Texas Megachurch Expects 30,000 for Tim Tebow Easter Sermon

TebowThe hot Christianist ticket this weekend:

The church told local TV station KVUE that it’s erecting bleachers on its 60-acre outdoor space for what it expects to be a crowd of as many as 30,000 people.

“Obviously it’s our Super Bowl,” said Joe Champion, pastor at the Celebration Church. “Easter is the resurrection of Christ, which we celebrate in our faith. We feel like it’s going to be a testimony to the community. We want it to be a family event.”

Tebow recently got a mani-pedi (first time I’ve ever typed that phrase) to get himself ready for the festivities, but Pastor Champion wants to make clear that it’s not all about glorifying Tebow.

Comments

  1. Paul R says

    Well goodness! I certainly hope I can make it to this event! It sounds so inspiring. Nothing inspires on the Lord’s second big day of the year like some idiot with decent nails!

  2. Tim says

    Holy Christian! Is he going to be speaking in bare feet? Maybe he is going to walk on water? Maybe get his feet washed by TeBabes? Wow, these Christians are a strange bunch.

  3. Max says

    A post for bashing Catholics, followed by this post for bashing Christians. Next up, a Romney-VP post for bashing Mormons?

    I wish everyone a Happy Passover, Easter, and Spring. Go outside, enjoy the sunshine, and try to spend a few moments loving the world instead of hating everyone in it.

  4. Rick says

    “Maybe get his feet washed by TeBabes?”

    Hell, I’d wash his feet….and I bet you would to, if given the opportunity. LOL.

  5. Alan says

    Wow, I’d go just see Tebow strut his hotness. I bet he looks damn fine in a suit. Muscles pressing tight against the fabric, pulsating.

    Delicious that man is…..

  6. TANK says

    I have some sad news for the pathetic, middle-aged queens around here who are drooling over muscle-bound Timmy Tebow: he strikes me as though he’d be a total bottom. Just trying to keep it real, guys!

  7. Rick says

    @Tank I can see your point–he is a little giggly and has kind of a soft voice, but I have a different take on it.

    I think he is just a big tease. He knows how attractive he is and he knows he meets all the criteria for being the ultimate turn-on for gay men–professional football player (and a quarterback at that–and a rough-and-tumble quarterback at that), Heisman Trophy winner, great looks, perfect bod……and hugely wealthy, to boot……

    ….and so he plays into that and does everything he can to keep them guessing and drive them crazy….including the famous “topless” photo he did wearing just his football trunks in college, the underwear ads, etc…….which, when you think about it, are very “un-Christian”

    He is “playing” two diametrically-opposed groups at once–gay men, on the one hand, and “Christians” on the other–and doing a masterful job of it.

    I just wonder how long he can keep it up until worlds collide and either tragedy occurs or he somehow brilliantly fuses the two aspects of his life together.

    Fascinating to watch, regardless.

  8. Caliban says

    I’m praying he’ll ascend to the heavens just like Jesus so I don’t have to keep seeing articles about every detail of his life. What’s next, an article about the size, consistency and odor of his bowel movements?!

  9. say what says

    “Tim Tebow Easter Sermon”

    what divinity school did he attend?

    Hell, what online ordination service has he used?

    All preachers, priests, mullahs, rabbis, etc are shyster snake oil salesmen BUT come on now

  10. say what says

    PS

    Rick

    wow actually that is an interesting hypothesis

    I’ve always assumed the xtian schtick was just that schtick on Tebow’s part at promotion = $$$ but if you are right and He + His brother who is his manager are also using sexuality on the other hand as promotion = $$$ as well then I think I might actually have respect for them

    Not that I agree with nor would do such myself, but eh pretty brilliant if true

  11. Grady says

    Gosh, TANK, the way you’re always ranting about “middle-aged queens”, you must be terrified of getting older! Hopefully, for your own sake, you’ll die young.
    Just trying to keeping it real.

  12. jack says

    I am going to pass up Tebow’s sermon and go to the Catholic Cathederal in Boston to hear Tom Brady’s sermon. Us Irish “Catholic” guys have to stick together.

  13. Michael says

    I wonder how Tebow feels knowing what will happen with his fellow Christians if he ever grows the balls and admits he’s gay.

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  15. TJ says

    MAX – When groups of gays, led by televangelgays and gay presidential wannabes, start calling religious groups abominations and call for ostracism, rejection, and even death; when twitter threads get extra activity when people start posting, “To my unborn child, if you’re Christian, I will kill you; when people lose their jobs for admitting being Christian (not proselytizing mind you, or refusing to do their jobs, or creating hostile work environments); when all of these and more occur, you may have a point. Until then, please, STFU.

  16. Rich says

    Michael, you know that Tim Tebow is gay; HOW?

    Well, he’s prayed for that, and he’s just waiting for god or the Easter Bunny to deliver.

  17. Davelandia says

    “…Pastor Champion wants to make clear that it’s not all about glorifying Tebow.”

    Of course its not. With 30K people there, Its about all the money in offerings that are going to come in that day. Puhleez.

  18. Ryan says

    I’ve actually thought for quite some time that he’s closeted, or has his mind so wrapped into his religious beliefs that he has confused himself into thinking he’s straight…

    While I normally hate to engage in stereotypes, sometimes, as the saying goes, “the shoe fits.” Flame on, Tim Tebow…. flame on.

  19. Rick says

    “Michael, you know that Tim Tebow is gay; HOW?”

    Not Michael, but:

    He is a Heisman Trophy-winning quarterback who led his college team to a national championship and led his NFL team to the playoffs as a rookie, becoming a cult figure and a celebrity in the process……which has, of course, caused tens of thousands of women to throw themselves at him……a 24-year-old man with testosterone overload and hormones raging and his sexual drive peaking…….and despite all that, he apparently HAS NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND…….or shown any sexual interest in women

    In fact, he basically admitted to being a virgin a couple of years ago and claimed that he was so out of “devotion to Jesus”…… even as he was doing half-nude photo shoots for national magazines and underwear marketers…..

    And then there is the not-so-secret college “roommate” that half of Gainesville knew about.

    He kind of “talks gay” (ever heard him in an interview?), dresses fashionably, and just had his nails done in West Hollywood.

    Awww, shoot, nothing in any of that to suggest anything other than your run-of-the-mill hetero. LOL.

  20. says

    Deuteronomy 7:5-6 calls for us to cut down and burn all images of false idols. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ must reclaim His thrown and take back His Holiday from the spawn of Evil which is the Easter Bunny. We must abandon materialistic excess and unbridled idol worship for the sake of our children and faith. The Easter Bunny must die and you will join Christ’s hand in guiding the Hammer of God down upon him at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2012/04/oschter-haws-easter-tale-of-calamity.html

  21. jack says

    McKay: are you joking and I just don’t get it. There are a whole lot of gay guys who look more like Larry Bird than Cristiano Ronaldo.

  22. Dale says

    “Tebow recently got a mani-pedi…”

    What the hell, is he going to preach in a robe and sandals? These bible thumpers act like this kid is the second coming because he puts scripture versus in his football payer eye makeup? Spare me!

  23. Andrew says

    I am unlucky enough to say that this church is in my town. I am dreading the fact that I will even be within 10 miles of Tim Tebow.

  24. Mark says

    SIXTY ACRES??? WTF? Please tell me how ANY church needs 60 acres?? For what its worth, Celebration Church is one of those “be seen” churches for all the “have’s” who don’t have a clue how much hate they spew.

    Tebow? Such a fool. These people will suck him in and use him to stack coin in their “pay up” plates – which I am told they pass around TWICE! I guess they allow a little guilt to settle in before they go for round two! :) And once he falls out of grace with the NHL and media focus, his star power will fade. That church will be done with him.

    Celebration Church = BYC (bring your cash). That, my friend, is the only “joy” they know.

  25. gomez says

    who spends more than 2 seconds wondering about a celebrity’s sexuality?

    no, seriously, 2 seconds is the reasonable maximum of time considering these things

    then just let it go, mk?

  26. Michael says

    How do I know Tebow is gay? Two years ago I read an article where he said he didn’t date women due to his morals.

    Biblical morality makes no such request.

    Btw, you guys who are saying I think he’s gay because he’s cute are pathetic. There have been rumored galore about him being gay in Gainesville and the recent video of him flaming out just adds to it.

    Maybe some of you are too dim witted but his morality is just some lame excuse people eat up.

  27. Michael says

    Btw2, Tebow just happens to be hanging out getting a manicure in the gayest place on the west coast.

    Some of really aren’t that ignorantly blind, right?

  28. Kevin thor says

    This homo hopes that earth quakes in Texas and swallows up these Evangelical Christian hate group members and the closet case doing the preaching.

  29. jack says

    Kevin: To wish the death of others is a hateful thing. Are you a hater? Really are you? Or is this internet rhetoric?

  30. rocky says

    listening to him in interviews he comes across totally fem. I think the saving himself for the right woman is bull. No normal heterosexual red blooded prof football player is going to be a virgin at that age. I dont think he likes women and sooner or later he will be on the extreme down low. I would guess he d be a bottom as well. The evangelical spin is obnoxious and a turnoff.Can you imagine how screwed up mentally he would be? Despite the bod and the face, not interested.