Republican National Convention | Republican Party | The Onion

Tampa's Gay Hustlers Set to Take Advantage of Flood of Incoming Closeted Republicans: VIDEO


The Onion delivers a potty-mouthed report on the upcoming Republican National Convention.

"You figure these delegates are so repressed and filled with self-hatred they tend to like the filthiest and kinkiest sex acts available."

Watch (warning: language, politically incorrect satire), AFTER THE JUMP...

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  1. It's so true.

    Posted by: Mike in nyc | Aug 22, 2012 9:22:41 AM

  2. truth in humor.

    Posted by: gary | Aug 22, 2012 9:27:30 AM

  3. A good friend is a transvestite sex worker- all boy, just dresses like a gal (not that I should have to explain this to this blog group). She's expensive, exclusive and has worked two Republican Conventions- it's extrordinary how much extra business she gets. Booked day and night. All bottoms.

    Posted by: dave | Aug 22, 2012 9:46:23 AM

  4. The price list for extra-nasty services is most helpful.

    Posted by: Steve Scarborough | Aug 22, 2012 9:48:50 AM

  5. on a similar note, I have a friend who is a transexual sex worker and here in Las Vegas she is booked solid during rodeo season...a very white, Christian heterosexual event.

    Posted by: DrJWL | Aug 22, 2012 9:52:37 AM

  6. I've lived in NYC for over 30 years so, as one does, I've met a lot of interesting people. I used to know a Russian rent-boy who sold sex to the Secretary of State of a past Republican administration. Such stories are legion. I dated a dude who, before he quit drinking and doing drugs, was the boytoy of a married Republican senator. He told me about a bar on Capitol Hill that was typically stuffed with Republican senators and representatives and their kept boys at 8am on Congressional working days. These hypocritical liars have always been like this. I don't expect anybody to believe me or not believe me, but this kind of thing typifies republican politicians.

    Posted by: Danny in the East Village | Aug 22, 2012 9:57:09 AM

  7. I hope those hustlers and, in fact, any gay men who have sex with any of those Republicans come out after the convention and tell the world Every. Little. Detail. I would die of happiness!

    Posted by: Jack M | Aug 22, 2012 10:13:35 AM

  8. Best line on the captions at the bottom "Hospital gearing up for flood of torn rectums." OMG! LOL!

    Posted by: Stevie | Aug 22, 2012 10:24:11 AM

  9. Can't wait to hear the GRINDR stats out of Tampa the week of the convention.

    Posted by: zekeaz | Aug 22, 2012 10:25:40 AM

  10. I am not surprised.

    Posted by: Matt26 | Aug 22, 2012 11:10:43 AM

  11. alright. Tampa, here we go. Lets do some Craigsbaiting and have a Whos Who Repubiclans.

    Posted by: Malaysian Ho | Aug 22, 2012 11:29:12 AM

  12. Don't laugh. I got a feeling that's there's going to be a lot of "tearoom stall toe-to-dancing" down in Tampa next week.

    Posted by: jamal49 | Aug 22, 2012 11:55:48 AM

  13. There's going to be more gay sex happening in one week at the GOP Convention than there was in 10 years on Fire Island.

    Posted by: FuryOfFirestorm | Aug 22, 2012 11:59:25 AM

  14. Its just as true that the straight sex workers love the Republicans coming to town as its been shown that they enjoy a bigger bump in business with them than when the Democrats show up with their convention. The belief being that the Dems are more idealistic and and hold their values dearer than the Reps who are in town to party and want the most fun money can buy. The hypocrisy is astounding.

    Posted by: Jeff | Aug 22, 2012 1:44:00 PM

  15. "Hospitals gearing up for flood of torn rectums." - Awesome.

    Posted by: D.R.H. | Aug 22, 2012 2:53:23 PM

  16. And of course, we all know that only Republicans are closet cases, don't we?


    Kerry Gauthier, Minnesota Rep.(D), Urged To Step Down After Admitting Liaison With 17-Year-Old Boy

    ST. PAUL, Minn. — A Minnesota state lawmaker who authorities say admitted having a liaison with a 17-year-old boy at a rest stop faced calls from party leaders Monday to give up his re-election bid.

    Rep. Kerry Gauthier, 56, hasn't been charged in the July incident, and authorities said he wouldn't be because the boy was older than 16, the legal age of consent, and no money was exchanged. Police say the teenager responded to the lawmaker's Craigslist ad for "no strings attached" sex.

    Gauthier admitted to the liaison, according to police reports made public late last week. The teen told police the two had oral sex, according to the reports.

    The scandal has hurt Democrats' hopes of retaking at least one chamber of the Legislature. They need to pick up at least six seats in the House, and Gauthier's Duluth-area seat usually is reliably Democratic. But if he drops out, any Democrat seeking to replace him would have to run as a write-in candidate, making the race much more difficult to win

    Posted by: Rick | Aug 22, 2012 3:01:00 PM

  17. The younger guy in the still looks a lot like Ron Young from Amazing Race 7...

    Posted by: Mark B | Aug 22, 2012 3:19:35 PM

  18. @Dave: I want to BELIEVE.

    Posted by: Solomon | Aug 22, 2012 4:08:26 PM

  19. One of the best Onions yet!

    Posted by: tinkerbelle | Aug 22, 2012 5:32:22 PM

  20. One thing's for certain: You don't have to be out of the closet to post here.

    And yes, I think Republicans have more incentive to stay closeted.

    Posted by: ophu | Aug 23, 2012 1:01:11 AM

  21. Oh, and since I know the question will be asked, the incentives Republicans have to stay closeted are, of course, other Republicans.

    Posted by: ophu | Aug 23, 2012 1:02:32 AM

  22. names, dave, give us names

    Posted by: t | Aug 23, 2012 5:39:35 AM

  23. This just proves that Gays will "Eat their own"...sad and funny at the same time...

    Posted by: styler | Jul 21, 2014 1:17:42 PM

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