Two Of Ten Suggested Ways To Sustain A Uniquely Gay Culture

GayTradeWorried that a unifying gay culture will go the way of the dodo if everyone mainstreams, Brian Moylan at The Guardian offers ten "key experiences every gay man should experience to draw them together."

Here are numbers five and ten:

5. Protest: Get out there with a picket sign and some anger and fight for your rights. Even before Stonewall we have a long history of fighting the man, and that should never die. You can collect signatures for marriage equality or you can join an Occupy protest and fight income inequality, but never stop fighting. And if PDA (public displays of agitation) aren't your thing, there are plenty of causes that need fundraising, which can easily be done over brunch (a gay art that somehow is not on this list).

10. Come Out Of The Closet: In our age of Gay Straight Alliances in schools and celebrities who live in a perpetual glass closet without ever making a final announcement, coming out seems it's going out of style. "Why should gay people have to come when straight people don't?" While in some distant gaytopia that might come to pass but until then it's probably the only unifying experience every gay person has.

We all have a coming out story, whether it was when your mom says she knew already, your father stopped talking to you, or your boss just didn't care and told you to go back to your desk. No matter what else you may or may not have in common with another gay person, you can always fall back on this. It's like talking about the weather, but far more interesting, and often with more tears.

Moylan also suggests adopting a diva as your own. I suggest fictional "old lady" Gemma Teller Morrow.

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  1. Actually drag has more roots in straight culture than gay. The night club La Cage in LA used to have a strictly straight clientele. And cross dressing is done by straight men all the time. So by not liking drag, you are REALLY gay! And Rick, about effeminate men, most all are more butch in bed than the "straight acting" ones, sorry to say.

    Posted by: tyler | Aug 17, 2012 6:25:21 PM

  2. "i'm always puzzled by the "i don't like anything stereotypically gay!" gays. why?"

    I'm not defending any of the self-hating queens that populate the comment sections here, but personally, I can see where some of them are coming from. Some, mind you. I mean, I have zero interest in seeing a drag show. I like my men to look like men. That's purely a sexual thing. And I do think that a lot of straight guys seem more "open" to this sort of thing when in reality they're actually just trying to seem hip, or like they're expanding their horizons or whatever. I have a "I'll do anything once" straight friend who fits this mold. For me, I get nothing out of a drag show, for example. He might not either, but since he's straight, he's more inclined to do it just for the sake of having the experience. Does that make sense?

    Posted by: Robert | Aug 17, 2012 7:31:26 PM

  3. Yeah, it makes sense, if you've never been told over and over by the dominant culture that you're bad, inherantly defective, and dirty, you probably are more emotionally secure and feel less compelled to conform.

    Which is ironic, because the very thing that so many gay guys find "hot" in straight guys is EXACTLY the thing they profess to not be "gay enough" in gay guys.

    The term "self hating" is almost always hurled at gay guys that simply wouldn't EVER sleep with someone like the person carelessly tossing it around.

    This isn't "gay", par se, it's just being a faggot.

    Posted by: Buckie | Aug 17, 2012 8:03:45 PM

  4. Buckie,

    Absolutely no idea what you just said.

    Posted by: jmg | Aug 17, 2012 8:55:42 PM

  5. I don't take marching orders from Guardianistas. Besides, it's a lame list.

    Posted by: ratbastard | Aug 17, 2012 9:24:34 PM

  6. JMG: I'm not surprised, it's just oh so difficult to read these posts in the order they were posted...

    Posted by: Buckie | Aug 17, 2012 9:34:56 PM

  7. Not surprising that yet again some people are posting comments when they obviously have not read the entire article.
    About having a DIVA...doesn't have to be a singer and you don't have to slavishly adore her. Chose someone like Michelle Obama and admire her.
    About don't have to USE them just know what they are and what they do.
    About have to BE campy, just know what camp is and what camp isn't.
    And for goodness sake, learn to recognize a tongue in cheek article when you read one!
    just for the record, I am an old dinosaur who has done everything on list this except visit the AIDS quilt

    Posted by: Paul K | Aug 18, 2012 8:58:01 AM

  8. I love to read Little Kiwi's comments when he's not spitting venom at people. The only trouble is it's not an expereince I get too often!

    Posted by: Mary | Aug 18, 2012 9:02:06 AM

  9. I love to read Little Kiwi's comments when he's not spitting venom at people. The only trouble is it's not an expereince I get too often!

    Posted by: Mary | Aug 18, 2012 9:02:06 AM

  10. @Derrick I did not see the film version of "Torch Song Trilogy" but I did see the original play on Broadway. I don't remember that line, but I think it was prophetic.

    Unfortunately, we are still largely in the "Amos 'n Andy"/Step-'n'fetch-it stage, as evidence by the proliferation of effeminate gay male characters on television.

    I think--and hope--that it is a transitional phase, just as "Amos 'n Andy" was for blacks. It could be that a group that has been shunned for so long and therefore invisible from TV has to be introduced in stereotypical form first, so as not to be too threatening to the audience. Portraying gay men as effeminate clowns allows the straight viewing audience to laugh their nervousness away, while they adjust to the idea of seeing homosexuality in their living room for the first time.

    The same way that laughing at stereotypical black characters like Amos 'n Andy allowed them to adjust to the idea of seeing blacks in their living room for the first time.....and cleared the way for "Julia" and then "Good Times" and finally, the uber-mainstream "Cosby Show".

    Portraying gay men as fully masculine beings may be too threatening at first, both to the straight majority and to gay men like yourself.

    I realize that some of you have invested very heavily in the culture of effeminacy and that you are therefore going to be threatened by its pending extinction......large-scale social revolutions always have their victims.....I just wish that you could face the fact that that culture you have so enjoyed and derived your identity from is self-destructive and not something to be proud of.....perhaps, a culture the development of which was inevitable under the historical circumstances, but one which, like all cultures, eventually loses relevance as society as a whole changes.

    Posted by: Rick | Aug 18, 2012 10:28:57 AM

  11. fun fact - the insecure gay trolls who most insist that we all need to be "masculine" and who claim to be super "masculine" themselves can never, ever ever put a face to their claims.

    why? because not only are they not masculine, they're not even OUT.

    rick can boast about how masc he is all he likes. anonymously. online. he's still a basement dweller who will die alone. and even then, we'll only known he's dead when a neughbour drops in to investigate "that funny smell" that's been emanating from that weird dude's apartment for a few weeks....

    that's the thing - those who complain most about "the community" and "the culture" are those who don't actually have any real experiences with it - a world of hate built on heresay.

    i love my gay-@ss life :)

    Posted by: LittleKiwi | Aug 18, 2012 12:43:08 PM

  12. Little Kiwi and Rick, two men both insecure in their manhood. It becomes clearer with their every post. Rick is always posting about effeminite males and the little fuzzy fruit called kiwi, thinks courage resides in the balls. Folks would be better off if they ignored both of them. And throw in Mary, her pious little pretends are the stuff of pure b*ll s*it.

    Posted by: andrew | Aug 18, 2012 8:56:04 PM

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