blatchford with her Dickensian name. It’s a generational thing really. Boys of 10 or 12 (of whom she speaks) in the ancient times of my youth didn’t hug though you might place a discrete arm (briefly) over a sport team-mates shoulder after the game or briely pat their butt.

    Why should anyone here care about a presumbably hetero woman deploring the loss of masculinity of straight men? In my experience most str8 women prefer men who are masculine and just clueless enough to need a surrogate mommy to purchase their socks and underwear, and in some cases their pants as well. If you doubt me, have you ever worked in retail? Let hets work this out among themselves and don’t get your undies in a knot.

  34. Nat says

    “Why should anyone here care about a presumbably hetero woman deploring the loss of masculinity of straight men… Let hets work this out among themselves and don’t get your undies in a knot. ”

    Because her screed was a missive against steps to deal with bullying at a systemic level, rather than expecting bullied children to tough it out, or conjure mythical guardians to protect them. Blatchford is inherently reactionary to any attempts to rethink how we approach children and bullying; at its most basic level, she and her ilk are proponents of the continued infantilization of children, because they want to continue to excuse or downplay violence simply because it occurs amongst children.

    And I don’t see how her attack is strictly limited to heterosexual men: gender norms affect gay and bisexual men as much as they do heterosexuals.

  35. Shelly says

    Ya know, it never fails. Rick always manages to raise points that prick up my ears enough I see a molecule of sense in them, but then he runs with them to the most thoroughly and repulsively misogynistic/internalized homophobic extremes that I start to wonder if this guy can possibly be for real or if he’s just hell-bent on pissing everybody off. I’m leaning toward the latter.

  36. jamal49 says

    Here’s a tip, witch. Go to most of Europe or Morocco or Egypt or Japan or Korea or India or South America because in those countries, it is acceptable for boys to walk arm in arm or hug when they meet. Woman, you look like you have NEVER been hugged. My suggestion for you is to get your tired, cranky, vile, petty, unimaginative, homophobic, alcoholic ass into rehab. Such bitterness and envy for something so innocent as two boys giving each other a hug displays an extreme intellectual, spiritual and emotional poverty that one can look at you only with abject pity.

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