Chick-Fil-A Debuts New Homophobic Sandwich

Queerhatin

The Onion makes note of a new menu item from Chick-Fil-A, the "Queer Hatin' Cordon Bleu":

In a press conference to reporters, company representatives said the homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce.

"The Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu is our company's way of showing our firm commitment to strong, Christian family values," said Chick-fil-A spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda for just $6.95. "From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”

"Of course, the young ones will want to finish their meals off right with a No Fudge Packin' Soft Serve Cone," Gary added. "I can't think of a better way to follow up a sandwich this good."

They add: "According to sources, the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is merely the first of Chick-fil-A’s new family values menu which is set to include the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11 strawberry fruit smoothie."

(note: The Onion is satire)

Comments

  1. pr_pro says

    OK folks, what is the point of another stupid article about Chick fil A when no one wants to hear the actual truth? The founder of Chick fil A, Truett Cathy, is a paedophile. I know this based on personal experience. Using his “charity” set up to help “disadvantaged boys” or under the guise of mentoring the young men in his restaurants, Truett Cathy would invite young men to his house and try to shower with them, try to use the hot tub in his office naked with them(for Christ’s sake, who other than a kiddie-fiddler has a hot tub in their office???), and kiss them on the lips. Dan Cathy is on this anti-gay crusade because he witnessed first-hand his father’s behavior.

  2. Luke says

    personal experience? Are you trying to say you were molested by Cathy? If so, why are you talking about it on an internet message board and not talking to the police? I smell bullsh*t

  3. endo says

    Honestly, PR_PRO (my god I hope that’s not for Public Relations because you’re terrible at it), anyone who’s too dumb to realize this is an Onion article isn’t worth taking seriously.

  4. pr_pro says

    Yes it is based on personal experience. I could report it to the police, and I’d be out of a job and living on the street, probably like a lot the other people that this creep took advantage of, just to be told “that was 20 years ago”, or “he didn’t actually rape you so it’s not a big deal”. That’s how this works. That’s why people like Jerry Sandusky were able to get away with what they did for twenty-plus years.

  5. Rob says

    PR PRO that is disturbing to hear, and it rings true somehow. There have been multiple other “philanthropists” who prey on disadvantaged youth in the same way. If it is true, you need to formally level an accusation and document it however you can. (A hot tub in the office is itself exceedingly unusual, sounds suspicious to me, and would be easy to corroborate.) Usually some secretary who was aware of it would come forward, and other victims would as well. You are correct, individuals are treated skeptically, but in aggregate it becomes believable, then firmly established fact. Sandusky was never videotaped doing it, and was only convicted on the basis of multiple victims saying what happened.

  6. Jasper says

    Honestly, the first thing I thought was this is fake and I’m most certain it is. What company would do this anyway? I mean yeah he came out and said he’s anti-homo, but I don’t think he’d do this. This would be detrimental to the buisness. And if he IS a pedophile, I hope he rots in hell for all the boys he’s done his disgusting deeds to piece of s***

  7. odsbjorn says

    Jasper and Rosemary have both had their funny bones removed.

    PR_PRO if you know a crime like child abuse occurred and you do nothing, how are you better than the criminal?

  8. AJay says

    Doesn’t anyone understand the meaning of the word “SATIRE”?? This isn’t a real article people, although I must admit the way it is presented here certainly lends it more credibility than it deserves.

  9. sherri says

    If this is Really what they call the sandwich..then straight or not I will Never eat chicfila again…because that is just plain rude and disrespectful which IS NOT very Christian at all!!!!!

  10. sherri says

    If this is Really what they call the sandwich..then straight or not I will Never eat chicfila again…because that is just plain rude and disrespectful which IS NOT very Christian at all!!!!!

  11. mike says

    Monica Brook Ondrick, It does tell us, that our money is our money to use as we desire, that we can hire or not hire as we desire, It also tells us we DO NOT HAVE TO SUPPORT SIN! in fact, it tells us TO AVOID HAVING FELLOWSHIP WITH THOSE THAT SIN…. There are many things the Bible tells us that people keep trying to say it doesn’t. It also tells us that those that are thieves, those that lie, those that commit adultery (whether it is a man with a woman, or man with man or woman with woman, still adultery) (as well as others ) WILL NOT HAVE A PART IN THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN….. (by the way, only a man can be a husband, and only a woman can be a wife)..

  12. dave says

    to mike: historians have proven that the bible is a book of fiction written by scholars under command of the roman emporer constantine to unite all the lands’ religions together. to spout off at the mouth about fables gives you or any other christian no credibilty at all.

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