1. says

    Gay stories are so beautiful! They need to be shared more often. Our stories are far more interesting, fascinating and evolving than the generic life story of any hetero I know. We should be proud to share our tale

  2. xael says

    it was not then what it is now …. to come out … i’m glad his kids helped him and i’m happy for him !! a wonderful story !

    @MALAYSIAN HO your perspective on life sucks

  3. Nice Guy says

    I once had a conversation with an older gay gentlemen who was in his 70s. He teared up and I was bawling at the end of the conversation. It was at an LGBT center for an event I almost did not attend, and am so glad I did.

    We have no idea how hard it was for people up until the 90s to be openly gay. It was a kiss of death. People were so closed to it that you had no choice but to either be completely closeted, or were constantly told to marry the opposite sex.

  4. Scott Johansen says

    I do not blame the older generation for marrying the same sex. They weren’t lying or cheating SOCIETY WAS CHEATING OUR COMMUNITY. Society demanded our community change who we inherently are to live our lives for heterosexuals comfort. Society made millions of lesbians and gay men sell out their soul.

    Shame this happens to this day. Communities, families and churches FORCING- yes…forcing…their gay youth to marry into a straight relationship. This vicious cycle promoted by heterosexuals needs to end.

  5. Cali-Greg says

    Malaysian ho,

    anytime someones initial response to a gay related story on here is to blame the gay, without examining the story, HISTORICAL FACTS on LGBT struggles, and be an indepth thinker…they are homophobic, and you need to do some soul searching and go inward and ask yourself why when you read this touching coming of age story about a man finally accepting who he was meant to be, instead of seeing the anecdote for what it was, you decided to spin it into a homophobic ‘blame the gay’ spin. That’s on you. We can’t help you with that.

    Bt I’m proud to be part of an LGBT commmunity that , for a large part, supports their own. and prides ourselves in encouraging each other to come out, be out, be open, and true to who you were meant to be. Even if it’s a struggling journey.

  6. says

    Life is complicated. For our gay elders it was extremely complicated, since being out and honest about who they were wasn’t something many could deal with, for good reason. There was zero societal encouragement to have an honest and open gay family life.

    That Dean not only found love with a man, but received the blessing of his extended family, speaks to how far we’ve come. And speaks of the love his family must have for him to be supportive despite the hurt his closetedness must have caused. And Dean isn’t alone: I know of quite a few families who’ve embraced the belated coming out of their wives/husbands/fathers/mothers. Kind of what families, at their best, are all about.

  7. Santiago says


    We’re an LGBT community. Always have been always will be.
    And millions of us pride ourselves in not being gay individuals but part of a bigger community.

  8. ReaderStreeter says

    @ Dave

    Dean actually mentioned in another article he is now happy to be part of the LGBT people. His exact words. You don’t get to dictate how or what others view themselves as.

  9. CTurtle says

    What a lovely story of a lovely man.

    If only todays generation of apologist gays hiding in a dark closet had his courage. Instead, they cowardly live their lives for their hetero neighbors.

  10. Mike says

    Do not feed the antigay Christian trolls who come here to hate. They seem to not understand that God created gays and straights equally and said that all men were created equally. Then God said love one another. We gay Christians pray that some day the antigay Christian will learn the true meaning of Gods words, where he said all men are created equally and to love on another.

  11. andrew says

    Ill admit it, I have tears in my eyes. What a beautiful story. I also think his wife, children and grandchildren as well as Dean and Richard are great people.

  12. Malaysian Ho says

    lol@ cali-greg

    the man is a cheat. Call it blame the gay if you want. A gay man who is married to a man and having an affair with another woman ; that is also a cheat. Call it blame the straight if you want.

  13. andrew says

    It is a beautiful story. All seem like wonderful people: Dean and Richard, Dean’s former wife and his children and grandchildren. I hope they get together for a large and happy Thanksgiving Feast.

  14. Doug says

    Well, yes, like a lot of men of his generation, he was an adulterer. Looking back, many find it hard to excuse. I’ve long gotten my nose out of joint over men who lived a lie and defrauded a woman into giving her life to them.

    But did she do all that poorly? It’s hard to tell. She had a marriage to a man who must have felt something for her, even if it was not the complete and right thing in the end. We can assume she had a reasonably acceptable life to her. And she got babies! 4 of them! By the account, they have not done too poorly. Did she wind up without a husband. Well, yes, many women do. The universe works out its own plans, and our intentions and expectations in the end often have very little sway over how things go.

    They probably both did better than they might have otherwise. I am moving beyond judging too harshly.

  15. DrMikey says

    @ MALAYSIAN HO – Glad that you’re stuck in a hell hole like Malaysia, walking the streets as hos do. And when you apply for a visa at the US Consulate, I will be smiling when the official gladly stamps ‘REJECTED’ on your passport! Hope the fellow Muslims who are your clients, treat you like the sack of poop that you are…

  16. Lawrence says

    Dave above is right on. There is no such thing as LGBT. It makes no sense. This man is not a transgender. And gay people are not in any kind of one community with transgenders. Maybe the whole world is one big community, but I am no more in any kind of special relationship with transgenders than I am with people in the Rose Bowl parade.

  17. Mitch says

    Cheater? If you insist on a label, perhaps. But it misses the greater story of a family’s compassion and an enduring love between two men against incredibly harsh odds.

  18. Malaysian too says

    Let me say first that I’ve nothing against Dean Ostrum. His story made me smile, and I think his children are awfully sweet for giving him a hand and being so understanding.

    But what “malaysianho” was so cross about was how the guy got involved with someone else while he was married. I’m not saying I agree with his unsympathetic stance, but this being a conservative country, I get where he/ she is coming from.

    And what’s all this seriously xenophobic criticism about my country? Just because some people here are narrow-minded doesn’t mean all of us are. Ok, so we have Najib and his wife. But Americans have Brian Fischer, Uganda Rebecca Kadaga, and the Church the Pope. Are you going to call all these countries/ institutions hell-holes too?

    The next time you want to attack someone, please restrain yourself to their unsavoury behaviour; and leave their nationality/ race/ religion/ what-have-you alone.

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